Chapter 6
"Go ahead and wait out here, guys," Aang said to Bumi and Kya. The two exchanged a knowing look and chose chairs outside Dr. Beifong's office without argument. Aang was on a rare warpath.
"Toph. Are you free?"
The educator reclined in her seat; toes bared on her desk in her usual fashion.
"Aang? Come on in…" right on time. I could've set my watch…
Aang closed the door behind him but didn't move to sit as he brandished a paper in one hand. "Do you think you can explain this to me?"
Toph laughed softly. "You're hilarious" she said, waiting for Aang to continue, and basking in her sowed seeds of chaos. She could practically feel his heartbeat raging.
"A Daddy-Daughter dance? Really, Toph? What year is this?" he demanded, waving the take-home flier at his blind friend once more. Even faced with his uncharacteristic anger, she remained seemingly unfazed.
"The Academy hosts multiple themed dances every year. Surely you know that by now." She responded innocently.
"Yeah, and none of the others are gender-based. C'mon, Toph—you know better than this. What about boys who want to go to the dance? Or girls with two mothers? What about kids or parents who are non-binary? What about—" Aang lowered his voice, glancing back at the office door, "kids who are in Kya's situation?"
Toph had pulled in a foot, making a show of picking at it with a thoughtful look on her face. "Hm. Well, I don't think we ever turn people away. Any student can go with any of their parents. It's not like we're going to be asking pronouns at the door."
"That's not the point, and you know it." Aang boomed louder, then took a steadying breath before continuing. "It's hurtful. It's exclusionary. It's completely unnecessary… You should change the name. Call it a family night or something."
Toph's stubbornness was pure granite. "Not everything is about everyone, Aang. This is a time-honored tradition meant to foster—"
"—foster a reminder to kids whose dad isn't in the picture?"
"No. It's meant to be a pause in daily life to reinforce family bonds that—"
"— are designed to reinforce roles and inspire HETERONORMATIVE POLICIES THAT DEVALUE—" Aang cut in, only to be out-shouted.
"MEANT TO FORCE THE DADS WHO DON'T GIVE A CRAP TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS. THIS IS NOT ABOUT KYA. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!" Toph had come to a stand, her hands slamming down on the desk. Aang sucked in a defeated breath, and they stood for a moment in silence.
"…my father provided me with every material good I needed for success and then some," Toph said in a much quieter voice, "…and I would have given all of it, down to the shoes off my feet for more time with him. That's what I'm trying to provide here. Kya already has someone who shows her he cares—that's why you're really here, isn't it?"
Aang slumped into one of the overstuffed chairs in front of her desk. "I'm sorry, Toph… I get what you're trying to accomplish, really, I do. I still think it's at the expense of something that could be impactful to more people."
Toph chewed her tongue for a while before responding. "A situation can be as impactful as we want it to be, so long as you face it head-on. When are you going to tell Katara about your feelings for her?"
Aang's back bolted straight with surprise. He presumed Toph was fishing and knew little, if anything, about the kiss he and Katara had shared. After all, they hadn't breathed a word to anyone (as far as he knew)—not even to each other. Instead, the two had shared a few awkward moments at work, fumbling whenever hands touched, or shoulders rubbed before settling back into their usual banter as though the moment had never happened.
Something had awakened in Aang during that kiss, though.
Emotions he'd interred in thick ice, buried beneath layers of guarded amiability and watery platitudes even years after swearing them off entirely—Katara's lips broke through them like an adze to an ice sheet that night, and every night thereafter as he lay alone with his thoughts.
How does one drown in a single, most ordinary kiss? She'd given it to him as an afterthought, lips brushing with such nonchalance that he knew the fire she lit inside him, the ache for more of her that made his limbs practically restless now, was in response to less than a percentage of her attention.
And so every night since then, he laid sleepless, wondering what her kiss would feel like if she'd actually desired him: a tsunami, probably. How else could it feel to be kissed on purpose by someone filled with so much passion, compassion, kindness, and hope? Spirits. He wanted to breathe Katara like water and drown in her rejection. The realization was terrifying. Finally, he spoke.
"Katara has made it very clear from the beginning that she cherishes our friendship. So do I." he said defeatedly. Toph remained unmoved, so he continued. "Look, I'm not gonna be one of those people who tries to sneak in from the friendzone. Believe me, I know how bad that feels." He thought of the numerous people who'd attempted the same with him. "I don't want her thinking it was all under false pretense. I can't imagine hurting…her."
Toph yawned theatrically. "Forgive me. That is such bullshit Aang." The man sighed deeply, rubbing at his newly blossoming headache.
"This has nothing to do with Katara and everything to do with you being too afraid of making a family again and losing it."
"I HAVE a family! I HAVE something to lose!" Aang cried out, nerves fraying. "You have no idea Toph—so out of line—"
"Oh please!" she persisted, "I know you better than most, Aang. You think you want to be a leaf on the wind, that avoiding every possible risk is what's going to keep you safe—"
"NO. It's because—"
"—It's because you blame yourself for Bumi's mother and you don't think you deserve totake a risk—"
"IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT, TOPH. I'M EMPTY, OKAY?" Aang roared. "Alright? Katara is the best person I—" Aang breathed another tortured breath. "If I put myself out there and she doesn't want me…there would be nothing left."
Toph gave a quiet sigh, moved finally with some sympathy. She shifted from around the desk and rewarded Aang with a meaningful, albeit slightly painful hug.
"I'm not going to cancel the dance OR change the name" she concluded doggedly once more. "But next year it will be called Family Night. You should think about who you'll invite."
-0-0-0-
"Last chance—are you sure you don't want to go to the dance, bud?" Aang asked, straightening his jacket. Under normal circumstances, Bumi probably would. Instead, he hardly glanced up from his notebook.
"No thanks" he said simply, and Aang grinned up at Katara who leaned against the wall behind the boy.
"It would seem that Bumi is near the end of a proof. Good luck with that!" Aang joked at her. Outside, an elated but impatient Kya honked the motorbike horn.
"Wow. I guess I better go then" he laughed and departed with a cheeky grin.
Katara settled in on the couch with a book. She understood from many of Aang's pride-soaked stories that when Bumi was in his head, it was best to simply let him work through the math on his own. The boy lay sprawled on the carpet with a set of battered notebooks and a leviathan spread of loose-leaf papers. Katara often forgot how young the two were when their interests and behaviors lay so far outside the bell curve. Now, ringed by reams of impossible scribble, he looked smaller, more his age.
She was surprised when, after a short time Bumi sighed and stood up, leaving his papers, and retrieving his Gameboy.
"Wow, did you finish already?" Katara asked, impressed.
Bumi laughed softly. "What, this? No way. I'm at a wall right now." The answer was confusing to her. Was she missing something? When Kya struggled on a piano piece, the solution was always to keep going and push through the mistakes until the child finally mastered the song. How different was an equation, really?
"Do you always stop when you hit a wall? What if you were to back up a little and see where you went wrong? Wouldn't that help?" she probed.
Bumi shrugged non-committedly. "Maybe, but usually if I take a break, I'll eventually just find another way around it."
Katara shut her book and moved over to his mess. If it bothered Bumi to have her thumb through his papers, he made no indication as he lay there playing, his tongue sticking out with concentration. The loose-leaf papers were riddled with disjunctive formulae, written in an 8-year-old's scrawl. It was clear from the shifts in pen types and smears that each small section represented a different session. His progress was snail-like. The notebooks were somehow worse.
"I'm not a mathematician," Katara inclined, "but I don't think it's the math that's the problem here. No pun intended."
Bumi shrugged again. "Eh. I'm not worried about it—hey!" Bumi jumped up in annoyance as Katara snatched the video game from the boy's grasp. Katara fixed him with a stern gaze.
"Yes, you are. Look at you—it's written all over your face. No, what you're going to do is push through. Look at where you're at Bumi, you're almost there! You can do this."
Bumi smiled sheepishly, faltering slightly as he glanced over his paper stack. "I've lost track of the order of these" he confessed.
"Mhmm" Katara agreed pensively as she moved the papers around so they each could be seen. Eventually she looked up smiling.
"I know exactly what you need, Bumi."
-0-0-0-
Like a desert flower, Kya bloomed from her harsh façade with minimal water. She had wasted no time pulling her hair out of its tight plait the moment they were out of Katara's view, spreading her arms wide and allowing the wind to whip it into a mess that would make her mother cringe. Where Aang had expected the timid girl might need some reassurance, he was surprised to find her embrace the room with confidence, boldly introducing him to every person she knew— "This is my—this is Mr. Aang!". He beamed at her enthusiasm.
Kya squealed when they ran into Izumi with Zuko, and the girls promptly abandoned them to go dance. Zuko attempted to probe.
"Watching each other's kids is one thing but attending school functions seems a little more…serious. Anything I should know about?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Aang lied.
"Uh-huh. And the cranefish I found infesting my office this week? The ones that pooped on my keyboard. I don't suppose you know anything about that either?"
"Oh, were they the cranefish from east bay whose habitat you're pushing to destroy in favor of yet another block of apartments? No, I have no idea who put them there to remind you of the consequences of habitat loss." Aang lied again.
Kya bounded over. "It's my favorite song! The one you got me the sheet music for!"
Aang smiled widely. "Well, what are we waiting for!? Take my hand." He waved delightedly at Zuko's sour face as he followed Kya away.
-0-0-0-
It was late when they returned. Katara heard Aang fumbling at the door, trying to get the key into the lock and she moved quickly to help. Her insides fluttered when she was greeted by his usual smile, carrying a sleeping Kya against his shoulder, bundled in his jacket. Awed, Katara simply placed a hand over her own mouth to prevent the coo bubbling up in her throat and accepted the tiny Kya shoes that Aang handed to her as he tiptoed into the condo.
"Put her in my bed" Katara whispered, "Bumi's asleep in hers."
They worked in tandem, Katara fetching pajamas and Aang holding her gently while they peeled her out of her party dress. Kya protested with some sleepy grumbling and clutched his neck tighter. Aang tucked her in, and Katara's eyes dilated with emotion as she watched him. He padded her blankets with care and regarded the girl with affection. It was a gaze Katara knew well, as she too had been on the receiving end of it. Aang kissed Kya's forehead like he'd done it every day of the girl's life and stood to leave.
"You really wore her out!" Katara managed after they closed the door.
Aang yawned and stretched, "No, other way around actually! I'm exhausted."
"Stay here tonight," Katara offered, and when Aang protested, she cut him off. "C'mon, you don't really want to wake up Bumi and make him drive in a side-car all the way back to the island? It's late. I'll make up the couch for you. And I have some of Sokka's old sweatpants you can borrow."
Aang sighed gratefully. "Thanks, Katara. You're the best."
He swallowed hard when he came back from the bathroom, now sporting ancient gray sweats that were unintentionally thin from endless washings. Katara had her back to him, bent over the couch on her knees as she tucked soft sheets in around the cushions. Her supple rear bounced slightly with the effort and Aang stifled a whimper that turned quickly into a groan of horror when he finally noticed the wall.
A riot of color now spackled a wall previously decorated with smartly framed photos from Katara's favorite photographer. They lay on the dining table, and in their place was Bumi's unmistakable hand, an endless conjunction of math now taking up most of the wall.
"Hopping hogmonkeys. Katara. I am so sorry. I cannot believe he did this. He knows better…" he breathed, mortified.
"Oh yeah" Katara laughed, glancing back at the wall with shiny eyes. "That was my idea, actually."
Aang quirked an eyebrow in surprise, and Katara explained, "the paper method just isn't working for him. He needs to be able to see the whole thing all at once. Plus, we came up with this idea of having a color code- see, the black is the main line, notes in green here… I think it really helped…look right there."
Aang followed her gaze to the bottom of the wall and recognized a large swath of new work. "He's finished it?!"
"Well, no…" Katara amended, "but he's much, much closer now."
"Katara" Aang exhaled, smiling widely. "But what about the wall? Look at this…" and Katara shrugged, adopting a version of his lopsided grin.
"Eh. It's washable."
The delighted father closed the distance between them and enveloped her in a tight hug that lifted her off the ground entirely. "Katara! You're a mad genius!" and she giggled at his affection.
"I could just…kiss you!" he blurted out, sending his heart into immediate rapid fire as he slid her back down his body, returning her toes to the floor. "I mean…you know. Not kiss you. I wouldn't—you know…I wouldn't presume to just…."
Katara blushed deeply but didn't break her intense gaze. "Yeah. We should probably talk about the other day…"
Aang nodded and led the way to the couch wordlessly. They stared for a while, fumbling on where to start, who would start.
"I don't know what came over me the other day" she began. "I swear it was completely unintentional. I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Aang. Please believe me that I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship. You mean more to me than I can possibly say, and some of that kind of…bubbled out, I guess…"
She won't jeopardize our friendship.
Aang placed a reassuring hand on top of hers. He took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "There's nothing to apologize for, really Katara. I….I like you…more than normal."
Katara surveyed every millimeter of his face for clues as he continued. Aang rubbed his neck nervously.
"I mean! Not that…that I would do anything to push our friendship either! Please don't think that I'm that kind of person, with some sort of shifty agenda. But…at the same time, I really didn't mind. It's…uh. It's been a very long time since I've been kissed. It was…" he laughed bashfully, which finally brought Katara a smile of relief.
"It was really sweet."
He's trying to let me down easy. He's getting spooked. I'm coming on too strong.
"No, it's just! Spirits, I don't mean to do this…I think I'm just naturally physically affectionate, you know? I forget that sometimes people aren't as free with their hugs and…uh kisses…" she backpedaled desperately. Aang swallowed hard to mask his disappointment.
She's physically affectionate. She would have kissed anyone in the same situation.
"No. Yeah. I get it…I didn't think it was—"
"And if I'm being completely honest? It's been years since I've kissed someone" Katara groaned. "It's like it's all…. uh…. bottled up." She attempted to joke. Aang's face peaked brightly with an idea.
"Oh! You need touch. It's like a love language to you. You literally express yourself through touching, I've read about this."
"Yeah," Katara laughed, feeling no small amount saved by this excuse. "It's hard when you're alone and you sort of forget how to—" but was stopped abruptly as Aang pressed his lips firmly against hers. She gasped into it, the surprise of it sending all her hair on end. He kissed her with firm but slow strokes, chaste pressure that she returned in a series of sweet smecks that left him breathless until he finally managed to pull away. His gaze was hungry, breath wispy.
"I don't mind kissing you. You're my best friend, Katara. I can do that, if you need to…you know…keep it from bottling up."
"Yeah" she agreed all too quickly, her eyes still locked on his shining, swollen lips. "Yeah, I think that would really help. Not pushing you…just…"
"Just kissing," he whispered, before melting into her again. This time they moved closer, pushing against one another as their mouths slackened. Aang's mind was blissfully blank, basking in the closeness of her, the smell of her, then the electrifying thrill of her tongue against his own. It was wicked to use such an excuse and yet he couldn't summon an ounce of himself to care.
Likewise, Katara's entire body pulsed and flushed like the release of a spillway. Maybe it wasn't a complete lie, she realized, as she embraced the profound high buzzing through her while moving against his tongue. She wound her hands around his neck, crawled into his lap, and melted into the hand that grasped at her hair. The brush of skin on skin, building in intensity with each grasp sent her into physical bliss.
They were gasping and trembling as Aang clutched at the base of her ribs. A train with no breaks, their mouths becoming more and more frenetic as the tension spilled over and continued to swell towards breaking.
He wanted her.
He had never wanted anything more than he wanted her at this moment.
"Uh….Dad?"
The two parents jumped back from each other like they'd been struck by lightning. Bumi stood in the hall, rubbing his eyes. "Kya pushed me out of her bed." He complained.
"She put her stinky feet on me."