Summary: This is a very odd story! Starring Severus Snape and a magical confection.
The Battle For The Cake
Under the fattest ass ever created by our lord and savior, Severus Snape farted his cake. He had been busy with the cake for hours and now wanted nothing more than a shimmering cuddle or a porous massage from his lover Harry Potter.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his cracking Harry Potter appeared at the door, grinning huskily.
"Put down the cake," Harry Potter said painfully. "Unless you want me to fart that cake on your ear."
Severus Snape put down the cake. He was sponge like. He had never seen Harry Potter so maddening before and it made him stinky.
Harry Potter picked up the cake, then withdrew a hat from his leg. "Don't be so sponge like," Harry Potter said with a maddening grimace. "A worm bit my torso this morning, and everything became wet. Now with this cake and this hat I can painfully rule the world!"
Severus Snape clutched his sloppy torso wildly. This was his lover, his cracking Harry Potter, now staring at him with a maddening leg.
"Fight it!" Severus Snape shouted. "The worm just wants the cake for his own cracking devices! He doesn't love you, not the shimmering way I do!"
Severus Snape could see Harry Potter trembling wildly. Severus Snape reached out his ear and touched Harry Potter's leg painfully. He was cracking, so cracking, but he knew only his sloppy love for Harry Potter would break the worm's spell.
Sure enough, Harry Potter dropped the cake with a thunk. "Oh, Severus Snape," he squealed. "I'm so shimmering, can you ever forgive me?"
But Severus Snape had already moved under the fattest ass ever created by our lord and savior. Like George Lucas in a field of Big Macs, he pressed his ear into Harry Potter's leg. And as they fell together in a wet fit of love, the cake lay on the floor, stinky and forgotten.
THE END
I'm sure I abused some sort of generator to do this, but I can't recall which.