Alaia Skyhawk: Once again, I'm covering the obvious consequences of certain things in the episode, which it leaves viewers to wonder how Merlin sorted them out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Music: Hunith's Letter To Gaius (Merlin OST)

"Whom History Won't Remember" Episode: N/A

~(-)~

Chapter 52: A Sense of Guilt ~Part 1~

The pale fingers of light reaching in through his window heralded a groan from the young man in the bed. Why must dawn come so soon? Why couldn't he have a lie in for once?

Merlin grudgingly threw back his thin blanket and sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes and wishing that his 'destiny' didn't require him to keep such terrible hours when sneaking around to hide things and not get caught. It had been at least an hour after midnight before he'd gotten back from the lake, and it was now just after the sixth hour. In all, at best he'd gotten about five hours sleep, when the night before that he'd gotten maybe six thanks to that trip to see the dragon.

That thought made him pause, frowning a little as he began to get dressed. The dragon had been angry, more than angry. He'd roared his fury at learning Uther had used the sword, words ice cold when he'd demanded the warlock before him hide the blade where none could find it. It was strange just how much of an affect his anger had had on him. Considering how his trust for the dragon was weak at best, given the creature's general attitude, it was strange to find that knowing his was disappointed in him... hurt. Merlin just couldn't put his finger on why it hurt, hurt like a bone-deep ache in his soul.

When Merlin came down out of his room to get his breakfast, Gaius noticed the troubled glint in his ward's eyes. The mask of cheerful resignation, at the early rise his job required, might hide it from most, but from him it hid nothing. But he kept quiet and didn't raise the subject, letting Merlin head to start his chores after nothing more than the usual morning small talk. The young man would speak of what was on his mind when he was ready, unless he figured it out on his own. Either way, it would only be a day or so before the aftermath of the incident with the wraith would be behind them.

Gaius sighed, setting about gathering his things for his rounds. Combining the sword with Merlin's late-night outing, it didn't take much stretch of the imagination to know that it was the source of what was bothering him. Wherever his ward had gone, he'd returned without the blade, and given that it had been powerful enough to slay something that was already dead, he didn't blame him for hiding it. Such a weapon would be frightening in the best of hands. In the wrong hands it would be terrifying.

He left his chambers, bag in hand, setting those thoughts aside. The usual people in the castle needed the usual medicines, one of the women courtiers was expecting a baby and would need to be checked on again... with her husband fussing around like last time no doubt. By the time he'd finished with that, the council meeting this morning would be just about over.

His morning progressed much as he'd expected, with the addition of background gossip about the Black Knight still in evidence here and there. The courtier's husband did indeed fuss around during her check up, forcing him to ask the man to sit down and be quiet or leave, and true to his estimate it was almost noon when he finished his tasks for the morning.

One thing he didn't expect though, was to cross paths with Gwen close to his chambers.

She came to a halt when she saw him, hesitating a moment before hurrying over.

"Do you know where Merlin would be right now? I have things I have to do this afternoon, so I don't have time to look for him. I went to the training field, expecting him to be there with Arthur, but he wasn't there."

Gaius raised his eyebrows a little.

"Any particular reason you need to speak to him? Perhaps I could give him a message for you."

The maid shook her head.

"Thank you, but I really need to speak to him in person. Do you know where he might be?"

Gaius regarded her for a long moment, wondering if she might somehow be involved with the sword in some way, before deciding that he might as well answer.

"He was moaning last night, about the mess Arthur made of his chambers while he was locked in there yesterday morning. Normally he would have either been in the stables or the armoury by now since he'd not at the field, but chances are he'll still be cleaning things up in there. But you'll have to hurry. You have maybe fifteen minutes, half-an-hour at most before he heads for the kitchens to get Arthur's meal. After that, you'd have to chase him down during his afternoon work, and there's no telling what the prince will set for him today."

Gwen nodded her thanks, giving him a small smile.

"Thanks, Gaius. Morgana wants to go to the market this afternoon, and I didn't want to have to make excuses."

She hurried away, the physician watching her go with a slight frown. Wondering if perhaps he should have kept quiet about his ward's likely location.

~(-)~

The floor that had been littered with objects was now cleared and swept, the bed made and the furniture dusted. A bucket of water and a cloth waited beside the door, destined to aid in the removal of a few splatters of dirt from near the table, but for now the servant who had brought them up here was giving his knees a break from crawling around on the stone.

Merlin's eyebrows knitted together in a frown of concentration, sat at the table as he was, as he removed a damaged leather strap from part of Arthur's armour and proceeding to fasten the replacement in place. Who would think that a single instance of being worn into battle by a man the armour wasn't designed for, would result in so many of the fastenings being damaged in some way.

He sighed, finishing that strap and starting to check the rest. The king was damned lucky he'd been wearing chainmail as well, because if the nicks in the exposed sections of leather were any indication, then he'd have been slashed to ribbons without it. A pity he'd not really watched the fight, being preoccupied with Nimueh as he'd been. If he had, he'd have had some advance warning of the work he had coming his way.

Merlin grimaced at one very long scratch on one of the voiders. That was going to take hours to polish out, and if he didn't then Arthur would complain. He really just couldn't win.

The door opened behind him and he flinched, realising that being sat at the table with his back to it he might appear to be being idle.

"I'm not slacking off, and I'll finish cleaning the floor once I've finished this."

"Merlin?"

He stiffened at the sound of Gwen's voice, having expected it to be Arthur, and felt like a lump of lead had settled in his gut when he turned in his seat to look at her and smile.

"Hi, Gwen. Can I help you with something?"

His cheerfulness sounded forced, and looked forced, and Gwen frowned a little at his clear discomfort at her being there.

"I wanted to ask about the sword. I'd like to put it back before my father finds out it's gone."

The lead turned to ice, ice that froze Merlin in silence for several second before he managed to stammer.

"P-put it back?"

Gwen regarded him as though that should be obvious.

"I think my father would be honoured to know Arthur had his sword, but I still think it might be best to let him decide it for himself." She came a few steps in through the door. "My father will be out late again tonight, so you can bring it once your chores are done for the day."

She turned and left, leaving him sat there feeling dread and guilt. What was he supposed to do now? What could he tell her? He sat there, still frozen to his seat, and then puts his head in his hands... Was Gwen going to become someone else who didn't trust him anymore because of all this?

~(-)~

"Ah, Gaius. You needn't have."

"While you may insist on putting a brave face on for your council, as your physician I know you will be sore by now."

Uther took the mild reprimand in good humour, watching as Gaius looked among his medicines for whichever potion it was he had brought for him. This was something of a routine, from the time when most of his battles were with swords and not words. Battles fought out in the wilds and not in a chamber of men as they were now. The physician had learnt early on that the king didn't like being tended to early in the morning, not unless he was seriously ill, which meant it fell to regularity that he would find Gaius waiting for him in his chambers just before noon. It was a regularity to which Gaius had yet to fail.

Medicines set out, Uther submitted to having his bruises prodded and checked, answering questions about if or not his arm still hurt from the pounding it had gotten through the shield. The resigned way he dealt with his king's dismissing of any pain was also a familiar part of the routine, one to which he promptly turned to measure out a dose to dull the pain that insisted wasn't there.

Yes, there would be no fooling him. He knew him too well.

Uther watched him, this man who was his most trusted confidant, and his thoughts turned back to something the man's ward had said yesterday. Merlin had stated there was a sort of bond between him and Arthur, and that as long as he was his servant he would do his best to keep him safe. It reminded him of younger days, the days when his and Gaius' friendship had just been forming.

Back then, Gaius had shown his loyalty by accepting a role he'd never pursued, accepting becoming Court Physician and being tied down by that ever since. His ward, Merlin, had chosen to show his to his prince by getting Arthur a sword... A very fine sword.

"So how much 'financial assistance' did you give your ward to afford that blade? I will admit to being curious. A sword like that would cost a fortune. Even for a nobleman it would be an expensive sum."

Gaius, who had his back to the king, paused a moment before nonchalantly continuing to pour some liquid into a small cup.

"It was expensive, yes, but then Tom and his daughter are friends of Merlin's. He set a more than reasonable price for the commission." He turned to face the king, a note of humour in his voice. "Certainly a far better deal than the royal swordsmith would have. Although don't tell him I said that."

He handed the cup to the king, while Uther smiled at the remark.

"Friends are a good thing to have. Still, I have to wonder. Would it not be a scandal for me to do so, I dare say I would be tempted to commission a blade from him myself. Indeed, if not for the fact it was already intended as a gift for my son, I might well have kept it." He downed the contents of the cup, seeming distant for a moment. "There was something about it, a sense of strength it gave me while in my grip. I've never wielded a sword its like before."

Gaius once again paused, before shaking his head and intoning flatly.

"I hate to inform you, Sire, but that 'sense of strength' would just have been battle rush. You believed you were going to your death, I believed you were. Many a man has gone into such a situation, faced a moment when they believed they were about to die, and spoken later of suddenly feeling stronger. It's just a quirk of the mind, a survival instinct, nothing more."

Uther nodded, accepting the explanation.

"Perhaps you're right. Still, it was a very fine sword."

He did not notice the odd look Gaius was giving him, nor thought it unusual when the physician quickly packed away his things. Gaius bid him good day, and informed him he would be checking on him again tomorrow, and to that Uther had accepted in resignation.

Gaius left him after that, his polite façade changing to a concerned frown as soon as he was out of the king's sight. After Uther's admittance that he'd been tempted by the sword, he needed to speak to Merlin and get him to tell him more about just where that blade had come from. He needed to be sure there would be no lasting complications with the king.

~(-)~

Alaia Skyhawk: Yeah, Uther was tempted. I have to wonder how tempted he'd be if he knew the sword was magic though XD

And yeah, Merlin's got a major headache coming involving Gwen...