A/N: I know I've been gone for a really long time and I cannot make any lame excuses about why I never updated sooner. So I'll will just tell you all the truth, I just kind of lost interest in this story for awhile. I tried to write something for the longest time but nothing really came to me. But I'm back now, I hope. I'm going to have a week off before I start Spring semester so I'll try and have at least one or two more chapters out before that time.

Hope you like this and sorry if there are a few mistakes I tried to fix as many as I could find.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer own everything about Twilight. No copy right infringement intended.

Chapter 4: I want this.

EPOV

It's been about two months now since I've been living in L.A. which means it's October, two weeks before Halloween to be exact. And everything has been awesome so far. School is by far better than I have ever imagined it to be, I'm not as stressed as I was when I was going to medical school back in Chicago. And working at the bar was great also because during the days I was going to class and still had time to work on my painting and school work since I work nights. And no matter how busy I got with school I still had time to see all of my friends, especially Bella.

That is actually what I am suppose to be doing right now, working behind the bar, well at least trying to anyways. From where the bar is outside I can still look inside the club and see Bella dancing up on her stage, and if I keep up with the staring I might end up with an embarrassing problem that will take me forever to get rid of.

I'm kind of ashamed of myself, standing here lusting over my best friend while she's dances, because that's all she seems to want to be, just friends. It is starting to really get difficult to not tell her how I feel, but still I keep it to myself.

I thought that maybe just maybe we would have progressed to something more by this time. We are always together no matter what. I just thought that maybe she might feel the same about me, as I feel about her, but I could be wrong again. I always am when it comes to Bella Swan; I never really know what is going on in that beautiful mind of hers.

I shake my head to rid me of my thoughts when I hear someone walk up behind me.

"Edward, you know if you stare any harder you might actually explode…"

I turn to look but I already know who it is, Jasper, who at the moment is irritating the fuck out of me.

He knows exactly how I feel about Bella and encourages me every chance he gets to just go for it with her. I just do not have the balls to tell her, so I just stand here at work and stare at her while she dances around in her skimpy little outfits that I love and hope that I'll get a chance to talk to her before her shift ends.

"Yeah I know I'm just torturing myself, what else is new." I tell him while I shrug my shoulders.

"Why don't you just talk to her already? Why not tonight when you go over to her place since you are going to be spending the whole weekend over there?"

I look at him confused by what he's saying; I don't remember making plans about staying with her this weekend. Which isn't something I haven't done before since I've lived here, but still I don't remember saying that I was going to this weekend?

"Remember you said that Ali and I can have the apartment to ourselves, I asked you last week."

"Oh right I remember now, you're doing those nude shots of her for your next show?"

"Yeah I just want to make sure she's calm enough to do this, and if your there she might not feel as comfortable. I mean she's done things like this for me before but you know those were a bit for our personal collection." He starts to blush a bit, yeah I knew about those personal collections of theirs.

"No problem, after I get out of here I'll rush home to get some stuff together for the weekend and then I'll be out of your hair."

"Thanks man, I really appreciate it. And incoming here comes Bella now, remember try not to stare at boobs this time."

He laughs as he walks away. Asshole, it was only one time and he still won't let me live down that embarrassing time Bella came to me for a water bottle and instead of looking at her face I stared at her boobs the entire time she was standing at the bar with me.

"Hey Edward." She smiles at me, that beautiful smile of hers that always gets me to give her whatever the hell she wants from me.

"Hi." Yeah real smooth dumbass. "So how is it going inside? I heard that you were having trouble with some girls in there tonight?" I ask as I hand her a water bottle.

That was a typical occurrence around here, girls will come in with their boyfriends and get jealous when they catch said boyfriends staring at the dancers. Tonight it was Bella's turn.

"Not too bad, she tried to start shit but since Seth installed those new rails for our stages she couldn't really pull me down. And Seth saw her and got Jake to kick her out before it out of hand." She usually just laughs it off and tonight is no different. When stuff like that happens to her it doesn't really seem to faze her.

"So what time are you off tonight, because I'm pretty much done and since you're staying over this weekend at my place I thought I might as well just wait for you."

"All done actually I was just putting away some stuff. Let me just go into the back and gather up my things. I'll meet you out front when you are done changing."

She agrees with that plan and starts to walk away. I can't help myself and I stare at her ass as she walks through the employees' only door to go and change. Fuck that girl is really going to kill me one day.

As I start to get ready to leave behind the bar I hear the one voice that makes my balls retract back into my body from across the patio area.

Lauren comes up against the bar and leans in to try and give me a look down her shirt while again trying to ask me out, I don't know how many more I am going to have to suffer before she finally gives up.

She's been trying to ask me out ever since I started working here, and I say no every single time.

"So Eddie what do you think, take me out tonight?" she says in her really annoying high pitched voice.

Before I can say anything Tanya one of the other dancers comes over to save me. I met her when I started working here, Bella actually introduced us since those two were close she thought we might get along too.

Tanya was awesome and I love that girl because we have become close, but I always feel as though I have to compete with her when it comes to Bella.

Tanya has the biggest crush on Bella and she isn't shy about it either like how I am. And she knows that that is one of her biggest advantages over me. The only good thing about her crush is that even though Bella knows about it and plays along sometimes with her, she never goes beyond that. And for that I was happy.

"Hey Bitch Blonde Barbie! Why don't you beat it before I pull that fake weave of yours out and beat you with your own stripper shoes that you love to wear to work even though they're restricted?"

Everyone knows not to mess with Tanya, Lauren included.

With just that one warning and Tanya's bitch glare Lauren runs away without another glance back.

"Thanks Tanya, I don't know when she's finally going to give up. I've never given her the impression that I would go out with her."

"No problem, she's just desperate. So I hear your spending the whole weekend with my girl, are you finally going to tell her how you feel. Because you know me, if you don't tell her I'm just going to end up really making her mine finally."

I roll my eyes because whenever this topic comes up she always threatens me the same way.

"I don't know Jasper told me the same thing earlier. I'm just scared that she doesn't feel the same." I run my hand through my hair the way I typically do when I'm feeling anxious or stressed.

"You know even though you think she doesn't feel the same, she actually does. So stop being such a pussy and do something about it already!"

I know everyone knows about my feeling, because I hear the same thing almost every day from not only Jasper and Tanya, but from Alice, Rose and Emmett.

"You're right; I think I'm going to talk to her tonight when we get back from picking up some of my things."

"Good because on Monday when I see Bella and I don't hear from her about the amazing monkey sex you two had this weekend I'm going to kick your ass, okay."

"Jeez Tanya, okay I get it." I blush at what she says because I sure as hell have always been thinking about doing that from the moment I met Bella.

She walks back inside to finish her shift while I go into the back room to get my backpack and think about what I'm going to say tonight. I actually feel good about this, everything is going to work out tonight I can feel it. At least I hope it does.

BPOV

I'm standing outside by the front door with Jacob waiting for Edward to come out wondering what is taking him so long.

I start to think about this weekend and wonder if I should finally talk to Edward about how I feel about him. It's been a few months since he's lived here and I still haven't said anything about my feelings towards him.

I know I love him; I'm just worried that if I tell him I'm going to scare him off because he doesn't feel the same. And even though Ali, Rose, and Tanya who I know wants my body by the way, tell me to just go for it I still always worry.

"So I hear pretty boy is staying at your place this weekend, are you two finally going to hook up."

I look up and Jake and groan, I can't believe he just said that.

"I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, we're just friends." I glare up at him. I'm not about to admit to Jake that I love Edward.

"Whatever, you think you're so smooth at hiding your feelings about him to other people but I can see right through that façade you put up. I see the way you look at him when you think no one is watching."

I stay quiet not knowing what to say to him afraid that if I speak I'll just give myself away more.

"You're silence says it all babe." He says while laughing.

I punch him as hard as can but end up just hurting myself which only makes him laugh harder.

"You're an asshole you know that right Jacob Black, but yes you're right and I hate to admit. To you especially, but yeah I have feelings for Edward. I'm just scared that he doesn't feel the same."

"Well you better grow some lady balls now because here he comes."

Edward walks up to us looking all hot in his tight white shirt underneath his jacket and black jeans, his typical clothes he has to wear for work. He greets Jake and asks if I'm ready to go. We say bye to Jake and start walking towards his place so that he can pick up a few things for this weekend, I know he's going to need some supplies to paint for a project due next month.

"So what do you want to do this weekend?" I ask him as we finally start making our way to my place after walking out of his building with his things.

"I don't know I have to start on my painting this weekend so we might not be able to do anything that exciting like we normally do." He chuckles a bit because when he says exciting I know he's actually talking about how we normally just sit around my apartment and eat junk food and watch Jackass all day.

We walk into my building and see Emmett and Rose standing in front of the elevator waiting for the doors to open.

Those two could be really embarrassing sometimes, ever since they moved in together a few months ago they are always all over each other. Like right now how they are standing in the middle of the lobby making out and practically having sex where anyone can see them.

As Edward and I walk up to them I clear my throat to try and get their attention and end their highly inappropriate PDA.

Emmett finally pulls himself away from Rose's lips to see who was interrupting them.

"Oh hey Bells, Eddie…" he says to us when he looks up, Rose has the decency of looking a bit embarrassed from getting caught in the act.

"Please Emmett how many times do I have to ask you not to call me Eddie!"

I smile because I know a secret that no one else knows about. When Edward and I are alone at anytime I call him Eddie and he doesn't seem to mind much. The only thing he made me promise to him is that I wouldn't call him that in front of anyone else.

"So how was work, Ali called me not to long ago and said that you almost beat the shit out of some girl tonight?"

"It was no big deal, just some stupid chick getting mad that her boyfriend was tipping me. She tried to pull me off my stage and I was almost tempted to kick her in the face with my foot but Seth and Jake got to us before I could do anything."

The elevator door opens and we all get in.

"So Bells, Raquel gave me a couple of bags of clothes that were just lying around the showroom. She said I can have them since they were given to us and not borrowed. Did you and Ali want to come by and pick a few things out?"

I loved Rose's job, things like this almost always happen. Her boss will clean out their showroom and will put together bags full of clothes ready to give to her employees. There will be clothes from designers like Alexander McQueen, Chanel, Burberry, Versace, L.A.M.B. (my personal favorite); the list goes on and on. So Ali and I reap in the benefits of having a best friend that works for a Hollywood stylist.

"Hell yeah I want to pick out a few things! Ali is going to be with Jazz all weekend locked away in his apartment so we probably won't see them at all. That's why Edward is staying with me this weekend."

"Oh Okay well come by tomorrow, it's my day off so I'll be home all day." When the guys are busy talking Rose whispers to me that we would be talking tomorrow about what happens tonight. Hopefully I'll actually have something to tell her.

We finally get to our floor and walk to our doors and Edward and I say good night to Rose and Emmett and walk into my apartment.

"I'm going to go change I'll be back then you can go put your things in my room okay."

He says okay and I walk into my room to change into something more comfortable, I start to get nervous about having him here this weekend. I know I have to finally let him know that I love him I cannot keep this to myself anymore, he has to know. After I'm going to leave the rest up to him, the ball will be in his court.

I change into some yoga pants and my Kings of Leon shirt and give myself a pep talk before walking back in to the living room to confront Edward once and for all.

Well here goes nothing.

EPOV

I'm freaking out! I don't know if I can go through with this. My nerves are really starting to get to me; I'm not even entirely sure what I'm going to say to her when she walks back into the living room. But I better think of something quick!

I hear the door to her bedroom open and I pick up my duffel bag and backpack so I can go put them in her room.

She walks into the living room still looking beautiful even when she dresses down into the comfortable clothes and ridiculous looking Ugg boots she loves to wear.

"So did you want something to eat, I know I'm starving. I didn't really get to eat much today before I went into work."

"Uhh… yeah sure, just make whatever you want. You know I'm not too picky about things like that."

I walk into her room and just stand in the middle and close my eyes and breathe in deeply. I love walking in here, it always smells so good. Like vanilla and strawberries.

The smell of her room gives me that extra courage back and I drop my things and walk back to the living room with determination.

She's standing in the kitchen and I walk up to her, she hears me and turns around to face me.

"So I was thinking about making…" She stops what she's saying. "What's wrong?"

"I love you."

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