A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! My best friend Desmond was in Tokyo when the earthquake struck, and I was worried sick about him. Thankfully, he's fine, and I'm meeting him at the airport in an hour! All right, I promised romance in this chapter, and TADA! Here's Chapter Five! I love it when you guys it review! It always cheers me up! Enjoy!

CHAPTER FIVE:

Patronuses (Or Patroni?)

"Today, class, we will be learning the - erm - Patronus Charm, one which we would use to deflect away Dementors, yes. This is quite a tricky charm, so please - gather around - if you would -"

"Patronus Charm? What the bloody hell is that?"

Natalia whispered to Lily. Lily rolled her eyes.

"He just said! It's a charm to deflect Dementors. Well, actually, it deflects Lethifolds as well. I read about it; it has something to do with happy thoughts and ghostly animals."

"Brilliant, can I keep it as a pet?" Natalia grinned quirkily at her. Slowly, but surely, the class gathered around Professor Deboale (rather reluctantly, might I add).

"Thought only strong wizards could do it," commented Remus, "the Patronus Charm, I mean."

"I know, Deboale doesn't look like one who could do it, eh?" snickered Sirius. Natalia bit back a chortle when she saw Professor Deboale's eyes shut tightly in concentration, and had to restrain her laughter by squeezing onto Lily's hand as the professor made low humming sounds.

"What is he doing?" asked James, staring at the meditating professor.

"Trying to think of a happy thought, I suppose," shrugged Sirius, noticing Natalia's face was beet red from suppressed laughter.

"Maybe he'll find Tinkerbell and start flying to Neverland next," smiled Lily.

Peter looked at her blankly. "What?"

Lily sighed. "Never mind." She rolled her eyes. Brilliant, the one time I try and make a joke and no one gets it, Lily thought groaning to herself. Professor Deboale's humming had been going on for at least a minute now and everyone was getting quite tired of it. Suddenly his eyes burst open and he jumped to his feet, screaming, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

"HOLY SHI-! Couldn't have given us a warning, could you?" shouted Natalia, mouth open with alarm. Professor Deboale turned in surprise at the general direction of her voice.

"Excellent job of laying low," said Sirius sarcastically, but his voice held a hint of amusement. Natalia stuck her tongue out at him and pried herself from Sirius's hand, which was clamped around her arm, gazing in awe at the Patronus that Professor Deboale had created.

"What... is that?" she asked looking dumbfounded, pointing at the ghostly creature. Remus examined it carefully.

"I have no idea," he admitted, scrutinizing it. "It looks like... a cow, with peacock feathers,"

Lily frowned, looking disappointed. Natalia snorted. "Sure doesn't look frightening if it's supposed to ward off Dementors," she chuckled, "I bet the Dementors will just fall over laughing."

Other students were whispering curiously, others were laughing, like Natalia. Professor Deboale cleared his throat.

"Yes, well, as you can see," he started nervously, "that is a Patronus." Peter looked dubious.

"I don't want to learn how to make one of those," he whispered, earning snickers from his friends.

Lily frowned. "It's supposed to be quite beautiful, if you've done it properly," she explained. "I don't know, maybe Professor Deboale's is some sort of unidentified species of cow."

"Still, it's not very flattering, is it? I mean, either way, the animal spirit of his soul is a cow," James laughed.

They all split up into pairs - James and Sirius, Remus and Peter, and Lily and Natalia.

"Wait, what was the incantation? Explico Practicum?" Peter mumbled.

"Expecto Patronum, you goose," laughed Lily, turning back to Natalia. "Now concentrate on a happy thought. Then, when you've got it, say the incantation."

"Blimey, what kind of happy thought?"

"The happiest you can think of."

"You're a better professor than Deboale, you know that?"

"Yes I do, now shut up and think of a happy thought!"

"Moody," Natalia mumbled to herself as she tried to focus. When she had found her happy thought, she shouted the incantation.

A silver mist shot out from the end of her wand and began to form a shape.

"Aha!" Natalia shouted triumphantly. "It's a red-winged blackbird! I always knew there was something significant about my Animagus!"

Lily rolled her eyes in response. "My turn."

She started to concentrate hard, closing her eyes. Natalia skipped over to her. "What are you thinking of Lily?" she asked, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Be quiet, or I can't concentrate," muttered Lily. Natalia bet that if Lily's eyes were open, she'd be rolling them. "Are you thinking of the time in Hogsmeade," she continued persistently, "with James?"

Lily turned red. "God, Nat, no I wasn't -"

"Of course you weren't, because you were imagining Halloween, when you two wore matching costumes -"

"Expecto Patronum!" A thin white wisp formed out of Lily's wand, but nothing else. Lily glared at Natalia, who looked at her innocently.

"Obviously, that memory wasn't strong or happy enough," concluded Natalia firmly, "Well, we'll just simply have to give you a memory, won't we? James Potter, get your filthy Gryffindor arse over here!"

James came prancing over, looking at Natalia curiously. His partner Sirius followed, looking somewhat amused, as he always did when she was acting strange. Which was most of the time.

"Lily can't find a happy memory to produce a Patronus," Natalia grinned at James, "give her a nice happy memory."

"What? What's going on -" Lily started, looking suspicious and red-faced. She backed away slowly.

"Will do, Lynx," smirked James, and bent down to Lily's height. He gave her a full kiss on her shocked lips and quickly ran away, laughing, before Lily could hex him. Lily glared at Natalia, then at the running boy, then at Natalia again.

Unfortunately for Lily, the bell rang before she could do anything. At that same time, Natalia had bolted from the classroom, leaving Lily standing there, with Sirius. Lily glared at Sirius, who looked away, whistling innocently.

"Going to murder that gray-eyed witch," Lily muttered angrily to herself, gently pressing her fingers against her lips. "And that four-eyed buffoon."

"I prefer, 'The Gorgeous One'," James suddenly poked out from behind the classroom door, grinning madly. He narrowly escaped a dangerous hex from Lily, who chased after him down the corridor, until he disappeared into the boys' lavatory, but that didn't stop Lily. No one gets away with kissing Lily like that, no one, not even James Potter. He was going to pay.

Lily blew open the lavatory door with her wand, her stature resembling something like an angry dragon. Her lips still burned from the kiss, and her stomach felt odd. She dismissed her feelings, but let out a frustrated cry when she saw that James was nowhere to be seen in the bathroom.

A while later, Sirius walked out of the classroom with Remus and Peter, still explaining what had happened. Suddenly Natalia came bounding from a wall and joined their group, occasionally looking over her shoulder, flinching whenever she saw girls with red hair walking around the castle.

"She acts as though she's never been kissed before," said Remus, laughing slightly at the way Natalia was cringing and darting around.

"She hasn't," said Natalia, hopping about, "Potter's the first."

"But," Peter said, "didn't she go out with... with that Ravenclaw boy in sixth year? Derrick Binkley?"

Natalia shuddered at the memory. "She did, and I followed them all throughout the date," she said cheerfully. "That date was a complete drag, so I though I'd lighten the mood by dumping a ton of horse dung on his head. Needless to say, it amused two out of three people. She's had admirers, oh yes,"

Natalia grinned, "But for some reason, they always end up either with dung in their eyes, or popsicle sticks down their pants. But the brilliant thing with James," she added, "is that I don't even have to do anything, except maybe stimulating Lily's temper."

She grinned.

"NAT!" came a loud cry of frustration, "GET BACK HERE!" Natalia gave a loud yelp and quickly scampered away. Lily ran out of the boy's bathrooms and pursued the girl, her face red.

"Natalia Lynx! I swear to God, when I get my hands on you..."

*CENSORED*

(Trust me, you do NOT want to know what happened…)

"Ha! I win!" Natalia jumped into the air, gloating and pretending to wave at her fans. Sirius grunted sulkily.

"It doesn't count as you winning when you incinerate my king with your wand," he complained.

"Oh, stop whining, you're just grouchy because I won the last ten games," Natalia grinned cheekily at him. Sirius began setting up his black pieces again.

"Rematch."

"Fine," Natalia hopped back down into her chair and began placing her pieces in random places.

"Your pawn can't go there!"

"Yes it can! And my bishop will go here!"

"If you could put your bishop there, then I'll lose automatically!"

"Precisely my point, Rapunzel."

Sirius threw his hands up in frustration.

"It's bloody impossible to play a normal game of chess with you," he groaned.

"Want to play Gobstones then?" asked Natalia, looking unperturbed.

"We tried that twenty minutes ago, you started squirting the pieces at me!"

"What are you going on about? I'm brilliant at Gobstones, maybe I should join the Gobstones club..."

"What, that nerd of a club?"

"Oh you're just being mean -"

"Alexander Spinnet is the captain of the club," Sirius grinned down at Natalia. She had her mouth open in disgust.

"You're right," she agreed. "Prats and idiots. It's only eight o'clock, what will we do?" She glanced at her watch.

"Hunt hippogriffs?" Sirius suggested, half-joking, half-serious. He was bored out of his mind. Natalia brightened up.

"I know! We can do homework!" she chirped up enthusiastically. "We've got a page of runes to translate, an essay on Muggle junk, and you've got to do another essay on grindylows and their habitants!"

"I'm done my homework," he snorted, "And what was wrong with the first essay?" Sirius said.

"I accidentally threw it into the fireplace," Natalia explained cheerfully, not looking the least bit scared when Sirius shot her a vicious glare.

"Are you two done playing chess?" Peter came up to them, looking relieved, "Because I don't understand my Arithmancy assignment."

"Pull up a chair, Pettigrew," Natalia welcomed him merrily, "We're just getting started."

"I'm not," Sirius scoffed, "I'm already done my homework."

"Yes, yes," Natalia stuck out her tongue, "you've already told us."

Sirius smirked, leaning back and putting his arms around the back of his neck. However, Natalia leaped up from her seat and poked Sirius.

"Then you can start on that grindylow essay for Deboale," she grinned. "Make grindylows sound as harmless as Flobberworms, if you would." She handed him a roll of parchment.

"Is Remus off tutoring Beauregard again?" Sirius asked Peter.

"Yeah, I think he likes her," Peter shrugged, "I guess she's friendly enough, considering she's Robertson's friend, but she's quite poor. Not a lot of money, if you ask me."

"Peter, money's not everything," Natalia laughed, "Remus isn't rich either, and they're both nice people; I think they make a rather nice couple. Of course, I'm still rooting for Potter and Evans,"she added, "Much more interesting with all their squabbles."

"I guess," Peter said nonchalantly, bending down to do his homework.

"Wheee! Homework! It's like our own Friday night homework party!" Natalia hopped up and down, toppling parchment and books. Remus, having just come back from tutoring, stared at her surprising outburst. Sirius had a look of pure shock on his face.

"It's like a second Lily Evans!" he exclaimed, cowering his head.

"Bit like a more, obscure, insane, crazy version of Lily," said Remus. Peter glanced at his watch.

"I guess Natalia's one hour of doing straight homework has come to an end," said Sirius, laughing as Peter barely avoided her foot as she danced on the couches.

"No! Not the quill!" Natalia's bouncing slowly stopped when she saw what Sirius held in his hand. Sirius still held the quill threateningly.

"Will you promise to stop bouncing and help me with my runes homework then?" he asked, prodding the quill with his wand.

"Give me back my quill!" said Natalia, sitting back down, "Or..." Sirius gave her a look, "I can't help you with your runes assignment," she added, sounding defeated. Sirius chuckled as he tossed the quill back to Natalia.

"Dunno why you're so worked up about that quill," he said, sitting down himself.

"I got it off myself! Such a pretty black!" protested Natalia, "And it's easy to write with. Brilliant quill, had this since Christmas of fourth year."

"Fine, fine, what's question twelve, then?"

"I don't know, I'm still on question nine," Natalia grinned at him. Sirius looked at her in annoyance.

"Then what have you been doing all this bloody time?" he demanded. She showed him a parchment full of inky scribbles.

"Doodling," she answered easily, "See? There's a picture of you, Sirius," she showed him a rather grotesque sketch of a dog.

"Hil-ar-i-ous," Sirius said sarcastically, emphasizing every syllable, "Now hurry up and do your runes so I can copy it."

"What?" Lily's voice rang into the conversation at that precise moment, "what's going on? What copying?"

Natalia jumped to Sirius' rescue. Or, so he thought at first.

"Sirius wants to copy my runes homework so he can spend more time snogging girls," she said cheerfully, "Why, he's in such a hurry, he wouldn't even appreciate my portrait of him."

"I never said I wanted to snog girls!" said Sirius indignantly, "And - and I'm not copying," he turned to Lily, looking innocent, "I'm just using hers as... notes."

Other than Natalia, Lily was the only person known to be immune to the Sirius Black Puppy-Eyed Charm.

"I'm afraid I have to dock off ten points from Gryffindor for plagiarizing," said Lily, looking unnerved. James, having followed Lily into the Gryffindor common room, gaped at her.

"What? Lily, stop docking off our house! Just - just because you're a Prefect doesn't give you the right to make us lose the House Cup," whined James, pouting at her. When Lily ignored him, he looked around the room, until he saw Peter flipping open a book.

He grinned, clearing his throat dramatically.

"And I hereby award twenty points to Peter's house for his immaculate studying!" he said triumphantly, "And I give myself ten points for noticing such small and helpful things."

"You can't do that!" Lily turned on him, her green eyes flashing, "You're not even a prefect!"

"Oh, and docking points off of Sirius wasn't abusing your power?" James argued, grinning.

"No, it wasn't, because he was wrong for trying to copy!" Lily returned, "it's against school rules!"

"Yeah, Sirius!" grinned Natalia, "Have you no shame?"

Everyone ignored her.

"Well, aren't you supposed to award points to hardworking students?" James said, "And Peter was studying!"

"Reading 'The Comic Adventures of Globsie the Wizard' isn't studying, James!" Lily snatched the thin book Peter was holding. Peter's face turned a light pink, but James did not seemed defeated.

"Of course it's studying! He's reading about the hardships that wizard's had to go through!" said James proudly, "And how he uses his quick wit to get out of sticky situations!" He laughed at his own pun, and only Natalia laughed with him. Remus coughed.

"All he does is eat and steal jelly!" retorted Lily, flipping through the pages, almost every one showing a picture of the plump, bald wizard consuming a plateful of colored jelly.

"The jelly represents our weakness, like money and greed. Globsie is the very person who shows us what we truly are," said James smugly, "It's extremely educational. Right, Remus?" he looked at his friend.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Oh my, I do believe it's quite late," he said quickly, getting up, "I think it's time for bed. Good night," he quickly disappeared into the dorms. With a nervous glance at the two of them, Peter snatched the book from Lily and also disappeared up the dorms. Lily and James turned to Sirius and Natalia.

"Well?" they asked at the same time. Sirius and Natalia looked at each other.

"Well, it's quite clear who's right in this case," said Natakua, shaking her head. "Honestly, I'm surprised this argument even came up. I mean, Lily is obviously trying to keep the order," Lily had a triumphant look on her face, "And James... well, he likes jelly." James rolled his eyes, but still grinned at Lily smugly. Lily frowned at James, and then frowned at Natalia.

"Then who's right?" she said, knitting her brow. Natalia sighed heavily, leaning her body on Sirius.

"It's so obvious, isn't it?" she said, pretending to sound exasperated. "Of course I'm right! I did absolutely nothing wrong, now did I? This must be some sort of record," she grinned merrily and disappeared up the dorms.

When Sirius realized he was left alone, he pointed energetically up the stairs to the boys' dorms.

"I'm going to, uh, go," he stammered, feeling uncomfortable with the demanding looks he was getting, "Remus and Peter, er, need me to tuck them in. Bye!" he scampered up the stairs.

Lily eyed James beadily.

"This isn't over," she told him sternly. James smirked at her in return.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he replied smoothly, his face equally as stubborn as Lily's.