Alaia Skyhawk: Yeah, a week's wait for this, but I promise to make the wait worth it. Oh, and I'm changing how Hunith ends up at Gaius' chambers... Can you seriously see two guards just ignoring a clearly ill, cloaked woman walking into the castle? I know Camelot's security seems incredibly lax a lot of the time, but seriously. That lax?
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Music: N/A
"Whom History Won't Remember" Episode: N/A
~(-)~
Chapter 75: Le Morte D'Arthur ~Part 3~
It was the sound of the morning bell, a gentle peal unlike the firmer, lower pitch of the Great Bell used to toll the end of the day. It intruded on the edge of his awareness, a faint tickle in his palm causing his fingers to close around the small form of the rabbit's foot resting there.
Merlin opened his eyes, squinting a little at the light of the dawn coming through his window and thoroughly confused. If he was awake then he was alive... but wasn't he supposed to be dead?
He got up and stepped onto the table to look out the window, seeing the people of Camelot starting to go about their usual daily affairs, before stepping down again still puzzled. If a life had to be taken to save a life, and he'd bartered his own, then why did he fell like he always did. He didn't even feel ill, and certainly didn't feel on the brink of death.
A clatter of movement and armour, Gaius' voice urging someone to 'set her down on the bed', jolted him from those thoughts. If a patient had just been brought in, at this time of morning, then the physician was going to need some help.
Merlin hastened out of his room, hurrying to where his mentor stood over someone even as the guardsmen who had brought them up here left the room.
"Gaius."
"Merlin, stay there."
Merlin started to frown at the edge in Gaius' voice, it was a tone he knew meant that the old man didn't want him to see something that would upset him. He ignored the warning and headed to him.
"What's going on?"
"No, don't."
It was a wasted request, for that moment Merlin saw just who it was laid on the bed... It was Hunith, his mother, covered in sores and blisters.
"Mother." He knelt down at her side, his question for Gaius. "What's happened to her?"
The physician looked grim, and deeply disturbed.
"The guards said they found her just outside the gates, and brought her to me at her request. She's gravely ill, and from what I can see this is no normal illness."
Merlin looked lost as to what to do, frantic as he gently brushed a strand of hair out of his mother's face.
"If you were ill, why come here alone? Someone should have come with you."
She set her eyes on his, shivering.
"I was on my way to visit, I just wanted to come see the both of you. I wasn't ill when I left the village. It only happened yesterday."
Merlin felt a chill go through him.
"When yesterday?"
"Sometime during the afternoon. I started to feel ill, and it got worse as the day went on."
Her son went still, the implications clear. Here was the reason he showed no signs of dying in price for Arthur's life.
"This can't happen."
Gaius too understood them, those thoughts on his mind as he turned to his ward.
"Who did you meet at the Isle of the Blessed?"
Merlin, a glint of anger in his eyes, answered.
"Nimueh. It was as you said, she demanded a price, but I bargained my life not my mother's."
Gaius bowed his head.
"Merlin... I wish there was something I could do."
His ward wasn't really listening, Merlin's attention focused on his mother as he took hold of her hand.
"I will make you better, I will."
He sharply rose to his feet, striding out of the room without even a chance for Gaius to ask where he was going. The anger was starting to boil inside him now, changing to fury. He remembered now the strange way the dragon had said farewell to him, about how Arthur must be saved no matter the cost. It was painfully clear now just what the creature had meant.
It didn't take long for Merlin to reach the cave beneath the castle, the ragged flame of the torch he held an apt reflection of jagged emotions going through him when he shouted at the dragon where it lay waiting for him.
"You knew this would happen! You had me trade my mother's life for Arthur's!"
The dragon seemed unmoved, regarding him like a adult regards a small and foolish child.
"You said you would do anything."
Merlin glared at him, the pain of his mother's plight edging into his voice.
"Did you know my mother would die?"
"I knew the price would be a heavy one."
"So you sent me anyway."
The pain was more than just for his mother now, Merlin feeling a tinge of hurt that this creature of magic, someone he'd felt an undeniable connection to, had betrayed him in such a way. It was enough to make that fragile sense of connection shatter. The dragon seemed to pick up on that too, his words clearly an attempt to draw the understanding of reason from the warlock, a warlock on the edge.
"We need Arthur to live."
"I'm not one of you!"
The dragon did not flinch at the shout, his tone still calm.
"We are both creatures of the Old Religion. It is the source of your power."
The words gave Merlin pause, for he knew how close to the Old Magic he was. There had been plenty of times he had sensed it.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The dragon pointed at him with a clawed talon.
"It is your destiny to protect the young Pendragon until he can claim his crown, and when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free."
If the creature had believed the tie between them was enough to make that a good reason, then he was terribly mistaken. Merlin just stared at him, his hurt at the dragon's betrayal of trust turning into the same anger he currently felt towards Nimueh.
"So that's all you cared about? I thought you were my friend."
Golden eyes gazed at him with a knowing smile, oblivious to the rising rage before him.
"I am more than that, Merlin. I am your kin."
Merlin's expression hardened with anger.
"No, the only family I have is my mother, and you had me murder her."
"Her life has not been taken in vain. We will achieve great things together, you and I."
That the last word, that last thing needed to push Merlin over the edge of rage. His shout echoing across the cave.
"You will never be released!" His voice turned cold, tears for his mother in his eyes. "For what you've done, I'll make sure you will never see the light."
He turned to leave, the dragon rising to his feet, wings spread in protest and anger.
"Merlin! No!"
Merlin looked back, seeing the dragon rise to his haunches, sensing the wrath of flames that were about to be unleashed.
"Gescildan!" The barrier of magic formed between him and the dragon, holding back the fires that followed. And when they stopped, he lowered his hand and spoke in quiet promise. "You won't see me again."
And with that he walked into the passage, torch in hand, ignoring the snort of flame that flickered behind him from a dragon who only now might have realised he'd pushed him too far. Whatever trust there had been between them, it was now shattered.
~(-)~
It was growing late before he could bring himself to return to Gaius' chambers, he'd just been too angry to risk going somewhere he might break something. Instead he'd remained, brooding, in the lower levels, until only the distant muffled sound of the bell tolling the late hour, and his own hunger, had him make his way there.
It was a solemn old man who sat waiting for him, one with great sympathy in his eyes as his ward spoke.
"How is she?"
Gaius glanced over his shoulder in the direction of his ward's room, an indication of where he'd placed Hunith after Merlin had left.
"She sleeping."
Merlin came fully into the room, closing the door and to moving to seat himself on a stool near his mentor. Now that anger had faded to a background murmur, more than anything he felt and looked lost and forlorn. The pain and grief of knowing his mother was dying, and that he'd caused it himself with his ignorance, making his breath catch in his throat before he spoke.
"I have to save her."
Gaius sighed, sadly shaking his head.
"You cannot."
Merlin turned tear-filled eyes on him, determined.
"If the balance of the world needs a life, then Nimueh must take mine."
"No, Merlin."
"Yes." He rose to his feet, mind made up. "I will return to the island."
Gaius grabbed him by edge of his jacket, stopping him.
"You are young. Your gifts, your destiny, are far too precious to sacrifice."
Merlin sat down again, staring at him.
"My destiny? I don't care about my destiny as Emrys, not right now. This is my mother. My powers mean nothing if I cannot save her." His expression softened, the unshed tears still there. "You have taught me so much. Taught me who I am. You taught me the purpose for my skills, and how magic should only be used for great deeds... But most of all you have always taught me to do what is right."
Gaius closed his eyes at that, opening them after a moment in plea.
"Merlin."
The tears his ward had been holding back has now left damp tracks on his face, Merlin choking back a sob before rising to his feet.
"I have to go say goodbye to Arthur."
He made his way slowly to the prince's chambers, buying himself the time to dry the moisture on his face and compose himself. Buying himself time to harden his resolve not to break down and cry in front of Arthur, to get a grip on his feelings so that his words wouldn't become choked. It was crazy to think that less than a year ago he'd hated Arthur, and now he was going to willingly give his life up to pay for saving him. It almost too strange to be true, but it was. This would be the last time he would ever speak to Arthur Pendragon, a man who, dare he say it, had become a friend.
"Ah, Merlin, there you are."
The prince only looked mildly surprised to see him enter his chambers, which was a wonder really considering his servant hadn't performed any of his chores since the day Arthur had been bitten. No, they'd all been done by the plethora of additional servants sent back and forth by the king.
Merlin didn't point that out though. In other times he might have been tempted to make a joke out of hinting at it without Arthur realising, but now was not one of those times. Instead he stayed to the point.
"How are you?"
"Good."
He closed the door, watching Arthur cease eating the grapes he'd been picked from a bowl and pick up a goblet of water instead.
"I'm pleased."
Arthur now moved to the chair near the fire, sitting down with drink in hand. Oblivious to the real reason his servant was here.
"Yes, I owe it all to Gaius."
Merlin allowed himself a smile of irony at that. That's how it always was. He saved someone, the kingdom, and somebody else got the credit.
"I need to talk to you."
Arthur, who had been taking a sip from his drink, his left arm bound up in a sling, swallowed his mouthful before speaking. He had one of his slightly condescending smiles on his face.
"You still haven't got it, have you. I decide when we need to talk."
"Not today."
That got a response, Arthur glancing at him a little in surprise.
"I sometimes wonder if you know who I am."
Merlin felt his smile return. He always did enjoy their conversations like this. The verbal sparring that quite likely no other servant would ever get away with.
"Oh I know who you are... You're a prat, and a royal one."
'A royal one'. Now there was a reference to the day after the one they'd met, when Arthur had chased him through the market with a mace. It was enough to get a small laugh out of the prince.
"Are you ever going to change, Merlin?"
The servant shook his head.
"No, you'd get bored." He watched as Arthur put his hand to his wounded shoulder, watched the wince of pain, but still feeling glad he'd saved him. "Promise me this. If you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker."
Arthur didn't look at him, still massaging his sore shoulder.
"If this is you trying to leave your job."
"No." Merlin hesitated a moment, to control the lump that tried to rise in his throat. "I'm happy to be your servant 'til the day I die."
That made the prince turn his head, turn it to see the smile was gone from Merlin's face, and that the servant looked more serious than he'd ever seen him. It was enough to make him frown at the strangeness of it.
"Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times-"
"Well I know you." Merlin sighed. "You are a great warrior. One day you'll be a great king."
Arthur was now looking at him in a distinctly odd way. When had Merlin ever gone out of his way to speak well of him, especially to his face?
"That's very kind of you."
There was a hint of sadness to Merlin's seriousness now.
"But you must learn to listen as well as you fight."
Arthur now looked as though he wasn't sure whether to be uncomfortable or irritated at this conversation.
"Any other pointers?"
Merlin shook his head, bowing it to look at the floor.
"No, that's it." He raised his head again, looking Arthur in the eye. "Just don't... be a prat."
He turned and walked out, leaving a very puzzled prince behind him, only now allowing the tears he'd held back to fall. They near blinded him for a minute, forcing him to retreat into an alcove to get them under control. Choosing to die for Arthur had been difficult before, but saying goodbye before choosing it a second time. It hurt, oh how it hurt, and the part that shocked him the most was that in some ways it hurt more than when he'd lost Will. Whatever it was people said it was his destiny to do, he didn't do it now because he'd been told to. He did it because he really did see Arthur as a friend, a good friend, even if the prince would never admit it.
Coming out of the alcove, Merlin once again took his time making the trip between Arthur's and Gaius' chambers. Once again to allow him to compose himself. He'd made up his mind, and would leave in the morning. And then, then his mother would be saved.
He found Gwen seated at Hunith's bedside when he arrived back, Gaius nowhere to be seen but word from her saying he'd gone out for supplies. Merlin trusted to that, thanking her for looking after his mother.
"You have such a good heart, Gwen. Don't ever lose that." There must have been something about the way he said it that made her regard him strangely, but she left all the same without a further word. Once she was gone, he made his way to the chair and sat down, taking his mother by the hand and giving her a small smile. "I'll make you well again, I promise. You'll see."
Hunith returned the smile, her voice barely above a whisper.
"You're such a good son."
He nodded, reaching out to stroke her head.
"But I don't want you to worry about me. I know the gods will look after me, and one day I will see you again."
It was in both their eyes, the knowledge of what he planned to do, and it was in hers that she knew nothing she said would stop him pursuing it. Instead she gave her support, that of a mother to her son.
"I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too."
He puled the rabbit's foot from his pocket, gently tucking it into her grasp, before moving to the pile of empty sacks in the corner and lying down there. This was their goodbye, a more open but still painful one than that he'd shared with Arthur. But still, he slept through the night and awoke to find her still sleeping peacefully. He didn't wake her, instead quietly picking up a small bag for travel supplies and heading into the main room.
When he got there there was no sign of Gaius, the old man's bed untouched from the night before. Frowning, Merlin went over to the desk where sometimes his mentor left notes for him to explain if he'd had to leave before dawn, and it was there that he saw the folded letter with his name on it.
That alone was enough to make him pause with dread, Gaius never folded the notes and certainly never put his name on them. And that dread was confirmed when he opened it and began to read.
'Dear Merlin. My life is already near to its end. There has for the most part, been very little meaning to it. Very little that will be remembered. In contrast, Merlin, your life is destined for greatness. Live by the tenants I have taught you, and I believe you will in time become the greatest warlock ever. To have known you has been my greatest pleasure, and to sacrifice myself for you is but an honour. You are, and always will be, the son I never had.'
Merlin almost dropped the letter, instead crunching it into clenched fist as his exclamation of denial rang out. Within minutes he was charging out of the city on his horse, in pursuit of the man who had several hours head start on him.
~(-)~
How long had it been since he'd last rode this path? Almost twenty-two years, at a time when he'd carried with him the request of a king. At a time when magic had been welcome in Camelot, at a time when Uther and Ygraine had been struggling for the child they so craved.
Gaius regarded the mist-filled valley below him, regarded the lake at its heart and the spires of the ruined castle that dominated the island within it. Never had he dreamed he'd come here again, and yet here he was. Here to protect Merlin and the future he represented, here to protect the young man he'd come to regard as a son.
He left his white pony at the end of the dock when he reached it, not bothering to tether it and confident Merlin would find it. He knew the young warlock would chase after him, but even if he rode hard he was not likely to arrive in time to stop this. He only hoped now that Merlin would have the sense to accept this, and that Nimueh would pay heed to his destiny and not harm him should he confront her.
It was with a heavy heart that Gaius stepped carefully into the boat, cautiously whispering the spell to send it across the water. He felt the burdens of his coming here ever more the closer he got to the isle, and also the burdens of guilt for turning a blind eye for so long as he had. But now, here and today, he would atone for that. Many in the magical community wished him dead for his past actions, and now they would get that wish.
Before long the boat reached its destination, drifting away back to whence it came as soon as he stepped out of it, as though the magic here sensed he would not be needing it again. He did not watch it go, instead setting himself to ascend the stairway to the courtyard where the central altar lay. Long ago, day or night, there would always have been several priests and priestesses, both normal and high, in attendance at all times, but now... Now it was barren but for the grass among the stones, only a single High Priestess making her appearance when he stopped beside the altar.
"I never thought I'd see you here again."
It was Nimueh, striding towards him with an expression of disdain. Whatever displeasure his being here caused her, he would not falter from his purpose.
"My Lady."
Her pace slowed a little, her head tilted.
"It's been a long time since you've called me that."
He nodded.
"I've come to ask for your help."
Her eyes narrowed, as still she approached him.
"As you once did for Uther? You did not like the outcome."
"I come to offer you the chance to atone for the death of his wife."
Nimueh was now circling him and the altar, her tone reproving.
"I have saved the life of her son, what more do you ask for?"
Gaius took a step towards her, steadfast.
"This time you take a just price. Merlin intends to offer his life for his mother's... I want you to take mine in his place."
She looked surprised for a moment, surprised as she then began to smile and laugh at the irony.
"With all my powers of prediction, I could never have foretold this; Gaius the hero." She stopped, facing him, an tinge of anger in her tone. "Why should I grant your wish? You stood and watched as our friends burned in the Great Purge. You are nothing but a traitor."
Gaius did not falter, did not move from his place at the altar.
"Merlin is the one man who can bring magic back to this land. At Arthur's side he can help forge a new kingdom, a world of peace and beauty that we can only dream of."
Listening, she at last came the remaining distance to the altar, standing before him as though barely believing the words he was uttering, words she would never have envisaged him saying. He who had once turned a blind eye to magic's destruction, now speaking in support of its eventual return.
"And you're willing to give your life, Gaius, for the future they will bring? I'm waiting." Gaius backed up a single step, but then stood firm as she spoke again. "Are you ready to die, Gaius?"
He regarded her solemnly, and nodded.
"For Merlin, I will give my life."
~(-)~
This couldn't be happening, it couldn't! This wasn't how it was meant to be, he'd never meant for anyone to die instead of him. He'd never bargain another's life, never, and yet it seemed like everyone around him was being hurt instead of him.
Merlin's breath came in harsh gasps as he sprinted up the stone stairway from the boat, a boat that had just been drifting back into place at the dock when he'd arrived there. Gaius' pony had been there, snorting nervously when he'd leapt from his mount and dashed past it to the boat before the little wooden craft had even the time to settle to a stop. And now...
Now at the isle, Nimueh's voice echoed around him, his mind translating her words even as he fought to deny them in his heart.
Thee dies, the old man's strength for the religion.
She was repeating them, over and over in shouted call, her hands holding the Cup of Life high when he burst out into the courtyard where the altar lay. And there, laid crumpled against it, was the deathly still form of Gaius.
Nimueh lowered the cup, setting it aside on the altar and taking a few steps towards him.
"Back again so soon, warlock?
He stared at Gaius, then at her.
"What have you done?"
The priestess held herself proud and without regret.
"Your mother is safe. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Merlin still wanted to deny it, even when his sense of life told him that the only living beings within this space were himself and her, that no trace of it came from the old man.
"Did you kill him?"
She was unrepentant.
"It was his wish."
Anger began to rise, frustration at being so powerless to prevent this, fury at what she'd done turning his shout almost to a scream.
"I begged my life for Arthur's, not my mothers, not Gaius'!"
"The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies! Only that the balance of the world is restored." She was pacing towards him, cold. "To save a life a life must be taken. Gaius knew this."
Merlin found his rage stoked even higher by her dismissive words, anger that she could even dare to blame the Old Religion, the Old Magic, for this.
"It is not the Old Religion who has done this, it is you!"
She was smiling slightly, as though implying with her expression his naivety, his ignorance, or both.
"Come now, we are too valuable to each other to be enemies."
His expression was almost a snarl now, the air trembling around him.
"No, I share nothing with you!"
She did not look convinced.
"With my help Arthur will become king."
Merlin shook his head, starting to raise his hand. There was nothing more he wanted right now than to destroy her for all she'd done. The desire for revenge had taken hold completely.
"I will make Arthur king, but you will never see that day. Astrice!"
A golden bolt of power flew from his fingertips, but was caught with apparent ease as she simply placed the back of her hand in its path and absorbed it. It didn't even make her flinch.
Her eyes then narrowed at the attack.
"Your childish tricks are useless against me. I am a priestess of the Old Religion. Forebe!"
As she's spoken a ball of fire had begun to form in front of her hand, even before she uttered the incantation that completed it and sent it in his direction. Merlin was forced to dive out of the way, shaken by her skill and the fact it blasted a sizeable hole in the wall behind him. He'd read in his book that sorcerers could learn to start spells silently, but it had also been made clear that such individuals were rare and always extremely powerful.
Even so, he couldn't bring himself to be scared of her, his anger was too much for that. Instead he continued to glare as he regained his feet, a sweep of his hand and a glow of eyes wordlessly grabbing a piece of stone that had fallen from the struck wall and throwing it at her.
But his aim was off, Nimueh not even having to side-step it as she smirked and prepared another fireball.
"You too are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me."
Merlin slowly shook his head in refusal.
"You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never."
Nimueh lifted her chin at that, haughty.
"So be it... Akwele!"
This time he didn't manage to dodge, the burst of flame striking him in the middle of the chest and sending him flying backwards. It was only his own magic that prevented the same damage from the wall from being done to him, but even so his clothing smouldered where he'd been struck, scorched through to the flesh beneath.
She came and stood over him as he lay there groaning in aftermath, seeming disappointed.
"A pity, Emrys. Arthur will have his Albion, but together you and I could have ruled the world."
She turned away heading back to the altar, dismissive of the as yet still inexperienced sorcerer Merlin was. She would not kill him, but had no further interest in him. As she had said of Arthur, it was not his fate to die at her hand.
But for Merlin, gritting his teeth as he pushed himself back to his feet, his entire body shaking from the impact of her spell, it wasn't over. If he had been furious and enraged before, it was incomparable to what he felt now as he regained his balance and fixed his gaze on her. The magic in the air, all the magic in the island, started to tremble in reaction, thrumming with promise of retribution at the deathly words passing quietly from his lips.
"You should not have killed my friend."
Sensing the change in him, Nimueh turned, her eyes registering surprise and confusion when he thrust the palm of a hand up at the clouded sky. And then that sky shuddered and the clouds turned the black of a storm, thunder booming before Merlin's hand descended to point at her dragging a pure white bolt of fury down out of the sky.
The lightning struck her, Nimueh shrieking in shock before with a last scream she exploded to ashes and was gone... And then all was silent and still, and with his eyes now moving to his fallen mentor, her slayer rushed to to the old man's side.
Merlin dropped down beside him, turning Gaius over and cradling him in his arms, tears welling up in his eyes to mirror the rain that started to pour down. But the physician didn't response to his calls, didn't respond to the frantic shaking of his frail form, and through it all Merlin felt no life in him through his touch.
He broke down into grief, wailing to the sky, while inside him he wished more than anything he could give Gaius his life back. It wasn't meant to be like this, he'd offered the life of his own, not anyone else's! But Nimueh had decided to take his mother instead, and then Gaius had given his to save her so he wouldn't have to. It just wasn't fair!
Merlin slumped over his mentor, crying into the front of Gaius' robe, still wishing over and over in his heart for the old man to live. He still needed him, still needed his advice. He couldn't hope to fulfil his destiny if he didn't have his mentor to turn to. Gaius had to live, he had to.
Too lost in pain to feel it, too lost in grief to be aware, Merlin knew not what his will and magic did in those moments. He knew only his sorrow and regret, not sensing the return of life until the old man moved slightly in his grasp and a weary and confused old voice murmured.
"Merlin?"
The young warlock loosened his grip, lifting his head and staring when he found Gaius looking at him. Chilled flesh was warming again, even as the physician shivered at the wet of the rain.
"Gaius? Gaius you're alive!"
Merlin pulled his mentor into a fierce hug, Gaius wincing at the force even as he tried to make sense of what was going on.
"What did you do?"
His ward was smiling as he released him, elated and relieved even as part of his mind put the pieces together.
"Nimueh's dead. The balance of the world has been restored."
Gaius closed his eyes for a moment, still to weak to move but proud none the less.
"You amaze me. You've mastered the power of life and death itself." He let out a single small laugh. "We'll make a great warlock out of you yet."
Merlin was still smiling.
"So you believe in me now?"
Gaius gave him a long look.
"I would if you could stop this blasted rain."
The both of them started to laugh in relief, the rain still pouring down until gradually it lessened and ceased. That was when Merlin helped Gaius up, supporting him back to the boat so that both of them could return home. Back to everyone, to his mother, who would be waiting for them.
~(-)~
Alaia Skyhawk: Well, I was tempted to try make the fight more epic, but then I had to admit that Merlin at this point still doesn't know enough to get into that sort of thing with any finesse. So I went with the original, tweaked a couple of lines, had him throw a rock at her and miss terribly, and it's in the sub-ep after the elation wears off that he'll realise just exactly what he did... For those who have read Motives, you know where this is going.