Benny looked around the room "quick Dean! we've got to get out of here before he comes back!"
"hold on a second! we still need to talk about your fudging poor life choices!"
"okay, I swear on Miranda Cosgrove's failed singing career that we will, but can we leave first?"
"fine fine fine... just take these keys and go out to the car, I'll be there in a seximeansec"
"alright" Benny said in his pouty voice. He started out the door of the Taco Bell
"Oh, and Benny?" Dean called after him
Benny looked up expectantly "yeah?"
Dean tossed him a bottle "If Sam is still crying just splash this on his face."
Benny looked at the bottle "um... Dean... this is chloroform."
"no duh sherlock... now get the fuck out before Cage comes back."
Denny grabbed his balls and ran out.

Dean sat there in the dark

wiating

Nicolas Cage walked back in the room wearing a trench coat
and nothing else.
"my my my how the tables have turned"
"shut up nick jonas where are the others? and why aren't you wearing anything?"
"God! it's joe jonas, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER"
"where are they" he repeated
"first of all" dean said ignoring the question, "why are you wearing a trench coat?"
"i dunno... I hear all the kids are doing it these days"
"okay... but you're not wearing anything under it"
"and..."
"and... you're not supposed to just wear a trench coat... you have to wear a suit or something under it."
"but that would be TOO EXPECTED" he cackled, all of a sudden there was a puff of smoke and suddenly insted of nic cage there was a cat in a trench coat.
"wut wut wut r u doing" said dean
"juuuuuust wait said the cat"
"listen" said dean "i don't have time for this, I just came here to get my jackhammer back, not to play flasher houdini with you."
"okay, okay, okay" said nicholas cage, swinging down from the ceiling. He turned to the cat "you can go home phil."
the cat lit a cigarette "you still owe me the 3 grand" he said, sauntering out of the room
"yeah, ok!" nic yelled after him "i'll get it to you by thursday!" the cat gave him the finger.

"Anyway... where were we," he said, turning back to dean. "oh right, you wanted your stupid jacksomethingorother back."
"yeah" said dean, getting up and coming over to nicolas cage.
they were standing so close that their noses were touching.
"i've got a deal for you cage" he spit at him "we wrestle, naked, in this barbie swimming pool" he said, gesturing to it in the corner "if i win I get lafawnda, if you win... you can do whatever you want with her."
"you've got a deal" nic cage whispered into dean's ear.
dean shuddered... he was somehow totally turned on and disgusted at the same time; after all, cage's breath did smell like a raisin that had been sitting out in the sun for a bit too long.

They stood at each end of the Barbie Tropical Vacation! pool staring into each others' eyes.
"on your mark"
"get set"
"go"
Nicholas Cage grabbed dean's hair, and sat on his face, punching him with his butt cheeks
"left, right, left, right" he chanted as he flexed.
Just then, Dean bit his ass
"ow!" nicholas cage jumped up, and dean kicked him in the face. He fell back with a huge splash (well... a barbie sized huge splash... in actuality it was more of a squirt).

Dean loomed over nic cage holding a sledge hammer "I've goth yur nfoww" he slurred. As he was about to smash cage into a million pieces, phil walked back into the room because he had forgotten his briefcase. He saw what was happening to nicolas cage, and not wanting to lose his money, he whistled, and out of the dark emerged Jackie Chan.
"yo chan!" yelled nic "where have u been this whole time?"
"sorry man, i had to go pick up my dry cleaning, plus ash and brock needed a ride to the airport."
(Jackie Chan really hated nicolas cage; he thought he was a real cole sprouse, but ever since his great grandparents died and left him their time share he had no other choice than to keep it and make friends with the neighbors, unless he wanted to bring dishonor on his family... which he didn't)
Chan pushed Dean out of the way. "go man, I'll take care of him"
Dean went and hid behind the aligator. After 10 minutes he peeked out of his hiding space.

There was Nicolas Cage standing on top of Jackie Chan, who had a spatula sticking out of his heart.
He chuckled darkly (which, again, made dean all sexually confused and weirdly turned on).
"I've finally got you valjean!"
"wait, wut?"
"wat"
"wat"
"wat"
"wat"
"wat"
"wat"
"I won our little deal, and now lafawnda is mine!" organs started playing and the phantom of the opera swooped down from the ceiling carrying lafawnda in one hand and a chainsaw in the other.
"NOOOOOOOOO" dean screamed as he crumpled to the ground. through his sobs he could hear his one true love being torn to pieces.

then there was quiet

Dean looked up and everyone was gone. The room was empty except for a pile of ashes.
"good... b... bye... la...f... fawn... fawnda" dean choked out, and solemnly left the taco bell.

He got in the impala and started driving. the car was quiet (mostly because keifer sutherland and the baby got picked up by a helicopter, sam was passed out from the chloroform, banana was taking a nap in the nest it had made out of braids in sam's hair, and benny was listening to a muse cd on his new walkman).

"you know what's really weird?" said dean, looking up.
"huh?" benny replied, sliding off his headphones
"that cat...it gave him the middle finger... but cats... they can't do that."