Chapter 30: "Blind Side ~Under Blue Sky~ Part I"
(Warning: This chapter contains sexual content. If you are offended by such content, or do not like to see yuri pairings, you may wish to skip this chapter.)
...W-What?ǃ Souka seeing me in that way...?ǃ
No! Unacceptable! Absolutely unacceptable!
"W, we're both female, Souka! Such a thing is not something that we should be doing!" I stammer it out the best that I can.
"So?" comes her usual coolheaded reply, with a shrug of her shoulders. The smirk – no, the death's head grin – still as firm over her face as ever.
"Idiot, s-so we can't do that!" I explain.
"Says who?" She blinks.
"Society!"
Souka laughs. "Tohno, I don't know what old-fashioned values your father drilled into your head, but those sorts of things are acceptable now. Well, it's not like you can just kick your heels out and say it... not that it stops some people from doing that... but it's not like you're gonna get your head cut off for liking other girls."
"It's not acceptable for me!" No! I am not interested in girls that way...!
"Oh? But you want love, don't you?" Death approaches a little closer.
"...W-Well, yes, but not fr–"
Another kiss. My eyes widen, and I manage to push her away. Please... please don't do this, Souka. Not now. Not today, of all days...!
She pulls away as she's pushed. "What's the matter, Tohno? Afraid?" The grin, still there. "There's nothin' to be afraid of. If you gave me five minutes, I bet you wouldn't be thinking of going anywhere..."
"N-No! Such things are done between a man and a woman!" Or at the very least, not between myself and Souka!
"Your point, Tohno?" She asks coolly.
"You're a woman, Souka, and so am I!"
"...And?" She blinks, not understanding. Doesn't she get it...ǃ?
"And you don't see anything wrong with that?ǃ"
"To be honest, nope." She shrugs.
...How do I get out of thisǃ?
I try the only way I can. I walk off, to try to leave the patio.
I take two steps, before my vision suddenly swoons. I stumble, trying to regain my balance, but to no avail. About the best I can do is to catch myself as I fall to the ground.
...All the strength is leaving my body... Is... is something happening...? Such sudden weakness...
"C'mon, Tohno. I think it's time you got a little bit of education. I don't know what sort of nonsense that old man of yours put into your head... but it's pretty clear he gave you some wrong ideas."
The grin has actually faded from Souka's face... in its place, is a combination of pity... and a little of a look of desire. Of someone who wants... something.
But that thing... that's not something Souka is supposed to have...
"...Souka, stop this..." I try to reach for her again... but...
...G-Gah. I have no strength in my body. Sitting up is taking effort, but pushing her away... my arms feel like there is no power in them at all.
"You won't be saying that in a few minutes, Tohno. Promise. Just relax, alright...?"
I can feel her hands rubbing the bottoms of my legs, slowly moving up underneath my dress. I try to push away, but my body responds slowly, sluggishly, as if I had just run for hours.
Am... am I being... raped? By a girl? By Souka, of all people...?
No, impossible, Souka had no access to the drinks. Kohaku was the one who deliv–
…...I look back into my room.
A smiling Kohaku is standing in my open doorway, watching the scene unfold. When she notices that I have seen her, she smiles, bows, and closes the door.
"…...Aproned Devi–"
My thoughts get interrupted as I feel fingers other than my own touching my underwear. My anatomy.
"Khn–?ǃ" I try to jerk my hips away, but it's of little use. Souka has moved to minimize my ability to get away... and Kohaku's little treachery means they will only barely obey my mind's will.
"Ah, there we are Tohno. It feels a little strange at first, doesn't it?" Her fingers, tracing along the bands. Feeling places that her fingers are never meant to touch.
With intention, the fingers rub the fabric into my sensitive flesh. I try my best to squirm away, but it is of little use.
Kohaku... has drugged me with something. To keep my mind sharp, but to weaken me physically...
...To set me up for this... for something I don't want, at all, with Souka...
Is... is Souka in on this?ǃ For what other reason would she be doing–
"...!"
A finger rubs against a very sensitive spot indeed. My body involuntarily curls up slightly.
"Wow... sensitive. Do you even touch yourself, Tohno?" Her finger rubs, curiously, against the small bump.
"Th... That's... none... of your concern...!" I try my very best to push her away.
"...Wow... never even masturbated? Are you kidding, Tohno?ǃ" Souka sounds absolutely stunned.
I do not reply. I just try to get away, but this causes her to just invade my privacy even more. She moves in even more, further minimizing how much I can actually move.
"Well, that has to change. That has to change now." With this, she rubs with even more intention.
A sharp gasp leaves my mouth without me controlling it.
This thing...
…...Why is Souka doing this thing?
What she's doing... it's making me feel strange...
We are both female! We should not be doing this! This, this is wrong!
If only I had the strength to push her away, I could stop this. I could easily do so if I allow the other side of me to take over... I could stop her–
"...Nghaaa?ǃ"
A strange sound out of my lips.
Souka has moved my underwear aside, and is rubbing my flesh directly now. A small, sensitive bump, that is feeling warmer and warmer with each careful prod and contact with fingerprint-ridged fingertips.
"Mgghhh, hnnnnngh...!" It is the only noises I can make. Words fail to form.
"Oh? Is that starting to feel good, Tohno?" She asks with that same grin, her fingers changing placement to rub it from a different direction.
...No... it's... strange...
My body shivers slightly, and it feels like air does not stay in my lungs. My body weight settles back a little bit more, leaving me only propped up on my elbows, watching as Souka invades my privacy in one of the worst ways someone can invade a girl's privacy.
...But...
I'm... starting to feel a little hot... and that heat feels good...
…...N-No, I shouldn't like this...! I, It is still Souka doing this to me, not a boy... e-even if she looks like one, that's not the same thing...
Souka grins. "Just close your eyes and relax. It'll be all worth it." Her eyes look into mine with a slight smile, one telling me to just focus on the feelings.
Breathing's hard... I can't catch my breath...
"...Nghh..." N-No... e, even my body is betraying my mind... th-that noise, it's filthy...
Her fingers rub carefully. They're... focusing on that sensitive part... the clitoris...?
It's... growing...?
I feel it changing... it's... filling with blood, I think.
...I'm... getting aroused? Why...? Souka's female... Only males should...?
"There we go, Tohno. Now you're getting into it." I hear her laugh a little.
…...Why am I getting into it? I shouldn't... should I...?
…...Is this something I should be liking...?
Because, it's... starting to feel nice…...
I feel her carefully pinch my anatomy, and slowly rub it between her thumb and index finger, squeezing slightly. As if replying automatically to some unspoken command, my hips push into her hand more, and I feel blood racing through the part that is lightly pinched between her fingertips.
"...That..."
…...That's... good…...
Souka's laugh sounds a little distant. "Yeah. There we go." She says it almost like she's cooing.
My eyes close. I can feel the urges to fight this fading, as the heat in my body increases...
My body is simply saying to just lay back and enjoy this... even if it is from another girl...
If... being touched... if it's this nice, then...
A sigh escapes my lips without my will. The air moves out of my lungs before I even notice it doing so.
"Feels good, doesn't it, Tohno?" Her fingers don't stop. Rolling, lightly pinching, her fingers rubbing sensitive flesh that I didn't even know existed save for an accidental graze after using the bathroom.
"...F-Feels... intense…..." My mouth says the words before I can check them.
It... does feel intense... but... in a pleasant way I've never experienced. This... this isn't sex, though, because Souka hasn't penetrated me... so what is it...?
Souka's fingers roll my swelling flesh between them, and she suddenly rubs on a spot that's highly sensitive on the underside.
"KHHNN––!" My hips jerk up hard into them before I can even register their movement. M, My body isn't even waiting for my mind to order it now.
"Oh? Sensitive there, huh Tohno? Most girls are." She says it with a slight laugh.
Her finger rubs up and down, the small ridges of her fingerprints providing a deliciously bumpy surface. Sensations blast throughout my body from the small piece of flesh that she holds in her fingers. Every time she does, it's like a lightning bolt traveling up my back, directly to my brain, paralyzing the ability of the mind to communicate with the body.
"...Hahhhhh... hahhhhh... ahhhhh..." I can't help but pant every time a new bolt is sent up my back from what she's doing.
"Mmmmmm... you sound hot like that, Tohno. Pant a little louder for me." She pinches my anatomy firmly in her fingers.
With a sharp GASP, my hips once more push themselves at her before I even realize they moved...
...And then... I feel wetness.
My eyes pop open, and I look down. Souka definitely has her hand up my dress.
"S-Souka... Did... did I just...?ǃ I-I didn't intend to...!"
…...She looks up at me a bit sadly.
"…...…Wow... you... really don't know anything about this at all, Tohno... no wonder…..."
I blush slightly in embarassment. I guess now it's something girls are expected to know, somehow...
"You didn't pee. You're wet. You want sex." She says it matter-of-factly, as another finger traces along the edges of the wet spot.
…...It conforms to my vagina.
"...B, but you are not male, Souka. I, the one time I walked in you changing confirmed that... unless you..."
Souka laughs like this is the funniest thing she heard in a long time.
"Nah, I'm no dickgirl, Tohno. No interest in sewing one of those things to me... well, permanently, anyway." She says it with a slight grin that implies knowledge of something... but it's knowledge I lack, so all I can do is blink.
"...Th... Then how can you... do that...?" Is all my confused mind can muster at the moment.
"Heh... thought you'd never ask..."
"...Huh? Ask you wh–"
As I attempt to ask the question, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do to her friend, Souka calmly pulls the crotch of my underwear off to one side, and pushes a finger in very slightly.
I gasp, and my eyes widen. Instinctively, I can feel the muscles clamp down and squeeze on the intruder.
"Like this, Tohno. See? A finger works fine. Well, it's not as good as the other stuff, but it can do some tricks you wouldn't believe..."
In. Out.
It moves.
In. Out.
A squeeze.
In. Out.
My head falls back to the ground, and my eyes close as if it were a natural thing to do.
In. Out. In. Out.
It feels... good... it shouldn't... but it does... it's wrong…... but it feels good…...
...Why does it feel good? Souka's a girl... it shouldn't feel good from another girl... only from a boy...
Th, that's what Otou-sama said sex was... the girl allows the boy to put his penis in her vagina. But Souka isn't a boy and is using her finger, so why does it feel good...?
…...Is this how it's supposed to be...?
"Don't worry, Tohno. I'm going nice and slow. If you don't even know how to masturbate, you're still a virgin... actually..." I feel her finger pull out of me, and her fingers pull my labia open. For some reason, I... almost want it to go back inside... and she inhales deeply through her nose, an odd noise coming from her throat. "...Mmm, yeah. You still got it. And it's thin, too, so it'll probably tear easily when you do. But I don't wanna take that on you, unless ya want me to..."
...W, what's she talking about? What do I have? I don't get it... I don't get any of this...
My thoughts quickly get silenced by a finger pushing back inside. Another sigh escapes my lips, along with a low, deep noise like Souka made.
A... moan. But moans come from pain, don't they...? I'm not in pain... no, my whole body feels like it's tingling and hot, especially my stomach and my crotch...
"Shh. Just relax, Tohno. It's so much better when you relax completely..." I feel her prop one of my legs across her shoulders, and the arm that had been holding it and minimizing its movement travels up under my shirt. Like she'd done such a thing many times before, her fingers slip their way under my bra, and I can feel her begin to rub and roll my left nipple, pinching it as she had pinched my clitoris.
When she does, a tremor surges through me yet again. I, it was a fairly hard pinch, but it didn't hurt... it felt good... so good...
Souka half-giggles, and half-coos. "Yeah. Mine are sensitive too, Tohno... the smaller they are, the more sensitive they are, you know that...?"
No... I don't know any of this... but I don't really care... Just... don't stop that... please...
My eyes manage to open themselves again, and they look up slightly at the sight of a blue-haired girl, smiling slightly, lightly blushing. She says nothing when our eyes meet, but her smile widens a little more, and I feel the hand that is grasping my breast press slightly.
"Your heart's racing, Tohno. This must be feeling really good, huh...? The first time is always the best time, isn't it?" Souka asks a very confusing question.
"…...Yeah…..." is all my confused mind can muster.
It's hard. Thinking is hard. My thoughts won't stay arranged no matter what I do, and instead of sticking in my mind as they're supposed to, they seem to simply form and get immediately discarded, as if thinking itself were completely pointless.
No... the only thoughts that seem to stick... seem to be ones that are based on what Souka is doing to me right now. Simple, short thoughts. "Lay back." "Push your hips." "Enjoy this."
Enjoy this. That's one that seems to be constant. Every time Souka squeezes my breast, or her fingertips rub or pinch my nipple, or her finger slowly pushes in and out, wiggling a little... that seems to be the one that comes up the most.
Even though Souka is a girl... it seems that my body doesn't care about that. It... it just wants what she is doing, and will not take no for an answer...
Souka removes my leg from around her shoulders, letting it rest on the ground, then leans in, and I see her eyes close a little as her head moves over to mine, and I feel her lips press fully against mine. A very light smell of perfume, of Gardenias. The scent swirls down my nostrils and increases the heat inside me a little more...
...All of this... it's making me feel unbearably hot. It's making me want to take off my clothing... even in front of Souka... it's not like we haven't changed after physical education before, but... this is different... this is not merely changing, this girl has fingers inside my private places...
As if knowing this, the hand squeezing my breast moves back out from under my shirt, and it begins to carefully unbutton the shirt. H... How she can do that one-handed, I don't know... but she is...
…...Her lips never leave mine, even as she does. The feeling of soft, slim lips against mine, of the warmth they contain, of the perfume she is wearing... it is all searing into my mind.
Two buttons undone. Three. Four. Five. Six... and my shirt is opened. Her lips finally remove themselves from mine, and she examines my chest and stomach for a few seconds.
"...Your skin's such a pretty color when you like this, you know that, Tohno?" Souka makes a comment that's absolutely ridiculous and makes no sense.
Just as I begin to form the words needed to ask what she means by that, she pushes up my bra effortlessly, and her lips seal around the nipple that she had been pinching.
And she sucks with her lips.
A cry that defies description comes out from my throat. As if it were the natural response to such a thing, my hands reach for her head and grip it tightly.
...But not to push her away... they're... pushing her in. As if they want it…...
This makes no sense. None of this makes sense. What she's doing... it's all wrong. It's all very wrong. Another girl should not be kissing me, or touching me... certainly not sucking my nipple, or pushing a finger in and out of my vagina...
…...So why... why do I want this to never stop...?
This is Souka. It should be wrong. It IS wrong. And yet my body simply does not care what my mind thinks, and it wants her to keep on doing this until the end of time.
I can't even breathe straight anymore. Air exits my lungs just as fast as it enters them, with odd noises emitting from my throat seemingly at random. My body wants the finger deeper. My nipples stick out as if it were a very cold day, or I were swimming in a cold pool, and my whole body seems riddled with goosebumps.
…...If anyone else saw me like this right now, I would be so embarrassed I would just die on the spot. So why... why do I want Souka to continue doing what she's doing...?
"...You have no idea how hot you look and sound right now, Tohno..." Souka mutters something thickly as she moves from one nipple to the other, her finger beginning to wiggle a little more quickly and push in and out of my vagina a little harder, leaving me speechless and unable to do anything but grip her head even tighter.
Vaguely, I can sense that in reaction to her faster pushing, my body seems to be squeezing harder. It squeezes every time she moves out, trying not to let her go, trying to keep her inside as if that place were meant to hold something permanently in there...
Fleeting, brief images of events past flutter through my head, leaving as quickly as they enter. Souka smiling at me. Souka teasing me over things. Souka and I, playing volleyball in the summer. Souka's embarrassment when I tell her how good she looks in skirts and dresses. Accidentally walking in on Souka when she was changing.
...That one sticks in my mind. Paying attention to her body. Small breasts, smaller than even my own. A nearly boyish, unfeminine figure. The only sign that she was a girl at all being the triangle of dark blue pubic hair, and the small cleft of venus that bisects every girl's pubic mound to provide an opening for her vagina.
…...Why is that image, of all images that I have of her in my memory, the one that I can recall the most clearly right now...?
Souka and I are both girls. So what she's doing is wrong, even though I don't want her to stop... it's still wrong... right...?
Right…...?
...If it were wrong, I could stop it. I could have stopped this at any time just by inverting, which would give me more than enough strength to stop Kohaku's drugs from affecting me.
…...But I don't want to do that. And... I don't want this to stop...
…...…...My body wouldn't be telling me to like this if it were bad for me. No, it would say "This hurts" or something like that. And while things did hurt a little at first, as Souka continued, the pain began to subside... and now it simply feels good...
My eyes glance over at her. Sucking on my nipple, she is oblivious to my looking at her, but the way she is positioned on her hands and knees, I can see her back and backside. The very slightest of a feminine curve is there... and I can see the very top of a band of, unsurprisingly, dark blue underwear.
My eyes remain fixated on this feature, for a reason I can't possibly explain. It... it's a backside. Why would I want to look at that? That makes no sense. One sits on it, that's all, it's nothing more than cushioning for making seating comfortable... it doesn't serve any other purpose than that...
…...So why do I want to see her bare backside...?
Why does my mind want me to pull down her pants, and ask her to turn her backside towards me...?
…...Why does it want me to ask her to pull down her underwear as well, and display her genitalia for me…...?
N-No, I can't do that... that's wrong... friends don't ask friends to display their nude forms to them unless it is for a nude piece of art, or something like that. Souka is no artist, that would be Seo... and even then, a nude painting usually would NEVER display such private places so directly and immediately... well, unless that is what the artist is painting, but...
Souka's lips move off of my nipple, and she begins to kiss her way down my chest. Slowly. Carefully. Making sure that there is scarcely a place left untouched by her lips, feeling all of the muscles underneath, sucking slightly with her lips before she pulls them off.
Down my ribs.
Down my abdominal muscles.
At my bellybutton.
…...At the hem of my dress.
"...Hey, Tohno. Do you trust me...?" A simple, honest, direct question, with none of the usual cryptic qualities.
"...T-Trust...?" My mind finally manages to get my mouth and throat to form a word for the first time in a long time.
"Yeah. Trust me and I'll give you something you'll never forget the rest of your life. Promise."
...Trust...
I manage to look at her. A face, deeply flushed, and not unlike my own. She looks like she is feeling a little hot and uncomfortable myself... but I know she has no problem with what she's doing... so...
…...She must really want to have sex with me... that's why she was using her fingers, wasn't it...?
A dilemma runs through my mind. Part of me says that doing this is absolutely wrong, improper, and I should tell her I don't trust her, to end this immediately, and to never speak of it again.
…...Part of me feels so hot and warm, and says that I should trust her, that Souka won't harm me, and that whatever happens, I will enjoy it immensely...
…...Souka's been my friend for that long... so…... should I…...?
...Wh... Why...? How... how did I let this happen...?
I... I should stop this... shouldn't I...? She's another girl... and... she's...
...Am I seriously... considering this...? Even though she's... doing this...?
Next Week (1/2/11) – Chapter 31: "Blind Side ~Under Blue Sky~ Part II"