It was a new city, a new name and a new hell for me. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were on a world tour or should I say on a honeymoon around the world. Leaving me, Carlisle and Esme to act as a family just like old times, I was pretending to be the only child. I did miss my brothers and sisters but it was a good change. The school was as boring as usual and being alone was a curse in some ways too. I, Edward Masen, son of Mary Masen and Dr. Charlie Masen was a loner as per my classmates a recluse. It suited me just fine, however I have been missing talking to other people. Whenever Carlisle came home from hospital ,I gave some privacy to my parents . They did deserve it after raising five perpetual teenagers for more than three decades. It was 1982, another milestone in my unending life.
What drew me to her is still a puzzle, she was an ordinary girl with generic brown almost muddy eyes, a little taller than your average height, with black hair contrasting against her alabaster skin making her look paler than others. Maybe it was her scent which was so dull I almost thought she had none. It was there though rich and earthy but marred by many medications she took for her tumor lodged in her brain untreatable killing her everyday. Maybe her impending death was the draw. But everyone would die one day just her death will be far sooner than her peers. Her name was Annalise , Anna her preferred name.
Our conversations began when I was assigned the duty to take her to nurse after her latest fainting. She had woken up on the way and apologized for the inconvenience drawing a laughter out of me. She was dying and was sorry. Anyways our friendship grew with time both outcasts, me by choice and her because no one wanted a dying teenager to deal with even her parents . Her father who was never home and her mother was drowning in alcohol for her child who would die before seeing her 25th birthday .
Our friendship had gone unnoticed though from our peers and my parents. It was bad enough being around humans, I didn't want to worry my adoptive parents. They would think I was being reckless, which I was .
We graduated the school together and joined the same college. I was entangled in Anna's life, I didn't want her to die alone .Carlisle was deep in worry when I said I wanted to live near the campus away from them. He thought their night activities had driven me away but on my insistence that I just wanted to experience something new and I was not running away again that he dropped the matter.
I had bought a two story house near the campus and she had convinced her parent of renting the ground floor of the house with me living on the first floor0 . Her parents had put up a fight but her insistence on living once at least was enough she bent them to her will. She had that quality you could never say no to her. Anna even convinced me to take her on ride to the mountains on my bike. It was a standard looking bike but Rosalie had modified it to suit my tastes. It was a fun experience I would agree on that . I had some trouble though sitting behind her listening to her blood pumping in her veins. It had become easier to be her friend for last three years but we never sat that close and with wind blowing her scent over me all the time was a bit too much. I preserved and we had fun ride however on the way back I made her sit behind.
Our bike rides had become almost a daily ritual, except for the days I went hunting. I had gone back to my parents every Saturday was well. It eased their anxiety and reassured them that this was a temporary thing. Living with Anna though even on different floors came with some side effects. She was observant and took notice of things like I never ate or she could not hear my heart but it was not important to her she was happy to be friends.
It was a special day , 13th of June, her 20th birthday Anna wanted to celebrate with a picnic near the waterfall we had discovered during a trip. She had packed fruits and a sheet and off we were. It was a clear day and both of us had forgot to check forecast. It was raining hard but she was happy . We were already soaked on the way to the waterfall and she was shivering. We both knew we had to cut the trip short. After half hour at the waterfall we decided to leave. Anna wanted me to click a picture, not unusual of her she was always taking pictures . Unusual was the request to take her picture which I did. Her smile in the picture stirred something in me , I wanted to try something. I had never felt this before, this desire not like this, never like this. I pulled her close to me and very carefully placed a small peck on her lips. It tasted so sweet to me, and to her too, I could hear her thoughts jumbled, I almost didn't hear her timid thank you leaving her supple lips. We were both quiet on the way back and quickly went to our rooms.
I was confused I had never felt anything romantic towards her, It was just a curiosity which I sated. The curiosity which was now ever-growing, I wanted to know more, to do more. But I didn't love her, she was not my mate, Yes I definitely felt some love it was platonic just as she did. In a panic I called Alice who picked on the first ring as if she was expecting my call. Her response though was simple to my complex puzzle, 'No she was nothing more than a friend'. She was not my mate. The words hurt more than I expected I had finally felt something for someone but it was not enough.
We went back to our usual routine going to class together, going to pubs, dancing till her feet hurt, and more bike rides. My control had grown exponentially, sometimes I would let Anna drive and burn sitting behind her. But sometimes she was too week to drive so she sat behind holding on to me tight me monitoring her thoughts closely ensuring she didn't fall.
Result of of first year came Anna had passed with flying colors. She was so happy she jumped on top of me tightening her legs behind my back just as we reached home and I eloquently spun her around. Her giggles turned quiet and without thinking much she kissed me. I was frozen, had her feelings changed did she want more but no it was just a kiss to her and as she deepened the kiss my lips followed her. We broke apart five minutes later she wanting to celebrate with some music. I stood there stunned, I was a man of old times my thoughts and sensibilities were of former part of the century, I was a man though and my curiosity had deepened more. As I heard the music staring she took my hands and we started the dance. There was some difference though there was electricity in the air and I was drawn back to her lips, and the night ended with us making out on the floor of her living room. As she slept I thought of what did my future held. It was all for naught, she woke up in the middle of night to vomit her medicines were failing, she didn't have long both of us knew it so I focused on the present holding her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach.
The next few months of our life were spent travelling to various landmarks and making out near them , Even Esme had commented on my changed happier demeanor. We had moved forward to second base as Emmett crassly called it, it was exhilarating , amazing, addicting and never enough but i didn't know if i could do more without killing her, her softness invited me enticed me just as her blood.
One day everything changed, I had not gone to college due to sun being out and was visiting Esme and Carlisle. As I came back I found Anna sleeping in my bed rousing something ancient in me. She woke up few moments later. Her explanations were weak. She just missed me. Her meek smile beckoned me to join her on the bed and we crossed a few boundaries. Boundaries friends don't cross. I was difficult for me to control so I gave the control to her and she was quite pleased as much I could tell her heart chasing the high just as I was. It took all my strength and willpower to let her do the work and not loose control. Afterwards when she sleeping on top of me still attached to me, I was thinking again. We vampires never change and when we did it was permanent , she may not have been the love of my life but her impending doom was a ticking bomb which would hurt me too. I detangled myself and left her to call Alice again, asking about our future and the answer was same as last time it was not enough, She would not see the next Christmas, not as a human nor as a vampire Anna was on her way to death.
It was pain like nothing I had experienced before as if someone was carving my heart out. I sat near my piano looking at the instrument mocking my breaking heart. Her open eyes called me back and we did a repeat of yesterday nights' activity again with her in control. The next week we barely made it out of the house considering it was a new year break. There was no need for contraceptives as I was not even human and her medications made it impossible for her to get periods.
Leaving her alone felt wrong ,I had gone back home for two days as I needed my mother's wisdom. I was hiding her still, she was my secret. Not that Esme would mind she had been waiting for me to love someone but which I did , but it wasn't that kind of love.
For the next five months we were inseparable every moment we were not studying we were making love, it was ridiculous how much I wanted Anna. I was a teenager and novelty of sex was not fading soon. It was difficult for me to understand the draw of sex and how it controlled the behavior. My control had gotten to the point of me being able to bite her softly without venom pooling in my mouth. I was all about letting her be the on top but whenever my instincts took over I had taken back the control. She was always satisfied and her smiles never failed to boost my confidence. No longer the virgin boy Emmett teased me to be it was more than just sex. She never thought about our future for she knew there was none.
On the mark of the sixth month Anna's health had started to fade, She had to hospitalized after a seizure struck in college . I returned a frantic call from Alice which led me to her bed in the hospital after coming back to an empty home from hunting. Her death had just became more real. The seizure had left her in coma she would wake after a week promised Alice. Alice was coming back cutting short her five year honeymoon. Rosalie and Emmett were unaware. I had called Carlisle to the hospital though I needed his professional opinion on Anna's health. His words were not what I needed to hear, she would not live long her organs were failing. He didn't ask much but realized she was important and even discussed changing her which was not my choice to make. I could not condemn her soul to hell.
Her family had visited twice in the hospital enquiring about my relationship with her. When she woke up her smile looking at me was filled with pain. After two more weeks in the hospital she was allowed to go home. Esme had invited herself in to nurse her not realizing how many times I had been the one to bathe and clean her whenever she was sick even before the change in our dynamic. Esme's cooking had been a welcome change and Anna for a change enjoyed a mother's care.
It was August when I decided to have a talk with Anna regarding her future. Alice had warned me with a vision which shook me to my core. There was going to be another seizure and this time she would not wake up.
I asked Anna if she loved me. Her reply was Yes . Before I could say anything else she added she didn't want to live anymore, it was painful to live and she was ready to give up now. She said 'I Know you are not normal, not human. Something else is at play, You think I had not noticed how you never get tired, how you are never asleep , how you never eat. how you have not changed even a little after five years I think I know what you are offering but I don't want it. I love you you know, more than anyone I can think of, but there is something not right about our love , something is missing something pivotal and I would not like to have my heart broken. Even though I am not love of your life you were always the love of mine. '
Her words were followed by her tears and she had never looked as beautiful as she did that day. She said chuckling 'Maybe in the next birth we would be perfect.' The next three weeks were spent loving each other and showing the love which way we could.
On September 3rd her last coherent thought entered my mind I Love You as I caught her falling from stairs. She would never wake up again that I knew. Her family had been present till her mortal body was alive. They pulled the plug on 17 December, With her final breath I was fractured in pieces.
My family had to carry me out of the hospital as I turned into a stone. The pain was unbearable and I could not comprehend things around me. The day of her funeral Alice broke me from the trance, it was the last opportunity for me to look at Anna's lovely face. As she was lowered in the ground It started to rain reminding me of our first kiss and I remembered her words there was something missing between us.
The next year I took a break and tried to recover from my broken heart, Yes It was not the traditional love but It was a mark on my heart that would never go. A mark named Anna.