Chapter 37: "Vicissitudes of Consciousness"
Sunday, November 3, 2002
...I awaken in my bed.
"Damn cat...!" I say as I flail around in my bed before awakening. Looking around, I see that she's already gone. There is no trace of her anywhere, and there is no evidence to show where she went.
...Smart. It must be that animal instinct of hers, knowing that she was in immediate danger, and making sure that she'd be nowhere near me by the time I woke up. It's a good thing she isn't here, or I'd definitely make her suffer.
After all... I remember fully what she did. I remember that dream entirely, all of the things she told me and all of the suggestive behavior that she did to me. To think that she would have the nerve to dare to do that to me, Tohno Akiha, of all people, is simply prepos–
...Wait.
…...I'm not supposed to be me today.
...But I'm already not me. The first thing out of my mouth today was an expletive.
That's not how Tohno Akiha greets her mornings. That's someone else. Usually Kohaku when she wakes up and stubs her toe.
...But then again... if she wanted to die for a day, this is absolutely convenient, isn't it?
"…...It can't be helped. Oh well," I say with a shrug of my shoulders.
Not like it matters, anyway. The person to whom it'd matter isn't here. Who cares what they think? I sure don't. What are they going to do, complain? Yeah, right. Who cares what a dead girl thinks?
Throwing the blankets off of me, I get out of bed, and head for the bathroom. Inside, I strip out of my nightgown, enter the shower and close the curtains, and crank up the hot water. Letting it heat up, I step over to the toilet, sit on it, and wait while I pee, spreading my thighs apart slightly and watching as a pale yellow stream flows out. Once it slows down, then eventually stops, I stand up and the toilet automatically flushes. I don't bother to wipe... after all, I'm about to get in the shower anyway, and it's not like a little pee on my fingers while I wash my body is going to kill me. It's nothing a little soap won't fix and sterilize anyway.
At the shower, I feel the water's temperature with my hand. Finding it pleasing, I step inside and fully plunge myself into it.
"Hahhhhhhh..." That feels SO good. So hot that it's wonderful.
I always start with the hot water first. The hotter, the better, to the point where it even scalds my skin lightly. It ain't hot enough until it starts turning pink and I look like I'm smoking.
I turn on the cold water very slightly, just enough to temper the hottest heat, and stick my head fully underneath. I feel the water soaking into my hair, then my scalp, and eventually it begins to roll down my chest and my back.
It's a good way to wake up. I may be sleepy when I start, but I'm rarely so tired afterward. Hot water and cold water are both great for waking you up, but obviously I like hot water better.
Feeling my fleeting sleepiness lift, I begin to hum to myself as I soap and wash my body, paying careful attention to my underarms, chest, and legs. Places where potentially the most odor could come from.
There is a knock on my bathroom door. Turning towards it as it opens, I hear a familiar voice. "I'm bringing your clothes, Akiha-sama," Kohaku says as she enters. Her silhouette moves through the steam on the shower doors.
"Ah. Thank you, Kohaku." I smile to myself. "Just leave them on the sink, thanks. Don't worry about anything else but breakfast for now." Little does she know what I have planned for today.
"...Just breakfast? Are you feeling okay, Akiha-sama?" She asks, somewhat surprised.
Clever. Of course I would expect Kohaku to notice the change in my behavior straight off.
"Of course, Kohaku... I'm fine. Today is merely a wonderful day." I cannot help but feel myself smile, even as I rinse my hair of shampoo.
"...A wonderful day, Akiha-sama? You... You're not that happy about Culture Day usually. You enjoy it, but not that much, right?" Her confusion grows.
"What, I can't like Culture Day, Kohaku?" I ask.
"No, you can, Akiha-sama! It's just that you've never shown this level of interest in it before, so it's a little surprising is all...heh..."
"You, of all people, should know that it's possible for a person's attitudes or words to change, Kohaku, as you've done it before," I remind her. "Besides... Culture Day is a day for celebration, for everyone. It'd be rude for me to not celebrate one of the great holidays of my country, wouldn't it?"
"…...I see," Kohaku ultimately says. I can hear the confusion in her words as she carefully lays my clothing on the sink, and departs.
...Heh. She has no clue just what today will bring. Today, I plan on quite a few things, the second I get out of the house.
"...And what they don't know won't hurt them, heheh." I smirk to myself.
I already like this person. I like them a lot. I've never heard Kohaku so flustered and out of place before. It's such a rare event around me that I was beginning to think it was a small miracle to see her that way normally... but now I know it's possible to do that with just the right words and defying her expectations.
...I'll keep breaking them, then. Yeah. That sounds like fun. I feel my lips pull into a grin.
After rinsing my hair, I step out of the shower, feeling refreshed and renewed.
I feel... like a new person, honestly. That's good. I'm already beginning the day as someone else... then, let's keep it going. I want to enjoy this as long as I can.
I step into my clothing, and carefully comb and dry my long hair. It's difficult, but I have done this for years, so it's not as difficult as it would be to someone such as, say, Souka. That's one thing to envy her over, for sure. Hmph. Maybe I should cut my hair sometime...
I walk out after I've dried my hair, in my usual blouse and red dress. But... not for long. Today I'm going to get a new outfit.
An outfit Tohno Akiha wouldn't ever dare to wear.
But that's okay. Tohno Akiha won't be wearing it... someone else will be. So who cares what she thinks?
"Ah, good morning, Akiha-sama. Breakfast is ready." Kohaku smiles, and bows slightly. Greeting me as I step into the dining room. Looking at my usual place, there is a covered plate, covering what looks like hot food.
"Good timing, Kohaku. I'll be gone for a good deal of the day," I tell Kohaku with a slight wave of my hand as I walk over towards her.
"...Eh? Akiha-sama, I did not know you would be gone..." Kohaku's look of confusion returns.
"It's something unplanned," says the girl masquerading as Tohno Akiha, just waiting until she can shed her skin. "But don't worry about that for now. Besides, it'll give you time alone with Nii-san. You want that, don't you...?" She says this with a look that Tohno Akiha could not possibly give - a look that says "Go have sex with him."
As a result, Kohaku is immediately flustered and confused by this.
"A-Ah, Ahahaha... Y-Yes, Akiha-sama. I do." She swallows hard, as if a nervous stray animal backed into a corner. "A, Alright... then I will spend time with Shiki-san while you are gone."
"…...Good. Well then..." the doppelganger says with a coy smile, "...Have fun while I'm gone. But please clean up, and don't neglect your duties." With that, she strolls into the dining room, as Kohaku turns a very, very sharp red that matches the color of the stranger's dress.
The breakfast is delicious, of course. French Toast. A fine meal to start a fine day. Simple, quick to make, yet surprisingly tasty. A rich, fancy breakfast is one thing, but a simpler one has its own charm, and when full of flavor as this one was, is obviously made with love.
"Goodbye, you three. Kohaku, make sure you and Nii-san do not just stay inside all day. Go out and enjoy the festivals, too." I tell her with a slight knowing smile. Maybe they'll end up in a Ferris Wheel, kissing...
"Y-Yes, Akiha-sama. We will." She blushes slightly. She still looks like I'm going to tell her that I'm joking at any second. But no, the egg's on you, Kohaku.
"Hisui, I trust that you will ensure that Kohaku and Nii-san can keep to their duties until they leave?" I turn and ask her twin this question.
"...Of course, Akiha-sama." Hisui closes her eyes softly. "I will allow them time for themselves... but they will also be doing the usual amount of work they do."
"And what about when they leave? Will you accompany them?" I ask.
"Ah, well, actually... it would be best if Shiki-sama and Nee-san had some time to themselves..." she tells me in a somewhat shy voice.
No need to be shy, Hisui... but perhaps you know that if things got hot between those two, you would not want to be caught in the middle of it. Which is perfectly normal, I suppose.
"...Mmm. Very well then, as you wish. It's selfless and noble, though... And Len, if a problem comes up, you will come find me, of course." I turn to the smallest person who is standing in the foyer. The small girl simply nods in affirmation.
"Good. Well then, I'll be back later, but don't wait up on me. I have my keys, after all, so if you all leave, I'll let myself in, so don't worry," I announce.
With an enthusiastic wave, I bid a stunned Kohaku, a confused-yet-determined Hisui, and a slightly smirking Len farewell. I leave the mansion, for the first time in as long as I can remember, with no worries on my heart.
It's such a liberating feeling, to be able to just go where I want and do as I please without having to worry about any of my usual baggage or problems. I can't even remember the last time I got to relax. In my life, some problem or another seems to always come up, and I'm the one who has to go out there and scrub it all until it becomes clean... not necessarily something that's quick or easy.
I walk downtown, humming a song familiar to myself. The one that I really like. I inhale deeply as I take breaths for the song. The air is unusually warm for today. Culture Day. It's a bit rare for it to be this warm at this time of year, but I certainly won't complain. As usual, it's pretty sunny, so it is certainly a fine, late autumn day.
Before long, I find myself downtown. People walk all over around me, and most shops seem packed. I've been here many times, but always with a purpose.
Today, that purpose is me. And only me. Not anybody else but me. Well... okay, maybe the others are still important too. That's why I'm going to buy them small things. Shirts. Nothing huge.
A purse, hung over my shoulder, with plenty of money in it; perhaps 40,000 yen. I don't think I'll need any more than that, but if worse comes to worse, I have my bank cards on me. I don't want to go crazy on spending, to be sure, but if I can be prepared, it makes no sense to be some dumb fool who blows all their–
"...Hey..."
A shirt catches my eye. It's a rather nice-looking T-Shirt. It says something in English.
I wrack my brain, trying to remember all those English lessons. I don't practice it too regularly, so some of it is slipping from my mind. That's bad. I need to practice it more often, or I'm going to forget all of it, and that's a disaster down the road if I don't do something to stop it.
...Hmm…... "Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off."
I immediately burst out laughing. This shirt is PERFECT for Hisui! I have to get it. I'm still laughing as I walk into the store.
The people inside are pretty surprised someone like me would come in, especially since I'm laughing like a mad woman, but I'm not thinking about that right now and don't really care what they think anyway. I walk up to the counter. "That shirt... haha, that shirt in the window. How much... heheh... how much is it?"
"U-Uh..." The young man who's perhaps my age looks at me a little nervously. "About... 2,500 yen...?"
"Good. I want one... eheh..." I do my best to control myself as I hand him the money in crisp bills. He nods, and immediately gets me the shirt, and bags it.
"Thanks," I announce with a slight wave as I turn and depart, having finally calmed down. Everyone's staring by now, but it can't be helped, can it?
I keep on walking outside of the store, down the sidewalk, looking at some of the other shirts on display. Lots of people, male and female alike, look at me as I walk down the street, smiling.
...I wonder what their thoughts are? Perhaps some of the men want me. Perhaps some of the girls are jealous of me. It's okay for them to feel that way... after all, hearts must be broken sometimes.
As I walk along, I stop at another shirt store, with shirts lined up on display, prominently, for the window.
"Hmm...?" A second one catches my eye. I read it.
"She who must be obeyed."
...A wide grin breaks out on my face. This store is the one for me.
An hour later, I emerge, no longer wearing my blouse or red dress.
Instead, I'm wearing my new clothing.
Which is, in fact, virtually identical to the clothing I saw myself wearing earlier. Even the shorts – which are jean shorts. They feel strange around my legs, but all in all, it's not an unpleasant feeling as I thought it'd be. Actually, if anything, the wind blowing on my now exposed legs feels good even though it gives me goosebumps and makes me blush a little more, making me more self-conscious. To have so much skin exposed... how... sexual.
And lightweight. My usual dress is somewhat heavy. It's certainly hard to blow up even in the harshest of winds. With these shorts, there is nothing to blow up... so how light it feels makes me almost worry if wind will catch in the leg holes and reveal my underwear.
...But that's a silly thing to think about. They're jean shorts. They fit well on my body, so such a thing will never happen.
With my old clothing in a bag, I walk along, humming. It feels... so great to be freed from my usual dress. Aside from my nightgown, it seems all I wear are either my Asagami uniform, or my usual dress. Once in awhile, then... something like this may not be too bad. Even if it feels weird to me now, that'll be less and less as I get more comfortable in outfits like these.
...Is this literally what people mean when they talk about escaping themselves? Because if that's the case, it's good enough that Tohno Akiha might die a little more often from now on. Certainly I've never done this before, but this sort of thing is just what may be needed, from time to time, to get away from it all.
The humming turns into whistling before long. It stops, along with my body, when I spy another shirt, this one just perfect for Kohaku. "I'm the chef, that's why!" it says. Before long, it too is purchased and joins my ever-growing bag collection.
...Hmm. Who else can I buy shirts for while I'm at it?
I have ones for myself, Hisui, and Kohaku. I need to get one for Shiki, of course. Hmm... I could certainly get ones for Souka, Hanei, and Seo. Oh, and Yumizuka-san! I can't forget her, that'd be just rude...
...Yeah, I think I like that. One for all of my family, and one for my closest friends. That's probably what most people do, anyway.
I look around in the shops. One by one, I find them all ones with things that fit wonderfully.
For Shiki, "I ❤ my Little sister." Something simple and to the point... and while he will probably never wear such a shirt, he will treasure it anyway. That's fine.
For Souka, Something with a band on it. I'm pretty sure she will like it. I think this is her favorite band, anyway. It's expensive, so it must be authentic and not a knock-off. Either way, Souka isn't the one to complain much about these things. Indeed, doing this may make her blush... which I admit would be rather cute to see.
For Hanei, "Don't need a permit for these guns." Referring, of course, to her chest. Then again, I don't think Hanei would even know what a permit is for the most part. If she doesn't get the joke, I'd better tell her quickly, or else she may go into a permit line and ask "Where do I get the permit for these?" while grabbing her own bust.
For Seo, Something with a variety of manga characters on it. Some look cute. Some look brave. I don't recognize any of them, but I'm sure that she could point out each and every one, along with why she likes them and her favorite issue or episode of their relevant series.
For Yumizuka-san, owing to her lack of clothing, she gets a whole new outfit. It's nothing too special – just a nice, black top, and a pair of jean shorts, somewhat like mine. The poor girl has clothes that just seem to constantly give perverts the hope of peeping up her skirt... well, she'll have at least one pair of lower clothing that will disappoint them, now.
Perfect, perfect, perfect! They're going to love them, I'm sure. I can't wait for their reactions! Those reactions are almost worth how much it took to purchase them... not that it was a whole lot of money anyway, but that's not the point!
I walk out, grinning widely to myself. Souka, Hanei, and Seo will have to wait until tomorrow, but I can give Shiki, Hisui, and Kohaku their shirts when I go home.
I giggle hard to myself when I imagine their expressions upon receiving them all.
Walking along, I hear my stomach make a loud groan. Ah... so it's hungry too. Well, of course. It's been a few hours since I ate Kohaku's breakfast. While a fine meal to start the day, it's certainly not something that you can expect to keep you full for the whole day.
I decide to stop for something light to eat for now before I go to the park, because I feel a little hungry and I've burned off most of the energy that Kohaku's breakfast had given me. Well, according to my stomach, anyway. I don't feel too hungry, but it decides these things, not me, so I'd better listen.
I spy a food vendor not too far away. I walk over with my bags, setting them down once he acknowledges me.
"Good afternoon, miss," he tells me with a slight bow of his head. "What can I get you?"
"Hmm," I say as I look over the choices. "Ah, the hot dog please. With ketchup, mustard, and extra relish. And a Volt Cola to drink." So daring...
...And so fattening! But who cares right now? Nobody's going to tell me what I can and can't eat.
"Alright then," the vendor tells me. "That'll be 450 yen."
Calmly, I give the man a 500 yen bill, which he takes without question and hands me back my change, in the form of a 50 yen coin. I then watch as he puts a fresh pair of latex gloves on, opens up a bun, and puts my hot dog inside with a pair of tongs, before adding generous amounts of ketchup, mustard, and relish, as asked. He puts it in a container, then reaches over to a nearby cooler, and pulls out a tall, glass bottle – 590 milliliters – and hands it over to me. Its characteristic yellow lightning bolt and mascot endear it to many students who are cramming a few more hours of study before an ever-important test.
"Thank you," I tell him. "Have a good day."
"Pleasant day to you, miss," he replies with a smile and a wave.
I walk over to a nearby bench with my food. It's hot, freshly cooked. The smell of ketchup, mustard, and relish wafts into my nose, filling it with the intoxicating scent. My mouth waters, wanting me to bite into this meal.
"I-ta-da-ki-ma-su~~~!" I bite into it. In the interest of culture, after all. Western culture.
...Chew. Chew some more.
Swallow.
...It's Juicy. Thick. Good. A little bit of relish runs down my cheek, but I quickly wipe it up with one of the napkins I got.
I chew. I swallow. It's wonderful. Sinfully delicious, even, but at this point, I'm a sinner and I don't care. This isn't what I usually eat either, but that's what makes it even more interesting to me... something bold, something new.
The wind blows, giving me a bit of a massage as I enjoy my lunch on the sunny and slightly cool day. Crowds of people shuffle past me, not even noticing my existence. Tohno Akiha would no doubt get almost immediate stares.
But I'm no longer Tohno Akiha. Today, I'm someone else. I wish I knew her name, because I'd love to find out more about her. She intrigues me with her brash confidence.
Setting down my hot dog for the moment, I reach over for the bottle, and feel it. It's cold in my hand, and some of the coldness has began to condense on the bottle, making my palm slightly moist as well.
Oh well, no matter. I bite the bottle cap lightly, and I rip the bottle away. With a slight hiss, the cap comes free. I spit it into a nearby garbage can, and then begin to drink my carbonated refreshment.
…...?
Strange. I just felt a feeling like I'm being watched by someone...
I look around. All that greets my vision is a busy crowd, walking everywhere, chatting with each other. Nobody that I recognize is in that crowd, at least not as far as I can see.
"Huh... probably my imagination. Oh well. Maybe they're jealous of this delicious hot dog." I laugh.
I resume my drink, and feel the pressure of the gas building in my lungs, even as I swallow. Before long, I pull the bottle from my mouth, wait a few moments, and then burp. I wipe my mouth with one of my napkins, before setting the bottle down again and resuming my meal.
...But soon enough, I feel it again. This time I turn immediately.
And there... is a girl. She looks, in a word, stunned at the sight before her. Her mouth is agape, and it's trying to form words, but her voice is failing to find itself, and so her lips move uselessly.
She swallows, and it's only then that her throat manages to make the noises needed to speak.
"...T…...Tohno-senpai…...?"
"…...Seo...?"
...What's Seo doing here? Huh. I'm amazed she recognized me.
Well, no matter. It oughta be fun to hang with her a bit...
...If she can handle it, that is. Heheh...
Next Week (2/20/11) – Chapter 38: "Every Artist Has a Price!"