Chapter 4: "To Good Friends..."

Exactly an hour later, my driver, Ishizaki, pulls me up to the mall.

"Thank you, Ishizaki," I say as I exit. "I will call you when I am done." With a nod and a "Understood, Akiha-sama," he drives off, and I walk inside the mall, brushing my hair back over my shoulders with my hands.

Inside, I look around at the crowd. As it is Saturday, it is a very busy day. Whole families seem to be shopping. Young children are examining every storefront, eyes wide at the treasures therein. The cacophony of a thousand conversations creates a din that echoes throughout the floor.

Of course, those three are nowhere to be found. I pull my cell phone out from my purse, and begin to dial Souka's number. "Those—"

"Senpai!"

I whirl around. Seo is frantically waving her arms over her head. Hanei and Souka are on either side of her.

"...Idiots," I mumble as I close my phone back up and return it to my purse. I begin to walk toward them, and they, toward me.

I stop a few feet away from them. "Seo. Hanei. Souka." I nod at them each in turn.

Seo gives an enthusiastic wave. Hanei smiles warmly. Souka gives a small wave. This is typical behavior for them all. Hanei and Souka are my roommates at Asagami Private Girls Academy, and Seo is a kouhai* of mine who is a good friend. The four of us often do things together, and we have all been doing things together for a few years now.

Seo Akira is a good girl, generally likable, but perhaps a bit too excitable. She also has a knack for blundering into words that make one want to strangle her. She definitely uses, if not abuses, her cuteness to her advantage. Still, she does have some admirable traits. Intelligent. Cheerful. A rather talented artist who draws her own doujinshi** in her spare time. She can hold her liquor, as well, but that is only natural considering her father is a famous brewer. She seems to hold Nii-san and myself to an almost idol-like level of worship. I am unsure how to feel about that, but she is a bit too young for Nii-san, I think.

Misawa Hanei, or as she is affectionately called on occasion, "Hanepin," is a rather attractive girl. Some would say she is the embodiment of physical beauty. She also has, admittedly, the largest bust I have ever seen in my life, at 90 centimeters. She is generally considered the school idol, and never turns down a request for help, being an extremely dependable girl. However, she is a bit slow on the uptake, as the expression goes. Nonetheless, Hanei is a genuinely nice girl, and she has plenty of admirable traits that will make her a fine wife someday, if her husband is a patient man. Her attitude is quite contagious, almost to the point of infectiousness, and it is hard to feel depressed for long with her around.

Tsukihime Souka... is an acquired taste. At first glance, due to a lack of feminine proportions, her somewhat androgynous looks, and the fact she does not dress in feminine attire unless she must, she would easily be mistaken for a boy, and Nii-san has done this. She dresses most often in cotton hoodies and casual pants. She cares little for feminine things, nor does she act feminine, to the point that I sometimes believe she is a male in a female's body. She wisecracks constantly, and her manners, while not slovenly, are inelegant for someone of the female sex. However, I cannot help but admire the way she carries herself – she is truly a free spirit, and does not judge people by appearance or birthright, but by the content of their character. Her favorite color is blue, once again breaking with the "traditional" female color of pink, which is fortunate for her, as her hair and eyes are blue as well. That is probably why she took a liking to me — I have bright blue eyes.

Hanei looks me over. "You're wearing something different, Akiha-chan. Wow... I've never seen you in clothing like that. You should wear stuff like that more often, Akiha-chan!" Hanei smiles and gives a thumbs-up in approval.

"Ah... yes. My usual outfit was not able to be cleaned before I went to bed last night, so I decided to wear this for today. Is it acceptable?" I spin in a slight circle, allowing them to see the entirety of the outfit.

"Acceptable?" Souka slithers into the conversation like a serpent. "It's nice on ya. I like the sweater, especially." Her eyes travel over the sweater covering my upper body, and she nods in approval as well.

The sweater, of course, is blue. I had not remembered that until Souka mentioned it. That is probably the easiest way to get Tsukihime Souka to notice you — wear something blue.

"Souka," I begin, "You say the same thing about my eyes. Are you sure you are not a boy?"

She gives me a bit of a dirty look. I give her a look right back and smirk slightly.

"And you, are you sure you're a woman?" Her eyes move over to my sweater as she walks up directly in front of me... specifically, to my chest.

"...What did you just say?" I clench my fists firmly.

"Ah, you two, stop fighting already!" Seo tries to muscle into the staredown, laughing nervously. "C'mon, we're here to go shopping and stuff, not fight!" She tries to very gently push us both apart.

We both glare at her and speak as one.

"Stay out of this, Seo!" I say.
"Stay out of this, Akira!" Souka says.

The purple-haired girl looks like she is about to burst into tears, but she quickly backs off. She knows that the air has gotten rather hot and it is time to leave.

Souka returns her gaze to me, and I return my gaze to her in kind. The daggers in her eyes seem to be honed to an excellent sharpness, but mine are not blunt, either.

She smirks slightly, almost devilishly. I return it as well. I feel my hands slowly balling even more tightly into fists. I glance momentarily and see her flexing her fingers before she presses her knuckles against her hip and thigh, soft popping noises emitting as she cracks them. Just waiting...

Then...

"Uwahhh, Akiha-chan and Sou-chan are gonna rape each other in public!" The voice of Misawa Hanei rings out.

This makes Souka chuckle slightly. Even I cannot help but feel a smile cross my lips.

Souka and I were not really going to go at it, of course — we are great friends. It is just our unusual way of showing it, I suppose. It is one of the few unladylike acts I allow myself to indulge in.

"Seriously, Tohno. It looks good on ya," Souka says. "You should wear stuff like that more often. I think blue suits ya more than red."

"Thank you for the compliment, Souka," I reply with a slight smile. "But I have always simply felt more content around the color red, as it reminds me of autumn. Anyway... shall we get to shopping, then?"

"Shopping!" Seo chimes in. "I know the perfect store to visit first!" With this, Seo Akira takes off like a bullet, nimbly avoiding running into the crowd that is ahead of her with an array of hops, skips, and jumps.

The three of us all whip our heads as Seo runs off, and we all break out in pursuit. It is going to be a longer trip than we all thought...

Were she to get lost, I would be the one most directly responsible by default due to my status. I am thankful that few enough people recognize the face of Tohno Akiha so that I am able to go out in public... although a few people did look at me as I stepped out of the limousine.

The way Seo is running, however, it seems like she knows exactly where it is going. Hopefully to the art shop. There is one other place I can think of, but I am hoping I am wrong...

I watch as she darts inside a shop. As we get closer, I can see the stacks of doujinshi in the windows. Inwardly, I groan, my suspicions having been proven to be correct after all, and begin to mentally prepare myself. I already know what we are preparing for the second we go in there, and I quickly say a small prayer in my head for the poor workers inside. They are about to have a difficult day...

By the time the three of us catch up to Seo in the store, several circle members are staring at her in shock.

"...Of this, and one of this, and oh! One of these... wait... Issue #1? You're going to make this into a series? TWO of this, then! I'll have to get one of them sealed..."

I sigh in exasperation. Souka scratches her head a bit sheepishly. Even Hanei seems to have caught on to the situation, and she picks at her blouse. All three of us just watch as the circle artists and assistants stare at her, wide-eyed and slightly slack-jawed.

"...Souka. Who picked out the mall?"

Souka immediately thumbs in the direction of Hanei without saying a word. I turn to her.

"...Hanepin," I say, calling her by her nickname. "Did you know this mall had a doujinshi shop?" I have a feeling I already know the answer, making this a rhetorical question.

"Ummmmmm... not really, no." My suspicions are confirmed once more — two for two, today, and these are bets I do not wish to keep winning on. Not that I would expect Hanei to know such a thing...

"Well, from now on, either we go to malls without doujinshi shops, or we will have to hold Seo's hand," I say as I cross my arms.

"...Right." Even Hanei understands the situation that we are all in. "I'll keep that in mind next time. Sorry, Akiha-chan."

"It is okay, Hanei. Just... remember this next time we all go shopping." I sigh once more.

We all look back towards Seo Akira, who is happily throwing her new doujinshi into the arms of one of the shop attendants. They are well over two feet high, and it looks like if she throws any more on, his arms will buckle, sending them to the floor. Seo just grabs more, ranting on, throwing them at the top of the pile. "...And this one, and... oh, hey! You're one of my favorite artists! Can we talk for a second?" The naturally blond-haired man blinks, but nods, unable to resist the onslaught of a cute teenaged fangirl gone wild. After all, it is rare for even a male manga fan to walk in and buy EVERYTHING up for sale.

I calmly walk over to the attendant and whisper in his ear. "Now is the time to get those to a counter and start bagging, while you have the chance. Trust me, she will be buying every one - I know her too well." He looks at me for a moment, then quickly hustles to the counter. I watch him as he re-tightens his fingers along the bottom, to regain his grip, and lean the stack against his stomach and chest so they cannot tip forward.

The attendant, who is perhaps not much older than Seo himself, arrives just in time. No sooner did he get there than his arms gave out. Had he waited five more seconds, there would be a mountain of semi-ruined doujinshi at his feet, and Seo would have literally leapt out of her skin. Needless to say, I do not feel like chasing the bleeding, flayed form of Seo Akira all over a mall all day, dragging her skin behind me as I do, because she taxed the limits of a human's muscular strength to the breaking point.

"...Handcuffs next time, Souka."

She clears her throat. "Got it, Tohno."

After we drag Seo rather painfully out of the doujinshi shop by her arms, we decide it would be a good idea to get something to eat.

The problem is, of course, now we have four bags of doujinshi to carry around, no thanks to the enthusiasm of the amateur mangaka, Seo Akira.

Fortunately... I have quickly come up with a plan to serve both of our needs - to get us some lunch, as well as teach her a lesson. After all... four bags full of doujinshi are VERY heavy things to carry, and I am not particularly looking forward to being treated as a pack mule.

...At least, not without a little bit of compensation.

"We still have a good deal of shopping to do, so since Seo decided to get all of those heavy doujinshi first, as opposed to last, she will get punished with carrying her bags of doujinshi while we all shop." I announce to the group. "After all, we will have our own things to carry, so it is only fair that she carries her own things as well, after all." I give both Hanei and Souka the briefest of looks — a look that says "Play along."

"...Yeah, you're right, Tohno." Souka puts her bag of Seo's doujinshi into Seo's unused left hand. "I'm definitely gonna have at least two bags of stuff."

"...Uhh, yeah, me too!" Hanei puts her bag into Seo's right hand, doubling the weight on that arm.

"Alright, it is settled then!" I put my bag into Seo's left hand, doubling the weight on that arm and making her carry all of her own books. As Seo Akira is only 15, no doubt this is taxing the limits of her strength.

"That's not fair, you guys!" She shouts and grunts slightly as she struggles to keep her bags of doujinshi in the air and not on the ground. "C'mon, stand up for me! I'm the youngest!"

"Then maybe you should not have been so eager to run off and begin ringing up charges, Seo," I tell her bluntly. "Stacks of books are far heavier than clothing or whatever else we shall be buying, I am sure."

"No fairrrrrrrrrrr." She pouts. Her pouting is quite efficient with most people, seemingly forged by design to look so unbearably cute that one cannot help but go "Okay... but just this once, and do not pull it again!" Of course, inevitably it will come out every time, leading to a vicious cycle of incredibly cute pouting and Seo Akira getting her way.

Unfortunately for her, this does not work on Tohno Akiha.

"Come on, Seo. Or we will leave you behind." I nod slightly to Souka and Hanei, and they seem to get it. We begin walking off as one, "leaving" Seo to collect her own bags and keep up with us.

"W-WAIT! C'mon, I'll do anything, just help me!" She shouts to our turned backs.

All three of us stop almost as if on cue. I turn slightly to her. "...Anything, you say?" The slightest hint of an evil smirk is probably forming on my face, but I cannot help it.

"Y-Yeah! Well... ALMOST anything! You're not gonna kill me or something, right? That's kinda insane for just some doujinshi!"

"Of course not. But those are very bold words. Are you sure you want to risk that?" I cross my arms and tap my foot. "But please decide quickly. We do not have all day, Seo."

"Well... ah..." As if almost on cue, her left arm gives out, and the recoil of letting the bag go sends sends her crashing backwards to the floor with a mighty THUMP. The bags form a bit of a circle around her. Several people look at her, but see me walking over and think otherwise of investigating.

"Owwwwwwwww..." She rubs her backside slightly as she sits up on her knees. "Okay, okay, anything..." She sighs, resigned in her defeat.

"It is settled then. In exchange for our help, you are going to buy us lunch, Seo. A small price to pay for having that load taken off of your hands, is it not?"

"Wh-What?ǃ But... that's like... 6000 yen for the four of us! I could buy three more top-notch doujins with that!" Her eyes look to me, pleading, as if to say that I cannot be serious.

But I am quite, quite serious.

"What is that, you do not want our help? Well, okay then, it is your choice." I shrug and turn my back to her, walking off coolly.

"WAIT!" She screams it in exasperation before sighing. "Fine, fine... it's a deal, Tohno-senpai, you meanie." The pout returns without the tears. It is still incredibly cute looking.

I hold out my hand, and with it, I help Seo up after she takes it.

"Then, hand over the money, Seo. We do not work without being compensated, you know." For me, the 1500 yen or so we will each spend on lunch — a figure, I may add, that does include Seo — is trivial money to me, but this is partially to teach Seo a lesson.

She grumbles slightly as she reaches into her purse, and pulls out a wallet, producing a fairly worn 1000 yen bill and a somewhat crisp 5000 yen bill. I quickly put them in my purse before she changes her mind. "There... happy now, Meanie-senpai?" Her lips purse slightly in anger. Even this angry look of hers has a notable tang of cuteness.

"Why thank you, Seo," I smile. "Alright... Souka, Hanei, and myself will take one bag each. Surely you can carry one of those bags by yourself without your arms giving out, yes?"

"...Yeah. I should manage." She sighs, disappointed. She does not like the fact she "wasted" 6000 yen on lunch, but I am not cruel. I will slowly give her the 6000 yen back some other time, with her being none the wiser.

Besides... it will give us all a good, if somewhat nutritionally unbalanced, meal. Before long, Seo will even forget she had to pay for the lunch. Her mind will be on those doujinshi, I am sure.

I give Hanei the smaller bag, wanting her to take it easy since she is so used to doing favors like this already. "Here you go, Hanei. Please keep it by your side. Sharp book corners poking into one's body are not good for anyone, and you have, ehm, a little more up front than most."

"Huh...?" She blinks for a few moments as her brain tries to process my subtlety. Her brown eyes sparkle slightly when she realizes it. "Oh, right! Yeah, of course, Akiha-chan." She smiles slightly and puts the bag in her right hand.

"Thank you, Hanei. And now... here is your prize, Souka!" I announce it as I give it to her.

"Wow, what'd I win, DJ Tohno?" Her eyes light up like she had just won backstage passes to her favorite band. Souka is playing her role all too well. This is why I enjoy having her as a friend of mine.

"A bag full of hand-produced doujinshi!" I announce with mock glee, in my best radio DJ impersonation.

"Wow, just what I've always wanted! Now I can retire to Hawaii and live on the beach all day." She laughs, and holds the bag by its handles, putting her left hand through the holes to hold it.

I turn around and look back at Seo Akira, who is standing there with her shoulders slumped, depressed. "I hope you are coming, Seo. Otherwise, we may have to keep these, you know..." I turn around and wave my spare hand in her direction as myself, Hanei, and Souka head towards the food court.

"...It's not fair," we hear Seo pout before she picks up her bag and dashes after us.

* Kouhai - literally "Underclassman." Opposite of Senpai, which means "Upperclassman."

** Doujinshi - Doujinshi are self-produced and published literary works, usually novels or manga. (Japanese comics.)

A blessed few hours to forget my reality.
How it would be so much better
If all of my life were this simple...

Next Week (7/4/10) - Chapter 5: "Blood and Emotions ~Oil and Water~"