Faberry fic #2…

Description: God had abandoned Quinn Fabray. He'd left her alone with nothing. Without popularity, without hope, without love. What would it take to have hope and faith again?

Quinn Fabray had a habit of changing herself when who she was no longer worked. First she'd gone from being Lucy Quinn Fabray to just… Quinn Fabray. That had worked well for her for years. Beauty, she realized, only worked in your favor if it was on the outside. So Quinn Fabray had come into existence, the gorgeous blonde cheerleader with a strong love for the God who had granted her every single thing she'd ever wanted in life. Popularity, good looks, a boyfriend, captaincy for the Cheerios… God was good to Quinn Fabray as he had never been for Lucy. Or at least, she had thought so.

Until Beth.

A lot of people seemed to think that thoughts of the baby she'd given up made her sad or filled her with regret, and that's why she didn't talk about her. But no. No, that wasn't it. The only thing Quinn Fabray felt when she thought of Beth was anger. The only feeling she had not having her was relief. Not that Quinn hated that baby- because she didn't. She didn't feel much for her at all. The one she hated was God. God had done this to her, had ruined everything she'd built up. God had taken everything from her. Puck, Finn, Sam. Brittany and Santana. Beth. Her popularity. When she lost prom queen, something in her snapped. When she lost Finn, the broken halves crumbled and her faith had diminished. Where was God? Why had He been so cruel?

So, Quinn Fabray had changed again.

Senior year was the debut of Q Fabray. Just Q- Quinn no longer existed. Q Fabray didn't give a shit about things like popularity. She didn't care how people saw her or if they thought she was pretty or wholesome or pure. She didn't care about mundane things like love. And she hated God. She dyed her hair pink because she liked the color pink and to hell what anyone else thought. She wore the inverted cross because she wanted to rub it in His face that she didn't want or need Him anymore. She wore black because it seemed like the color to wear when you didn't care if people paid attention anymore (or if you secretly wanted people to notice how much you'd changed). She fell in with people she had no business falling in with, she smoked, she drank, she… had sex. Sex, she'd discovered, was fun when your inhibitions melted away. When it no longer mattered who your partner was- popular, smart, going somewhere… male. All of those qualifications stopped mattering.

The first girl she slept with was a blue-haired motorcycle rider named Monica. She was gorgeous and badass and exactly the type of person Quinn's – Q's – parents would disapprove of. She was actually pretty nice (something one might not expect from a person who looked like her) and she was… really good with her hands. They spent a lot of time together and the sex was easy, no strings- and it wasn't going to get her knocked up. Win-win. And when she went back to McKinley, which Monica didn't attend, they'd tried to keep up with the whole thing. But there was no love on either side, and though they were friends still, they didn't care enough about keeping up a relationship to maintain it. Friends with occasional benefits suited them- and Q Fabray didn't care. She could do affairs. She could do friends with benefits. Love was for people who believed in it.

She sat outside the school during second period math, her back pressed to the wall of the building in the little space between the language classrooms and the gymnasium. It was a private place where she wouldn't be bothered- a place she knew about because she'd once returned to the Spanish three classroom junior year for a book she'd left behind and spotted Santana and Brittany locked together just outside the window. A moment later the two had slid down the wall and disappeared on the ground below, much to an embarrassed Quinn's surprise. It must have been super private if the supposedly 'straight as a board' Santana Lopez was making out with her best friend there.

So that's where Q smoked, since Brittany and Santana no longer needed the privacy. They were dating and in love, after all. Q snorted out a laugh. In love. What bull. Well, best of luck to them. If anyone deserved the elusive and pretty much nonexistent emotion, it was those two. I'll just chill here alone. Q didn't mind. No, not at all. She didn't need love or friends or any of that shit. She didn't need her dreams to come true. There were a lot of things Quinn had prayed to God for in the passing years that Q didn't care about now. There was only one dream that lingered, but it was impossible and so she pushed it to the far back of her mind where Lucy and Quinn were both locked up.

"Quinn, that is extremely bad for your health." Slowly Quinn looked up, hazel eyes skirting over to the tiny brunette now standing at the mouth of the nook's entrance. There it was, the one thing she'd wanted and finally confessed to wanting a month before the start of school. Rachel Berry. She let a cold smirk curve her lips, deliberately bringing the slim black cigarette to her lips again for another drag. As she did so, Rachel came forward slowly, eyes locked with distaste on the cigarette perched between the once-blonde's lips. Q deliberately blew the cloud of scented smoke in her direction and watched her nose wrinkle. "Must you do that? Ruining the future career you could obtain with your vocal abilities is one thing, but please don't sabotage mine." When Q still said nothing, only continued smoking, she made a frustrated sound and stepped forward. Her fingers plucked the cigarette from Quinn's fingers and tossed it down while the taller girl stared in surprise at her.

"What do you think you're doing, Yentl?" she snapped coldly. The last time they'd talked had been a month before when the smaller girl had tried to confront her, only for Q to act someone cruel and kiss her- hard. Time had passed and they hadn't said a word- and now here she was, stomping out Q's cigarette with a deliberate smile on her face. She turned suddenly and stepped into the pink-haired girl's personal bubble, her hands reaching out to grip hers.

"Quinn-"

"Q," she snapped, her temper slipping a bit.

"Quinn." Her expression was firmly set. "I must tell you, I think you're doing yourself a great disfavor by quitting Glee and picking up this nasty habit. And this loner act… Quinn, the club misses you." She hesitated before whispering, "I missed you."

"You had your chance," Q said, as she had before. But there was a lot less power than there had been the first time, her cruel façade wavering under the steady, warm look the diva was giving her. "I told you, this summer…"

"I know. And I've been thinking a lot about it, Quinn… And I want you, too. I would very much like to be your friend. Your girlfriend. I care about you, so much. I always have." The words had surprise shaping her features, hazel eyes flickering between darker brown. "And it wasn't until last month that I realized… what those feelings were. Why I had them. Quinn…" She stepped closer and her scent surrounded the newly rebellious Fabray, overwhelming her and making her dizzy. "Can you kiss me again?"

And without even thinking about it, Q Fabray did not rebel, and instead did as she was asked. Her lips fell against Rachel's in a much softer kiss from before, a low groan vibrating in her throat as she tightened her grip on the brunette's hands. It drew out, Q's heart beating in her chest with something close to emotion again. It deepened and the girl's body thrummed with energy, as if Rachel's body fueled her own. There was so much here, she realized, that she hadn't wanted to find. Those fireworks she'd once lied about having with Finn exploded now behind her eyelids, lit up her world. Rachel pulled away after a minute, both of them breathless and wrapped around one another (when had that happened?). They stared at one another, breaths mingling, eyes locked.

"If we're going to do that again, Quinn," Rachel whispered at last, "Then you're going to have to stop inhaling those things. You kind of taste like an ashtray."

Q fumbled in her pocket until she found the pack, tossed it far away before dragging Rachel against her again, whirling to press her back into the wall. "Deal," she said before she dipped her head and claimed Rachel's mouth again.

Maybe He was still listening to her after all.