Spoilers: obviously content from the games including the Ending.
For the most part this will follow ME lore, just adding and adapting.
Rated M since i don't want to limit what i can and can't do as the story progresses.
Home
"Kaidan we have an incoming message, it's from the council." Joker said exited.
"Well put them through!" Kaidan was relieved finally they where close to home.
"Spectre Alenko! Now you're a sight for sore eyes."
Wait was that Wrex? Can't be Kaidan thought. "Wrex? Is that you?"
"Sure is, Spectre. Those Pyjaks must have been hit on the head a few to many times. You know what the best thing is?" Wrex roared.
"Ehm you can now make demands?" Kaidan was confused this isn't normal is it.
"Nope I can tell a Spectre what to do. You're mine now Alenko." Wrex laughed.
"Okay Wrex you had your fun now where is the real council?" Kaidan didn't believe someone would give that Krogan a seat on the council.
"You're talking to the council, actually tell Liara her father is on it as well. Oh and Shepards mom too. Actually Hannah want's you to report in the second you get here. We need to talk Kaidan it's... Well just come to the Destiny Ascension." Wrex got serious all of a sudden.
"Okay Wrex but I have to drop of some refugees we picked up from the Iktomy first."
"We have people for that here on the ship, so just move your ass over here." The krogan cut the communication off.
"Hannah The Normandy has docked." Wrex stood before her.
"Kaidan will be brought here. I'll go and join Hacket for the debriefing of the crew."
"Thanks Wrex." Hannah looked at the floor.
"You're sure you want to do this alone?" Wrex wasn't sure anymore if this was a good idea.
"I have to Wrex." She raised her head. Then she took two glasses and a bottle of Whiskey.
"Okay but don't drink everything without me!" The Krogan snorted and left her alone.
Kaidan hadn't expected this. The moment they docked with the Destiny Ascension the whole crew was escorted to a debriefing. They hadn't even had time to see the refugees taken care of before being escorted away.
Kaidan got pulled aside by a Salarian Spectre. "Special meeting" the Salarian had said.
Now he was standing in the private quarters of Shepards mother.
"Admiral." Kaidan Saluted.
The woman stood with her back towards him hunched over a desk.
"First don't call me that, second don't even think about calling me Councilor. Stop the saluting and crap. I can't take it anymore." She didn't even turn around to face him.
"Ma'am, What should I call you then?" Now he was unsure what this was all about.
"Hannah, I would prefer to stick to first names." Her voice was a bit unstable.
"Okay Hannah, then please call me Kaidan."
"Kaidan please sit, I need to talk with you. I..." She took a deep breath. "I hope you like Whiskey." She poured two glasses. Wen she finally turned around to face Kaidan he felt a horrible feeling creeping up on him. The woman looked as if she had been crying.
"It's about Shepard isn't it?" He hoped he would be wrong.
"Yes he is... he's..." She just couldn't bring herself to say it.
"No, it can't be. Is it absolutely sure?" He felt a pain tearing through his body.
"It's him. I even asked for a second DNA test to be sure. He's gone." She looked Kaidan in the eyes. Damn she had those same blue eyes as John.
"Look at me" echoed through Kaidans head.
"I don't know what to say. He is.. was... No it's not right. He saved us all and now this?" Kaidan gave in to the tears. "But why tell me? Why not at the debriefing?" Kaidan was confused.
Hannah drank her glass empty in one big gulp. "Kaidan he considered you to be his friend. Did he ever tell anyone why he joined the Alliance?"
Kaidan thought about it for a while. "No actually he never mentioned it really, I always thought it was because you and his father where Alliance."
"No nothing as simple as that.
Back wen he was a kid John only had one close friend. Another boy about the same age, Mikael I believe his name was. Anyway for a few years Mikael and John where always doing things together fooling around. It was actually nice to see him have some fun for a change, space life can be dull for kids at times. Wen john was 16 Mikael's parents where transferred to Mindoir. After a while John wanted to go visit his friend, so I arranged to take him with me while the ship I was serving on was near Mindoir. John would have gotten a shuttle ride to the planet and spent a few weeks there, just it never came to that."
She poured herself another glass of Whiskey.
"Before we even came close to the system a distress call reached us. Batarian raiders attacked Mindoir. John never got to see his friend again. That day John swore to join the Alliance."
"Wait he lost his friend at Mindoir? But..."
"The day John turned 18 he signed up with the alliance. We didn't speak often after that anymore, he only focused on the Alliance. I think he never got over his friends death. He never let anyone get really close to him anymore, John was dead set on stopping horrible things like Mindoir from happening again."
Kaidan suddenly understood why John hat never shown mercy towards Batarians.
"Back wen he was incarcerated by the alliance we spoke a bit. Well actually Lieutenant Vega slipped messages past alliance officials for us. It became clear to me that John had some horrible guilt issues.
After he was back on the Normandy he called a few times."
"Yeah, I kind of found a letter you sent him." Kaidan felt guilty.
"The last time we spoke he hung up after we where both getting a bit louder about our opinions." She looked at her glass between her hands. "The last time I spoke with my son was not good."
"I'm sorry Hannah. But why are you telling me all of this?" Kaidan put a hand on hers.
"The few times we did talk he always spoke of you. It almost destroyed him after meeting you at Horizon. He was happy wen you recovered from your injuries and joined him on the Normandy. I just wanted to know who the person was that made him enjoy life in the end."
Kaidan saw flashes from Shepard before his eyes. Always the tinniest hint of a smile that one moment before he became serious. The guilt in his eyes wen he looked at him.
"Kaidan you have to go!" Kaidan saw his dream flash up before his eyes, that warm smile in Shepards face.
"Look at me!" Kaidan felt a feeling of warmth rise before cold despair could take a hold of him.
Tears filled his eyes.
Suddenly he had the urge to see Shepard. If just to make himself clear that this time he was really gone. "Hannah? Could i say goodbye to him?"
His words had startled her. "He isn't really, I mean he... its... horrible."
Kaidan thought about it a moment. "I really need to see him. Otherwise something inside of me would always wonder if it was him."
She nodded. "His body is stored here until the funeral." She whispered.
"I'll come back after I said goodbye." Kaidan promised. Deep in his hart he hopped someone really screwed up. That it wasn't Shepard.
Wen Kaidan was brought to a large table with a body bag on it he really hoped it was all just a nightmare. Shouldn't the hero normally win, survive and live happily ever after? Okay those stories usually involve Dragons and princesses, but whoever wrote those never had seen a reaper.
Wen the bag was opened a blackened burned body appeared. Kaidan couldn't look at it.
"Look at me!" Shepards voice was screaming inside of his head.
Kaidan looked he had to. Burned, molten. The armor badly damaged and scorched. It looked like parts had molten under the extreme heat and melted together with parts of Shepards implants. He couldn't even tell it was Shepard for certain. Just the dog tags around his neck made the body's identity clear.
Kaidan grabbed the Salarian doctor. "There is no doubt?"
The Salarian took the chart. "Heavy burns, every bone in his body broken. Most plausible cause of death high force explosion with long exposure to fire. Also massive amounts of implants all destroyed by extreme heat. Ran DNA test twice no doubt. It's Shepard."
"What killed him?"
"Hard to say for sure, most likely impact from explosion would have been sufficient. At the very least the fractures suggest it was hard enough that he wasn't conscious after that." The Salarian looked sorry. "If that's all, patients need me."
"Yeah thanks doc. Just wanted to be certain." Kaidan touched the burned face. "Shepard I'm sorry."
Kaidan left and went back to Hannah, together they could morn.
That evening everyone met in the Normandy's recreation room. Diana Allers had said she promised Shepard a Beckenstein wake.
At some point all of them had given in to drinking as it would have been the thing Shepard had wanted. One chair at the bar was kept empty with a glass filled with expensive Brandy in front of it. Allers had said it was a gift for the death. At some point Garrus had raised a glass and made a toast to Shepard. "May he not be alone waiting at the bar for long."
After a few hours Kaidan was alone sitting on the floor looking in to the empty void of space.
He had already mourned Shepard the first time, but Shepard had been revived back then. Why couldn't he just come back again. Kaidan refused to believe it was truly the end.
"Kaidan! Look at me!" Shepard smiled.
"Shepard, I... I'm sorry."
"Pscht Kaidan it's alright." Shepards smile was warm and friendly.
"Shepard, I ...I..."
"Kaidan? Will you finally look at me?"
"I am looking at you!"
"No Kaidan look closely!" Shepard raised his hand and lay it on his chest near his heart."
"Hey, Kaidan wake up!"
"What? Damn another dream."
"Wake up sleepyhead!"
"Kasumi what the hell are you doing here?"
"Look I was hired to break in to someplace. But I figured, that was before the Normandy came back. Now I know this isn't as exiting as breaking in to the councils chambers but well." The thief had a naughty smile around her lips.
"Wait what are you talking about. Damn i feel like crap, could you start making sense now?"
"Okay, here. I was Hired to deliver it to a certain human councilor." Kasumi handed Kaidan a small item wrapped in leather. "Funny thing is I never had to steal something once and deliver it twice before..."
Kaidan opened the leather wrapping and a ring appeared in his hand. "What I don't understand."
"Remember the party on the Citadel? Garrus had asked me to steal that ring from Shepard. Look on the inside."
Ashley
Mordin
Thane
Legion
and the image of the Normandy
"Wait you stole it from Shepard?"
"Yes, Garrus wanted to engrave those names in. Returned it the next day to him."
"So why do you have it now?"
"Funny thing, someone found it on the Citadel. Between a large pile of debris. The intresting part is Shepard always wore it on his dog tags."
Kaidan's dream flashed before his eyes "Look at me" Shepards hand moving to his chest. He jumped up. Kasumi where was the ring found? And where was the Body found?"
"Don't know the details but you might want to ask a certain Aria T'loak. She hired me to deliver it to Shepards mother."
Kaidan hugged Kasumi "Thank you!"
"Hey and about the ring don't mention it to anyone. Might ruin my reputation as a thief."