They drove all around Switzerland but found nothing. Finally Cas was like"I might have a better idea"
"I wish you would have fucking told us that before we bought a submarine to break into Swedish houses"
"wait when did we buy a submarine?"
"what"
"what"
"what"
"what"
"what"
"anyway," said Cas "Thomas Edison put a tracking device on her in 5089"
"who is Thomas Edison?"
"just a friend of mine"
"okay, well how do we track it then?"
"we need to find a gay pterodactyl"
"um Cas... No offense but this plan seems to involve a lot of time travel and the last time I checked we weren't on doctor fucking who" dean said in the calmest voice he could muster up, which sounded a lot like an angry grizzly bear
"actually, that offended me"
Dean slowly chewed on his twizler
"I was on doctor who for 3 seasons"
"Actually dean" sam cut in "i know someone who has a gay pet pterodactly"
"please don't say-"
"nicholas cage"
"aaahhh we meet again"
"where the hell are we?" asked dean
"this is kangaroo jack's house" cut in sam
"did i fucking ask you?"
sam curled into the fetal position and started to cry
"will someone please get him out of here?"
nicolas cage snapped his fingers and the teenage mutant ninja turtles came out and dragged sam off to the bouncy house that was in the backyard
"so what, no aligator this time, no creepy taco bell basement?" dean said looking around the aboriginal hut full of sunlight and stoned kangaroos
"I thought I'd try a lighter approach this time" answered cage "afterall, i hear you're in need of my help"
"why the change of heart?"
"i like to be unpredictable... like my hairline"
"yeah sorry to break ur bubble, but there's nothing unpredictable about your receding hairline..."
"OR IS THERE"
suddenly his hairline started moving down his head down, down down down onto his face then it crawled across the floor and onto deans face and started suffocating him.
"this doesn't even make any sense" said dean muffled and confused "how is it even still attached to your head?"
"well it is my hairline... what did you think i was wearing a wig?"
"kind... of" dean chocked out. His face was turning purple, but he refused to admit he was in pain
"i must say that unfortunately me and grandpa trump have very different views on hair."
dean tried to say "wat" but he passed out
When he woke up he saw nic cage fanning him with a fan made of solid gold
"wut is that?"
"i told you me and old man trump don't have teh same views when it comes to hair... we do, however, have similar FASHION SENSE"
he stood up and twirled around to show dean what he waas wearing
"he bought me this multicolored coat because i'm his favorite son :D"
"ifffff u sart sinnnging i swer tu gaad" said dean (he was still kinda groggy)
cage just rolled his eyes, and took off the kimono to reaveal a three piece powder blue suit underneath
"anyway... you never told me what you came here for"
dean tried to sit up, but he fell off the bed and onto the floor. With his face squished against the tiles he said "we need a gay pterodaclakyu"
"i see.." said nic "and waht do i get in return?"
"um idk... u can take sam- he's noting but a pain in the ass and it's spring so he keeps shedding all over the impala's seats"
"what woudl i want with a big soggy moose?"
"yeah.. good point. what did u have in mind?"
"well even tho trump is my #1 daddy... he's also like the worst ever. he does nothing but drink martinis all day and tell me super weird stories about his secret colony of morman wives"
"MARTINIS?! THOSE DRINSK ARE 4 GIRLZZZ!"
"would u mind taking him off my hands for a few days?"
"uh yeah i guesss sure"
"papa trump!Get yorich azz out here!"
Trump stumbled out of a nearby room, pink martini in hand.
"You're coming with us trump" dean said grabbing him by the arm and leading him out to the impala.
Nic Cage whent into the secret underground lair to get the pterodactyl.
"This is brian. bryan, dean, deen, brian."
Dean look up at the 8 foot tall sparkly dinosaur with hair like david bowie and a voice like cher. A smile crept along his lips. He coudl tell that he and the petersdoadyl would get along juuuuuust fine.
"nice to meet you" he said, winking.
"Oh HOney" the psgteredoacly replied "the pleasure is all mine"
Soon they were on the road again.
But they had to double back because they forgot sam in the bouncy house.
And now they were really on the road again.
Dean and Sam in the front, cas, bennny, banana and trump all squished in the back, and brian in one of those trailer things for horses attached to the impala.
They were on the way to Thomas Edison's house when Trump started commenting on the seats
"what kind of leather is this"
"i don't fucking know"
"well i hope you don't mind my saying, dean, but i really think you could class this place up"
"you mean the impala"
"yes, i really think i could do wonders with this place. I think we should start by revamping these seats; i know a guy who could hook you up with some really quality leather. Then I think the wheels need a revamping; how do you feel about solid gold rims? and I think that the radio-"
"hold up martha stewart, nobody makes any changes to the impala except me"
"but what about a state of the art sterio system?"
"FUck no, and i DON't want to hear another word about it"
they drove in silence for a while
"but haven't you ever thought about bullet proo-"
"thAT'S IT, GET OUT!"
"what?"
"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT, BENNY?"
benny grabbed trump by the collar, and chucked him out the window. He rolled off the side of the road and into a stream heading towards canada
"welp... i guess it's a good thing murder's legal in canadada"