Chapter 16 - Dream

"Kurt?" Slowly I opened my eyes. My room was tidy again – I wondered how Scott had managed to get up without me noticing and what had possessed him to do any kind of household chore.

"Kurt?" Wait a second. That wasn't Scott's voice… My head flashed round like lightening and when I saw the figure sitting on my bed my heart leapt.

"Hello." Blaine smiled and I felt my whole body melt. He was still wearing his Dalton uniform but his hair wasn't gelled so the curls spilled around his head in an uneven fashion. One of his hands was fiddling with the Head Boy badge on his lapel and the other was still stroking my hair. Oh Gaga, he was stroking it. Man that felt so good…

"Did you sleep well?" Turning round to face him properly I accidentally knocked his hand off my head, but he brought it back to skim the skin of my neck and make me shiver with pleasure.

"Yeah." I replied dreamily, staring into those wonderful eyes as they stared back. "But I had the most horrible dream, that you told me you never liked me. That you'd been playing a game the whole time. I'm so glad it wasn't real." Blaine brought his hand up to my face and traced the outline of my lips before he replied.

"Oh, it was real." Suddenly I stopped.

"What?"

"It was all real. You're dreaming right now." I sat more upright, my expression panicked. Blaine didn't seem to notice my concern and brushed his fingers along my jaw line.

"This is the closest you're ever going to get to me. In your dreams." He smiled and I suddenly felt a tear roll down my cheek. I hadn't even realised I'd started crying but all of a sudden I couldn't stop. Blaine was still smiling, a blank emotionless smile, and I realised this wasn't the real Blaine – this was the Blaine I'd conjured up in my brain, the one that I thought cared about me. I watched him wipe a tear dripping from my chin before leaning forward, his lips pursed.

"I never really liked you Kurt. Only in your dreams…"

I sat bolt upright, knocking my computer lead onto the floor with a crash. Luckily Scott had moved my actual computer back onto my desk, so I didn't have any other casualties, but at that point I wouldn't have cared. I could feel tear tracks on my face, so they had been real, but nothing else had. I was alone in my room.

"It was all a dream Kurt…" I mumbled hastily to myself, trying to calm down but not really succeeding. "It was all a dream…" Sitting up properly I heard a crumple as my leg squashed something and I looked down to see a note had been placed beside me on the bed, obviously from Scott.

Hey buddy, I had to go because you were snoring over the football and every guy needs to go to the bathroom at some point. I will be back to check on you in the evening and if you're not showered and changed you are going to be in BIG trouble. I told Gabriel that you really didn't want to talk to anyone right now so hopefully he should stay away, but you will have to speak to him at some point. Stay strong. Scott.

A smile graced my face, How had I been blessed with such a good friend? I don't know what I would have done if Scott hadn't been there to help. Glancing over at my clock again I saw in shock that it read 7:45pm and so jumped up to get ready. My feet banged against some books that had fallen off my desk and I picked them up, also gathering together the discarded clothes.

At first the shower was painful against my sore skin, but gradually I allowed myself to step further into the flow and let the warmth seep through me. Closing my eyes I imagined I was standing in my bathroom at home – Carole would be downstairs making nachos, Dad would be tinkering with our car in the garage, Finn would be watching the football and shoving the first portion of nachos Carole had made into his mouth at lightening speed. Rachel might be downstairs too, thinking about her next solo or pretending to listen to Finn, and Mercedes was always a phone call away. Oh man I missed them. I missed Lima. I wasn't a quitter and knew there was no option for me to return to McKinley anyway – but right now I wished more than anything that I could be standing in our power shower with the silver taps instead of this one.

The sound of the timer beeping jerked me back to reality and I opened my eyes without thinking, making me cry out as the water crashed down and momentarily blinded me. Rubbing furiously at my face I turned the shower off and stepped out to get my clothes.

Somehow I'd managed to get to and from the bathroom without meeting any other Wildeians and I shut my door quickly behind me, slightly cringing at the fact this was very much a good thing. I'd also noticed that the floor had been cleared of broken vase and flowers very swiftly – in fact if it wasn't for the slight water stain on the wooden floor it there would be no evidence that anything had even happened at all. Once inside I picked up a few more things off the floor and felt around for my hairdryer, switching it on and pointing it directly at my face. The warm air was again very soothing and I had to actually remind myself to dry my hair before it did it naturally. When I finally switched it off there was a knock at the door and with perfect timing I opened it to reveal Scott.

"Ah." He looked impressed that I'd actually followed his instructions. Glancing down at his hands I saw he was carrying an array of things, including a stack of DVDs, a huge bottle of Diet Coke and several different packets of crisps.

"I brought supplies!" He said with a grin, lifting his arms so one of the packets nearly fell off. My arm jerked out instinctively making him laugh, and he pushed past me to dump everything on the bed.

"I guess we're watching movies then?" I asked, also grinning.

"Yeah. I brought quite a few so you could choose." Walking over to the bed I looked over Scott's shoulder and glanced at the DVDs he'd brought. My nose scrunched up in disappointment.

"Action movies?" Scott turned around and shot me a sarcastic look.

"You really want to sit through one of those lovey-dovey rom-coms you and Blaine love so much?" He had a point. Not bothering to look at any of the titles I randomly stabbed my finger at one and Scott picked it up, nodding in approval.

"Die Hard. Good choice." Once again grabbing my laptop like we had joint ownership he inserted the DVD and chucked a packet of crisps in my direction, laughing as I flailed to catch it.

"Enjoy."

The rest of the evening was spent watching guys get blown apart in the grossest and most overly dramatic ways possible and eating so much rubbish I thought my insides were going to explode. Unlike Blaine, Scott didn't bother to tell me intricate details about the plot, but he did shout loudly and clap when any really cool explosions happened, or a 'hot girl' appeared on the screen. It was the most heterosexual night I had ever experienced. But I had fun.

The next day was also filled with Scott-related laughs – this time from the incredibly stupid racing game he brought to show me on his laptop (oh, he actually had one, wow) that I still, no matter how many times I practiced, totally sucked at. I was also invited back to room nineteen to meet the newest Wilde recruit – Artem's new roommate Stefan. Also from Europe, with a slightly different but equally strong accent, the two had hit it off almost immediately and I felt a burst of pride surge through me when Artem introduced his new buddy to Vogue magazine for the first time. Getting through the days with such good friends in the comfort of Wilde was never going to be a problem. The test would come when I was forced to exit the safety of my house building and begin lessons again.

Monday.

I had been dreading it. Obviously Blaine and I had no lessons together, and I wasn't going to be stupid enough to walk anywhere near the senior common room, but there was no guarantee I wouldn't see him. Monday also signalled the point where I couldn't ignore or hide from Gabriel anymore. I had to talk to him and I had to make things clear. As soon as I had stepped out of my door in the early hours of the morning he had been there, his expression still holding that sickening puppy dog look that had me feeling like the Grinch.

"Hey Kurt, are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, heaps, thanks. I have to go to class now but I'll talk to you later ok?" Great start.

Now I was sitting in Spanish, having worked my way through a relatively pain-free Trig lesson that had mainly been spent watching Scott and Conners exchange barbed comments. A couple of the Wordsworth boys were looking at me funny – I'd noticed it out of the corner of my eye as I sat quietly mumbling verbs to myself, but I suppose that was to be expected.

"Hey, Kurt, do you know what's up with Blaine?" Glancing up from my book I saw Jimmy Filan, a boy I'd spoken to a couple of times, swinging back on his chair to whisper to me while Miss Breamhold had her back turned to the class.

"He's been mad with everyone recently, cutting our shower time and everything. Has he said anything to you?"

"Back off Filan." Suddenly Scott's voice hissed out into the conversation, the severity of his tone taking me by surprise.

"Scott." I said warily, placing my hand lightly on his to show it was ok before turning back to Jimmy. "Blaine and I aren't really talking anymore because we had a fight. I'm not sure if that's the reason, but it could be that."

"Oh, ok. Thanks." Jimmy turned back to his work and I shot Scott another look. It was nice he was being protective, but I was going to have to face up to it sometime.

Wow. Wasn't I being grown up.

At the end of Spanish Scott was back to his old self, telling me a story about how he'd managed to get a paperclip stuck in his ear when he was seven (even now the things he told me still took me by surprise). We walked out into the corridor laughing when I was suddenly met with the sight of Gabriel, who had been standing outside our classroom waiting for us to finish. He'd been waiting.

"Hey Kurt!" He said again, in exactly the same tone I'd heard this morning, I looked briefly at Scott, who shot me a 'talk to him' look before swiftly exiting the area, leaving us alone.

"Hi Gabriel." For a second we both stood there in silence, me wondering how to start, before we both started speaking at the same time.

"Oh, you go first." Gabriel said, blushing a light crimson colour that reminded me of our date. And that kiss…

"I think we should go somewhere a bit quieter to talk about this." Moving quickly to avoid many people seeing us I grabbed hold of Gabriel's shoulder and began to push him down the corridor towards a more secluded area. My brain had begun to run through the rejection possibilities so I wasn't concentrating and as we turned the corner I nearly crashed into a group of seniors walking the other way. Seniors…

My eyes immediately flashed up. He was there. For a second Blaine and I locked eye contact, our stares boring into each other with an intensity that almost had me inhaling sharply. Then I watched the hazel eyes move to look at my hand, then Gabriel. Blaine's eyebrows furrowed and he turned to talk to one of his friends, completely ignoring both of us. My heart sank.

"Kurt?" As the sound of footsteps died away behind me I turned back to Gabriel, who now looked concerned again. "Ignore Blaine. He's an ass." Normally to hear such words from such a boy would have surprised me, but I had run out of energy to care. I'd been so happy yesterday. I thought I was fine, I thought I could cope without having Blaine in my life. But seeing that face, those eyes, those lips again – it brought it all back.

"I have to go." Without even waiting for a response I stalked off down the corridor, fighting against the tears that once again pricked against my eyelids.