I own nothing. (All quotes indented and bold fonts were taken from one of J.K. Rowling's books.)

This story has been taken and pieced together from three unique diaries. Unfortunately, due to the fact that the information in the diaries is often quite biased, different parts of each diary have been used to describe certain events.

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Lilly West and the Sorcerer's Barf-Bag

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Blaise Zabini

"West, why in the world are you wearing glasses?" I asked as Lilly walked down the stairs that lead to her dormitory. "I'm going to be smart this evening. And all smart people wear glasses," Lilly said, adjusting the large circular lenses that took up practically all of her face. I chuckled and shook my head.

We walked side by side out of the Common room and towards the Great Hall. The entire month we'd been preparing for tonight's Competition- exploring almost every room and checking its contents, so we had even better chances of finding hidden objects. Lilly was taking this bet very seriously- she really didn't want to kiss Crabbe.

As we entered the hallway, I gasped- bats were everywhere. Swooping down on the pumpkin lanterns, floating up by the ceiling or hanging upside down on the stone rafters. They filled the room as much as the humans did. "Ahhh, yes. Chiropteran- a fascinating species," Lilly said, nodding, like she was talking about an old friend. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if one of her old friends was a bat, the way she behaved. I liked her well enough as a friend, though.

We sat down, and our feast appeared before us. Lilly narrowed her eyes at her food. "Zabini, I absolutely must investigate what they use in the making of such fodder. What do you think makes these delectable chips so salty?" She said, using her fork to prod her fish and chips. "Hmmm. I don't know. Wait! Maybe it's… salt." I said, rolling my eyes. "Seriously, West, drop the act. We have an important mission to attend to this evening, and we need you to be as sane as possible."

"Fine." Lilly said, taking off her glasses and throwing them across the room. Unfortunately, at that very moment, Cedric Diggory, a third year in Hufflepuff, was rising from his seat, and the glasses hit him square in the back of his head. He looked around for the culprit, rubbing his hair. Lilly ducked down her head, muttering something about "idiots who stand up at the wrong place in the wrong time."

I picked up my fork and was starting on my slice of ham when Professor Quirrell threw the doors to the Great Hall open, and started sprinting to Dumbledore's chair. We all watched, as he leaned against the table, took a deep breath and said something that scared the lights out of me.

"Troll- in the dungeons- thought you ought to know."

And then he fainted.

Pansy Parkinson shrieked, along with every bloody other person in the entire room. Marcus Flint made for the door, and Draco Malfoy hid behind Crabbe and Goyle. As if those two could protect him from a troll.

"Iacio Fireworks!" Dumbledore boomed, his wand spitting out large- and loud-violet fireworks. What was he trying to do to us? Make us go deaf? Like that would help with anything! Still, everyone went silent as he spoke. "Prefects," he roared, "lead your houses back to the dormitories immediately."

Gemma Farley, and our other prefect, whose name wasn't worthy enough for a place in my mind, stood at the head of the table. "Slytherins, follow us," Gemma yelled. She walked down the hallway, and was about to go out the door when she called out "better move quickly, or the troll will eat you."

Lilly looked at me. "We better go, then," she said simply. I nodded and we bolted down the hall after Gemma. As we ran, I studied her face. Her eyes glittered with excitement, but everything else on her face read 'fear'. I kind of liked how she wore her expressions on her face. It's like she wasn't scared to show she was scared. And that was awesome.

The other Slytherins soon came running, and all two-hundred and fifty-something of us ran down into the dungeons, where it smelled like rotting food and cat pee. Lilly gagged dramatically. "God, I swear, if we live through this troll attack, I'm calling the Department of Wizard Health on this place. It stinks!" "You won't live through this if you don't hurry up," Matilda Justice, a fourth year, said, pushing both of us forward.

We ran into the dormitory, where all of the other Slytherins were sitting around. In the corner, Pansy was sobbing. "My life flashed before my eyes! I was this close to dying," she whimpered. Millicent was patting her on the back, and Tracey Davis was offering her a handkerchief. Daphne Greengrass and Esmeralda Twit (what an unfortunate last name…) sat on the ground in front of her, nodding.

Lilly rolled her eyes. "She's such a twit." I nodded. "A twit," I said quietly, "who's going to have to put up with pretending to be in love with Malfoy for six years." Lilly looked at me, and smiled devilishly. "Yes. Yes she will."

Lilly West

All of the first years were back in the common room, waiting for the arrival of Lucifer (the hot one) and Harriet (the NOT hot one). Blaise sat with me on top of one of the benches that were close to the doors- we wanted a head start. "Ice Mice?" Blaise asked, holding out a package of the stuff. "Huh?" I had heard him properly, but I just felt like annoying him.

"I said 'would you like Ice Mice?'"

"Blaise, speak up. I can't hear you."

"Would you like Ice Mice, you git?"

"I can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness."

"You annoy me."

"I know."

We sat in silence until Trestin and Quaint stood up on the coffee table that had been placed in front of the table. "Well, lucky you, First Years," Lucifer said, smiling devilishly, "because of the troll incident, you not only get to hide from Filch, you get to hide from all of the other teachers who are patrolling the hallway."

What? The whole thing was about to get waaaaay more complicated. "Well," I said to Blaise, "might as well drop out now. We don't stand a chance." "We won't be dropping out anytime soon," came his reply.

I zoned back into what the Queen of Slytherin was saying. "…we have your lists here. You must find all of these things before midnight. Instead of trying to bring back everything you find, you just need to use these spells: quod circulus, the circle spell, and quod ostendere, the spell that reveals what you've circled. To perform the circle spell, draw a circle around the object while saying quod circulus." Trestin circled her wand around Lucifer, and I waited for something weird and unplanned to happen. No such luck. Nothing but a green circle appeared, before disappearing back into her wand.

"And when you have found every object, head back here and say quod ostendere. The images of what you've circled will appear. Lucifer and I will check to make sure that there are no cheaters." Harriet stepped down and began handing out our papers. Blaise got his first, and he whistled a low note. "Yep, we will most definitely have to do some searching." The minute Harriet handed me mine, I looked it over.

The flower of 'Fairy's Blitz'

One small House Elf

The mole of a hag

A very old woman

Three different types of swords

A pink owl

A broken crystal ball

Trolls ballet dancing

A hidden passage

A muggle portrait

Good news: I knew where half of the stuff was. Bad news:I had no idea where the other half of the stuff was located.

Lucifer looked each of us in the eye, like he could see into our souls. I was a little creeped out. "So, the first girl and boy back will be in first place, but in order to not be disqualified, you have to at least finish by midnight. You ready?" He asked us. None of us said anything. "Ready… set… GO!" All thirty-six of us surged forward, and out of the dungeon. I swear, I would almost be trampled to death if it weren't for this little weapon I call my fist.

Blaise and I took off in the direction of the courtyard, whereas everyone else took off for Snape's potion closet. What complete and utter idiots.

Blaise looked at me. "The first thing on the list is the flower of the plant 'Fairy's Blitz.'" Waaaait… so that's why everyone was going to Snape's room… "But," Blaise continued, "Fairy's Blitz is an unusually harmless plant that has flowers very similar to roses, just blue. And where are there blue roses?"

"In Professor Snape's potion closet?"

"No, actually. Fairy's Blitz isn't used in any potions. The only Fairy's Blitz plant in the school is in the court yard." We turned a corner, and headed out into the moonlit open space. "Quod circulus" Blaise muttered, circling one of the many blue flowers. I did the same.

"Okay," I said scanning the list for anything else that'd be here. Nothing. The next thing on the list was a house elf. "Where on earth would one find a stinkin' house elf?" I yelled. Blaise pulled me down and put a finger to his lips. "One may find a house elf when one follows a person who knows what she is doing," he whispered, and pointed to a figure daring quietly between the pillars outside of the courtyard.

I squinted trying to make out who the figure was. Frizzy, long brown hair…unusually large… mustache… MUSTACHE! It was Bulstrode! Slowly, Blaise and I tip-toed after her, down a flight of stairs leading under the great hall, only to find her standing in front of a large painting of fruit. "Let's go," I whispered to Blaise, "nobody this thick could have found anything." "No, wait," Blaise breathed. I watched as Millicent started furiously rubbing a pear in the bowl of fruit.

And then something amazing happened: the pear laughed, and turned into a door knob.

I jumped out of the shadows, ignoring Blaise's hands as they tried to yank me back. "Somnum," I whispered, just as Millicent turned around. A bluish mist floated from my wand. "Excuthe me, but what do you think you're doing?" She shrieked. And then she dropped to the floor, snoring. "That was a dirty, rotten, foul, underhanded trick," I said loudly, "and I'm quite pleased with myself for using it."

"Whoa!" Blaise exclaimed, rising to his feet. "What was that?"

"A sleeping spell," I said simply, as if sleeping spells were nothing out of the ordinary for me.

"Where did you learn it?"

"Err… my Grandmother uses it on me to get me to shut up."

Blaise laughed, and the two of us walked over to the painting. Twisting the door knob, I realized that the painting was actually a door… but leading to where? A hidden passage? A swamp? McGonagall's bedroom? Urgh. I shuddered at the thought. We opened it, and I saw… four tables. Pots, pans, cutlery, all glittering and piled by the walls. And house elves, everywhere: cooking, cleaning, and tending to the fireplace on the other side of the room. There were, like, millions.

Okay, maybe just a hundred, but still…

Blaise fade a face. "Filth," he muttered. "Okay, listen up, people, I mean, elves!" I yelled. Every single house elf looked up at the two of us. I felt butterflies whizzing through my stomach. "Um, Blaise?" I asked.

"What?"

"You can handle it from here."

Rolling his eyes, Blaise spoke. "We need the smallest of you to come forth." The house elves (such unintelligent beings) looked at one another. Finally, they all crowded in one place, and after whispering amongst themselves, they pushed forward a tiny elf, no taller than my knee.

"Pl-please don't hurt me, Mister and Miss. I didn't do nothin'- it was all Usil's fault, you see…" "We aren't going to hurt you," I said, more coldly than I'd wanted too. "Just stand still." Blaise and I both drew out our wands. "Quod circulus," we both said loudly. Our circles appeared, and then disappeared a few seconds after.

And then the little elf screamed.

There was an uproar- the elves all started screaming, and running around. Pots and pans flew everywhere, and a few elves began to throw the Hogwarts golden spoons. Blaise looked at me. "We didn't do anything! Why was it screaming?" "I don't know. Panic, probably," I said, "but now there is chaos and disorder. Our work here is done." The two of us hurried out of the room, and closed the secret door behind us.

I looked around- Millicent was gone. Huh. She probably just woke up from the spell early.

"Blaise," I asked, "do you have the time?" Blaise pulled up one of his sleeves and revealed a complex little sliver watch, with about a trillion hands. "It's 9:57. We better get moving. Besides, I know where we can find three different kinds of swords."

11:05. We had found the swords (a hallway where Fred and George Weasley had broken three suits of armor and Filch had to replace them with three new different ones), the crystal ball (Peeves the poltergeist had dropped one in the First Floor Corridor), a pink owl (a key chain on somebody's forgotten book bag),trolls ballet dancing (a tapestry on the seventh floor), a very old woman (the Grey Lady ghost- she was old, and she was a woman), and a muggle portrait (the only painting that didn't move in the castle.)

Now, looking at the list, I realized we only had two things left to find:

3. The mole of a hag

9. A hidden passage

I looked at Blaise. "Where are we going to find both of these things in less than an hour?" Blaise looked like he was thinking, really, really hard (either that or had to go to the washroom, badly.) Finally, he said "I don't know." Just then, Pansy walked by, followed by Daphne Greengrass and Esmeralda Twit (she really did have a horrible last name). She stopped when she saw us. "Hello there, West. Just thought that you'd like to know how many things I have yet to find."

"Actually, no, I don't want to know."

"Well, I'm going to tell you anyway," she said, smiling with glee. "One left!"

I just rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Zabini, let's ditch this Sugar Quill stand." I pulled him by the arm in the direction of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. "I hate her, I hate her, I hate her," I grumbled. And then I walked into a statue, nose-first.

"Ow."

Blaise looked at me, and then at the statue. "Hey, West…" "What?" I growled, rubbing my now-sore-nose. "Look at this old hag's face," he said, wonder in his voice. I walked over to where he was standing. From here, I could see that it was a statue of an old hag, with only one eye. "Whoa..." I breathed. There, right on the tip of the old hag's nose was a mole.

"How awesome am I?" I laughed. "Very awesome," Blaise chuckled. Both of us circled the face. "Where are we going to find a hidden passage?" Blaise asked me. "I don't kno- wait! Blaise, would the wall that leads to the Slytherin Common Room count as a secret passage?" I asked. I knew it was far-fetched, but it was now 11:47, and we were running out of time.

"I don't know, but it's worth a try."

'Meowwwww…"

I looked down at my feet. Mrs. Norris. Gulping I looked up at Blaise. He stared back at me, fear in his eyes. "Who goes there? Mark my words, if it's a Weasley, you be expelled this time!" Filch was never too far behind his beloved cat. "Uh oh," was all I could manage to say.

"Run!" Blaise whispered. We ran back down the stairs and booked it straight to the dungeons.

Upon reaching the wall, we both took out our wands. "Quod circulus!" We both shouted. When both of our circles had disappeared, Blaise muttered "pureblood." The wall moved, and both of us ran into the Common Room, only to find that Pansy was talking to Lucifer. I was ready to stab her. One by one, each picture of something she'd circled was revealed, and I counted ten. She'd found everything.

"I've found everything, Your Highness," she said to Lucifer, her voice dripping with but-kisserie. Pansy turned back and winked at me. "I'm going to kill her," Blaise growled. Lucifer and Harriet looked at the pictures, and then turned to Pansy. "Pansy, I have to say that this is impressive…"

I prepared myself for the tears that I'd shed tonight.

"…but, the beauty mark on the face of your friend Esmeralda doesn't count as 'the mole on a hag', no matter how ugly you think she is. But because of your creativity, you'll still be allowed to participate in the next event, but with an hour-long suspension period."

Yesssssssssssssssssss! I looked at Blaise and hugged him tightly. "We're going to be the first ones with a complete set!" I cried. As Pansy left for her bedroom sobbing, Lucifer shouted "next!" Blaise and I stepped forward. "Quod ostendere," I said, and one by one the things I'd circled appeared as pictures, floating in mid air. Lucifer beamed at me, and I practically melted. He was so gorgeous… "Great job! See you again on December 5th."

"Err… um, thanks," I mumbled, turning red. Lucifer said I did a 'great job'! I stood off to the side and watched as Blaise also got a "great job!" and a "see you again on December 5th!" Blaise walked up the stairs to his dormitory, pausing only to say "goodnight." "'Night!" I called after him, beginning the trek to my own room.

When I got there, I looked around. There was Pansy, facing away from me, her shoulders shaking with silent tears. Boo hoo- cry me a river and then go drown in it. Millicent was there too, still snoring. Someone must have moved her from the basement to her bed. I kind of felt bad for making her sleep, but the whole point of the competition was winning, right? I'd apologize tomorrow, though.

I snuggled, erm, I mean got under my sheets and slept the night away.

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Thanks guys for commenting, it means so much to me!

Also, a big thanks goes out to Google Translate for having an English-to-Latin translator. With out you, Google, my spells would sound very stupid.

As for Lilly winning the competition, she might.

Then again, Pansy could too.

Or someone else…