I Need a Hero, Chapter 6 by patricia51
(A Storm Brewing Inside)
"Donna. Something's wrong."
Donna groaned. Well, surviving the end of the world DID promise to be a tiring business. But she had yet to decide which would be more likely to do her in; the upheaval of the Earth such as no one had seen probably since the creation or Sheldon Cooper; BS, MA, MS, ScD, PHD and monumental pain in the ass.
When the momentum of the landslide of a good part of the California coast had let go of them to race across the Pacific at five hundred miles an hour to smash into the coasts on the other side of the Pacific she had finally been able to take a break from the helm. Going into the cabin for a bite she had seen the rest of the adults staring at sheaves of computer printouts. With an expression on his face that could only be described as smug triumph Sheldon had thrust into her hands what she assumed to be her copy of whatever-the-hell it was.
"Now that everyone is here, or at least everyone who counts is here, although I suppose there really was no need to wait for Donna regardless of your insistence Penny. We can get started.
"Now each of you will find your roles in our adventure laid out. Rest assured that I will be fair but firm with all of you as long as you do your various jobs." He gestured towards the bow and the small bedroom/storage area located at the foc'sle. "My office will be open at all times except when the door is closed. Now if you all will turn to page two... what are you doing Donna?"
Donna made Sheldon nervous. He didn't know why. It was because she tended to treat him exactly like he treated others but that thought never occurred to him. She didn't refuse to drive him places or do things he needed done; she simply ignored his requests as though she never heard them. He shuddered recalling the terrible meeting they had just two months ago.
(Two months previously)
Sheldon groaned. He coughed. Rolling towards the nightstand he grabbed the aural thermometer there and placed the tip in his ear. He waited until it beeped and looked at the display.
"Oh dear Lord," he muttered. Raising his voice he called out. "Leonard I'm sick!"
He had managed to sit up, swing his legs to the side of the bed and don his slippers. He had wobbled slightly as he stood up, clutching a blanket around his shoulders. He coughed and then made a sound rather like a honk when he tried to cough again while sneezing. He staggered out of his bedroom and looked around.
"Leonard? Leonard where are you? I'm sick."
Then he remembered. Obviously he was in danger of becoming delusional. He had forgot, for the moment, that Leonard had cruelly abandoned him under the absurd pretext that being married to Penny meant that the Roommate Agreement was no longer in force. Just because he didn't live here anymore he acted as though it was void. Ridiculous. And he STILL had not apologized for winning what should have been his, Sheldon Cooper's, Nobel Prize.
No point in calling anyone he supposed. He shuffled across the hall. Remembering the last time he was sick he knew what would happen. Everyone acted as though taking care of him, a mind that came along only once or twice a generation, was a chore rather than an opportunity that should be embraced as the honor it was. Why couldn't they see it?
When he reached the door he knocked, wheezing as he did.
"Donna. Donna. Donna."
The door opened to reveal the object of his request in her utility uniform.
"Yes Sheldon?"
"Donna I'm sick." He proceeded to prove it by sneezing.
"Yikes!" The woman disappeared. While Sheldon was trying to decide if he should follow her in or continue to wait she reappeared.
"Here." He looked down to see a surgical type mask being thrust into his face. "Put this on."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want your germs around me; much less around my children." She punctuated her statement by lifting a can of Lysol and spraying the air all around him.
"Don't do that!" Sheldon stumbled backwards, trying to avoid the disinfectant cloud.
"I don't understand. Isn't this how you react when you think someone around you might be sick?"
"Yes but I'm already sick so it doesn't matter now," he explained.
"Back over there. Put your mask on and then you can tell me what you want."
Grumpily he complied. Didn't she understand? The damage was already done. Further precautions were pointless. Still he supposed it wouldn't hurt to comply. So he did.
"Now what do you want?"
Want indeed. She still didn't get it. It was what he NEEDED. "I NEED soup. I NEED my blanket picked up off the floor. I NEED a sponge bath. I NEED my chest rubbed."
"So what you NEED," interrupted Donna. "Is someone to take care of you hand and foot?"
Well she finally got it, he thought triumphantly. "Yes!"
"If you can't take of yourself, being a grown man, excuse me a grown male than call and hire a nurse to take care of you. But it sure ain't gonna be me." With that Donna ushered her children out of the door, instructing them to "stay away from the sick man" and the trio disappeared down the stairs.
Goodness he had thought. That was the most distressing refusal he had received since the time he had called Leonard in the North Sea and summoned him home to take care of him. He hadn't even known Leonard had known some of the words he had used.
He admitted later, if only to himself, that at least on the surface of it the idea of hiring a nurse to care for him had seemed like a good idea. It had failed miserably though. In the three days it had taken him to recover no fewer than ten nurses had quit on him, seven of them without warning. Since he had used three different agencies he was quite baffled at what might be the connecting link between all those abrupt desertions. He finally decided it must be how California ran its Nursing Licensing program and fired off a number of strongly worded emails to them. There were no replies. Why did no one ever reply to his emails?
(Present)
Once she had gathered up everyone's copy of his directive, including his own, Donna dropped them all in the open box of paper.
"Wrong Sheldon."
"Wrong? What?"
"All of it. This is not the bridge of the Enterprise. You are not the Captain, First Officer, Chief Helmsman and Science Officer and whatever else you might have appointed yourself. The forward cabin is not your office; it's where the children will be sleeping along with whatever adult or adults are with them. I suggest that will mostly be Penny and Leonard since they had suddenly and unexpectedly become parents and need to bond with their new daughter."
"Now then Sheldon, do you have a Coast Guard issued ticket as a Third, Second or First Mate or a Master Mariner's Ticket?" Without waiting for what she knew would be a negative answer smothered in a great deal of irrelevant protests she went on. "Do you have ANY training or experience at small craft handling, water safety, sailing, boat maintenance and repair or navigation? Do you even have something as easily obtained as a California Boater Education Certificate?"
"So here is how it is Sheldon. You're not commanding this boat, which by the way is the 'Sloop John B'. I am. Not only am I the only trained and qualified boat handler but everyone else agreed to that."
Sheldon stood up. "I move that the tyrannical regime of Captain Bligh, aka Donna Greene, be immediately ended and another Captain appointed. All in favor?" He raised his hand and looked around in expectation. No one else moved.
"Do I hear a second?" Leonard asked dryly, remembering numerous Emergency Roommate Conferences. "No? The motion fails to gain a second and is therefore not to be even brought to the floor for discussion before it's voted down."
Taking a deep breath Sheldon launched into one of his famous and loud filibusters such as had successfully carried him into different positions such as Safety Director, Paintball Team Captain and other positions. He was confident that he could outlast and out talk everyone else until they gave it. He had forgotten Donna's command voice.
"All in favor of taking Sheldon Cooper on deck, tying him to the anchor and dropping him overboard please assist me in doing just that."
When every single adult in the crowded cabin stood up Sheldon shut up. Why everyone was so upset with him he didn't know. He simply was trying to organize things. This seemed to happen a lot so he accepted that this was not the time to assert himself. He stopped reciting the Declaration of Independence and sat down.
"Now that we seem to have agreement," Donna said in a voice so dry it was positively arid, "let's go over the ground rules. Or water rules perhaps would be better. Speaking of water we have a pair of two hundred and fifty gallon water tanks on board as well as cases and cases of bottled water. It will all go too soon. We will be setting up the two solar stills but replenishing will be slow. So all bathing and clothes washing will be salt water. I know; a salt water bath is like making love wearing a high altitude flying suit and gloves. It's unsatisfactory. But necessary. Fresh water is for drinking."
Donna went on to lay out the rest of the guidelines, almost all of which had been agreed upon by the group in various meetings before hand. Different people had been studying things that would be of great need to them in the following days. Howard had turned his engineer's mind to the boat's engine and mechanical equipment to such an extent he could not only repair most parts of the diesel but could fix problems with the sail winches and other items. Leslie had turned her attention to electronics while Raj had commenced a study of seismic activities, particularly under the sea. Leonard's already vast knowledge of computers along with Howard's demonstrated ability to hack into most systems had given them unprecedented access to critically needed information, the success of which was proved by their survival so far. Everyone had learned at least something of handling the boat, particularly the sails. Bernadette and Amy had plunged into courses that saw them now as freshly certified First Responders. And Penny had proven to be a jack of all trades and the best sailor after Donna herself.
As the meeting broke up Donna managed to catch Amy's eye. She jerked her head towards Sheldon. Amy nodded and headed for her boyfriend. Donna sighed. Whether Sheldon believed it or not she was glad that they had saved the brilliant theoretical physicist. After all, geniuses were NOT generally noted as genial, friendly people but rather tended to be crabby, self-important and highly opinionated. All of which described Sheldon perfectly. She really hoped she would not have to tie him to the anchor. Actually that was silly. Why waste a perfectly good anchor. Let him SWIM back to dry land, assuming it could be found.
"A final word. One basic rule here for those of you with access to the New Testament and apologies to Howard and Raj but a quick examination of Second Thessalonians Chapter 3 Verse 10 should prove useful."
After further discussions with Raj and Leonard in particular she altered course again, once more standing straight out from whatever was left of the US West Coast. Raj informed her that at least two more massive ocean waves had passed under them in the last hour. He couldn't tell but there was always the possibility one was headed their way. The two he had monitored still the long waves not yet showing above the surface. She shuddered at what they would be like on the far side of the sea. The power Raj described was terrifying.
She caught a nap, snuggled with her children. A smile crossed her face just before she fell asleep. Penny was singing softly to her new daughter Michelle. Donna hoped her cousin knew something beside "Soft Kitty".
At dusk she had relieved Leslie at the helm and everyone had settled down. Muted beeps came occasionally as first Leonard and then Raj checked the boat's radar. To her surprise she had heard a low pitched conversation between Leonard and Sheldon that actually sounded pleasant and free from any argument. Maybe Amy had talked to him and got him to understand the situation a bit better.
It was the middle of the night. All had been calm so far. Once she had heard the sound of a jet far overhead. It must have been huge for that to happen. Beyond that there were no planes and no other vessels. Then Raj spoke urgently.
"Donna. Something's wrong."
"What is it Raj?" she asked, thanking her stars that the Indian astrophysicist had finally overcome his inability to speak to women.
"It's the radar. It' showing something, I don't even know what it is."
Locking the tiller in place she slipped to the door of the cabin where she could see the screen. Her face paled.
"What is it?" Raj gulped as he noted his friend's reaction.
"It's a storm. A huge storm. And it's bearing right down on us."
(To be continued)
(By the way II Thessalonians 3:10 says (basically) "He who will not work shall not eat".)