Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or Twin Peaks.

Harry might get a little OOC, but I'm having trouble with him, so cut me some slack. This is in a world where Lassie and Marlowe aren't married, so don't get on his case about Audrey. As usual, please review!

"Thanks for your time, James." Harry said as he ushered him out of the station. "Oh, hey, Coop. Who are your friends?"

Cooper introduced them. "This is Juliet, Shawn, Carlton and Gus. They're detectives from Santa Barbara. I understand you called them in."

"I did. Carlton and I went to college together. He owed me a favor. Do y'all want a tour?" They nodded.

"Excuse me? Sherriff Truman?" An airy voice called from the desk.

"Oh, of course! This is Lucy Moran, receptionist extraordinaire. Lucy, these are some cops from Santa Barbara. They're here to help with the Laura Palmer case."

She smiled. "Hello, Detectives. Can I get you anything?"

Carlton nodded. "Black coffee for my partner and I, apple juice in a sippy cup for Spencer, I have no idea what Guster drinks."

Gus rolled his eyes. "Black coffee, please."

She nodded and left the room.

"So, Detectives, what do you need to know?" Harry asked.

"Can we see the case file?" Jules asked.

"Oh, sure. Andy?" A tall man came to his side. "This is Deputy Andy Brennan. Andy, can you grab the Palmer case file?" The man walked away and returned momentarily with the file.

Shawn abruptly dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Coop's legs. "I'm getting...toffee! No...coffee! That's it! You have it with pie! It's your favorite meal, but it's a recent discovery. Oh!" he writhed before falling into fetal position.

Cooper helped him up. "Spencer, that's incredible. Harry, why doesn't the Twin Peaks PD have a resident psychic?"

"The Log La—Margaret—was briefly considered, but we couldn't afford her." He said with a smile.

"I could be a phone consultant." Shawn suggested.

Harry shook his head. "We have one square foot of service. I don't think phone consulting would work."

"Well, I suppose not. Can we meet the players?"

Coop nodded. "Sure. Bobby is being held, I can get my hands on everyone else pretty easily."

O00oo00oo00O

Donna rolled her pretty brown eyes. "Why am I here, Agent Cooper?"

"Some detectives want to meet with you."

"Ugh, please tell me Albert isn't back."

"No, not him." Coop brought her to room where they were gathering the people. "These are Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara of the Santa Barbara Police Department. This is Shawn Spencer, a psychic, and his business partner Burton Guster. This is Donna Hayward. She was Laura's best friend."

Audrey strutted into the police station, scanning for the California detectives that were rumored to be in town. They were sitting in the lobby with Agent Cooper, who looked at her expectantly.

"Audrey! Hello!" He gave her a warm handshake. "Thanks for coming. These are detectives from Santa Barbara. I'll let them introduce themselves; I need to go get Bobby." He walked away.

"I'm Audrey Horne. And you are?"

Shawn spoke first. "I am Shawn Spencer, lead psychic of the SBPD. This is Lassie Lassiter, the head detective, his partner Jules O'Hara and my lovely assistant Magic Head."

"Enchanted, I'm sure. Lassie, that's a nice name. Is it a family name?"

Lassie glared. "It's actually a Spencer name. My name is Carlton."

"My name isn't Magic Head. Gus." Burton piped up.

She ignored Gus, and continued to flirt with Lassie. "So, Carlton, why did Agent Cooper call me down here?" She casually sucked her finger.

"We're meeting the players in the Laura Palmer case."

"Oh." Her face clouded over. "It's awful, isn't it?"

"It's horrible. That reminds me, do you need a grief councilor? I have the card of a great one right here." Jules said, giving Carlton a look. This girl was half his age.

"I'm okay, but thanks, Miss O'Hara."

"It's Detective—"

"Whatever. What's it like in California?"

"It's...nice, I suppose. I guess everything must seem nice when you come from a place like this."

"Carlton!" Juliet scolded. He could be so rude.

"No, it's fine. I like honesty. And men who carry guns. You're doing very well." She licked her lips slowly.

Carlton blushed. "Well—um—thank you."

She giggled. "My pleasure."

"Please assemble!" Coop whistled and instructed everyone to come into the meeting room.

"Detectives, meet the characters. Characters, meet the Detectives."