Chapter 4
Everyone practically ran out the door to go eat lunch. I stayed back and went to talk to one of the nurses. I started a conversation with her, it was random but I needed too. I
felt out of place here, like a new kid in a school. There were two reasons I didn't go with the rest of the kids. One, I didn't want to eat, I was still in denial, and two, I felt like
I didn't know anyone yet. "Excuse me?" I asked one of the nurses. "When am I getting my medicine?" She looked at me and said "We'll give it you now, dear." She went over
to the counter and took a box out. She pulled something out of a box, and put a small pill in a cup, and gave me a cup of water. "Here you go." I took the pill, and played
around with it in my hand, not quite sure how to do this. "Um, I never really swallowed a pill before. I don't know how to." She told me to put it at the back of my tongue and
then drink the water. So I did, and it went right down. She asked me, "Aren't you going to go eat with the others?" I said, "No, I'm not really hungry." A few minutes later the
kids came out and went into their rooms, except for one. His name was Derek, and he came over to me and sat across from me. I was terrified that he was actually talking to
me, he said Hi, and I nodded back at him. "Why are you here?" he asked me. "I'm suicidal, depressed, have a cutting problem and an anxiety disorder. You?" "Oh, wow. I
hear voices." I knew it was a stupid question but I couldn't help myself, I had to ask. "What do you mean you hear voices?" "I hear voices inside of my head that tell me bad
things about myself and others. They control me." He said to me. "Oh, I'm sorry." I said. He laughed. "Well I better get going, ", he said. "See you around." "See you," I said.
He walked away and I walked into the lounge. "Guys go over there", I heard one of the ladies say. "She's new and she probably doesn't feel comfortable." So this guy walks
into the room. He was kind of cute looked like he was a senior, and he was. His name was Kevin. "Hey" he said to me. My throat closed up, I felt shy. I smiled at him." "So
you're new here." I nodded. "How do you like it here so far?" he asked me. "Good." I said, even though I wanted to run out of there the first chance I got. "That's good." He
said. We continued to talk; well he did most of the talking. I mostly gave one word answers. Then I was called into a room by some man. He told me he wanted to speak to
me. So I smiled at Kevin, and left. We walked into the room, and sat down in the chairs. He basically did what everyone else there did, asked me why I was there, and asked
me how it was going. It lasted for about 10 minutes, and then he sent me into the room next door for school. Every day we have school for 3 hours, and every day is a
different subject. Today was Tuesday, so we did Math. I sat down at a table next to Heather, filled with all of the girls. The teacher came over and asked me what kind of math
and other subjects I took. I told her, and she told me what page to go to in the book that I was sharing with Heather. I shared her calculator and we worked on the problems.
Finally after 3 hours we were able to leave. It was visiting hours. And both of my parents were going to come. My dad was going to come first, so when I saw him I gave him
the biggest hug ever. He told me he missed me so much, and I started crying. I told him everything that has happened so far, and how I was so scared. He told me it would
all be alright. We had a long talk, and after what felt like such a short period of time, he had to leave. So I started to cry hysterically. I missed him so much. I wanted to go
home. We hugged one last time, and he left. Then we had group therapy. So I went into the group therapy room. We played this game where we threw around a big ball with
sentences on it, and wherever one of our hands touched, was the sentence we had to finish. I got "What's your favorite food?" and I answered that with "Chocolate." I also
got another one that was "Do you like summer or winter better", and I answered "summer." When that was done, I went into the lounge, and sat down by myself. Everyone
was playing Wii. I couldn't though; I was only a level one. There's this thing called the level system. Level 1 is where you basically can't do anything, and you're stuck on level
1 for 2 days. Level 2 is where you get to bring food from home for snack time and you can do the other activities with the other kids, like go to art class, and you're on level 2
for 2 days also. The last level is level 3, and that's where you get to do whatever you want, and use the Wii. I was all alone, but Heather came in and asked if I wanted to
watch them play. I told her no, and she asked me "Are you sure?", and I said yes. She told me that she was getting discharged today, that meant she got to leave this crazy
place, and she also said I got to take her place and be roommates with the pretty blonde, Nicole. I was excited because she seemed nice. Then it was time for dinner, so they
all went to get their food and sit in the lunch room, but I sat and "ate" in the lounge. When they were all done they came into the lounge. This really cute guy, who I
remembered from group therapy, came to ask me something. He was dark and I knew he was openly gay, his name was Gregory. He asked me "Did you eat?" and I nodded,
even though I didn't. "Okay good, we have to make sure you're eating" he said to me. I smiled at him. Then they announced that Heather was leaving, so I said goodbye to
her, while everyone else hugged her goodbye. Then they told me it was time to get my bed together, so Stephanie got the sheets and blankets and put my bed together, I put
away my clothes in the drawers, and Nicole came along. The room was really scary. The window was gray, and had big chains and locks on It. The walls were gray too,
except at the top was a design of a tropical forest. It gave me the creeps. When they were done, I was glad. They left my room, and I thought to myself, Great, let's see what
unravels next…