Alaia Skyhawk: Well, here's part three. I suppose this one wasn't so much a true sub-ep, but more of an extension of a few scenes to clear up the ep before it. But still, it's tying up the loose ends :)

And yeah, it sucks that Merlin has to pay for the sword himself, but then he was the one that asked for it without telling the full truth. He's just taking responsibility, poor guy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Music: A Memory to Call For (Track 12 Claymore OST)

"Whom History Won't Remember" Episode: N/A

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Chapter 54: A Sense of Guilt ~Part 3~

If there's one thing worse than having to lie to a friend, it's waiting to do it.

Merlin watched from his hiding place in an alley, eyes following the progress of Morgana and Gwen as they made their way through the market. He had the pouch of money hidden inside his jacket, and small spell cast on himself to make people who saw him turn their interest elsewhere. He was a familiar face in the city now, there were few who didn't know him as Arthur's manservant. The spell simply used that familiarity and turned it to his advantage. He was a regular sight, and so would not be noted in his passage through the streets so long as he didn't make any obvious attempts to stay out of sight.

No, if he stayed quiet, and kept his ducking into alleys as casual as he could, no one would be the wiser.

He followed Gwen and Morgana for most of the afternoon, eventually realising he was wasting his time. Instead he turned away and went to the area of the market that sold food, picking up fresh bread and a few apples. He took them to Gwen's house, entering it through the back and putting the food on the table.

Her father was out, as she'd said he would be until late. He'd already left the covers on Arthur's bed turned back, so he could get away with not showing his face in his presence again until tomorrow morning. He could always make a point of bringing the de-scratched piece of armour along with him as proof of his afternoon's efforts, but chances were he didn't need to. He wasn't stupid enough not to realise that Arthur had noticed something was bothering him and had decided to try be nice to him. In light of that, so long as all the usual work was done, which it was, he wouldn't say anything.

If only he was going to be lucky enough to get away with few words, but Merlin had a sinking feeling that Gwen was going to demand answers. Still, he had to try and see if she'd just let him pay for the sword. If she wanted to know more, he'd have to think of some way to get around the obvious problems of that.

It was getting dark when she arrived back, pausing in surprise in the doorway when she saw him sat at her table. He smiled uncertainly in greeting, indicating the food he'd brought, and then he got to his feet and held out the pouch of money.

"Here... It's for the sword. If it's not enough, let me know, and I'll get the rest to you as soon as I've managed to save it up."

Gwen frowned, closing the door behind her, her eyes moving from the pouch to his face.

"But I told you to bring it back. There's no need to buy it, all you need to do is return it before my father finds out it's gone." She approached the table, puzzled. "Besides, I couldn't just tell him I'd sold his best sword. It wouldn't be right."

Silence fell, and Merlin had to fight the urge to look away from her. He shook the pouch a little, urging her to take it.

"Even though he didn't get to use it, I'd like to keep it... To give to Arthur one day. That means I'd have to pay for it, right?"

Her frown deepened, and she folded her arms across her chest in disapproval.

"Merlin, whether or not you can buy it is up to my father to decide. You should bring it back here before asking that. So at least he has the chance to refuse, not that I think he would. What better honour could there be, than for Arthur to wield it? But there are rules to this kind of thing, unspoken rules. Bring it back first, and then speak to him about buying it."

"I... I can't."

He bowed his head, causing her to stare in confusion.

"You can't? Why?"

Merlin kept his gazed fixed on his knees, the hand holding the pouch now coming to rest on the table.

"I can't say."

There was another uncomfortable pause, until Gwen glared at him. She took the few strides to reach him, her grip almost rough when she took hold of and shook his shoulder, her voice rising in pitch and tinged with anger.

"I'm your friend, Merlin. I trusted you with my father's greatest sword. If you pay for it, then yes he'll forgive us for taking it without telling him... But I'm not going to stand there in front of him and lie about what you've done with it."

So he was going to have to tell her, but in a way that would best protect them both. Why was it that fate kept throwing things like this at him? Why did it keep forcing him into situations that could cost him his friends? He kept his head bowed, his voice subdued.

"Then I definitely can't tell you, because if you told him the truth it would put him in danger... I'll put you in danger if I tell you. The risk was my choice, and I don't want you to get involved."

Gwen's ire faded a little, replaced with a hint of concern.

"Risk? Are trying to say you've done something that could get you arrested?" She stared down at him, Merlin still looking at the floor. "Look at me, Merlin!"

"I can't tell you."

Gwen renewed her grip on his shoulder, pulling him to his feet by his jacket even as he still refused to look her in the eye.

"You will tell me. If you consider me a friend at all, you'll trust me to understand why you did whatever it is you've done."

Merlin flinched, and after a long moment he finally looked at her and sighed. How could he argue with that? He couldn't, not if he wanted her to remain his friend.

"Fine, I'll tell you basic details, but no more than that. Will that be enough?"

Gwen's lips pressed together in a thin unhappy line, but she could read the nervousness in his voice. He was scared about something.

"Fine, tell me. Tell me what you did with my father's sword."

Merlin, carefully thinking about how to edit the truth, took a deep breath and started to explain.

"Wraiths can't be killed by mortal weapons, but I managed to find out in a book about past weapons that could... Special weapons."

Gwen nodded, urging him to continue.

"And?"

Merlin averted his gaze.

"I knew of someone who could make one for me, or rather turn a normal weapon into one. But it needed to be the best sword I could find, to make sure it could save Arthur and kill the wraith."

"What do you mean by 'turn it into one'?"

Merlin stared at his feet in shame and fear.

"If Uther found out what I did, he'd have me executed. Even though it was to save Arthur, and ended up saving him instead, he wouldn't care... For him, that kind of thing can't ever be used for good."

Gwen stared at him in dawning realisation and disbelief.

"You... You asked someone to enchant my father's sword so it could kill the wraith? Merlin, you..."

He lifted his head, raising his hands as if in defence.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done it, but... I'm sorry, Gwen, really I..."

She grabbed one of his hands to stop him, looking him in the eye.

"You came here and asked me for that sword, knowing you wouldn't be able to return it?"

In the face of her stare, once again he couldn't help but look away.

"I... It was for Arthur. There was no other way, I couldn't stand back when I knew what the wraith would do to him if he..."

He felt Gwen grab his other hand, but not harshly. No, her grip was gentle and drew his eyes back to her face. There was still a hint of disappointment there, but the obvious anger was gone.

"You risked death for him, and you did it all alone. You kept quiet, to protect me and my father in case you were caught." She kept looking at him, sighing. "I don't deny I'm angry at you for asking someone to use magic on my father's sword, for hiding that from me, but... If you hadn't then the king would be dead, or if Arthur had been the one to fight, he would be dead. You broke the law, but you did it for the right reasons."

She took the money pouch off the table, in sign that he's told her enough. Merlin, feeling at least a little relieved, let her.

"Really, I'm sorry."

Gwen shushed him.

"Merlin, no more apologising. What's done is done. But still, could you tell me what you did with the sword after the fight?"

Merlin suddenly looked stricken by guilt and shame again.

"The... The one who enchanted it, he did it on the condition that only Arthur wield the sword. Because Uther used it, because I couldn't stop that, he doesn't trust me anymore. He warned me that if Uther kept it, it would cause only evil, and made me promise to put it somewhere out of reach. I hid it where no man can find it. There's no way anyone who doesn't know it's there will stumble across it."

Gwen sat down in another of the chairs by the table, solemn.

"So my father's sword was used once, and will never be used again. It's just going to lie, forgotten, in the place you hid it... How can I tell him that?"

Merlin watched her, saw the guilt in her face now, and knew he couldn't let her feel that way.

"I won't make you lie to him, Gwen. I'll do it. I'll tell him the truth, that you gave the sword to me for the sake of giving Arthur the best chance. I'll tell him that Uther used it, and it saved his life and gave him the edge he needed to win. I'll offer to pay for it, and then... I'll lie. I'll tell him that I've decided to keep the sword, to give to Arthur as a gift someday... A sword given by a friend will swing truer than any other, right?"

His expression was still filled with guilt, but Gwen smiled at the words and sighed.

"That's right." She started to open the pouch. "I know how much that sword is worth, so let's see how much you've brought."

Merlin bit his lip nervously.

"Remember, if it's not enough, I'll pay the rest as soon as I can."

She glanced at him.

"No offence, Merlin, but for a sword that good I'd doubt you'd have enough in here anyway." She tipped the pouch out into the table, pausing in shock at the sight. "What? How... How did you get all this?"

She'd expected most of the coins to be copper, with a few silvers, but no... There wasn't a single copper coin among them, most of them were silver, and there were five gold coins among them as well.

Merlin reached out, starting to arrange the coins into stacks of ten, explaining as he did.

"This is almost all of my savings, from the time I've worked here in Camelot. I live with Gaius, so I don't have to pay rent for a room, and giving him money towards food from the market costs less per week than what the castle charges those who get their meals at the servants' dining hall. Apart from getting new clothing and boots, and a few other little things, this is everything else that I've earned in that time. And Gaius gives me a little now and then too, 'pocket money' he calls it, when I've done more than the usual amount of errands for him and he decides I deserve to treat myself. Only I never spend it, it always went straight into the pouch. I've never really counted it all, but..."

She stopped him with a raised hand, still staring at the coins in shock.

"I know how much you earn, Merlin, you get two silvers a week more than me." She gestured to the money. "But this... This is easily at least half of what you've earned in the past eight months, maybe more. You must have worked so hard to save all this, and you'd spend it on a sword that will never be used again."

Merlin gave her a small smile, starting to feel at least a little more relaxed now.

"Some things are more important... My friends matter more to me than money."

Gwen looked up at him, surprised, and then returned the smile.

"And that is why you have friends who trust you, because we all know how much we mean to you. You'd risk death for us, that's how much you care."

Merlin felt his burden of guilt lifting. Any hardship, shame, or risk was worth it when you do it for the sake of your friends. He would speak to Tom with confidence when he returned from the forge, and face whatever reprimands would be dealt him, but he didn't doubt the blacksmith would forgive him. Tom had raised Gwen to think the way she did, and so if she said so, he knew things would turn out all right.

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Alaia Skyhawk: There you go, short sub-ep done. You'll find out what Tom's exact reaction was at the start of the next episode :)