Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I was out of the country for over a month, and I couldn't get to my computer, and now you all hate me, and I'm such a bad author! *sobs* No, really, I apologize. Usually my updates don't take this long. I hope the developments in this chapter appease your thirst for my blood.
-AmberGoddess
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Mmm… nice." Oooh nice dream… Wait… What's that? An irritating ringing cut through the dream-fog clouding my mind with the nice pictures. Noooo… Already, barely a second later, the dream was fading, and all I was left with was a lingering feeling of arousal. Groaning, I rolled over to shut off the alarm clock, hissing when my rock-hard nipples brushed the sheets.
A flash of blonde from the corner of my eye made me turn fully, spying a sleeping Tara. Laughter burst out of me, startling me with it's suddenness, but really, I couldn't help it. She'd managed to get so epically tangled up, sheets twisted and pillows everywhere. And she looked so... comfy. Unfair. Really.
I took a deep breath, trying to force down the arousal that was so ever-present, amplified now that I looked at her. Didn't work. So I thought of all the icky and seriously not hot things I could.Frogs. Rivers. Sea. Blue. Blue eyes, blond hair… no! Horses. Horseback riders. Tara in riding clothes. Ah, crap! Evil bitch queens who made you jump off cliffs. That last did it. Sufficiently not horny, I was able to face the day in a mildly less wet state.
Sneaking out of my bed, trying to be as quiet as possible, I made my way over to her bed. I took a moment to just look at her, seeing the peace on her face, so rarely present in her waking state. So beautiful. For a minute I just watched and worshipped silently. Then I pounced.
Jumping on the bed, I pulled the covers off with a flourish, studiously ignoring all the Tara-skin visible. "Come on! Get up! First day of school! You're late, Tara!" No reaction except a moan. All righty then, I switched tactics. Tickling up and down her ribs, and poking her at odd intervals, I kept yelling. Nothing. God.All right, big guns.
I rolled her over, moving to lay on my side facing her. Brushing the hair off her face, I planted gentle kisses all over her face, ending with her lips. That got an immediate reaction. Her arms came up, drawing me closer to her. A tongue traced my lips, so I let in, indulging in a few minutes of steamy kisses before pulling back. "Tara? Babe, get up. School."
She was awake, but barely. She was also extremely unhappy about being awake. "Fuck school, come snuggle." My eyes widened. Tara never cursed, ever, and that was like the mother of all curses. Huh. I decided I liked this more assertive Tara.
"Wish I could, sweetheart, but we can't skip the first day." She moaned again, but rolled off the bed, stumbling as she went for the light. Switching it on, we both yelped, covering our eyes from the harsh glare.
Glaring at it with her eyes slitted, she growled. It was seriously hot. I approved. "Why the hell does school start so early? The sun's not even up yet!" Well, she was still mad. And right. I mean, really, six? Too early.
I dragged my own self out of her nice warm comfy bed and stood up. "If we hurry, we can get a sit-down breakfast and some good coffee rather than try to eat on the run. You want the shower first?" We could always take one together, save water… No! Bad me.
"Sure, thanks." She walked over to her suitcase and pulled out some clothes, then made her way to the bathroom. The door swung shut and I heard the shower start. I moved to my own trunk and pulled out the first clothes that I could grab. Unfortunately, they weren't anything I was comfortable with wearing, tight black jeans and a green silk top. I started to put them back, but then stopped. Who knows me here? What image do I have to uphold? None. Why not take a chance and see what happens? So decided, I stood again and sat on the bed to wait.
I was woken again by Tara shaking me. "Willow? Come on, that's not fair, getting me outta bed and then going back to sleep." I jolted up, nerves humming.Oh, boy. My arousal was back and it brought friends. Couldn't I at least remember the dreams. Mumbling something, I went into the shower and turned the knob to icy cold. The shock woke me up thoroughly, which was a plus. I was not going to go through my first day at a new school sleepy and completely horny. It just wouldn't do.
My mind drifted anyway, despite the freezing temperature. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand had found itself firmly between my legs, stroking over the triangle of hair there. I jerked back, and went through the rest of my shower as fast as I could. It would be so wrong to pleasure myself with my girlfriend in the other room. Anyway, we were on a schedule here.
Riiight. Just keep telling yourself that.
After I was out and dressed, we headed out to a small diner Tara had noticed on one of her walks. Sitting, I brought up the subject both of us had been avoiding- money and a place to stay. "We need to find an apartment soon. I don't know about you, but I can't stay in that motel much longer. Scuzzy." I could pay for that teeny room for the rest of my life and still have more money than I needed, but my nerves and my senses couldn't take it anymore. Also, I didn't want Tara there any longer than she had to be.
"I know. I saw an ad in the paper for a medium apartment. The open house is tonight, if you want to go. I've got some money, not much, but if you need it…" The conclusion was implied.If you need it, it's all yours. I so wasn't taking her money. Having her was enough, anything more would just be overkill. And anyway, I liked spoiling her.
"It's cool, but thanks. We'll go today, check it out. If it's not what you want, we'll keep looking. And- oh hell!" I'd checked my watch idly, and couldn't believe the time. We'd been sitting here for almost an hour! "We're late! Come on!" I threw some bills down, grabbed our coffees, and booked it.
I couldn't help but remember the tragedy that my last high school experience had been. Even thinking about it made me scared. Maybe it'll turn out the same, no friends, no life, just pain. God, I thought I was over this! And that won't happen anyway, I've got a Tara to make me worth something. A Tara to love.
Here we go…
"Woah. Thassa big school." Slack-jawed, we stared at the massive building that claimed to be… part of a high school. It wasn't even the whole thing, and Sunnydale High could fit into it! Twice! It was seriously intimidating, and my unfamiliar clothes didn't help calm my nerves any. If anything, they made it worse.
Tara seemed to agree with me. "Um… wow. A-are we supposed to, you know, get to class on time? Because I'm lost already."
"This is the building with the administrative offices, right?" She nodded in confirmation. "All we gotta do is go in, get our schedules and some maps, and we'll find our classes." I was determined to stay positive. I was not going to let my past bring us down. But god was it hard, especially with that behemoth looming. "So, let's go then."
As we walked into the building, I was struck by a sense of déjà vu. It seemed like just a few days ago that I had stepped into Sunnydale High for the first time, and the feeling I had now, nerves and a little bit of excitement, was just the same as before. Of course, compared to this place, Sunnydale was a run-down shack, but what can you do? It was the only school in LA that was in the area we'd ended up in.
A brass sign caught my eye. It read 'Administration'. Veering over, I opened the door and let Tara through before entering myself and shutting the door behind me. A woman, maybe twenty, was seated at the desk in front of me. From her positioning, she was a secretary, but if I was going by her clothes, she was the superintendent. Oh hell. What did I get us into?"Can I help you?"
She sounded impatient, like we weren't worth wasting her time over. It grated on my nerves, and my back stiffened, fear put on hold for another time. "Yes, as a matter of fact you can. I'm Willow, and this is Tara. We're new, and were told to come here to pick up everything we needed." I saw recognition light her eyes, as well as something I didn't recognize.
"Of course! I was told you were on your way. Dr. Calendar will see you now." She pointed to a door behind her. Her demeanor had changed, going from snooty upper-class lady to helpful and almost… servile. Weird.
"Dr. C-Calendar? She's the p-principal?" I vaguely recognized the name, but I didn't get why Tara seemed so scared of her. Whatever it was had brought out her stutter again, and that was not okay with me. The secretary, Ms. Jenkins from her nameplate, nodded and gestured again to the door. Moving closer, I took Tara's hand, comforting her with my presence. She flashed me a grateful smile and we moved together into the door indicated for us.
Dr. Calendar, or the woman I presumed was Dr. Calendar, was seated behind a desk in a beautifully furnished office. The walls were a deep red, with a lighter cream carpet. There were paintings all around, and I assumed all the furniture was antique. Looking at the doctor herself, I felt an immediate sense of comfort. She was young, mid-thirties maybe, and quite short. Black hair fell to her shoulders, and there was a discernable twinkle in her eyes. Her clothes were amazing, admittedly, but she didn't look at us like we were gum on the bottom of her shoe.
"Welcome to Winters High! You must be Ms. Brighton, and Ms. Chase. I've been very excited to meet you both. Ms. Chase, you're transferring from… Sunnydale, is that correct?" It took me a second to respond. I'd forgotten that I changed our names. Off my nod, she continued. "And Ms. Brighton, from… what's this, Mark's Landing?" Tara nodded timidly. "Impressive."
I couldn't belive my ears. Mark's Landing was known as the playground of the ultra-rich. It was one of the most exclusive places to live in the world, even if there wasn't an actual list. If you didn't have the money, you would go broke within a year. Tara was from there, but she said she was flat broke. What the hell was she playing at?
It was a huge assumption to make, but the way she was behaving was only validating my thoughts. Not looking at me, hiding her face, not even speaking... it was suspicious. If it wasn't true she'd tell me, right? Or at least look at me, since she couldn't say anything in front of Dr. Calendar. But all she did was look down.
I looked sharply at Tara, but she was staring at the ground, avoiding my eyes. Suddenly, I remembered a story I'd caught on TV about a month ago. The Landing's most famous and loaded family had lost a daughter. They wouldn't reveal anything about the circumstances surrounding her disappearance, only that the girl was unstable and needed to be brought back to where they could take care of her. The girl's name was Danielle Maclay!
The only reason that story stuck with me was that it seemed weird. A girl goes missing and all her father says is that she's crazy? Normally I didn't give a crap about celebrities, but I felt bad for the girl. Could she be Tara? Why would she lie to me? I wouldn't care what her name was, nor how much money she had. Didn't she trust me?
My thoughts were interrupted as Dr. Calendar continued with her speech. "I'm sure you girls will fit right in here. Yes, the campus is large, but you'll be right at home in no time. Here are your schedules, and a map each. Class starts at eight every day. Don't be late, respect your teachers, and do your work. I'm sure we'll have a great relationship. If you're lucky, I'll forget your names. Now get moving, you've only got ten minutes to find your first class." We shook hands with her, and left.
We'd walked all the way to the quad in silence. I was taking that as proof of Calendar's claims. Tara had lied to me, and now I knew. What the hell was going on here?
Mad wouldn't even begin to cover how I felt right now, but there wasn't any time for an argument. "We should get going. I have math, I'm heading that way. I'll see you later." It hurt too much to look at her right now, so I didn't. Somehow I knew I was being irrational, but I ignored it. I'd analyze during the day and could talk objectively later. Of course, my entire day would be devoted to school, so it might take m a while. Maybe I'd think during lunch.
"Willow please, please just listen to me! I-" No. I wasn't going to listen right now. Now I was irrational, and hurt, and angry. Now I was probably overreacting, but whatever. Now I would be petty and mean, and later I'd apologize and be extremely attentive. I cut her off.
"I'm gonna be late. I'll see you later for the open house." With that, I walked away.
All through my math class I was only half-listening. It was a simple class for me, so I didn't have to devote my full attention to it. The teacher, a mean-tempered woman by the name of Ms. DiJoya, made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself, forever imprinting herself in my mind as a bitch. Surprisingly, it didn't go badly. No stumbles, stutters, or babbles. I sounded sane, which was an accomplishment.
For the rest of the period, I contemplated my Tara predicament. Absently taking notes, I was thinking it through in my head. I get why she did it. She wants to hide, and telling everyone you meet that you're a Landing Maclay is not hiding. Still, I thought she would have trusted me. Well, why would she? What have you done for her? You haven't been totally honest about your family either, have you?
I winced at that thought. No, I hadn't been totally honest. She knew I had some money, but if she knew how much I really had, she would probably be amazed. Or not. Either way, I don't think she was lying about the abuse. The Maclays are really, really famous, but I never heard about a second daughter until that news broadcast. The mother died, and there was something about a miscarriage…seventeen years ago… oh hell…
What if Tara was the 'miscarried' child? I knew that her father was not a feminist in any sense of the word, but would he go so far as to hide her existence? And what about the whole name thing? It's easy enough to lie in words, but on the transcripts?I changed it. Right. I'd had to enter a whole new name, I couldn't just change the last.
A new thought struck me. If this whole thing wasn't some immense lie, then her family would be looking for her. They were rich, and powerful, and from Tara's condition when I first met her, ruthless and unutterably cruel. I had no doubt that they would send people searching for her. If I was there when they found her, I would be in danger as well.
If Tara was telling the truth, then I was mixed up in something so massively huge it was beyond my mind's capacity to believe. It was undoubtedly dangerous, and would most likely end in tragedy for both of us. Why would I stick around?
Because I love her.
And so it was decided. But first I had to tell her.
After four more periods of utter monotony, my lunch period finally came around. I had the same one conclusion that I'd had this morning. Willow + Tara = Good. That was also pretty much the only notes I took today. Now if only I could find her to tell her that. I'd been looking for nearly fifteen minutes, but this goddamn campus was massive! My lunch break was going to end in half an hour and I had only covered a fraction of the grounds.
I took drastic actions. Spinning around, I launched into a quick jog that wouldn't seem urgent but would move me faster across the campus. Before long, the administration building loomed up before me. I paused for a few minutes outside to catch my breath and let the flush from the exertion recede. Smoothing my hair back, I shoved open the doors and marched inside.
Thanking every god in existence for the fact that I was such a good liar, I ventured back into the office. Ms. Jenkins was right where we'd left her, only a bit more bored. She perked right up when she saw me, though. Her magazine, The Capitalist, explained that. I guess she thought I was related to Tara.
Marching up to her, my mask slid into place. "Ms. Jenkins, it would be absolutely fabulous if you could get me another copy of Tara's schedule. There's some arrangements to be made that require us to know where she is, and you wouldn't want her to give up her own copy, would you?" I finished my request-cum-threat with an icy smile that left absolutely no doubt as to what I meant.
The poor woman was so flustered. "No, Ms. Chase, of course not! I have it right here, don't worry." Pulling a small sheet out from a printer, she flourished it at me. "Here you go. If you need me, I'll be reading about the money." I grinned.
"Here, for your trouble." I dropped a twenty on her desk and turned to leave. Behind me, Ms. Jenkins was muttering quietly to herself, something about all the lovely money. Chuckling, I unfolded the schedule she'd given me and scanned it to see where Tara was. Gotcha.
At the art hall, I was scanning the crowd for any sign of Tara. Blonde was in this year, apparently, but I couldn't see her platinum hair anywhere. Then, behind a wall of finished canvases, I caught a glimpse of white-blond hair and just the tiniest streak of blue. I dashed over, slowing before I reached her. Smoothing my hair back, I crept around the canvases, peeking to see what was happening.
Tara was curled up in a two-person couch, nose firmly stuck in a book. A glance at the title informed me that it was a history of Renaissance art. Maybe it's an Art History class? I'd expected - a little foolishly - to see Tara with one of those floppy hats, a palette in her hand, standing in front of a canvas with a rakish grin. Just the hat. Mmm…
Shaking my head to clear it of distracting (but yummy) fantasy Taras, I moved towards the chair she was seated at. I maneuvered myself so I was positioned behind her, without her having even seen me. I glanced around, noting the absence of students in the little nook Tara had found for herself. Taking advantage of our solitude, I flopped myself down in the space behind her, fitting my body snugly to hers.
She jumped, only avoiding an embarrassing tumble through my quick reflexes. I caught her before she could overbalance, and immediately launched into my prepared speech. "Okay, now I need to get this out fast, so don't interrupt me please. First, I'm sorry for being such a royal bitch before. I needed to think, and I have thought it through. I don't care who you are, and I don't care if your family is the LA branch of the Mafia. I don't care if your brother is Beelzebub and your father Satanus himself. I will stick with you no matter what happens, and no matter who tries to split us up. I do admit that it's a little scary to think that there's a large man searching for us, with the express purpose of bringing you back, and probably damaging me in some unpleasant way, but I'm grateful to be here with you now, and not safe but alone at home. I love you, Tara Maclay, and nothing can change that. Um, unless you don't want me around."
I looked expectantly at her, waiting for her to say something. As the minutes ticked by, though, I began to think she wasn't going to say anything. Stupid! What makes you think that she'd want you? No one would want such an insensitive jerk. Oh god, she's probably gonna make me leave! I deserve it. Worthless idiot. My face twisted, and I jumped up, convinced that Tara hated me. Mumbling something, anything, I sprinted away, trying just to find a quiet place to let loose with the emotions building up inside me.
I hadn't felt such a maelstrom of pain and fear since the day I'd thrown myself from the cliff. The temptation to take a blade to my wrists now and drain out all of my suffering was overwhelming, but for the first time in my memory, I resisted. Tara had shown me that I could live without the blade, and I was determined to honor her by turning around my life. If I couldn't have her, I could at least have the memory of how she made me feel, dependant on nothing but myself.
Finally I found a huge tree, situated in a way that made it impossible for other overly inquisitive students to see me. I was positive the only thing visible was a tiny bit of my hair, but no matter how I shifted I couldn't cover it up. Whatever. Seated here, I left all of my fears come out in one huge convulsive sob, degenerating quickly into a storm of them. Doubling over, I hid my face in my knees and cried.
Unrequited love. The hopelessness of abandonment. The loneliness you feel, even surrounded by others. I cried for all these and more, thinking of the suffering visited upon both me and my beloved by others. The base cruelty of humanity hit me at that moment, all at once. I'd never thought about how much evil could be contained within one person before this moment. Abuse. Torment. Rape. It was just too much to bear, and the only thing left to do was weep.
I'm sure I could have stayed there all day, but after a few minutes, Tara's voice filtered into my shattered consciousness. Uncharacteristically, she sounded seriously pissed. Taking this as more proof that she hated me, I drew my knees up to my chin and hid my face. Footsteps sounded, coming closer, but I sheltered myself behind my big tree. Didn't help.
"Willow Danielle Rosenberg! You… you… stupid bitch!" My head shot up. It didn't seem right, somehow, to hear Tara swear. The thought left my mind as her enraged rant continued. "You are utterly unbelievable! You're perfectly normal this morning, better even, and then we get to school and you totally turn around! You act like the bitch queen of the world, and you don't even talk to me, then prance off on your high horse. Then you come back and flop down like everything's normal, and give me this speech about how my family's in the Mafia - which is utterly ridiculous, by the way - but you don't care. You say you love me, and then you run away? What the hell's wrong with you?" She seemed to be losing steam at this part, but my poor heart was tentatively perking up. She hadn't said she hated me- yet.
"Three things, Willow. One: You're an idiot. Two: My family isn't in the Mafia. I changed my records before I came here." I frowned. If she knew how to do it, why did she have me do it? Tara anticipated my question, though, and answered before I could even open my mouth. "You were just having so much fun. I didn't wanna burst your bubble. Third thing: I love you too." If I was stunned before, it was likely I wouldn't be able to talk ever again.
She appeared to think for a second, then added, "And four: You're an idiot."
My mouth opened, and shut, and opened again. I probably looked like a fish, but I didn't care. Did Tara just say she loved me? No, she couldn't have. I must have misheard her. "Yes, I said I love you." I felt my face light up, and saw an answering smile creep up one side of Tara's face. Before I knew it, I was off the ground and in her arms.
Showering her face with kisses, I gasped out, "Oh god I love you! I was so scared, I thought you hated me."
She looked at me as if I was a Martian. "I could never hate you, sweetie. You just… need to listen sometimes. And stop reading so many conspiracy theories. It's not healthy." I nodded, ecstatic. I'd go along with anything she wanted right now. "Now, darling, we have to get back to class, but after that, we will talk. Nothing bad, just getting everything straight."
As she led us back towards the quad, I simply marveled at the dramatic change. Half an hour ago, it was all I could do to keep from cutting myself. Now, I was over the moon. I stopped thinking about it and bathed in the euphoria that overtook my soul. I love Tara. Tara loves me. Willow and Tara forever. Oh yeah.
"Come on sweetie, let's get you home and cleaned up." I started, shocked out of my happy fantasyland. The school gate had snuck up on me without my even noticing. I frowned, wondering how I'd managed to space so badly.
Shrugging it off, I stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to me. "Uh… Tara? Can we leave? I mean, we still have like half a day of school left. It just seems-"
I was cut off by Tara's raised eyebrow and disbelieving interjection. "School? Willow baby, school ended almost an hour ago. What were you doing all afternoon? Sleeping?"
I grinned like an idiot, the only thing in my mind Tara's casual use of the word 'baby'. It was music to my ears. It finally dawned on me that she was staring expectantly at me, apparently waiting for something. "Huh? What was the question?"
She stared at me for a second, then chuckled. "Wow, Will, way to be out of it. What were you up to all afternoon that got you so mixed up timewise? Daydreaming? Math homework? Diabolical yet tasteful plots to take over the world?" Thinking of what I really had been doing, I could only muster a weak smile at her attempt at humor. Sadly, Tara knew me too well, and spotted my hesitation. "W-Willow? Are you all right?"
The return of her stutter didn't escape me. I knew that if I tried to lie to her, she'd know and be hurt. But, if I told her the truth - that I'd been crying because I thought she hated me - she'd hate herself.Damn I hate it when it's a catch-22. Thankfully, we got to the gates right then, and something else occurred to me.
"Oh, crap! We have the open house today! I'm all teary-eyes with the redness and people don't want to sell to some drama queen! We're screwed!" My hands fluttered uselessly through the air, waving random patterns as a testament to my panic.
The melodic sound of Tara's laughter flowed through the air, reaching my ears and calming me - slightly. "You're a major spaz, Rosenburg. The open house isn't for an hour and a half, you've got plenty of time." I grinned sheepishly, since I knew she was right and she knew I knew.
"Yeah… I knew that."