Chapter 8
Thank you to all the reviews. For those asking for Kate's POV, this story is strictly Castle's POV. That doesn't mean Kate won't be in it later, she will. If I get enough requests, I will write her version of this story.

Oddly, the primary thing on Castle's mind while swimming underwater was how well the flashlight was holding up. If Brown had gone cheap and picked up those two-dollar flashlights in the checkout line he'd have been dead a long time ago. He did his best to release the air he held slowly to give him as much time as possible.

The current helped Castle swim faster but that speed prevented him from seeing if he could come up for air. Aiming the flashlight up Castle's heart sank as he could see the water still went all the way up to the ceiling. Kicking his legs as hard as he could Castle tried to focus ahead of him, willing to see the rock above disappear and he could rise. With all his inhaled air gone, he prayed that he didn't just dive into a watery coffin.

His body was shaking as he went but his eyes grew wide as it looked like the tunnel was opening up ahead. He moved himself towards the surface in the nick of time. His head emerged from the water just as his mouth opened and his lungs sucked in air at record breaking speed. Unfortunately the water was splashing around and he caught some water with the air.

Choking, he reached out with his free hand, his left one, and began grabbing at the side of the tunnel to slow himself down. Once he had, he crawled out of the water so at least his torso was above the water line, his lower part still submerged, but he was too tired to care. Now that he was able to breathe normally, he collapsed to the hard but smooth ground below him, relishing in the simple feeling of breathing in and out. He earned a few minutes of rest.

Kate smiled at him. She was so beautiful in the morning. He loved waking up with her slowly on her days off, to see her in those rare moments of laziness and vulnerability. She inched closer to him but he heard someone crying at the door.

Sitting up, he called out, "Alexis." The door opened and a young Alexis padded her way in.

"What's wrong, Pumpkin?" he asked when she climbed into the bed.

Tears were in her eyes. "You were drowned."

Shaking his head, he hugged her, "No I wasn't, sweetie."

She stayed in his arms and he glanced towards Kate, but she wasn't there. "Hey, where's your mom?"

"She's not my mom!" screamed a very adult Alexis. She was on the other side of the room now. "You left me to move here? Why did you leave?"

Getting out of bed, Castle ran to her. "Alexis, I didn't leave you! You're in college now and you said you were fine w—"

"Oh, Richard," Martha said. "Will you stop fighting with your daughter and help me make out my will? What if I died tomorrow?"

Castle was struck dumb. Not at what his mother was saying, but that she all dirty and sweaty. "What happened to you?"

"I'm digging you out of the cave!" she yelled.

This was ridiculous. "Mother, you can't dig me out of the cave. First of all you don't even know where I am!"

"That's because you moved!" Kate said, now behind him. "Now you're going to die and we aren't even going to have your body to bury!"

"But…" he hadn't thought of that. "I'm sorry—"

Alexis was crying too. "I won't even have a gravestone to visit."

"Oh, Alexis, God, I'm so sorry—" He rushed to his daughter. He wanted to hold her, but she was gone. He started running down the hallway. Maybe if he caught a cab he could tell them to stop digging. But when he opened the door, water came rushing out and he went with it. He struggled as it pushed him along. He couldn't breathe. If he could just move up he could get some air but when he opened his mouth the feeling of water came rushing in.

Castle's eyes flew open, jerking his head up, fully intending to try swimming away. His eyes focused on the dimly lit rocks ahead and his memory came back. It was just a dream. He did survive the river.

Pushing up, he flinched as he realized his legs were still in the water. He'd fallen asleep and he had no idea how many hours he wasted. He crawled forward, looking around to get a bearing on where he was. It was odd because there wasn't a lot of light, even with the flashlight on. It was like there wasn't as much power - oh no!

"No! I didn't - dammit, why- why am I making such…" He struggled to speak as he was so overwrought. He had fallen asleep with the flashlight on and now there was hardly any light at all. He probably just lost valuable hours he could have had to go on further but he stupidly succombed to sleep.

He crawled several feet from the water when he came to what felt like a wall. The flashlight only showed him what was a few inches in front of him, like he was holding a candle. Misery swept over him as he realized he wouldn't leave this place. The dream so clear in his mind, he could hear their cries. "I'm so sorry, Alexis. Kate. I'm so sorry. I tried… I really did think I could get out of here."

He turned the light off and then back on, hoping it would produce maybe a little bit more light. But it was just the same, like flicking a lighter. Turning it off again, Castle lowered his head, his face was wet as the tears ran down his face. He made such a mess of things. If he had just stayed where he was, even if he had died, at least they would have his body. Now Alexis wouldn't have a place to visit her father. His mother, too, would feel robbed. How could he have done that? How had been so arrogant as to think he could actually get out of this by himself?

And now Kate would be alone yet again. He had pushed her into this relationship and when she did fall in love he left her too, just like her mother. Would she be able to console herself with Alexis? He hoped she could help his daughter through this so they could get on with their lives.

"I'm so sorry." This was all his fault.

"To whom are you apologizing?"

Castle didn't jump like he had before, but this voice was obviously neither Royce nor Montgomery. It was a woman. "Who are you?"

He didn't bother with the flashlight. What was the point? "We've never met."

Now curiosity got to him. Why would someone he hadn't met show up here? To help him? Turning on the light, he saw her legs about five feet from him. They were crossed and she was sitting facing him. She was wearing slacks, which seemed odd. Castle realized that both Royce and Roy had been wearing jeans. He couldn't remember what they were wearing when they had died. Did that have something to do with what a person wore in spirit form?

If she was a spirit.

"Can you scoot closer, Richard? I can hardly see you." She was so formal. She reminded him of his mother.

He didn't really feel like it but he maneuvered himself closer, surprised at how hard it was to move. How could he be so tired when he had finally gotten some sleep?

"It's good to finally meet you." She was smiling at him and looked quite sincere.

He stared at her face, her brown hair and makeup looked impeccable, just like he expected, but how could he expect something if he didn't know whom she was? She tucked some hair behind her ear and the gesture reminded him of Kate, but why would—

"Oh my God, you're Johanna Beckett."

She nodded. "Yes. It's nice to finally meet you."

He jerked the dim flashlight away so he couldn't see her anymore, at least not her face. He couldn't be seeing her … of all people. If Kate knew he was having hallucinations of her mother she would kill him.

"I'm not a hallucination, Richard."

Now he brought the flashlight back up. "Aha! You are one! Otherwise how did you know that was what I was thinking?"

She rolled her eyes at him. Good God, could a child inherit gestures? "It's a logical conclusion. Plus you were accusing Michael and Roy of being one."

He wasn't convinced. "Why would you come to see me? Don't tell me to help me. You don't know me!"

"Yes, I do." She leaned her head to the side. "Do you think I wouldn't be watching my daughter? For years my heart ached watching her being a cop—"

"She's a great cop!" He interrupted. "Well, was a great cop, but now she's a great agent. You'd be proud."

"I am proud." She wasn't looking at him now. She was looking into the darkness. "But I don't want her job, whatever her job is, to consume her life. That was my life too, until I met her father."

He didn't say anything to that. Tears were in Johanna's eyes but she blinked them away. She went on, "After I died she never allowed herself to get close to people. It was frustrating to watch.

"Then you came along and shook her whole world up." Joanna smiled at Castle. "I have to admit, I'd never have pegged you to be the man who could get past those defenses of hers …"

"Walls," he corrected.

Johanna nodded. "Right. The point is, she needs you, Castle. I don't want to see my baby hurt again."

Now Castle rolled his eyes. "So what's your solution? I'm about to lose light, having this conversation with you, wasting what little I have left."

"Then maybe you should turn it out while we chat."

Now that surprised him. He expected her to have him get moving using what power the flashlight had left. Deciding to play along, he turned the light out.

Now in deep darkness, Castle listened as the water went past them. "So… you can visit your daughter after death?"

"Thinking about Alexis?"

Damn, she was smart. Of course, a hallucination would know what he was thinking about. "I want to be able to see her again … to check on her. Make sure she moves on after the funeral."

He heard Johanna sigh. "You aren't usually this pessimistic, but I guess given the situation …"

"I think it's time I face reality. I'm going to die down here." It was true, but hearing his thoughts voiced made a chill ran down his spine.

"Katie wouldn't want to hear you say that."

Hearing her call Beckett the same name Jim did warmed Castle. "Alexis wouldn't want me to either, but you can't argue the facts."

She was quiet for a moment, then cleared her throat. "Actually, I think I could argue them."

Again, he laughed. "Now you are acting like Kate."

She chuckled herself. After a moment she asked, "So when are you getting married?"

Oh, this wasn't the conversation he wanted to have. "We … we ha-, didn't set a date."

"Why not?"

Sighing, he resituated so he was lying on his side, suddenly tired of sitting up. "I don't … we had a lot to do moving here. Her new job and the new apartment and packing and saying goodbye—"

"You are serious about marrying my daughter, aren't you?" He could hear an edge to her voice.

"Of course I am! I just …"

"You just what?"

Rubbing his face, Castle didn't hold back. "I just don't know if she's serious about marrying me."

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