Once we were free of the Ministry, I Apparated us away as quickly as possible, and to the first place that came to mind. We were expected back at school by curfew, but Draco was in no state to return just yet, and I couldn't Apparate us directly into the Room of Requirement, so we landed in the middle of a quiet forest I was all too familiar with. Draco didn't seem to mind.
I just held him as he worked through his emotions, and he clung back to me like I was a raft in the ocean. "Fuck," he eventually choked out, and took a stuttering breath. "S-sorry, I… Didn't expect to s-see him there."
"I think it was a test, honestly. A sadistic, misguided test, but you passed. You're safe."
His arms tightened around my ribs, and I reciprocated until it was hard to breathe. When his weeping finally hushed to hiccups, his grip went slack around me and I gently pushed his shoulders back to study his face. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and a wry smile spread beneath his red nose as he gave a hard sniff.
"Y'know, I...'ve never cried in front of a-anyone before." His throat bobbed, and my heart skipped in my chest. "Thought he'd beaten it o-out of me by now."
Fuck, I'm so in love with him.
"I've never told anyone some of the things I've told you," I offered hesitantly. He lifted one hand to wipe his nose with his sleeve and nodded. "Thank you for trusting me with yourself."
Something bright shone in his wet eyes as he smiled a bit more genuinely at me, and my throat twisted into a knot. "Thanks for being… Safe."
Safe. It was such a foreign concept to me. My whole life, I'd never been truly safe. Not living with the Dursleys, not going to Hogwarts while evil wizards were gunning for my life, not even since I'd killed Voldemort. Hell, I'd killed a man out of self-defense when I was fucking eleven. I'd resigned myself to a life of paranoia and anxiety, but here, in this forest so littered with horrible memories, with Draco knelt before me and breathing, I…
I pulled him back into my arms so suddenly, he let out a startled little yelp, but as I pressed his chest to mine, and felt his steady heartbeat, it sank deep into my bones, and the knot in my throat forced a broken whimper through my lips.
"I love you so fucking much," I managed to utter in a strangled sort of cry as I buried my face into the crook of his neck. This. I want this forever.
Draco coughed a laugh that sounded more like a sob, and wrapped his arms back around me, and for the first time in my fucking life, I felt… Whole. Complete. At peace, and yet in horrible agony at how excruciatingly happy I was. Like surviving eighteen years of literal torture, only to have an incredible fucking orgasm when the pain stopped. Better than relief. It was totally overwhelming.
What a complete fucking one-eighty. From hate-fucking to opening up to being attracted to falling in love? Is this… Normal?
I didn't truly care - so much of my life was decidedly not normal - but even the whisper of wondering vanished from my mind as Draco pried himself from my grip and crushed his mouth onto mine. He kissed me like he'd just watched me come back to life, like he was trying to convince himself I was real. And I kissed him like I'd spent decades trying to get back to him.
His hands were rough in my hair, his kiss brutal, but it still wasn't enough. Wasn't close enough. I wanted to snog his goddamn soul, inhabit his body with him. All this body is getting in the way.
It was still a wild fucking concept that Harry Potter was in love with me, but the way he kissed me, clung to me, pressed against me… I actually started to believe it. Harry made me feel wanted in a way I'd never felt before. Not just for my status, or connections, not for anything I could give or do for him. He just wanted… Me. Valued me. Treasured me. Loved me. Something no one had ever shown me. And it was fucking good to know.
I could easily tell where our heated kiss was headed, though, and although it'd been me who'd suggested fucking by the lake that one time, I… Had no idea where we were. So with a frustrated groan, I tore myself from the vortex of his lips.
"Harry, we…" His lips were immediately back on mine, and I was set slightly off-kilter with his lunge. With the same motion, he pushed me back onto the forest floor, only breaking from my mouth to lean over me for a moment. Shit, his eyes were damn-near feral. I felt my own eyes widen as a swallow forced itself down my throat. "H-Harry…"
His focus snapped into my eyes, and I was granted a moment to catch my breath. A quick scan of my face, and then recognition. "S-sorry, I…"
The back-tracking sent me. Laughter burst, unbidden, from my lips as I clapped a hand onto my brow, and Harry hesitantly joined.
"Love-sick fucking idiot," I chuckled as I met the apprehension in his eyes. "Could we… Go somewhere?"
The caution in his gaze finally broke into something like relief as he lowered his forehead to mine. "Yeah, of course."
Another blissfully, nauseatingly in-love chuckle escaped my lips as we slipped through darkness and came out on a pleasant patch of grass.
I knew exactly where we were. And it still wasn't anywhere near what I assumed Draco'd meant when he said somewhere else, but I still couldn't resist the urge to lean down and steal another kiss. I didn't even give him a moment to come to bearings with his surroundings. Ease off, Harry. He's had a long day.
With a mental fortitude I'd carefully honed over months of having Riddle in my head, I propped myself back up over him, a lazy grin tugging at my lips. And Draco looked… Positively wrecked. His hair was all askew, lips swollen, eyes drooping but still bloodshot, and it took everything in me not to have him right then and there.
"Come on," I invited with a rushed sigh as I did, in fact, ease off him, and onto my knees. "We can still make curfew if we hurry."
With a suggestive smile, he accepted the hand I offered and I stood, pulling him to his feet with the same motion. He glanced around us as I led him by the hand I still held towards the castle. We could walk through the wards, just couldn't Apparate through them.
"Has anyone told you you're a bloody wicked powerful wizard?" Draco mused as he took in the landscape. I smirked.
"Yeah. You." He turned his own smirk back at me, and it bent into a slightly more adoring smile. And my gut clenched.
"Right." We shared a chuckle, and his hand tightened around mine. Christ, I was gonna do unspeakable things to this guy.
"Fight for my life it was, resisting irreparably maiming your father in some way." I felt Draco's attention snap onto my face, but I only grinned smugly. "Unintentionally," I amended.
"Wish you would have," he snorted. And then I did glance at him. A shadow haunted his brow as he watched the hill rise before us, but I knew if I tried to drive it away, I'd inevitably fuck him right outside the Quidditch pitch. So I only led us on with a sigh.
"Not that I wouldn't go to Azkaban for you, but it seemed a more fitting punishment for him to return right back to that hell than any wandless magic I could've conjured."
To my great relief, Draco laughed. And the sound predictably stirred butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't help but grin at him.
"I'd go to Azkaban for the chance to see you inflate him like your aunt."
I shouted a hearty, waist-folding laugh at the image he'd conjured in my imagination. Lucius inflated? I had to pause, and brace myself on my knees as hysterics took over. And nearly fell to the grass as I pictured the outraged, bloated face pouring out curses as he floated away into the sky.
Jesus fucking Christ, Harry was so damn beautiful when he laughed. I couldn't help but laugh along with him. Clearly, it'd been very amusing when he'd inflated his aunt, because he was wiping tears from his eyes and laughing harder than I'd ever seen him. And it was… Dammit, as much as I wanted to fuck him, it was fucking hilarious.
I wouldn't allow our progress to halt, or our curfew to be missed, though, so I dragged him the rest of the way up the hill and towards the castle as we fought to catch our breaths. Harry periodically kept losing it to hysterics, which, in turn, sent me, but we made it eventually.
"You're so fucking mental, you know that?" I teased as we closed in on the greenhouse entrance.
Harry only tugged his glasses off his face and wiped his eyes with the edge of his shirt as we barely made curfew. And I couldn't help an appreciative glance at the midriff he exposed.
"I do, in fact, and I'm having the time of my life," he giggled. My cheeks started to ache from grinning.
We raced through the greenhouse back into the hallways, up several stairs and back to the Room, all the while giggling like a pair of love-drunk lunatics until we were finally alone. Harry finally released my hand as he stumbled towards the bed and flopped down onto it. I leaned against the door, still fighting the ache in my cheeks as our chuckles fizzled out. And then Harry flipped onto his back, propped up on his elbows, and eyed me like I was a befuddling puzzle he was determined to figure out.
"What?" I asked, shifting my weight slightly as his grin spread wider.
"You sure you're up for this? You've had… Quite a day."
The softness in his eyes was what caused my wince, not his words. I knew I'd had a tumultuous twenty-four hours, but it was the gentility of his observance that stung. In a good way, but also painful. I was still a whole host of issues away from gladly accepting his sympathy.
"Y-yeah," I eventually said. And cleared my throat as I pushed off the door and started towards him. "I think I… I need this."
Being honest with myself was actually somehow harder than being honest with Harry, which was fucking difficult. But I forced myself anyway. And as I approached him, he lifted himself off the bed to sit upright, never looking away from me.
"You can have me any way you want me," he said. And my heart lurched. His expression was so open, so accepting. And my lips twitched a grin as I swelled in my pants.
"I… I love you," I choked. Shit, when does saying that get easier? Harry only smiled, and gripped my hips, drawing me closer.
"I love you, too, Draco."
My name in his mouth set all my hair follicles on end.