"They saw many men on foot, all starving." The translator said.
"He met them?" Asked Carlton Johnson, the brother of Marlton Johnson.
The Eskimo Guy, whose name was Eskimo Guy, then spoke in his native language. They were in his tent.
"We saw a captain there. Not Captain Crunch, the cereal guy, but a captain. The one called Aglooka." He translated.
Carlton then brought out something.
It was fanart of Ahsoka Tano.
"Shit!" He said, quickly taking the fanart back."Sorry, sorry...anyway, I wanted to show you this."
He brought out a picture of King Sombra, Takeo Masaki, Wilhuff Tarkin, and his brother, Marlton Johnson.
"Ask him if anyone of these men is the one he's calling Aglooka."
Eskimo Guy then looked at the pictures. He spoke again.
"He wants to know how much that fanart costs."
Carlton sighed."Are any of these men Aglooka?"
Eskimo Guy pointed at the picture of Ultimis Takeo Masaki, speaking again.
"He spoke in our tongue. He was dying. Also, he was really thirsty and wanted some Kool-Aid." The Translator said.
"You guys have Kool-Aid?" Carlton asked, surprised.
Eskimo Guy continued speaking.
"He pointed south. Says they were going overland. Home. But they could barely walk. And they couldn't find a Mcdonalds near them. And Tuunbaq was following them."
"Tuunbaq?" Carlton said, confused.
"Tuunbaq was behind them, coming. Always coming."
"Somone was pursuing them? An Eskimo?"
"From the Shamans," The translator continued."The thing that eats on two legs and four. The thing made of muscles...and spells."
"I don't understand. Is he describing a man?" Carlton questioned.
"I don't know. You don't pay me enough for this." The translator said.
"What did Takeo say?" Carlton asked."Aglooka." He pointed at the picture.
"Your friend took my hands." The translator said."He said, 'Tell those who come after us not to stay'. The ships are gone. And so is the Pepsi. There's no way through. No passage. Tell them we are gone. Dead...and gone'."
Four years earlier.
The ships went through the chunks of ice on the water.
Wilhuff Tarkin, Grand Moff of the Empire, was used to the cold. He had been sent by Emperor Palpatine himself to find this new land for the Empire to conquer. And that meant he had to work with other universes.
The old man walked through the ship, Erebus, people bowing their heads to him.
He walked over to King Sombra, a pony that had tried to conquer the Crystal Empire. He was looking at a compass that was not working. In fact, it was Jack Sparrow's compass.
"Daily observations are starting to make for...uh..." Sombra had no idea how to sail.
"Horror is signaling, Governor." Said a crewmember."Captain Masaki requests an ice report." He looked at the Grand Moff."Shall I text them what's going?" He asked, bringing out his iPhone.
Grand Moff Tarkin shook his head."No. Tell Masaki, Sombra and I will be joining him for dinner." Tarkin said.
"Of all the hardships of the Discovery Service, this may be the toughest." Ultimis Captain Takeo Masaki said as he got into uniform, preparing to go to dinner.
An Imperial Officer named Befa was in the room with him."It's three courses tonight and desert, Captain." He reminded him."It'll be over before you know it."
"Not if King Sombra is with us." Takeo said, frowning."We'll have to hear his story about how he nearly ruled the Crystal Empire." He sighed."That creature is a fool. He has no honor. At least Nikolai Belinski had some honor. Sombra...he is a monster."
"No offense, sir, but don't you talk about honor and the Emperor a lot?" Befa reminded.
"Aren't you in a universe where Rey somehow became a Skywalker, which was really, really dumb?"
"Fair point."
Wilhuff Tarkin walked up the ladder and the men on the ship saluted him."Welcome aboard, sir." Said Dick Simmons.
"Yeah, welcome aboard, grandpa." Dexter Grif said to the old man.
"Grif!" Yelled Sarge, annoyed."Watch how you talk to your superiors!"
"What, to this guy? Fuck him. I don't know him." Grif said to his sergeant."He's not even from the Halo universe."
"But I do have permission to kill you." Said Tarkin."I suggest you watch yourself before you are thrown overboard." He warned.
"Please throw me overboard." Grif pleaded."The food here is fucking awful!"
"Grif, shut up!" Yelled Sarge."Speaking of food, It's time to eat."
Dennis Reynolds, his friends Mac and Charlie Kelly, and some Halo Spartans who were Leonard L. Church and Lavernius Tucker, were at a table, eating.
"So...anyone catch that game?" Charlie asked with a smile.
Dennis and Mac looked at their friend, confused."What game? We don't have a TV." Said Dennis.
"I was just trying to make a conversation." Charlie shrugged.
"What kind fucking conversation is that?" Mac asked before he continued eating.
They then heard Applejack's dog, Winona, barking but they ignored it.
"I was so close!" Sombra nearly yelled at the fancy dinner table."The Crystal Empire was nearly covered in darkness but then this huge dragon came out of nowhere and stopped me! Luckily, I was able to survive."
All the men at the table were impressed by the story Sombra told them.
All except Takeo. He didn't believe him for a second.
"A good story, Sombra." Tarkin smiled. Even he was impressed that he survived an encounter from a dragon. He then looked at Takeo."Captain Masaki. We have word that the ice is not breaking. But, rest assured, we will still make it."
"Does it piss off anyone the fact that that dog has a higher rank than anyone else?" Asked Church.
"Well, it probably has a higher rank than you because it has better aim." Tucker joked.
"Oh, fuck you, dude." Church said, annoyed before he continued eating.
Charlie Kelly then started coughing a lot."Are you okay, Charlie?" Mac asked.
He suddenly puked blood onto his hand.
"Gross! Said Dennis, disgusted.
Charlie then stopped coughing. He stood up."Wait...I think I'm fine."
He then vomited more blood and fell down.
"What will we do with the sick man?" Sombra asked.
After dinner, they had learned that Charlie had gotten sick. They were now in Takeo's room. They were all sitting down.
"If we cannot save him...perhaps it is better to put an end to his suffering," Takeo suggested.
"I totally agree..." Said Tarkin. Takeo smiled a little, glad Tarkin agreed with him on something."...King Sombra."
What?! Takeo thought, shocked. He didn't even come up with the idea.
"Thank you, Grand Moff." Said Sombra, smiling proudly.
Takeo wanted to kill them both.
The doctor, Primis Edward Richtofen, then came into the room."Mein friends," He smiled."The young, dirty American is stable but I noticed that he has some dark blood in his stool."
"Why were you looking at his stool?" Asked Tarkin.
...
"Do you want me to continue or not?"
"Is it scurvy?" The Eriaduan asked.
"Possibly."
Tarkin thought for a moment."We'll bring him aboard our ship. Our doctor, Marlton Johnson, will look after him." He said, standing up from his chair.
"Be careful." Said Simmons as Tag Greenley and Bink Otauna lowered Charlie down onto the small boat.
The two then dropped him. Charlie hit the small boat hard.
"I'm okay." Charlie said weakly, only for him to puke more blood.
Takeo Masaki walked to the top of the ship and saw the sun."Hey, Takeo," Said Grand Moff Tarkin. The Captain looked at him."Thank you for the food." Tarkin said before walking away.
King Sombra looked at him."Good night, Captain." Sombra said before he followed the Grand Moff. Takeo only frowned.
Sombra walked right next to Tarkin."I don't think I've ever seen him smile. He's never really happy, is he?"
"No. All he cares about is bringing honor and glory to the Emperor. Then again, all I wish to bring glory to my Empire as well." Said Tarkin as they got onto the small boat.
"Ready, all!" Yelled a crewmember, looking at Tarkin, Sombra, and the others row their way back."Ready to let go the bowlines!"
Suddenly, the ship hit something. There was a loud thud and the ship stopped, shaking. Two of the people who had been standing on the sails nearly fell off.
Well, one of them actually did fall off and hit the rail, falling into the water.
"Man overboard starboard side!" Yelled Dash Rendar.
"What did he just say?" Jesse Pinkman asked, looking at Hurley Hugo Reyes.
"I don't know." Hurley shrugged.
They all looked over the rail to try and find him. Finally, they found the young man swimming up.
"Quickly, Indy!" Said George Mac Mchale."Use your whip!"
"I mean, I could do that...but then whip is gonna get all wet and I have to dry it and everything." Indiana Jones said.
"Help!" The young man yelled."I don't know how to swim! Also, It's pretty cold and I want ice cream!"
The young man then drowned.
The crewmember with the sideburns was about to take off his clothes.
"No!" Said a Zayne Carrick."You can't save him! He's gone!"
"I know." The crewmember with the sideburns nodded."I was just gonna go out for a swim."
"Oh." Zayne said, suddenly calm."Okay."
The crewmember with the sideburns then took a nice swim in the water.
"Dude, this is bullshit." Charlie complained as Richtofen and Marlton checked to make sure he was okay."I feel perfectly fine."
Richtofen looked at him."Are you sure?"
Before he could answer, Charlie puked blood all over the floor.
"Okay, I know this looks bad, but I am perfectly fin-"
He puked again.
Marlton Johnson looked away, disgusted.
"The propeller is absolutely stuck." Dash Rendar reported to Tarkin in his room."We think there's some ice blocking it. Tomorrow, we shall send someone to break the ice and we will be able to continue."
"Good." Tarkin nodded."You may leave now."
Once he was gone, Sombra looked at Tarkin."How do you trust him?" He asked."He used to be a smuggler."
"Even scoundrels can have their uses." Tarkin said.
It was nighttime when Takeo Masaki brought out his maps. As he did, he was remembering something from his past.
Flashback.
He was disgusted at what they did to the prisoners of war at the Shi No Numa facility. While they were the enemy, he couldn't believe the Japanese people would use them for experiments for 115.
Inhumane experiments as well.
He would have to write to the Emperor about this.
Present.
"Dude," Charlie said to Marlton, laying on his bed."If I die...please don't cut me open."
"Well...we may need to figure out what killed you," Marlton said, sitting near him.
"Dude...promise me you won't cut me open." Charlie pleaded.
Marlton looked at him for a long moment."If Grand Moff Tarkin orders me and Richtofen to do it, we must do it."
Charlie was silent for a little bit. He gulped."If Grand Moff Tarkin orders it, then I'll do it."
"Well, you won't have much a choice since you'll be dead and everything." Marlton pointed out. He stood up from his chair."You know, I hear that when people are near passing, they say they see something beautiful."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Really, really?"
"Really."
"Wow. Really?"
"I promise you, Charlie, there's nothing to be afraid of."
"Holy fuck, will that dog ever shut up?" Church asked as they heard the dog barking in the distance.
Suddenly, Church noticed something."Did you guys see that?"
"See what?" Asked Tucker.
Church climbed up the tower and saw it."Wake Sarge up!"
Marlton was asleep. Charlie was trying to sleep but all he felt was pain.
He then saw him. A random guy at the end of the bed.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Charlie yelled in fear."A random guy I don't know! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"Charlie!" Marlton said, waking up. He tried to calm him."Charlie, calm down."
"Okay." Charlie said as he then died.
Marlton stared at his dead body."That's...that's not what I meant by calm down."
Marlton knocked on Richtofen's door.
The German scientist sighed."Come in."
Marlton opened the door."I'm, uh, sorry to bother you, sir, but...Charlie Kelly is dead.
"Ja, I know. I heard him screaming, then I didn't." Primis Richtofen said."Cover him and get some rest."
Marlton stood there, deciding if he should tell him. He finally decided."Sir...something happened to him when he was dying. He saw something...someone...a random guy."
"He was hallucinating." Richtofen told him."Now, get some rest."
Marlton stood there, unsure that it was a hallucination. But he nodded."Yes, doctor."
"Is Erbus aware that the ice is not breaking?" Takeo Masaki asked Sarge.
"I think so. I think their propeller got stuck in the ice." Sarge reported.
Takeo sighed."If the Grand Moff does not convene a meeting with the officers, I'll do it myself."
"This suit will be able to help you breathe under the water." Grand Moff Tarkin said to Guy with sideburns who was getting into his scuba gear.
"Right." Said Guy with sideburns. He sat down on the board as the crewmembers held the ropes."Three tugs mean you pull me. Four tugs mean I want a Pepsi." He said to them.
They nodded and put him down into the water.
Marlton brought out some sharp tools to cut open Charlie. He looked at Richtofen who was in the room.
"Are you sure we should do this?" Marlton asked.
"Ja. It's glorious work but someone needs to do it." He said.
Marlton looked at Charlie's body for a long moment.
"Well," Said Richtofen, impatient."We're waiting."
Marlton then started cutting him open.
They lowered Guy with sideburns into the water. Once he was under the water, he heard something.
"Help!" Said a clownfish near him. Guy with sideburns looked at the clownfish."Have you seen my son, Nemo?!" He asked, scared.
...
Guy with sideburns grabbed the clownfish and squished his fish body against the back of the ship. He then used the metal pole he had to break the ice that was in the propeller.
The ice broke and floated away. He looked around the area and saw something.
It was a random guy. And not just some random guy. It was the random guy who had drowned yesterday.
He tugged at the rope a few times, panicking."Pull me up!" He yelled, hyperventilating.
Suddenly, they brought him a Pepsi.
"No, pull me up!" He yelled, tugging the rope three times.
They finally pulled him up and out of the water. Once he took off his helmet, he drank some Pepsi."I broke the ice. The propeller will spin now." He reported to Tarkin and Sombra.
"Is that all?" Sombra asked.
Guy with sideburns was silent for a moment."Yeah. That's all."
Tarkin, Sombra, Takeo and the other officers were in a meeting.
"News is in about Erebus." Tarkin said to them."While she can still make headway under steam, the flagship's efficiency has been compromised."
"How badly compromised?" Takeo asked.
"She can still pull two knots, maybe three with the boiler full up." Said an old officer.
"Half-power, more or less?"
The old officer nodded."Yes."
"As well, we know that the ice ahead is increasing dramatically, both in thickness and amount." Tarkin told them."But we must be nearly in sight of King William Land."Then it isn't but another 200 miles before we can pick up the western charts and draw in this final piece of the once and for all."
Takeo looked away from him for a moment."Our situation is direr than you may understand." He said.
"Well, that's dramatic." Said Sombra, rolling his eyes.
Takeo glared at the pony for a few seconds before he continued."That is not just ice ahead. It is the pack. And you are proposing that we cross it, in September. Even with leads, it could take us weeks of picking our way through it. We may not have weeks."
"What, weeks at most?" Asked Sombra.
"It's colder than last year," Takeo explained.
"What do you propose, Captain Masaki?" Tarkin asked."Wait out winter?"
"Of course not." He said."The exact shape of King Willian Land is unknown. As we discovered with Cornwallis Land, it could be King William Island, with a chance to sail around its eastern shore."
"Yes, but east might add miles. We might not be out this year after all." Tarkin told him.
"But only because Erebus is lame," Takeo said.
"You take that back!" Said Sombra, angry."It's not lame! It's cool!"
"Well, it is pretty cold outside." Simmons joked.
Everyone stared at him.
"I'll, uh...I'll leave," Simmons said, leaving the room.
"I'm just saying we abandon Erebus, put everyone on the Horror, and we can make it out of here alive. We should go for broke." The Japanese captain suggested.
"You mean go for rich?" Asked Grif.
Takeo looked at him, raising an eyebrow."What?"
"Well, that's what this chapter's called..."
Tarkin processed this."We will not abandon Erebus."
"You do not understand, Tarkin. This place wants us dead." He warned.
"Did the spirits tell you that?" Sombra teased, knowing how Takeo talked about
Takeo calmly looked at Sombra across the table."They did."
...
"Your everybody's least favorite character in the Ultimis crew." Sombra taunted.
"You motherfucker!" Takeo swore, bringing out his katana to try and stab him. Sarge and Grif grabbed him, trying to calm him down.
"Enough of this." Tarkin said."Bury your man, Charlie, and we'll be on our way."
"Oh, for fuck sakes!" Said Dennis Reynolds as he, Mac, Church, and Tucker struggled to lower the coffin that had Charlie in it into the hole they had dug. They were on rocky land while their ships waited for them."I didn't think he was this heavy!"
"Wasn't he your friend?" Church asked.
"Yeah...and he was pretty stupid." Mac said.
They dropped the coffin, causing the lid to open."Fuck!" Said Dennis, annoyed. He jumped down into the hole to close the lid. Before he did, he stared at Charlie's corpse for a moment.
"Sorry, buddy." He said, feeling a little sad. He had been a part of the gang.
Dennis quickly got over his sadness and closed the lid.
The Horror had failed to completely break the ice that grew thicker. So, Tarkin sent men out to use pickaxes to break the ice away.
"What the fuck are we even doing?" Grif asked."I mean, we've been doing this for six days and nothing has happened."
"Just shut up and keep hitting the ice." Said Simmons.
Tarkin and Sombra were at the dinner table, eating.
...
"So...did you catch that game?" Sombra asked.
In the morning, Tarkin stopped hearing the creaking from the ship. He got up from his bed, got into his Imperial uniform, and went to the top of the ship to take a look.
Tarkin saw that the ship was now stuck in the ice.
At the Horror, Grif and Simmons also saw that the ships were stuck
"Maybe we'll get lucky and global warming will get rid of the ice." Grif said.
"Yeah...maybe." Simmons agreed.