Disclaimer: Still not mine :p
A/N: Woot, the fourteenth chapter is here! Meh, I don't really have anything to say so just start reading, 'kay? Enjoy and do review afterwards!
Chapter Fourteen: Gender Confusion
Teddy looked up into the sky, shielding his eyes to protect them from the sun's glaring light.
It was a one fine day and Teddy found himself enjoying the good weather. The birds were chirping merrily; the flowers dancing with the breeze. The wind constantly played with him, tousling his hair in the process. The temperature was well – not too hot nor cold.
Everything was so carefree… just the way the Slytherin liked it.
"Teddy!" a voice cried and he whipped around, searching for the melodic voice. "Oh Teddy, you came!" And the next thing he knew, he was enveloped into a warm and tender embrace. The carefree Slytherin found himself embracing the person back, tighter.
Her arms were soft and smooth; her stature petite and slim. Her calming nature brought comfort for the seventeen-year-old and he soon found himself closing his eyes, drawing the unnamed lady closer into his arms.
"Do you want to dance, Teddy?" she whispered, her lips mere inches away from his right ear. The Slytherin shivered in delight, unconsciously taking in her smell – sweet vanilla and almond. He nodded enthusiastically and allowed her to encircle her arms around his neck and he, on the other hand, placed his arms around her slender waist.
Soft music was heard as they started to sway with the music. An unconscious smile gradually grew on Teddy's face as more minutes passed by. He placed his chin on top of her head and he soon noticed that her hair was cut short, but Teddy did not mind at all.
The sweet moment ended too soon as the mysterious girl pulled away from his hug. Teddy opened his eyes in indignation, wanting to pull her closer to himself, but the girl merely giggled.
"I'll be right back," she whispered, placing a light kiss on his cheek. As soon as she walked away, a furious blush crept on his face.
"Where am I?" he asked aloud, absentmindedly rubbing the spot where the girl had kissed him. "Who are you?"
He looked around and was astonished to see that the scene had changed. He now found himself standing in the middle of an abandoned meadow, sunflowers growing around. A pleased, yet perturbed smile grew on his face. After all, sunflowers were his favorite flower – they were a happy and carefree flower.
Teddy started to walk around. But then, he tripped on a small, protruding root ("Where the hell did that come from?") and he toppled, his rear end making a contact with the ground.
He frowned, amused that his bottom didn't smart in pain.
"Are you all right, love?"
'That voice again,' he told himself. "Where are you? Who are you?"
"I'm right behind you, Teddy," was her mere reply.
Teddy whipped behind and indeed, the mysterious lady was behind him. He stood up immediately, confusion clearly etched on his face. "Who are you?" he repeated once again. "What…"
"Shh," she whispered, placing a gentle hand against his cheek. Teddy once again furiously blushed and the girl giggled upon feeling the sudden heat on his cheek. "Are you happy, Teddy?"
He blinked, a little terrified to realize that her soothing voice made him more drawn to her. "Yes," was his truthful answer.
"Do you want to leave my side?" she asked, this time clutching both of his cheek.
He blinked faster, trying to decipher the face of the girl in front of him. All he could see was a blur. "No," he answered. "No, I don't want to leave you."
A gorgeous smile graced her features, or so he believed. "Good," she said. "Because I love you and I don't you to leave my side, Teddy."
His eyes widened, surprised at the mysterious lady's confession. "Who are you?" he asked once again. "Who are you?"
"Oh, you know me, Teddy," she said. "You know me very well."
To his surprise, the hazy blur was starting to dissipate. He could clearly see her eyes already… they were eerily familiar.
"Teddy?" she inquired.
He soon saw her cute, button nose and he realized they were familiar, too.
"Teddy?"
Her lips were soon seen and Teddy's eyes slowly grew into wide saucers. He knew that face.
"Teddy?"
His jaw dropped, horror filling his gut. Merlin, the mysterious person in front of him was no lady!
"Teddy? Teddy?"
"Oh shit," he whispered under his breath, pulling away from the person. "Shit… Hermes? Wh-what are you doing here?"
"Teddy?"
"THEO?"
"THEODORE NOTT!"
Teddy bolted up from his bed. A scream of terror escaped from his mouth and he gasped, sweat trickling down his neck.
"Merlin, Theo, you sleep like a log," Blaise commented, an amused look on his face. "Are you all right? You seemed… horrified."
The carefree Slytherin whimpered under his breath, absentmindedly brushing sweat off his forehead. "I-I'm fine," he said before gulping. "I just had a… a nightmare." He shivered upon remembering his dream.
Blaise continued to look amused. "Well, for your information, classes will start after ten more minutes. If you don't make haste, you'll be the receiving end of Professor McGonagall's wrath."
"WHAT?" he exclaimed, jumping off his bed. "Ugh, why didn't you wake me up earlier?"
"I tried to," Blaise answered, "but you seemed like you're enjoying your dream." He raised an eyebrow. "Pray tell, what was your dream?"
Teddy halted in his steps, his cheeks instantly inflaming. 'My dream?' he thought. Teddy had dreamt a lot of things before and half of them were immediately forgotten once he woke up. But the dream he had last night was different; everything that had happened was still vivid in his mind.
"Err… you have seven more minutes to go so be quick, Blaise! I'll see you in Transfiguration!" And with that, he disappeared behind their bathroom.
Blaise stared at the closed bathroom door in confusion, surprised at how fidgety Teddy was. "Oh well," he said, shrugging dismissively, before turning around and running towards the Transfiguration classroom.
Teddy walked towards the Great Hall, depressed and hungry. A small pout graced his features and people who usually saw him were so surprised with his sudden change of demeanor.
The usual warm aura surrounding the Slytherin was gone, replaced by a miserable cloud hovering above his head. Even people he despised, those people he did not allow to call him 'Teddy', were surprised with his sudden change of attitude.
When some people inquired, he blamed it on hunger. He reasoned that he was not able to eat his breakfast that was why his energy was very low. And they believed him when in actuality, his dream last night was bothering him immensely.
The carefree Slytherin had no idea whether to call it a sweet dream or a nightmare. He believed that nightmares contained monsters and such horrendous things and his last night dream never contained any. And a sweet dream? It was far from it.
Teddy's misery became more evident as he entered the Great Hall. A few Slytherins nearby greeted him a cheerful 'hello', which he only returned by a mere glance.
He continued to stride towards his usual place in the Slytherin table, ignoring the looks of curiosity from his Housemates. 'Oh to hell with all of you!' he exclaimed in his mind.
"Oi, Teddy!"
The troubled Slytherin froze on the spot, his eyes immediately widening into huge saucers. He reluctantly looked up and was met by the worried look of the reason of his misery. His blood instantly ran cold and to his horror, he couldn't move at all.
"Theo, are you all right?" Blaise asked, his look mirroring Hermione's. "You've been… out of character the whole day. And don't tell me about you not eating breakfast. I've known you for years and you know that I won't believe that lie."
"Err…" he started, his eyes still firmly fixed on the disguised Slytherin. "I…" To his horror, his cheeks started to inflame.
"Do you want to leave my side?... Good, because I love you and I don't want you to leave my side."
He released an audible whimper, this time averting his eyes away from Hermione. "I… I'm not hungry at all and I'm going to look for Draco, okay? So don't look for me anymore." He turned around without any farewell at all and dashed towards the double oak-wooden doors.
Blaise stood up to call out for him but before he could even stop his best friend, Teddy was out of the Hall. "What the heck is wrong with that bloke?" he muttered under his breath, sitting down once again. "He's acting weird." He made a face and frowned. "Ah, seriously."
Hermione looked at Blaise with a frown of her own. "I… I have this feeling that Teddy's avoiding me," she announced. The Italian looked at her questioningly. "Erm… I mean, I haven't talked to him the whole day. Didn't you notice? In Transfiguration, he sat amongst the Hufflepuffs. Isn't that weird? Yeah, they maybe a cheerful House but still…" Hermione paused and shook her head, her hair bouncing in the process. "Did I do something wrong again? I can't remember offending Teddy."
The Italian looked at the distressed brunette and gently smiled. "Oh, leave him alone for a while," he advised. "Theo's one weird guy. He's immature, remember? And if you are right and he's avoiding you, then why not settle in apologizing to him the childish way? It's effective, after all."
The disguised Slytherin contemplated Blaise's suggestion for a while before releasing a tired sigh. "Yeah, you're right," she agreed. "I might as well start collecting sweets again, yeah?"
All Blaise did was to chuckle.
Draco stood up to return the books he had borrowed, scowling at how uninformative some were. His scowl deepened upon hearing the scraping of the chair across from him. Teddy had mimicked his actions and had followed him, a miserable look visible on his face.
The blond had returned all of the books first and grabbed a few more before swiveling around and giving his best friend a pointed look. "Is there something wrong, Nott?" he asked, striding back to his table, Teddy in tow.
The carefree Slytherin merely whimpered and whined, this time sitting down on the chair beside Draco.
His best friend released an annoyed noise behind the back of his throat. It was no use studying and accomplishing his school work now that someone was obviously pestering him. Draco grimaced, realizing that he was wasting precious time.
He then shifted on his seat, his body now fully facing Teddy. Now that he was looking at him properly for the first time, he had noticed the distinctive changes on his usual cheerful best friend. There were dark bags under his eyes; his lips curved into a deep pout. His usually fixed hair was disheveled.
All in all, Draco concluded that Theodore Nott looked pathetic.
"What is it now?" he said after a tired sigh.
Teddy only looked at him, his pout deepening.
"Stop giving me those looks, Theo," he snarled, his annoyance increasing. "Just tell me what's bothering you so that you'll leave me alone and I can continue studying."
Teddy was having the telltale signs of a problematic him. Draco had known him for years and his actions clearly showed that he was extremely bothered by something. It was annoying how he used to follow him around, wearing the same miserable look on his face. At first, he told him to 'piss off' and find another person to console him (since there were a lot of more than willing people) but Teddy refused and stayed by his side. After that, Draco just got used to his constant following and he had no choice but to listen to his problems (most were undoubtedly petty) and do his best to give him an advice.
"Well?" Draco asked, an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed against his chest.
If it was probable, Teddy's dejected look worsened. He hid his face behind his hand and moaned. "Oh, I want to tell you so much, Draco! But I can't!" he whined, muffled by his hand. "It's… it's… it's complicated! I don't even know how to explain it." He removed his hands away from his face and stared at Draco. "I don't know what to do, Draco… I don't fucking know why I am bloody feeling this way."
He placed a hand over his chest, just above his heart, and continued to whine. "This is so… weird! What am I going to do?" He was pleading now, his hands tightly clutched on the blond's arm. "Please tell me what to do!"
Draco rolled his eyes at his best friend's melodrama. "How can I help you when I don't have a clue what you are talking about?" he said.
"It's embarrassing!" he whispered in exclamation. "Truly embarrassing, Draco! And I have a feeling you'd condemn me forever if you discovered this… this devastating secret of mine."
The blond closed his eyes, counted from one to ten, before releasing a huge gush of breath. "Let me guess," he started, slowly opening his eyes. "Girl problems?"
To his surprise, Teddy turned into a terrible shade of red. His hands on his arm were slowly slackening. "Girl problems?" he asked, almost breathless. His blush increased ten-fold. "O-of course, girl problems! Ha ha, are you accusing me of something? I will never, ever, ever like a…" He faltered and looked away, his cheeks still flaming red.
Draco had narrowed his eyes in suspicion, although he still couldn't get the reason of Teddy's sudden hysteria. A few minutes had passed and Teddy's cheeks were still inflamed. Draco glanced at his watch and sighed, shaking his head.
"Well, it's obvious that you won't tell me your problem," he said. He inserted his hand inside the pocket of his trousers and fished out a Chocolate Frog. He opened it and offered it to his frazzled friend. "Here, eat this. This will make you feel better."
Teddy gingerly grabbed the chocolate from Draco's hand and placed it inside his mouth. The delectable food melted inside his tongue and for a minute, his eyes lit up in delight. Draco had noticed this and shook his head. Trust Theodore Nott to be so overjoyed over a piece of candy.
But then, the miserable looked settled back on Teddy's face.
Draco ran a hand through his hair and grabbed his abandoned parchment. "Anyway, I won't force you to spill out your problem," he said. "So can I do my homework now?" At the corner of his eyes, he saw Teddy nod. "Good… now, have you seen Hermes? He said he's going to fin-."
"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!"
The blond looked at the hysterical Slytherin. Teddy was standing up now, his chair lying flat on the ground. Teddy's hands were balled into tight fists and he was breathing in loud gasps.
"Shhh!" was Madam Pince's strict reminder. Draco softly apologized and righted Teddy's upturned chair. He forced him to sit down and was successful.
"Okay, but you don't need to shout," Draco said, frowning at him. The blush on his face came back, full force, and now he was hiding behind his hands.
"Have you eaten breakfast?" he asked. Teddy shook his head. "Have you eaten lunch?" Once again, Teddy shook his head.
Draco sighed and smacked his forehead. Why did he have to have a best friend like Teddy Nott? "Figures," he muttered. "Why don't you go to the kitchens to eat something, huh? That's a good idea. If you become late for Potions, I'll cover up for you. So, go."
Teddy miserably pouted but obliged. He walked out of the library in a sluggish manner, his misery increasing as he took more steps out.
Once he was gone, the blond shook his head. "What is his problem?" he asked aloud. He sighed and dismissed the thought, now returning back to his homework.
Teddy peeked inside the Great Hall, apprehension clearly etched on his handsome face. It was dinnertime now and the problematic Slytherin debated whether to eat in the Great Hall or in the kitchen. His stomach was growling so hard now, having eaten only a few sweets in the kitchen, and his stomach was desperate to have real food already.
He walked inside the Hall, ignoring curious glances and worried looks from his Housemates and slowly strolled towards his usual place in the Slytherin table.
To his immense relief, Hermes Austen was nowhere to be found.
He eagerly plopped down beside a startled Blaise and gathered as much food as possible on his plate.
Blaise watched in amusement, allowing him first to put some food inside his empty stomach, before breaking the silence. "Are you troubled, Theo?" he asked, casually munching on a pear.
Teddy paused, swallowed the fried chicken in his mouth, before shaking his head. "I'm perfectly fine," he assured, his words cautious.
The Italian raised an eyebrow, clearly disbelieving. "Really now," he said. "Well then, explain your absence in lunch a while ago. I talked to Draco and he said you are bothered by something but you're too embarrassed to spit it out. Are you sure you are all right?"
A light stain of pink was painted on Teddy's cheek. "Don't mind me," he said, looking around the room.
"If you are looking for Hermes, he's in the library," Blaise said and watched as Teddy's blush darkened. "He said he needed to do some of his homework and in case you came to the Great Hall, you'll be able to eat peaceful because he isn't here."
A guilty look settled on Teddy's face. "My problem's not about… him," he lied through his teeth. "Absolutely nothing."
"Mmm-hmm," Blaise said, finishing his pear.
Silence was heard once again and Blaise chose to finish reading a book he had borrowed a few days ago. Tonight, on his nightly ritual, he would be reading a new book he'd found in the library and he hoped it would be something enjoyable.
"Blaise," Teddy said, breaking the silence. Blaise made a sound to say that he was listening. "Blaise… what do you call a guy who… erm… likes another guy?"
His eyes snapped up, narrowed into suspicion. "Why?" he asked, an accusatory tone in his voice. His suspicion increased when Teddy's blush darkened.
"No-nothing!" he exclaimed. "It's just that I know… a friend who does. And it has been bothering him lately to the point of making me bothered, too."
'Right,' Blaise thought. He then sighed and closed his book, returning it back inside his bag. "Well… if a guy likes a guy, then maybe he's gay."
To his utmost surprise, Teddy paled, the color on his cheeks changing into white. "Oh," he managed to answer. "Bu-but what if this guy likes girls, too, lots and lots of them, and only likes a specific guy?"
The Italian thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Well, if that's the case," he said. "Then maybe he's… bisexual."
Teddy paled more to the point of making Blaise worried. But then, he released a defeated sigh and gradually stood up from his seat. He shouldered his bag and stared at his roommate. "Well, thanks, Blaise," he said, his voice lacking emotion. "I… I'm tired already. I guess I'll just rest in the common room." And with that, he strode out of the Great Hall.
Blaise had suspicions about Teddy's unknown predicament, mostly involving his disguised roommate, and he couldn't help but release a small chuckle.
Teddy was found in the Slytherin common room, curled up in a fetal position on his favorite couch in front of the roaring fire.
All the worrying had drained his energy and now, he just allowed himself to think of nothing at all. But alas, his stubborn dream kept on resurfacing in his mind and he would instantly react with a blush and a soft groan.
What exactly was Hermes Austen to him? He was a good friend, he reckoned. Not as good as Draco but still, enough to classify him as a person who could call him 'Teddy'. And he was thankful for him because when he came into their room, the atmosphere seemed to lighten a bit. Draco's old self had returned once in a while, although his new, brooding self would still be dominant. Blaise seemed to take a great liking to the new Slytherin and he was happy that Blaise had a new friend.
And him…? What exactly was Hermes Austen to him?
Teddy sighed and closed his eyes, trying desperately to block those thoughts away from his mind. He was tired… too tired. He just wanted to sleep.
"Lord Theodore?"
His eyes popped open, only to be met by the worried eyes of his second year avid fan girl, Mina.
"Lord Theodore, are you all right?" she asked, crouching down to level her eyes with his blue ones. "I've watched you the whole day and I noticed the changes in you. Are you all right? You seemed so out-of-character today."
Teddy sighed, bestowing the second year with a small smile. "Am I that obvious?" he asked. Mina nodded, the worried look still on her face.
The seventh year Slytherin chuckled and slowly sat up. Mina stood up from her crouching position and invited herself to sit down beside her senior. "You can tell me your problems, you know," she offered, a blush splashing on her face.
"Mina?" he asked after moments of silence. "How… how did you finally realize that you like me?"
The second year looked genuinely surprised and she looked at Teddy, her blush darkening. "Why did you suddenly ask that?" she asked.
Teddy merely shrugged, an expectant look on his face. "Well?"
Mina scratched her head in embarrassment, her eyes downcast. "Well…" she started. "I always admired Lord Theodore's carefree nature. You… you never cease to brighten my day with a simple smile of yours. Do you know that you have the most beautiful smile I had ever seen in my whole life?"
He only chuckled, flattered.
"And your eyes…" she continued, lifting her head to stare directly into his blue orbs. "They smile even if your lips aren't. You are so good to your friends, especially to your roommates. Loyal, even." Mina paused to release a contented sigh. "Those are the things that made me like you, Lord Theodore."
Teddy contemplated what the twelve-year-old said and he found himself at loss for words. Mina was looking at him with her usual awe, and the seventh year was driven to look away.
His mind drifted to the sole reason of his worry and he grimaced. The first time he saw Hermes Austen smile, something stirred inside him already. He did realize that he had a cute, if not handsome, smile. Teddy brushed off the idea that Hermes was handsome. He was too… effeminate to be called 'handsome'. But judging from the rumors that were running around the whole common room, girls found him 'cute'.
Hermes also seemed to be wimpy; his stature was too… lean to be considered manly. But his eyes… Teddy closed his eyes to remember. They were big, almost owlish, and every time he stared straight at those dark pools, he found himself remembering his most favorite chocolate.
He made him feel at ease. Merlin, he made him feel happy. And after discovering all of those were too overwhelming for the Slytherin.
"Mina," he said, breaking the silence.
"Hmmm?" the second-year asked, her eyes firmly trained on her senior.
"I… I think it's better if you do your homework now," Teddy continued. He gradually stood up from his favorite couch. "I'm going to go outside, okay?"
"Okay," Mina said, standing up, too. "Umm… Lord Theodore? You'll be fine, right?"
Teddy gave her an adorable smile that he could only do. "Of course," he said. "I'm Teddy Nott!"
"Okay," she said. "Goodnight, Lord Theodore."
She the trudged up to the girls' dormitory while Teddy walked out of the Slytherin Common Room, eager for the cool night breeze.
Teddy sat on the ground, Indian Style, as soon as he arrived near the Hogwarts Lake. He gently closed his eyes and allowed the night breeze to caress his cheek and tousle his hair. Truly, the cool night could calm him down.
"Are you all right, love?"
His eyes instantly snapped open and he looked around wildly, terrified that Hermes Austen was just around. He scowled upon seeing that no one was around. Teddy realized he was unconsciously remembering his dream and he hated himself for that.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he growled to the night, which merely answered with a stronger wind. "I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm a man! That's right! I'm an awesome and straight man!"
He was standing up now, arms raised up in proclamation. "This is just a passing fancy. Yes, that's right! A passing fancy! I just admire him… just plain admiration and nothing else. I merely…"
"Teddy?"
Teddy froze, hands still poised mid-air. But then, he fervently shook his head. "You're just remembering your dream, Teddy Nott," he assured himself. "You're only hearing his voice. Nothing else. Just his voice."
"Teddy! Are you all right?"
The Slytherin swiveled around only to come face-to-face with none other than Hermes Austen. He was wearing this worried look on his face mixed with genuine confusion.
Teddy, unable to repress it, released a small whimper and almost took a mad dash back to Hogwarts only to be stopped by his roommate.
"Why are you avoiding me?" he asked. Teddy halted in his steps, his back still facing away from the brunette. A terrified look settled on his face and he was torn whether to stay or run away. "Did I… did I do something wrong?"
"A…ah, n-no," he said, managing to stutter.
"Then why are you avoiding me?" Hermes implored once again.
Teddy nervously scratched his head and forced himself to face his roommate. He looked everywhere but his face. "I-I'm sorry. I'm not really avoiding you, He-Hermes. It's just that… today's an extremely weird day," he said, lying smoothly through his teeth. 'Liar! Liar!' he screamed inside his head, but shook those thoughts away.
He heard him sigh. "Well… if I really did something wrong, then, I'm sorry," he said. Teddy's eyes landed on him. His owlish eyes instantly met his blue ones and he was reminded once again by his most favorite chocolate. Teddy watched as Hermes placed his hand inside his trousers and fished out some bunch of sweets. He gingerly offered it to the Slytherin. "I'm sorry," he repeated once again, eyes downcast.
Teddy softly gasped in surprise and almost cried. Here was Hermes Austen, guilty over something he did not intend to do to him. But here he was, offering him sweets just so he could be forgiven.
'I'm a prat,' he mulled. 'A big, fat prat… Well, maybe not fat.'
Unable to help himself, he threw himself towards his roommate and gave him a tight hug. "Gah, I'm so sorry!" he gushed out, tightening his hug. "I'm such a bad, bad friend. I didn't mean for you to misunderstand."
He felt him gingerly pat his back, a small chuckle escaping from his lips. "What are you talking about, Teddy?" he asked. "And… ugh, I can't breathe properly."
The carefree Slytherin colored and instantly pulled away from Hermes. Upon seeing his amused smile, his blush darkened. "I-I'm sorry," he sputtered, thankful that it was too dark for him to see his red cheeks.
"So… I'm forgiven?" Hermes asked, a hopeful look on his face. "Although, I'm not entirely sure what I did to make you upset."
Teddy nervously laughed and lifted up a fisted hand. "Fist bump?" he offered. Hermes smiled and bumped his fist against his. He then boldly swung an arm over Teddy's shoulders, despite the fact that he was inches shorter than him. Teddy couldn't help but laugh and swing an arm over Hermes' shoulder, too.
"Come on," Hermes said. "Blaise and Malfoy had been looking all over for you. You've made them extremely worried, you know."
"I know, I know," the carefree Slytherin said. "I'm going to apologize to them, too."
Hermes looked at him, a worried look on his face. "Are you sure you're going to be all right, Teddy?" he asked.
Teddy absentmindedly rubbed his pink cheeks with his free hands. "Well… I guess I'll be."
And with that, the two went back to the Slytherin Common Room.
A/N: And end! Aww, a whole chapter dedicated to my beloved Teddy. Isn't he adorable? Well, that's my opinion. I know some of you think he's acting kinda weird but I love him just the way he is. Nobody can stop me from loving Teddy Nott XD.
Ah, as you've noticed, there are no review responses. I do apologize for that. I'm kinda having this "manga" fever. You know, Japanese comics… Gah, I've found so many good ones and I must confess I haven't read any fanfictions these past few weeks. But well, what can I do? Speaking of mangas, to those who are avid fans too, can you suggest some awesome mangas (preferably, shoujo *wink* *wink*). No smut, please. I read smut, yeah. But seeing it with my own eyes is different. VERY DIFFERENT. LOL, I hope you get what I mean.
Anyway, that's it for now. Until next time. Please do review! Ciao :D
With love,
2booklover4