Chapter 14
Thank you for reading through this story. Just one more chapter left! I know canon now has Castle apparently immediately doing a book tour but I just think after all of this he wouldn't want to leave the people he knows and loves.

Castle read over the last sentence and let out a breath he wasn't realizing he was holding. He'd just completed writing up everything he could remember from the cave to his computer. He wasn't ready to talk about it to Kate, but when he did, he didn't want to leave anything out.

Yesterday had gone by quickly. During the car ride from the hospital they only stopped at a diner on the way, and to his chagrin he was told to just have some soup and coffee just to make sure his digestion could handle it. Castle was annoyed, but if he was honest it tasted delicious.

They got to the DC house. Castle never did actually start calling it home, and they settled in for the night. The press was outside but they were able to shut them out. What surprised Castle was he was expecting to make phone calls but the first couple were to his ex-wives.

Meredith had been worried about him and his "reported death" and how Alexis was doing. She had made arrangements to fly there that evening, but thank God Castle had time to stop her from coming. She still felt she should come and there was a part of him that was always pleased when Meredith did show some parenting skills, but he managed to talk her into coming later when the family would be headed to the Hamptons. He couldn't deal with another visit with Meredith and Kate in the same house like last time.

Then he had called Gina, more out of professional duties. He originally had been scheduled for a book tour coming up very soon, but now he had no intention of doing it. The good news was he wouldn't have to. The press from the kidnapping and possible death had all his books flying off the bookshelves. Gina told him Black Pawn wanted him to wait to resume publicity when he was ready. Castle suspected that was more on her than on the company, but it didn't matter as he was going to hold them to it.

Paula, his agent, was the last work call he made. She actually wanted him to do more interviews. She was getting calls by top A-list journalists instead of talk shows and entertainment reporters and she was more than a little disappointed when he told her no. She reminded him that this type of media attention never lasts long, but he insisted he wasn't going to use it at all. He just wanted to be with his family.

Once done with that, he made the phone calls he'd been actually looking forward to: Ryan and Esposito. Castle smiled remembering their conversation.

"Yo, Castle, if I had known you were going to be adventuring I'd let you take back that rock climbing equipment you gave me." Esposito joked.

Castle smiled. "Yeah, I wish I had known how much I'd be needing something like that."

Ryan wasn't able to joke that easily. His voice strained, he worried, "Castle, are you really okay? Jenny was concerned they released you from the hospital too soon …"

"No, I'm fine, I promise, Kevin," Castle reassured. "I probably didn't have to spend the night but they wanted to monitor me just to be on the safe side."

"How's Beckett?" Esposito asked.

Castle's eyes found her talking to Alexis across the room. Kate seemed to sense this and made eye contact, smiling at him. He returned it. "Hanging in there. How was she during this?"

Neither of the guys answered right away. Choosing his words very carefully, Esposito said, "Determined."

"Right." Castle imagined.

More small talk with the guys and Ryan catching Castle up with Jenny's pregnancy and he was off the phone. There were other people he should have called, but they could wait. One of the two good consequences of near death experiences was that they always resulted in Martha working hard to make a fabulous meal. This time she stayed away from the gourmet stuff, since they were still reintroducing food to him. Castle was just glad this time it was solid foods with meat. It was delicious.

Everyone turned in rather early, the toll of the last few days hitting even Alexis and Martha. This resulted in the other good consequence of near death experiences: Kate and he having "I'm glad you are alive" sex. Their initial kisses were soft and slow, but it didn't take long for repressed passions to take over. It wasn't just the last week with his kidnapping, but also how little they saw each other over the summer. For every kiss and caress, each could feel not just longing, but the love that they shared. Castle could see it in her eyes, those fabulous eyes he had described to Johanna, were on full beams and she looked like she never wanted to let him go. That was fine by Castle; he didn't want her to.

Eventually exhausting themselves, they fell asleep where Castle slept hard until right before daybreak. They had forgotten to close the curtains and he was probably extra sensitive to the sunlight, which is what woke him up. Carefully untangling himself from Kate he had put on a robe and had a flash of Johanna. Realizing he'd probably already forgotten some of what was said and done in the cave, he did what any writer would do and transcribed it.

Task completed, Castle could already feel that the memories of Royce, Roy, and Johanna were fading. After writing down how they had helped him he had no doubt they were really there. Too much guidance and advice had been passed to him and it was amazing to read how just the right person was there at the right time to talk him into doing what he needed to do. Castle shuddered to think what would have happened if he'd been alone. In fact, he knew those earlier statements about his death true.

"What are you doing?"

So lost in his memories, Castle jumped. Kate had put on her robe and came out of the bedroom to find him. He blushed. "You scared me."

She smiled while approaching him slowly. "I'm sorry. But when I woke up you weren't beside me … that, I thought …"

It didn't even occur to Castle leaving her would confuse her. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't think … you thought yesterday had been a dream?"

"For a couple of seconds." He tried to stand up but she stopped him, placing her arms on his shoulders. She turned his chair so that she could sit in his lap, which he happily accepted. "Then I remembered last night and that was no dream."

He grinned. "It sure wasn't." She cupped his cheek and he brought his hand up. He wanted to kiss her hand. That's when he felt it. "Hey, you're wearing your engagement ring."

"Yeah," she said shyly. She stared at it with him. "Now I can wear it since I don't have a job that prevents me from having it."

Castle felt the guilt well up within him at the reminder she quit her job. "Kate, are you really sure—"

"Yes!" saying it with love, not anger. "Castle, these last few days have been a nightmare and normally I could look to my job to get me through this. I should have been, but not this time."

Castle kissed her, which she returned. The softness of her lips was so welcoming, but he sensed she had another need other than physical. Pulling away, he leaned in so he could get a better look at her.

Taking a breath, Kate got up and grabbed another chair, arranging it to be directly across from him. She clearly wanted to talk about this but doing it in his lap wasn't going to work. Putting her left hand on his desk, she stared at it. "When I came home that first night, I was so excited. I was actually getting off early. Well, not early, because it was after five, but we would've had the whole evening to ourselves. I couldn't wait to surprise you."

Castle flinched at her words. He could see clearly the image of Kate walking into the house and not finding him there.

"When I walked in, I could tell you weren't home. It was dark and very, very quiet." She smiled knowing he usually made noise wherever he went. "I just thought you were out on an errand or something. It's not like I ever got home on time. So I took my phone and went to call you. That's when I heard yours."

Castle blinked. He had forgotten all about his phone. "You have my phone?"

"Well, the FBI have it now actually, but yes. Smith had brought your phone in here. He hung it with a rope in the living room. I walked in and saw it. I knew then …" She blinked away tears.

"God, Kate, I'm so sorry." He took her hands. He hated to see her upset.

This actually made her laugh a little. "Oh, Castle, it's not like you did anything wrong and got yourself kidnapped. He was a lunatic."

Castle nodded, but it still felt like he held some responsibility. "Maybe if I had just read that stupid manuscript he wouldn't have …"

"Actually, if you had, he would have taken someone else. And I know you. You would have felt directly responsible for his actions." Her logic was true. Castle hadn't thought of that.

She went on. "Anyway, when I got into your phone he had the video camera pulled up. He had a video of you unconscious. He was saying this is the last time we'd ever see you alive.

"I immediately called Villante. I'm amazed I was in control of my own voice. He and the team didn't waste time, they were here so quickly all of them: Rachel, Hendricks, and the tech squad. It seemed likely that our recent case might have been connected to you. Apparently it's standard protocol when a team member or their family is in danger because it might be due to our own jobs."

It took all of Castle's self control not to ask her what the hell they were doing, how much danger was she in all the time, but he knew it was important not to interrupt her again.

"While those leads were being investigated I tried to call your mother and daughter, and that's when it first started happening, me realizing how much I hated my job." She let that sink in, and then continued. "You see, in our cases, the victims are secondary. Of course, we want to find justice for them and help them, but its national security and keeping the pubic, all the public, safe. So … trying to reach the victim's families to alert them to the situation is not part of protocol unless they have knowledge to help the case."

Castle cringed. "Wow. So I guess with Mother and Alexis being in New York it was unlikely they would have any knowledge as to why I was taken."

Her face was harder now, the bitterness of those conversations coming back to her. "Remember, we were working on the assumption you were taken because of my job, that either my last case of a recent one was at the root. Martha and Alexis had no connection to that, so it was unnecessary to bring them in yet."

Now she was starting to get angry. Standing up, she began pacing. "I was so angry. You were missing and I was ordered to keep this information from the people you love most!"

"It's okay, Kate," Castle said. It was over now. "It did work out."

"Only because I did break that protocol!" Kate admitted. She stopped pacing and went to the window to stare out. "We were getting nowhere on our side of things, obviously because Smith wasn't part of any of my cases, but we didn't know that. I decided to take a chance and get more people involved. So I contacted Esposito and Ryan."

This shocked Castle. "Could they help on a federal case?"

She shook her head. "Not really. Not officially at least. I didn't care. They are good at digging up information and I wasn't about to not use all the resources that I could to find you. " Taking a breath, she turned to him. "Javi actually thought it was Tyson who had grabbed you. He was convinced of it."

"That sounds like something I would say."

She chuckled. "Yeah, it does. And I wasn't going to dismiss it. Anything was possible at this point. That idea led them to Black Pawn. If Tyson were stalking you he could have gotten information from them."

"That's true," Castle said. "My appearances are made public to generate buzz and interest. Oh, wait, if Ryan and Esposito approached them, they had to explain something had happened to me!"

She nodded. "Right. They told Gina first. Just that you were missing, and they asked who was in charge of your appearances. That's when they spoke to Katelyn."

"She was assigned to me when I came here. She's nice though, and very prepared—" Castle stopped, remembering she had met Smith. "Hey, she actually met him. Brown, I mean, Smith. Are you telling me …"

"That's right," Kate smiled. "Smith sent her the manuscript. Well, he sent it to you, but you told him to send it to Black Pawn and he apparently remembered her that night. It's the publisher's policy to record all manuscripts sent to them, to protect themselves from any legalities if they were to be sued."

"Right."

"She was new enough though that she hadn't gotten a manuscript before. So she read it first. What struck her most was it was badly written, but the plot stayed in her mind, and that it had been addressed for you. She immediately told Ryan and Esposito."

"That was a lucky break." Castle felt a shiver run over him.

Kate shook her head. "Not exactly. Smith did a good job clearing his tracks on the manuscript itself. No prints. There was a PO box for you to correspond with, but when he decided to kidnap you he closed it. He paid cash for it and was very good at staying clear from the cameras. However there were cameras outside the store and he missed those. Finally we had a picture. Meanwhile, I now had to also tell Alexis and Martha. I didn't care about protocol anymore, and even Gina knew at this point. They should know, too. When Villante found out all hell broke loose."

Castle reached for her arm, gently caressing it. "But they really didn't hold that against you, did they? This whole thing was an extraordinary and extreme situation. Surely you had some leeway …"

"No, Castle, not in this job." Kate said. "We have to be careful. We do work directly for the AG and no liberties can be taken when it comes to cases. However, Javi and Kevin had proven your kidnapping was not related to me or the team and as such it could become a standard FBI investigation."

Her tone dictated she was not happy with that decision. "Uh-huh, you didn't care for that, I take it."

"Bringing in a whole new team at that stage? It was ridiculous and was going to waste time. Now, to be fair, Villante was sympathetic. He made arrangements so that Ryan and Esposito could keep working on the case. He also made arrangements for Alexis and Martha to come to DC. I was appreciative."

She paused. "He also gave me time off to work this out. I could tell he was not optimistic we would find you and he knew something like that could ..." She didn't go on.

Castle stood up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He turned them to the window. He felt her relax in his embrace and kissed her neck. "So I guess he was in the database?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't allowed to use it at first. By then my team was off the case and that database is for our exclusive use. I'd already broken the rules with your family so Villante was more than adamant we not break anymore. If it had just been up to me, he wouldn't have agreed."

"Someone else persuaded?" Castle was surprised. Castle immediately thought of his father.

Kate nodded but didn't elaborate. The raw emotion on her face kept Castle from pushing, however the approval came through, she wasn't ready to talk about it. "We were right, Smith was in the database. He's a surveyor for the county and did some government field sites."

She paused and Castle felt her body shiver. "When we showed up at his door, he was shocked. He did not expect us to find him. He immediately asked for a lawyer. If I hadn't had other officials around me, I would have pressed him harder." Castle didn't need her to spell out what she meant. "We got a warrant for his computer and though it was encrypted, it wasn't that difficult for the FBI techs to break. I…I saw that video of you."

Now Castle was surprised. "What video?"

"You were in the cave. You'd just woken up. You found the camera and tore it out."

"Right." That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Yeah, well, I will have that memory for the rest of my life." She tightened her hands on his forearms. "We then got the call. Those kids out in Lynn's Crossing had triggered the sensors and the shaft had imploded."

Castle inhaled sharply. If he had stayed where he was, he would have died. "Sounds like he thought of everything."

She shook her head. "Not of his own imprisonment. When we went back to the cell to talk to him, to find out if that was really where he left you, he had hung himself."

"Oh, Kate."

She shivered. "I broke down then. It seemed so unreal, all of it. But I kept hoping we'd find you. I went out to the site, had to see it for myself. I wouldn't let Martha or Alexis go and they were angry—"

Her voice broke then. He turned her around. He was going to tell her yet again that it worked out but by now she let it go. She cried and he held her. Castle didn't have to be there to know Kate tried to compartmentalize everything, that she pushed her fears for him away and pushed the rest of herself into finding him, into saving him. When she thought she failed, he knew how she pushed that onto herself.

Eventually, she relaxed. Pulling back, she smiled some. "Anyway, the next morning, I got a phone call from you, and then everything was going to be okay."

He had so much to say to her, but when he went to open his mouth all that came out was a simple, "And it will."

I'm sorry this is so heavy on exposition. But I wanted to let Kate tell her own experiences and let Castle hear them. Kate probably was more emotional in my FF than Dreamworld. I make no apologies. :) Reviews?