Alaia Skyhawk: Here's the sub-ep I mentioned a while back. Gaius and Merlin are finally going to have a long talk about certain things :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Music: Merlin Lost ~Piano~ (Merlin OST Cover)

"Whom History Won't Remember" Episode: N/A

~(-)~

Chapter 46: The Old Religion ~Part 1~

That Merlin was troubled about something was clear, but what that would be was less so. For the past five days he had risen from bed as normal, tended to Arthur as normal, and practised with his sword on the third morning as normal. What was not normal was the unusual quiet way he went about it.

No witty remarks or sarcastic observations. No sly replies to reprimands by Arthur, and no smile, not unless they were forced. He'd watched him when he could, catching glimpses of him while doing his rounds, and every time it was clear that something was bothering him.

Gaius sighed to himself as he returned to his chambers, setting down his bag of medicines and heading to the hearth. He'd tried preparing a special meal last night, to cheer Merlin up, but it had been met with nothing by a forced smile and an awkward attempt to act normal... and it was starting to seriously concern him.

The physician set a pot of soup over the fire, moving to the table to begin cutting the loaf of bread he'd bought at the market on his way back. The sky outside was darkening, night drawing in, and soon his ward would return and try once again to convince his mentor that all was fine and normal... But perhaps he was trying more to convince himself.

Soon the food was hot, and Gaius took the pot to the table where he'd set bowls out ready, seating himself so he faced the door and waiting patiently. It was not long before Merlin arrived, his duties finished for the day, and after letting the youth eat his meal, the old man confronted him.

"Merlin, you can't fool me like this. What's wrong?"

The warlock averted his gaze, evasive.

"Nothing."

Gaius didn't waver.

"Don't lie to me. Ever since that druid boy was returned to his people, you've acted like you have a storm hanging over your head. You're making me worry, Merlin. Now tell me."

Merlin winced at those words, but still hesitated. He'd come to a resolve about being prepared if Mordred should return to do harm, that wasn't the problem. The problem was something else entirely that had haunted him since learning of it.

"That druid boy, he said something to me that... well."

Gaius gave him a long look.

"What?"

Merlin sighed, that feeling reflected in his eyes.

"He called me 'Emrys', and said that among his people that was my name. And then when I asked the dragon about it, he said that 'I have many names' and that 'there is much written about me that I have yet to read'." He looked to his mentor, uncertain. "I know it's supposed to be my destiny to protect Arthur, but..."

Gaius had almost choked at those words, at the realisation of what Merlin had been told. He hid his reaction, though, acting calm and supportive.

"To learn that perhaps many people know you are supposed to do that, that there are stories about you, is frightening." He rose to his feet, going to Merlin and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go on, off to bed and get some rest. It's best not to think about it too much. I don't like seeing you so tense."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry."

Merlin got up and went into his room, but despite his words the shadows still hung around him. The warlock had questions, many questions, but was either too afraid to ask or didn't think his mentor could answer them. But for Gaius things were no easier.

As soon as Merlin's door closed, he sank down to sit on the bench where Merlin had been, fear for his ward welling up inside him. How could this have happened? Hadn't he worked to prevent this. To keep Merlin oblivious to the truth of his burden, rather than see him crushed beneath the weight of knowing it. But fate was a fickle thing, and events seemed to have conspired for this to happen... What were the chances that he should choose to save a druid child with the ability to recognise him? A gift it was foretold would be born into a select few with magic, the gift to know Emrys on sight.

Gaius sat there, thinking about the past few days. Merlin was slowly burying himself under uncertainty, and it had to be stopped. With that thought in his mind he left his chambers, striding through the castle until he reached and knocked on a certain door. The occupant of the room should not be asleep yet, or at least the light glimmering under the door indicated he was still awake.

The door opened, Arthur standing there in his nightshirt and frowning a little in confusion.

"What is it, Gaius? Is something wrong?"

The physician bowed his head in apology.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Sire, but perhaps you are aware of how... distracted Merlin has been the past few days."

Arthur's frown deepened, and he invited Gaius into the room with a gesture.

"Well I can't say I didn't notice. He's been like that since the boy left." He sighed. "I tried to tease him this morning, threw a cup at him. He didn't even react, he just stood there. Normally he would have complained."

Gaius felt his concern deepening. For Arthur to be this frank, he must be concerned about Merlin as well. But that was in his favour, because the physician knew what he had to do. Merlin was in his care, and he had to take responsibility and help him find his way through this.

"I've come to ask if you mind me taking him out for a couple of days. There are some herbs I can gather while I do so, that require more experience than his to acquire, and while doing that I hope being out of the castle will get him to speak to me. I've tried here, but he is evasive." He sighed, looking to the prince. "I was aware of the druid boy's presence in Morgana's chambers, before she tried to get him out of Camelot... Merlin was helping her hide him, and approached me to request I treat the boy when the wound on his arm had made him too sick to move."

Arthur stared at him, startled.

"He was? You did?"

Gaius nodded.

"He was the one who helped the boy flee the guards in the courtyard. Apparently he saw an injured child, frightened, alone, and his conscience could not let him stand by and watch. He ended up fleeing into her chambers after becoming cornered, and she chose to shield them both from your father's wrath. However, the experience has left him troubled."

Arthur went quiet, pacing a little in thought, before he took a deep breath and faced Gaius again. Somehow he didn't find it hard to think his servant would impulsively risk himself for a while.

"I can understand his feelings, for I too have had some doubts about what I did, although likely for different reasons... Merlin can bring my breakfast as usual tomorrow, but I'll make other arrangements for the rest of the day and the day after. Having him out of my hair will give me some time to think as well, without his moping getting on my nerves."

Gaius bowed in gratitude, understanding that despite his attempt at levity, space was something Arthur needed right now as well.

"Thank you, Sire. I hope this will help the both of you."

He turned and left the chamber, returning to his rooms with a sense of reprieve. He had hidden certain things from Merlin for far too long, and perhaps now really was the time he needed to hear them.

~(-)~

Merlin fought back a yawn when he came out of his room the next morning, having once again had his sleep disturbed. By nightmares of countless people he didn't know, whispering 'Emrys' over and over and staring at him like they wanted him to do something. He'd jolted awake several times during the night, trying to avoid sleep but always succumbing and finding himself facing the whispers again. Mordred had reacted like he wasn't what he'd expected him to be, had reacted like he'd expected he would be some brave and perfect sorcerer who would lead the way to the return of magic. The idea that others might think that as well, and judge him because he wasn't... Was this what Arthur felt like when he had to hide his fears, and act the way people expected a prince to act? If that was true, then Merlin liked it as little as he knew Arthur did.

Descending the steps from his room his thoughts on that matter were interrupted, by the sight of Gaius packing an obvious travel bag. Seeing it made Merlin frown in confusion, that fact reflected in his voice.

"What are you doing?"

Gaius glanced at him, expression unreadable.

"We are going on an overnight trip. Hurry and take Arthur his breakfast, and then get back here and pack some camping gear. He already knows, so you won't need to make excuses to him. Now hurry up. I'll have your breakfast ready for when you get back"

Merlin remained puzzled.

"But where are we going?"

"You'll find out when we get there."

Gaius pointedly resumed packing his bag, making it clear he wasn't going to utter another word on the matter. Merlin walked out after that, heading to the kitchens and getting Arthur's breakfast, before arriving at the prince's door and entering to find him already awake.

He couldn't help himself, and blurted his thoughts out the moment he saw him.

"Since when did Gaius tell you he wanted to take me out for a couple of days?"

Arthur leaned back in his seat at the table, nonchalant as he answered... Even if he didn't specify that it had been night when this had occured.

"He arranged it with me yesterday. Apparently he has something things he needs to get, and he wanted to take the opportunity to teach you how to do it as well. Probably so he won't have to in future."

Merlin stared at him, before sighing.

"Great, more things I have to sort out besides your mountain of chores." He set the breakfast tray on the table in front of Arthur, and sullenly marched over to the dressing screen. "I'll just get your clothes laid out and I'll go, and I guess I'll see you tomorrow when we get back."

Arthur watched him knowingly for a moment, before then beginning to eat his food.

"Bern will be tending me until you get back... It'll be nice to have a proper servant in here for a change."

He'd expected a sarcastic reaction to that taunt, but Merlin didn't give him anything but a blank stare as he finished what he was doing. The servant then headed for the door, pausing at the threshold only long enough to bid him farewell.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sire."

The door closed with a sense finality, Arthur frowning in concern. He finished his food quickly, and went to stand at one of his windows, watching for when he caught a glimpse of a tall dark horse and a white pony carrying their riders past the gates a short while later.

~(-)~

"Where are we going?"

"Patience, Merlin. I'll tell you when we get there."

Gaius looked sidelong to his ward, who by fact of riding a horse and not a pony was seated higher than him. He would hold his silence on this matter until they arrived at their destination. At a place that the king didn't know even existed. There, everything would be explained.

~(-)~

Alaia Skyhawk: Hehe, you'll find out where he'd taking him in the next chapter :)