Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, you would have to stay in a land rover and watch Pokémon from afar in the Safari Zone. But I don't!
#576 Gothitelle
Their star maps allowed the ancient Mayans to create accurate calendars. Their lifespan predictions can locate no Trainer who lives to the year 2013.
#577 Solosis
The lipid bilayer surrounding its plasma membrane protects it from harsh conditions. If it grows too large, its surface area/volume ratio will exceed its limit and it will burst.
#578 Duosion
It has lost control of its cyclins and CDKs and entered perpetual mitosis. This cancerous cell can metastasize by spreading its disease to the nearest other organism.
#579 Reuniclus
It can dehydrate its cytoplasm to survive any environmental catastrophe. It was born after manure and human semen were putrefied in a glass vial for forty days.
#580 Ducklett
It is often hunted by rural families who have access to few other protein sources. Due to the pigments in the sphagnum it eats, even its flesh is blue.
#581 Swanna
It is rare due to overhunting for its feathers, which contain valuable growth hormones that affect most eukaryotes. A ballet featuring a Swanna is infamous for its tendency to drive dancers to suicide.
#582 Vanillish
It will melt if removed from the freezing conditions of its habitat. If it melts, it will die.
#583 Vanillite
A sentient ice cream cone born of artificial additives. It seeks to destroy the human race for eating its lifeless comrades.
#584 Vanilluxe
It is served at specialty ice cream parlors for a premium fee. Strangely, the most popular topping purchased is blood sauce.
#585 Deerling
The chlorophyll and carotenoids produced by the moss on its back seep into its body when the season changes. This process is excruciatingly painful.
#586 Sawsbuck
Its body has been found to respond to the injection of phytohormones. Auxins cause it to grow too large to stand up, while ethylene gas causes its body to turn to jelly.
#587 Emolga
Although it is very common, even in urban areas, its nocturnal habits prevent most people from encountering it. It often sneaks into bedrooms at night and absorbs electricity.
#588 Karrablast
The wrench-like horn on its head is used to pry Shelmet prey out of their shells. These horns are sawed off for use by humans, killing their former owners.
#589 Escavalier
It has become imprisoned in its own shell, making it quakingly angry. Although it is slow, it will violently impale anything that comes too close.
#590 Foongus
Its Poké Ball markings provide a fascinating example of the rapid change possible through natural selection. Humans who think they are item balls will pick them up and become their food.
#591 Amoongus
A colony of house-sized Amoongus dwells near a waterfall in North America. Humans have become its exclusive prey.
#592 Frillish
They are active during storms and sea burials. They surround divers at night, making escape from their venomous stings nearly impossible.
#593 Jellicent
It is fond of drinking tea. However, it generally feeds on the souls of dead sailors on damned ships.
#594 Alomomola
It cares deeply for every living thing around it. If even one of its eggs dies, it becomes consumed with despair and kills itself.
#595 Joltik
It is the smallest Pokémon, making it difficult to notice. People usually do not begin to feel infestations on their bodies until it is too late.
#596 Galvantula
It is kept in cages to recharge lithium batteries. However, if it absorbs enough electricity, it will escape its prison and turn on its captors with its powerful jaws.
#597 Ferroseed
A Ferroseed fell from the sky one day and quickly began to colonize the Earth. It smells so foul it is banned in airports.
#598 Ferrothorn
A menacing Pokémon that hovers oddly. It is very attracted to iridium objects.
#599 Klink
They appeared suddenly during the steam age. When enough congregate in an area, they begin to ceaselessly build intricate machines.
#600 Klang
It is excited into spinning faster when exposed to steam. If it is too hot, however, it will melt while screeching harshly.