Chapter 15
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Diary of a Call Girl.
There is M/M action in this chapter, don't like it don't read.
He and Severus were in the middle of their first every argument, he had called to say that he would be home late and from there everything had kicked off. When he did get home, Severus was waiting up for him and he had, had a little too much to drink. It all boiled down to that bottle of scotch and their mutual tempers. Harry had come in to greet the older man with a kiss, but when he had leaned in to kiss him, Severus pulled away. Harry shrugged it off the first time and had tried again, only to receive the same cold reaction.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked confused.
"Where were you?" Severus asked coldly.
"Are you serious? I called and told you exactly where I was at. I was with Ginny!"
"Were you with Ginny or was it one of your clients?" Severus said accusatorily.
"Wait, you're serious? I fucking quit and you know it! I burned the fucking phone and everything!"
"How much did you make tonight then?"
"What the fuck!?" Harry shouted.
"You're always out with Draco or Ginny," Severus slurred. "Is that code for something?"
"Are you fucking serious? I quit escorting and now you're jealous? As if I would lie about quitting."
"How would I know?"
"You're drunk."
"And you're a whore," Severus said, his obsidian eyes burning darkly.
The argument only escalated from there. The two of them shouting at each other for hours and came to an end when Harry picked up the bottles of liquor in Severus' liquor cabinet and flung them as hard as he could against the wall. That's when Severus told him to get out, that he had no need for a whore. Harry told him to get stuffed and stormed out of the house, but not before throwing his keys at Severus.
He didn't know where he was going as he stormed out onto the pavement in front of the house, but he would be damned if he would stick around to be treated the way that he was. He hadn't even bothered to pack a bag or grab a coat. Instead, he found himself storming off down the street towards the Malfoy house.
"What the fuck!?" He yelled loudly and it echoed down the street in front of him and a few bedroom lights came on.
Not long after he found himself standing in front of the Malfoy house fuming. He stormed up the steps and knocked harshly on the front door. It was a long while before anyone came to the door. He was beating on the door for the third time when a member of the house staff pulled it open mid knock.
"Mr. Potter? Can I help you?" The man asked sleepily.
"Is Draco around?"
"Mr. Malfoy is out tonight, I'm afraid."
"Of course he fucking is," Harry said running a hand through his hair with frustration.
"I'm sorry sir, can I help you with anything?"
"No, it's fine," Harry shook his head.
He pulled out his phone and attempted to ring Draco, but every time it went to voicemail instead. Trust that when he really needed Draco he had no clue where to find him. Even more frustrated and a little bit hurt at Severus' words, okay a lot hurt, he slammed his phone against the pavement harshly. He kicked the remains against the nearest wall and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He couldn't believe any of this was happening, he didn't understand what had overcome Severus or why. The one time he trusted his heart with another person and this was what happened.
"Fuck it!" He yelled at the empty street. "What the fuck!?"
Part of him knew that he should stick around until morning to try to make amends with Severus or at least talk to him, but there was a part of him that wanted to run. In the end the part that felt the urge to run won. He found a cab and asked the driver to take him to Kings Cross. He was going to Glasgow two days early. He could have flown, but he wanted the time to himself on the train, and chances are the train would leave before he could change his mind. He bought a ticket at the counter and sat alone in the terminal waiting for his boarding time. This was when the anger started to recede and he began to feel the sorrow over take him. When the tears hot tears started to stream down his cheeks, and he could feel the dull ache in his chest.
"What the fuck?" He whispered, pulling his knees close to his chest.
An hour and a good cry later he was sat on a train headed for Glasgow. The compartment was almost empty, except for an older couple who were sitting near the front. He was glad for the little bit of privacy, because the last thing that he wanted was anyone asking what was wrong. He didn't thing he could say it without crying. He couldn't even begin to fathom what had happened with Severus. What was happening? He had only stayed out late a few times since he had moved in and every time he had called Severus to let him know. There hadn't even been any problems between the two of them, that was the thing this all came out of nowhere. If Severus didn't want him to stay out all he had to do was say, he might not agree every time but at least there could have been some sort of dialogue about it.
He still couldn't believe that the man had called him a whore and told him to leave. After everything, he had just blew up in this drunken rage, and Harry couldn't understand it. He was sort of lost in a daze of shock and dismay over it. He was fairly certain that the man hadn't meant it, but that didn't stop it from hurting any less. There was a permanent ache in his chest at the moment and he couldn't make it stop.
This all made him lose the confidence that he had gained. He thought things were going so well. It made him lose confidence in his ability to be a boyfriend, he had never been one before, not a real one anyways. This had been the only relationship that he had been invested in whole heartedly, the only one he had ever been serious about. Maybe he didn't come off as serious enough, he just couldn't figure it out. He found himself thinking that maybe the boyfriend experience that so many clients adored, was the only sort of boyfriend he was good at being. After all his past relationships had all ended almost as quickly as his experiences with clients. It always started out great and exciting, but always fizzled quickly when one person had grown bored and ended up sleeping with someone else.
Maybe their relationship had been rushed, maybe they should have slowed down, maybe he shouldn't have moved in so quickly. Was it because he had said 'I love you' so quickly?
They hadn't slept together since the first time and the last time that Harry had tried, the man had turned him down. Sure, he was injured, but there were ways around that. The 'I love yous' had come almost less than the sex, on both of their parts. Maybe he hadn't said it enough. Perhaps, they had both allowed things to collapse. Maybe, he had been partially responsible for the doubt that Severus had demonstrated, but that did not excuse Severus' actions. Why couldn't they have just talked about it? Instead, Severus had gotten drunk and accused him of being a whore and told him to leave.
"Harry!?" Hermione asked in surprised when she pulled the door open. "What's happened?"
"Can I come in first?" He shivered lightly in the morning air.
"Yes, I'm sorry," she smiled ushering him inside.
"Thank you," he smiled weakly.
"What's happened?" She asked again, busying herself putting the kettle on.
"It's nothing," he assured her.
"You look as though you've been crying," she said pulling him into a hug. "Now tell me."
"It's nothing Mione, leave it."
"It's not nothing," she insisted. "You just don't get on a train and show up two days early without even calling, when it's nothing."
"Just a bit of a lovers quarrel, besides I couldn't call, broke me phone," he grinned sheepishly. "I hope that it's alright."
"Of course it is, you can stay in Ron's room."
"Speaking of Ron, promise me you won't tell him I've been fighting with Severus. He already hates him enough."
"My lips are sealed," she smiled caringly.
Ron and Hermione lived in a shared house just off campus with four other housemates. He vaguely knew a few of them from school, but he hadn't met the others and he hoped that they didn't mind him staying. He hadn't even thought about them, coming here was a selfish decision. He just knew that he couldn't go back in and face Severus and Draco was missing in action. Maybe the time apart would be good for them in the end.
Ron's room was very similar to the one he had at The Burrow, and what you might expect of any boy in university. Clothes littered the floor and various posters from sports teams covered the wall. Books and papers messily covered a desk in the corner and Ron's soccer kit hung loosely over the back of the chair. He briefly wondered if there was something wrong with him that he hadn't wanted this. That was all idly forgotten when he noticed the large bed in the center of the room. Seeing the bed made him exhausted, but instead of crawling into it he opted for a shower. He smelled of cigarettes and teen angst. He stripped down to his boxers and padded into the bathroom.
As the warm jets of the shower hit him he briefly wondered if Severus had tried to call him yet, if he had even taken his absence into account. Then he thought he deserved to wonder where he was, not that it would be that complex a puzzle to solve. Or if he even cared if he was gone, he had told him to leave after all. Then it hit him that they might not actually be together anymore. That Severus might actually no longer want him. That if this was all true, their relationship had fizzed almost as quickly as it had begun and with the same amount of notice. That's when the tears came again.
"What the fuck?" He asked for the millionth time that night. He had never had someone to cry over before, no one had ever given him a reason.
After his shower, and cry, he tiredly climbed into Ron's empty bed wearing only his boxers. He didn't have any clean clothes with him, but he was sure that Ron had something he could borrow surely. He was glad to have a little alone time before seeing Ron. Hermione had of course offered to skip classes to be there for him, but he had told her not to worry that he would be here when classes were finished. He told her not to fall behind just because of him, and he intended to catch up on some sleep. The bed offered him some comfort that he had been aching for through the night. It's warm embrace offered him the security he needed. Exhaustion made itself known and he drifted off into a restless sleep.
When he came to, hours later, he was completely shocked to find Severus sitting at the foot of the bed in Ron's desk chair. The man was looking at him, but not really, he deep in some train of thought known only to himself. Harry wasn't sure what to do with this situation and instead opted not to say anything. He stared the older man down before Severus finally spoke.
"You talk in your sleep," Severus said and Harry stared at him quizzically. "I trust from your silence that you are not speaking to me."
"Why should I?"
"I know I am an ass, an ass of catastrophic proportions."
"You made me feel like complete shit, you told me to leave! Like you just didn't want me anymore!" Harry said vehemently.
"Trust me, Harry I always want you."
"Than why do it? Why do that?!" Harry demanded. "What brought this on? Do you think so little of me?"
"Quite the opposite. I think so little of myself."
"Why? I love you! I thought that I had made that clear," Harry asked, as the tears began flowing again. "You can't just give me this it's me, not you, bullshit!"
"You could tell me you love me everyday that you loved me and some part of me would find some way to doubt it. The way I acted was out of fear, that if I pushed you away instead of the opposite I would be able to believe it."
"Why?" Harry asked again.
"I am not a kind man, people dislike me. No one has ever loved me. I'm not attractive, the list could go on for days," Severus said factually.
"I love you! Why don't you believe that?"
"I love you too, but you must understand that you are too good for me, and you always will be."
"Do you think that I would be with you if I didn't want to be?" Harry asked frustrated. "I don't need your money or your status. I'm a secret millionaire and I find that status comes with money."
"Perhaps, you just feel sorry for me."
"I'm not that kind of person. People paid me for sex, I don't feel sorry for anyone, at least not in regard to romance," Harry said harshly. "I love you! I have never loved anyone in my entire life and there you were at that party. Everything changed when I met you, it was destined to be."
"I'm not sure I believe in destiny."
"Well you should."
"Men paid hundreds of dollars just to have you in their presence for a few hours. Don't you see how desirable you are?"
"Yes, and they would pay any other high end escort the same! That just part of the trade it doesn't measure my worth in any way!" Harry shouted frustrated. "Stop comparing me to Thomas, I'm Harry. Harry isn't an escort. Harry loves Severus!"
"No one has every quite looked at me the way that you look at me. I'm frightened that one morning you might wake up and not look at me that way anymore," Severus said quietly.
"We're all frightened, but that's part of the risk! You're my first love and with any luck I'd like for you to be my last too," Harry sighed. "Why must you question what we have."
"Knowing you has made me question everything," Severus replied softly. "I love you more than I thought was ever possible for one human to love another."
"I love you too, and if you love me you can never say those things to me again," Harry said sincerely.
"I promise that I never will again," Severus assured him.
Harry got up and crossed the room to where Severus was and pulled him up out of the chair he sat in and back to the bed. He kissed him softly and crawled back onto the bed, when Severus didn't follow he pulled himself up on his knees and kissed him again.
"You just can't do this you know," Harry whispered between kisses.
"Do what?" Severus asked kissing him again.
"Follow me in such a fashion when I'm upset and I leave," Harry whispered kissing him again.
"You can't do this either," Severus smiled into the kiss.
"What's that?" Harry asked pulling back to examine the older man's face.
"Leave the country because you are upset with me," Severus said with amusement.
"Touche," Harry grinned pushing Severus' coat down off of his shoulders.
Severus pushed him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He pressed another kiss on his lips and began working his way down Harry's neck pausing to suck, what would later be a hickey, on the spot where Harry's neck and shoulder met. He was so turned on from it all. He could feel his arousal pressing against the thin fabric of his boxer shorts and ached for the man to touch him. He moaned as the man ran his hands over his chest and stomach.
While Severus' mouth made contact with every inch of Harry's skin that it could, Harry's fingers clumsily worked at unbuttoning the man's shirt. The man's hands found Harry's hair and his fingers tangled themselves in his messy locks.
"You are beautiful," Severus whispered in his ear. "And entirely overdressed."
Harry sat up quite suddenly and a scarlet blush painted his cheeks. Severus stared at him quizzically before Harry finally spoke.
"We shouldn't, this is Ron's bed, he'd kill me if he knew!" Harry whispered harshly.
"To hell with that," Severus said kissing him again. "If he finds out I will buy him an entirely new bed if I must."
"We have to be quiet," Harry said seriously.
"We can try," Severus smirked at him.
He overtook Harry again pushing him back into the pillows, kissing him, their tongues exploring the other's mouth. Harry's hand brushed over the front of Severus' pants and he fumbled with the button to gain access. When he finally had the man's pants unbuttoned he pushed them down off of his hips and waited for the man prodded the man to finish the job for him.
"Wait," Harry whispered again, pushing the man away. "We need lube. It's been awhile. I'm practically a virgin," he joked.
He fumbled around in the drawers of the beside table and finally found what he was looking for a small unopened bottle of lube, he hoped that it wouldn't be missed. He handed it to Severus and the man set it aside opting to slide his fingers underneath the waistband of Harry's boxers and slide them down off of his hips and down his legs. He discarded them on the floor and look Harry over.
Harry could see the man's dark, obsidian eyes burning with desire and he longed to feel the man inside of him again. He ran his hand over the fabric of Severus' boxers before finally pulling them down and freeing the man's rock hard cock. His tongue darted out over his lips and his fingers glided over the heated flesh of Severus' arousal. The man was watching him closely. Harry pulled himself up and pushed the man back before taking him into his mouth.
He ran his tongue down the length of Severus and swirled it around the tip when he pulled away. He sucked lightly on the tip causing the man to moan and Harry to shush him. He wasn't sure who was in the house but he didn't fancy being caught by Ron. Severus was impatient though and after a few minutes he pushed Harry back onto the bed and kissed him deeply.
Severus spread the lube on his fingers and made sure they were properly coated before sliding one into Harry. Harry bit his lip to keep from moaning and started to move on the man's finger. He was so hard at this point and was dying for the older man to touch him. He took the older man's free hand and started to pull it towards his aching member but Severus pulled it away and instructed him to wait as he slid a second finger into him and began scissoring them inside of him. Harry was so impatient to feel the man inside of him.
"Severus, please," Harry said hoarsely.
After a few moments the man took the lube once again and coated his hard member with it before sliding it into Harry. Harry moaned a little to loudly and the man took the opportunity to hush him this time. When Severus started to move in him he almost completely came undone and when the man pulled all the way out he frowned at the loss. Severus started with slow thrusts but quickly sped up, leaning down to kiss Harry.
Finally giving Harry's hardened cock the attention it sorely wanted Severus wrapped his slender fingers around Harry's shaft and started stroking in rhythm with his thrusts. Every time the man needed to express a moan he would lean down to kiss Harry and the moan would be muffled as their lips met.
Neither of them lasted very long Severus thrusting into him so fast and hard had been both of their undoing. Every time the man thrust up and hit his prostate Harry thought he was going to completely unravel. Harry came calling out Severus' name and a few thrusts later Severus came into Harry. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Harry's lips.
"Think anyone heard us?" Harry asked with a smile.
"More than likely the entire house," Severus replied and Harry blushed.
"How did you even get in?" Harry asked crawling over to lay his head on the older man's chest.
"Some sniveling boy named Neville, I believe, let me in," Severus said lightly causing Harry to smile.
"Will you stay the night?" Harry asked looking up into the man's eyes.
"No, I plan on returning to London. This is meant to be time with your friends, and you don't need me here to ruin the mood."
"I'll miss you," Harry sighed, snuggling into the man's chest.
"I will miss you too. Do me a favor, yes?"
"What?"
"Get your phone replaced. I do not like to entertain the idea of not being able to speak to you."
A few hours later and Severus was getting dressed to leave and Harry crawled out of bed to get dressed as well. He didn't want Ron or Hermione to catch either of them in here without clothes on. He tripped over nothing as he was sliding his boxers on and Severus let out a soft laugh.
"You are quite clumsy, I hadn't noticed before."
"Yeah," Harry grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, I find it quite endearing."
Once Severus had let himself out Harry straightened out his clothes from the night before, and tried his best to tame his hair, before making his way downstairs to face his friends. He knew there were going to be questions, especially from Hermione after his display this morning. He hoped that she hadn't told Ron like he had made her promise, and that she would be understanding. He took a deep breath and headed down the stairs to where they were most likely waiting, there was no getting around this now.
A/N: I hope you like it. Sorry if the sex was overly awkward but that's what I was trying to go for, also I'm still learning how to write sex scenes so try to bare with me.
Also, thanks again for all the reviews! I'm looking for new Snarry/Drarry to read and if you would all be a dear and leave suggestions for me I'd be eternally grateful. My favorite Snarry at the moment is There's Nothing Else I Can Say by GreenAngel6.