Summary: A strange love story starring Captain Planet and Linka. You may find it humorous.
Festering Lang Syne
Captain Planet sipped skillfully at his drink and stood festering behind a fire. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel bright and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how large his head got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Captain Planet knew very well why he was at the party: to see Linka.
Ah, Linka. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her moldy arm made Captain Planet's heart beat like a bucket of freshly butchered fish guts spread about the land.
But tonight everyone was masked. Captain Planet peered quickly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Linka. There, he thought, the woman over by the plant, the sparkling one with the dragon mask. It had to be Linka. No one else could look so azure, even in a dragon mask.
She began to walk Captain Planet's way and Captain Planet started to panic. What if she actually talked to Captain Planet?
Linka came right up to Captain Planet and Captain Planet thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Linka said slowly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the water," Captain Planet said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so crimson.
Just then, a dimwitted voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Captain Planet's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Linka might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Linka swept Captain Planet into her arms, bent him on the toilet, and kissed Captain Planet down, slipping him the tongue and groping his face.
Captain Planet could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out shakily and pulled Linka's mask off her face. It was Linka! "I knew it was you," Captain Planet said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Linka said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Captain Planet watched her go. She would be right back, Captain Planet was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
THE END
I wrote this on Drabble Matic.