Thank you all for reviews much appreciation to you all(:

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi -_-

CLARE'S POV

Life is getting to be pretty damn good KC has been around more then ever he goes to work at seven and is home at 5:30 his real work hours.

I feel like I have my family back she must have left him I pray he left her I still have hope it is possible for him to change maybe he is thinking about us for once.

"Honey I was thinking tomorrows Saturday we should take the kids to the zoo?"

"That sounds fantastic! Doesn't it kids oh KC this is going to be so much fun!" the kids were excited, but I was much more excited to the point where it was a bit too much but can you really blame me I can tell you how many years it's been since we went out as a family.

We all went to bed early that night and woke up early heading off to the zoo everything was perfect until I noticed KC he was starring at a young women early twenties she was his type; young. I turned my head and pretended not to see it.

I wasn't about to let him ruin my day I felt like I was having an amazing dream but my damn alarm clock kept beeping bringing me bad to a cold reality, I kept my composer because that's how I was raised you don't make a scene in public.

But I never made a scene even behind closed doors I always bit my tongue I felt things were good why rock the boat?

The day continued and it was good KC was holding me everything was great we went out to eat and then went home I put the kids to sleep. Then I went up to KC I layed beside him and he started to kiss my neck I turned over toward him.

We made love; the way we use to slow we took our time we enjoyed each other it felt amazing I missed this when me and KC are together I feel like everything is good I feel wanted needed loved. It took this to make me realize I could never leave him no matter how many other women he's had I need him I love him I have no idea how to survive with out him but maybe things will be okay this time.

Maybe I could be good enough now maybe he won't go to other women, it has been three weeks now.

It was a week later KC had come home early the kids were out so we went upstairs we made love again; only this time I wouldn't call it making love it was nothing like the last time everything was rushed the faster he wet the more I felt my throat closing up I felt like I was loosing him again and I knew I was. When you're up this high it's a sad good bye, that's exactly what this was.

He had found another her did I fail to mention that tends to happen often the whore breaks it off because she realizes he would never leave his wife and I get my husband back well until he finds another whore that will sleep with him.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by KC kissing my forehead he said he was sorry the office wants him back I felt my head spinning out of control

"I need you please don't leave me" oh how bad I wanted to say that to him but couldn't I couldn't comprehend what was happening my throat was completely dry I felt he was so close but he was slipping right through my fingers I could catch him.

He walked down the stairs and I watched until I could gain my voice then I said

"Don't you wanna stay here a little while? Don't you wanna hold each other tight? Don't you want to fall a sleep with me tonight?"

"Clare I'll be back baby don't worry" don't lie to me I was screaming in my head but outside my voice wouldn't come out and he took that opportunity to leave; leave me with my shattered hopes, dreams, wishes, and prayers he took the opportunity to leave me.

I went back up stairs and made the bed I started talking to my self.

"don't wana just make love I wana make love last" I silently sobbed I could leave him I could pack our stuff ad walk out the door and never look back I could get a small apartment across town with the kids; start over.

But I don't, I don't pack up my things or the kids things I don't call my mother to tell her I'm unhappy I don't look at available apartment I don't. what I do is I go down stairs and I scrub the floor.

I scrub the floors the walls everything there's only one thing I can't scrub clean; me my marriage. I'm the dirtiest thing in the house now and I know it so I sit on the floor hugging my knees crying and thinking to my self what happen to me.

ELI'S POV

I got home early I picked up Rachel and we and we went to pick up dinner for mommy. She wasn't feeling good this morning so she called off work and stayed home.

When we got there she ran to tell mommy about her day with grandma when we got into the house all the lights were off I turned them on and went up stairs Julia wasn't there I don't know where she would've went she's sick.

I went intro our bed room no sign of her I dropped onto the bed there was a note.

I'm so sorry but I can't do this anymore I can't lie to you Rachel and my self I hope one day you'll understand

-Julia

The writing was kind of smudged I didn't understand I didn't want to understand I went to the closet and her clothes were gone. No

I went to the drawers her clothes were gone from there as well. No

I went to the bathroom and did a once over on the whole house all of Julia's things were gone everything down to the old knickknacks. No! No! No!

How could she do this to me to Rachel, Rachel what am I supposed to tell my little girl when she asks where is mommy how the hell am I going to raise a little girl by myself.

I don't know the first thing about little girls its ruined everything is ruin and it's all her fault, why would she do this; just leave selfishness. All of a sudden I felt sick

I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything I'd eaten today I could stop puking I was dry heaving now I felt like I was throwing up what I didn't have in me, because I was.

I finally stopped I slid down the bathroom wall next to the toilet. That's when I saw it.

"Son of a bitch!" I kicked the garbage container holding the root of all evil in my eyes it was the most proof yet of Julia's infidelity it was a first response box I recognize it from when I bought the exact same one for Julia when we found out we where having Rachel.

I bent down to see the stick it had a plus sign of course Julia and I both know very well the baby couldn't possibly be mine because we haven't had sex in a dog's age I felt anger take over me again.

"son of a bitch" I screamed again only this time I knocked everything off the bathroom counter it felt damn good until I got to the end when I saw my little angel Rachel she looked terrified she had tears in her eyes.

"Daddy stop you're scaring me" she screamed her little voice cracked because of her tears then she ran to her bed room. Great now she thinks I'm a monster how am I going to do this I'm on my own now oh dear god give me the strength

This is the longest chapter even more then chapter one just b/c you guys are reviewing so review please in this Eli isn't atheist he doesn't go to church but he believes in god that doesn't really matter but I don't want anyone to say wait Eli's atheist he would say god give me the strength blah, blah REVIEW PLEASE AND THANK YOU…again