Ch 2

P.O.V KIRA YAMATO

I felt her eyes follow me as I walked away and I could still hear her sobs, but they seemed so far away, like echoes from another dimension. I was too caught up in Athrun to actually give a damn to what is happening around me. even the happenings of the past few minutes could not influence me, true I could not spend much time in the one place that gave me solace because of that girl but just the fact that I was closer to him, not as close as I would like but as close as I could get was a strange solace. He was still there somewhere, watching over me, I am sure of that. A childish belief I know but it always makes me feel a little better, given me a bit of strength to keep up my perfect charade.

Okay fine I admit it's not all that perfect but it is all I can manage. Had it not been for that tiny ray of hope that death has but made us closer, I probably would curl up somewhere, preferably by his grave and wait for death to take me too.

The only other thing that still kept me alive was the fact that I had to live for his parents if not mine. I was their only solace, I knew. I did my best to console them and make them face life but it was agony to me. To just go to his house every day without fail and get reminded that he is not there anymore, to hold his mother while she cried her out when all the time praying that I would not break down, to hear his father speak out his regrets and break down, knowing all the time that I did not have the same luxury was pure hell.

My parents too have felt his absence quite deeply, for while he was alive we had been like brothers. My mother still cries for him, my father still has a heavy heart, though he tries his best to not show it to me. They are both suffering as much as his parents but even all of it put together and compared to mine was like comparing a single tree to an entire forest.

Lucky for me school was still more or less the same. People have moved on, athrun's presence has begun to fade but so has mine. For the past seven months, ever since the day I heard the news I have changed. That is probably the understatement of the century if you ask my class mates so I'll put it this way, ever since the day I heard that he had died, I knew that he did not die alone, I had died with him. For the first month, I had lost it, completely; I had spent every minute by his grave, and dissolved in my own pain. People had tried to console me and make me understand, but how could I? Athrun and me were one and the same, we have been together from the day I remember and living without him was pointless. My parents initially tried to mix sleeping pills in the little food or water that I took, and carry me home when its effect took me over. It wasn't much though for I would wake up and head straight back and then realizing what had happened I altogether refused to eat, even for the basic sustenance. That was when his mother spoke to me. She told me that now that Athrun was gone, I had more responsibilities. She told me that if Athrun had had the choice to choose someone to live for him, he would have chosen me, with that she had broken down. That was the first time that I consoled her. I had then driven her home in her car and after she was in safe hands I had headed back to the grave, but this time, I knew that something had changed. I knew that she had been right and that I had to take care of her. It felt like that was what he would want of me. So that night instead of staying there, I went back home and curled up on my own bed. Ever since then I have been there for both my parents and his. I have done my best for them; I have tried my best to be strong. And ever since that day I have bottled up my pain deep within me, and have now slipped into a sort of monotonous routine. Life was now the same everyday, it would start with visiting him, to going to school, to visiting his parents, then going home, sometimes consoling my parents, sometimes just sitting there fighting control, after which I would go back to him and spend hours there and finally return home this time to succumb to misery in the darkness of my room.

"Mr. Yamato?" someone pulled me back from my thoughts. I looked up to see my teacher looking right back at me. This was a first! Every one has ignored me in the school for quite a while now. Well to be honest I had ignored everyone and people have just given up on me.

"Mr. Yamato!" my teacher called again, this time a little louder. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts and then stood up. The teacher's expression changed as he read my face, probably seeing the haunted look in my eyes for no matter what I did, I could not conceal them. I could not find my voice, so I just settled for looking at him.

"We have been discussing the upcoming science project" he said, knowing that I had not heard a word that had been said. I still did not know what to say, so I waited for him to continue, and continue he did.

"We have divided the entire class into groups of two" he said, then waited for me to say something, which I obviously did not.

He sighed then said. "Everyone has chosen their respective partners so that has left you with miss. Clyne"

That one word was enough to get me to answer. "Why her? Why not some one, anyone else?" I asked looking around to glare at her and then I realized that she was not there. My voice had been rough from lack of use and the hatred I felt radiated around me. The teacher, god knows what his name is, for he is new looked taken aback.

"As I already told you everyone else has already been paired up" he said

"Then I am not interested" I shot back immediately.

"You have little choice Mr. Yamato, now I must hurry to my next class, I will talk to you later" with that he walked out of the class. Leaving me seething and fighting for control as my entire body shook. I walked out of class followed by more than a dozen pairs of curious eyes and sub consciously headed straight for the grave yard where I settled next to the familiar cold stone and let the tears flow freely.

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