Alaia Skyhawk: This is a big moment for Merlin, the start of his path in coming to terms with who he is. It's going to be a long road until he completely accepts it, but he's taking the first step.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Music: Merlin Lost ~Piano~ (Merlin OST Cover)

"Whom History Won't Remember" Episode: N/A

~(-)~

Chapter 48: The Old Religion ~Part 3~

His hand traced along the wall, fingers catching on the carven letters etched there. One-by-one he followed the panels of text along it, reading each and every variation of the prophecy recorded here.

Merlin stopped, eyes resting on one of the pictures among the writing. It showed a man with a crown, stood before a throne and surrounded by adoring people, yet to the side of that image stood another man with a staff, rays or light, or maybe magic, radiating out from him to hold a swarm of dark shadows at bay, keeping them away from Once and Future King. One showed peace for Arthur, while the other showed suffering and hardship for his protector. For him.

He turned and slumped against the wall, letting himself slide down to sit at its base, staring out across the chamber at the glowing blue patterns that lit it. So many seers and prophets had foretold his and Arthur's coming, and reading some of the foretellings had revealed the Great Purge was also warned of, even if knowing it was could only come in hindsight. The prophecies didn't say exactly what he would face, just that there would be hardship. Suffering and happiness, sorrow and joy. He would face victories and tragedy both, and all for the sake of one thing. Making sure Arthur lived to fulfil his destiny, to found the great Kingdom of Albion and return magic to the land.

Merlin wrapped his arms around himself, fighting the urge to shiver. For the first time knowing that it was his 'destiny' to protect Arthur, scared him, really scared him. Before now, it hadn't seemed that bad. Stay by Arthur, and save him when something tried to hurt him. But knowing that whole swathes of the magical community, those that knew the prophecies anyway, were waiting for him to succeed in his path and bring magic back to the land. He felt very, very small in the face of it.

What if he failed them? What if he failed Arthur?

Merlin bit his lip in uncertainty, sitting there in the chill of the cavern. The prophecies had also mentioned there would be some with magic who would 'know him' as soon as they saw him, and it didn't take much to realise Mordred was one of those. Had that other druid he'd met, Nellan, known him for what he was? But then, if he had then why ask him if he wanted to train to be a High Priest? To do that would have meant leaving Camelot, betraying destiny, so no he probably hadn't.

But Mordred, he had looked at him in that strange way, and for some reason it seemed so familiar. He'd been looked at that way before, a long time ago, but when? By who? It wasn't anyone from Ealdor, it had been someone he'd met, out in the woods.

Merlin raised his head, realising where he'd seen it. That young sorcerer, the one who'd almost accidentally shot him with a bow. The one that had told him that magic used for the right reasons was nothing to be ashamed of. What was it he'd said? He'd looked at him in as though seeing through him, just before he'd said it.

'I want to show the world what magic truly means and what it's really meant for. You never know, maybe you can help with that some day.'

'Some people are destined for great things, while others' destinies are only small... But even so, those with small destinies can still make a difference.'

Merlin seemed to deflate almost as he realised it, tension bleeding out of him, and finally he understood what that boy had meant all those years ago. He was certain of it, that sorcerer had been one of the ones who could see him, and that boy had chosen to leave a very important message in those words for when this day came. The day he learned the truth.

That he trusted him, and placed his faith in him. That he would put his future in the hands of the then nine-year-old Merlin, and then walk away believing he would be fine. The 'small destiny' he'd spoken of was not Merlin's fate as he'd assumed... The young sorcerer had been talking about himself, about how maybe his words would make a difference someday.

Merlin got to his feet and started down the spiral walkway, heading out of the cavern to the tunnel beyond. Yes, he was afraid of failing, of disappointing the hopes of those waiting for him to succeed. But at least one of them had complete faith in him, and for now that was enough. Besides, Gaius believed in him too.

The glowing pattern on the tunnel wall faded to darkness when he passed beyond the columns, forcing him to put a hand on the wall to find the rest of the way out. It was dark outside, the walls of the canyon lit by a camp-fire below, Gaius sitting there waiting for him.

He descended to him and sat himself near the fire, the physician watching him and trying to gauge what his ward was thinking.

"Merlin? Are you all right?"

The warlock let out a long sigh, nodding.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared by all this, but it doesn't change anything." He looked at Gaius, giving his mentor a wane smile. "I'm going to keep doing my best to protect Arthur anyway, whether people have prophecies about me or not. Maybe I am Emrys, but it's just a name. I can't let it change me into what those people expect me to be, or to act like. I am the way I am, and the only one with the right to decide what that is, is me."

Gaius nodded, regarding Merlin with obvious pride.

"I'll admit there are times when I wonder how you could possibly be the one. Namely when you do something stupid... But then I'll hear you say things I would never expect, and I marvel at your insight. What you lack in experience, you make up for with an innate wisdom that cannot be taught. I have seen that wisdom changing Arthur for the better, just as his strong sense of justice has been changing you and strengthening your resolve to protect him."

Merlin snorted and spoke with a hint of irony.

"Well I feel the same way about Arthur. There are times when I can see the great king he'll become, and then within the blink of an eye he's a prat again." He smiled. "And what about you? You've told me bit about yourself. Will you tell me the rest about back then?"

Gaius, after a pause, answered.

"As I said, I was Camelot's representative and liaison. I was appointed to the position twenty-five years ago, at the same time I became Court Physician after I saved Uther's life."

Merlin got up and moved closer, sitting on the rock beside the man.

"You saved him? From what?"

Gaius added a few more sticks to the fire, explaining as he did so.

"He has an old wound on his shoulder, the one I still give him medicine for to dull the pain. He sustained it at a battle on Camelot's northern border, in a fight with King Bayard's men after they attempted an invasion. He wasn't much older than Arthur then, just by a handful of years. New to the throne, brash and brave, he insisted on being on the front lines... And then, in the heat of one such battle, he was hit by a poisoned arrow."

Merlin's eyebrows went up.

"He was poisoned?"

Gaius nodded.

"A terrible substance, created not to kill outright but rather to make wounds rot and fester. The effect was extremely demoralising, and that was the point. Many men had to have limbs removed to stop the taint from their wounds spreading, and when Uther was struck, his condition had to be hidden lest the news cause the defence to collapse in despair."

"And you saved him?"

"As I said, he was new to the throne, and as yet had not picked a Court Physician." He shook his head a little. "Don't get me wrong, he had several who had all come to the kingdom to vie for the position, but none of them had been able to contrive an antidote to the poison Bayard's men were using. None of them had the means to save his life."

Merlin was starting to look impressed.

"But you did."

Gaius' tone was ironic.

"I was the only physician in the kingdom who hadn't been competing to be chosen, called to his side as a desperate final act by the commander of his knights. I entered the tent where he was being treated, with naught but a small bag of herbs and equipment, and the other physicians just shook their heads like he was doomed." He snorted. "While I've never openly said as such, you know by now that I was once a sorcerer. I slaved over Uther for three days and nights, without sleep or rest of any kind. My spells kept his infection restrained, while others I used let me figure out the components of the poison and formulate a cure for it."

Merlin's growing admiration changed to shock, and he practically gaped in surprise.

"You used magic to save him?"

Gaius sighed, remembering.

"He was a different man back then, Merlin. Of all the physicians in the kingdom at that time, I was the only one at that battlefield that had studied magic, and my magic was what saved him and rendered Bayard's poison useless. His men stopped using it shortly after that, when it became apparent it was pointless to continue with it. It turned the tide of the conflict, and the invasion failed. In recognition of both saving his life and enabling that victory, Uther offered me the role of Court Physician as my reward, in addition to vowing he would consider me a trusted advisor. And while I had not specifically sought the position, I wasn't fool enough to refuse the opportunity. It was the beginning of our friendship."

Merlin started to frown, staring into their camp-fire.

"If he used to admire magic so much, what made him change his mind? Why turn on it when magic was what led to you two becoming friends?"

Gaius went quiet, also looking into the flames before giving Merlin a glance that warned him not to press on this subject.

"That's not for me to say, just that there are reasons he hardened his heart and turned against it. He spared me in light of my services to him, in return for my vow that I abandon all practice of magic. And I never used it again." He placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Not until I needed it to save you."

Merlin stared at him.

"When was that?"

"When you were poisoned. Magic was used to make the toxin stronger, so magic had to be used to do the same for the antidote. It was the first spell I'd cast in twenty years... I've dabbled once or twice since then, but my powers are but a shadow of what they once were. Not that I was ever particularly strong."

Merlin started to smile slyly.

"You've been using magic? For what, other than that cure and the light in the cave?"

Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"Purging your errant enchantment from the broom in my chambers for a start." Merlin winced at that, Gaius' tone reproving. "Don't get any ideas. My occasional use of it to clear up your messes, is not a licence for you to be careless with your powers. I use it now, only when I must, for your sake." He sighed. "I promised your mother I would keep you safe, but at the same time I have also promised myself that I will help you face your destiny. You are not alone, Merlin."

At those words, Merlin reached out an arm and hugged him, glad of the support.

"Thanks, Gaius. For everything."

Gaius returned it, not letting go.

"Emrys or not, you mean the world to me, Merlin. There was a time I was fearful of your powers, but then I came to realise that despite having possessed them all your life, you've never succumbed to the temptations of them. You are still and always will be an honest and caring man, with a pure heart. I know you will make me proud, and I could never ask for more."

Merlin felt a sense of peace at those words, his mind letting go of the worries of the past few days. Everything would be all right, so long as he had Gaius to advise him.

~(-)~

The two of them rode back into Camelot the next day, coming up the main road through the town and towards the castle. Merlin was smiling, having said something to the elderly physician on the pony alongside him, the both of them starting to laugh at whatever it was.

Arthur watched them from the battlements close to the main gate, gazing down at them when they passed through the outer gate and rode around the side of the inner walls to the stables. Whatever talk Gaius has had with his ward, Merlin was clearly feeling better for having had it.

And he was glad.

Arthur sighed to himself, a small smile on his face. He knew he felt better for having had his talk with Morgana. Yes, he regretted betraying his father and lying to him about the boy, but he did not regret saving him. There can never be regret for saving a young and innocent life.

He walked away from the battlements, slowly making his way inside and across the castle to the tower where Gaius' chambers lay. He took his time, in no real hurry, and as a result he arrived there right on the heels of the two returning men.

They were just setting about emptying their bags when he appeared in the doorway, his voice making them turn.

"I trust the trip went well. Did you find the things you were looking for, Gaius?"

The physician gave him a long look, and answered.

"I did indeed. I return here to Camelot, having achieved all that I set out to do."

Arthur understood what was meant by that, and now turned his attention to Merlin.

"I'll expect you arrive on time tomorrow, Merlin. This little field trip you've been on is no excuse to sleep in. I'll see you in the morning."

He turned and left before a suddenly indignant Merlin could reply to that, the warlock instead turning to Gaius and letting out an exasperated sigh.

"See what I mean? He has his moments, when you can believe he's the Once and Future King, and then he decides to be an ass."

Gaius chuckled at that, replying with a small smile.

"You should give him more credit, Merlin. He acts like he did just there because he won't admit openly that he respects and values you... And that he worries about you sometimes. He was as concerned by your uncharacteristic behaviour lately as I was."

Merlin snorted, piling his dirty travel clothing into the laundry basket near the door.

"And that's what makes him an ass. He seems to think I'll tease him if he's honest with me for once."

Gaius chuckled again, amused.

"I can't say I blame him, 'Emrys'."

Merlin picked up a rag from a nearby table and threw it at his mentor, Gaius catching it before both of them started laughing. Things were back to normal again, or at least as normal as things would ever get with Merlin involved.

~(-)~

Alaia Skyhawk: (Grins) I love writing stuff like this. Merlin finding out the truth about the prophecies will be key to his later mental conflicts. The times when his destiny clashes with his own dreams, and he's forced to chose which he will follow. I know I'll be bawling my eyes out when it comes to writing a certain significant episode from season 2.