*Joanne Rowling owns Harry Potter.
*Thanks for getting to 400 reviews on this story! Stay awesome! :)
*I uploaded the new version of Can't Stop Loving You a couple days ago. It's called Till the End of Time. Personally, I believe it's a lot better and I've become a better writer since uploading it. Check it out and let me know what you think!
*Title of the chapter comes from 'Jezebel' by Iron& Wine. That song reminds me of Belle so hard!
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Scorpius hasn't come out of his room for two days. Dad's tried to get him to talk to us, but he won't. He keeps saying that he hates Dad and I, and I feel as if he's finally gotten to the point where he means it.
"Maybe I should try and talk to him?" Mum suggests thoughtfully. She's even more worried for Scorpius than we are, and that's because she doesn't know everything that's going on.
"No," Dad answers, rubbing his chin. He looks like he hasn't slept. "It won't help anything."
Mum frowns. "I'm surprised he didn't even want to go visit Albus today with the others. Has he said what's bothering him yet?"
Dad doesn't say anything.
"Draco?" Mum questions. Dad still doesn't answer. "I know that things have been hectic lately, given everything that's going on, but Scorpius is still my son."
"That's the thing," I mutter under my breath.
Mum glances in my direction. "Excuse me?" This is the first time Mum's spoken to me in days. She still isn't too happy with me.
Dad gives me a meaningful look. I can tell he doesn't want to say anything but really, he has to. Mum needs to know this.
Dad takes a deep breath. "Astoria passed away a few days ago," he says gravely.
Mum glances between Dad and I. it doesn't seem to register. "Astoria… Greengrass?"
Dad nods stiffly. It was pretty stupid of Mum to ask. "How many people do you know named Astoria, Hermione?"
"I just didn't expect you to say something like that out of nowhere," Mum says defensively.
"It wasn't out of nowhere," I inform Mum. "Her health had been bad for a little while, she was very sick, and well, she didn't make it."
Mum clenches her jaw. For some reason, she seems angry. "The two of you knew about this?" She asks.
"Yes," Dad admits.
Mum slams her book shut and sets it on the end table. "The least you could have done was let Scorpius see Astoria one more time! I don't care how either of you feel about her-"
"It wasn't that," I protest, a bit upset that Mum's automatically blaming Dad and I for something she knows nothing about.
"Then what was it?"
"Astoria wasn't allowed to see us," I say feebly.
"She was a few weeks ago," Mum counters accusingly. "What happened?"
I cast a sideways glance at Dad. He isn't doing anything to defend me. "Well, Astoria and Scorpius weren't getting along well anymore, so I asked Simon-"
"So you asked Simon?" Mum repeats mockingly. "You asked him to keep Astoria away, didn't you?"
Suddenly, I can't find any words. I nod my head in defeat. This only seems to make matters worse.
"Isobelle, Scorpius is your brother! Have you forgotten that? He has every right to be angry with you, you're putting your wishes above his! And Draco, you should be ashamed of yourself for letting her!" Mum argues.
Dad furrows his eyebrows. If there's one thing he can't stand, it's to be blamed for something. "Hermione, I didn't know Astoria was going to die! If this hadn't happened, you wouldn't have thought anything of it!"
Mum shakes her head at Dad as if to say he's dead wrong. "No, Draco, if this hadn't happened, I wouldn't have said anything about it! I've thought this for a while, now. Honestly, the way you and Isobelle use and get rid of people is blatantly disgusting! You have no regard for others!"
What the hell is she talking about? Mum is making herself out to be more innocent than she really is. "What? I don't-"
"Let me finish!" Mum snaps. "Neither of you see people for anything other than how they can benefit you! And once you find out they can't, you get rid of them! You don't understand the concept of having compassion for other people, or doing things simply to help them, and I am so entirely fed up with that!"
Dad clenches his jaw. "Hermione, you aren't making any sense," he says in a rigid voice. I couldn't agree with him more.
"I'm making perfect sense! Draco, you and I talked for months about the dynamic of this family and lately, you've been ignoring everything I ever said to you! We have five children together- Isobelle and Scorpius aren't just yours to allow whatever you please! Since when did we agree on arranging a marriage for Scorpius? To be honest, a girl like Daisy is the last thing Scorpius needs! And Simon for Isobelle? Draco, you only agree with that because of his blood and nothing more!"
I know Mum is yelling at Dad currently, but the way she constantly puts down Simon is much more than I'm willing to handle. She knows how I feel about it, and she continues to do it anyway. How hypocritical.
"I'm sick of you telling me how much you hate Simon! You don't even understand our relationship or what he does for me!" I argue.
"Isobelle, what you fail to understand is that Simon is not a pawn for you to use whenever you want something from the Ministry! I don't care how much you say you love him, that just isn't how things are going to work!"
Well, if that isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard. "Why wouldn't I do that? Simon's my fiancé! That's not using, and I've never behaved that way toward anyone else!"
Mum crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "Isobelle, don't you dare lie like that! What about Teddy? He has never been anything less than kind to you! He's been trying so hard to apologize to you and you just won't hear it!"
"You know what happened with Teddy!" I shout. "You know why I don't speak to him anymore!"
Dad looks between Mum and I, completely confused. He doesn't know that I cheated on Holden with Teddy. I wish Mum would just shut her damn mouth before ad finds out something he really doesn't have to.
"Of course, I know why you don't speak to Teddy. It's because you blame him for what you did to Holden!"
How could Mum say that to me? Teddy was just as guilty as I was, and if anything he was guiltier. He knew how I felt about Holden, and he persisted anyway.
"He was wrong, too! I don't think I should have to speak to Teddy after that! If Teddy really cared about me the way you think he does, then he wouldn't still be after me after I'm engaged! I don't love Teddy! He isn't what I want! He can't-"
"He can't what, Isobelle? Buy you the ridiculous things Simon does? Give you what you want without a second thought? Help your self-esteem? Isobelle, no one can do that but you!"
My fists clench at their sides. That's a sensitive subject for me. "Stop it," I mutter. I don't want to lose it completely.
"You need nothing more than to hear the truth at this point! Both of you!" Mum continues. What makes her so qualified to tell either of us the truth, as if she hasn't got any shortcomings of her own.
Dad raises his hand in a placating gesture. "Hermione, it's me your angry with, not Isobelle. Give it a rest."
Mum shakes her head. Once she's adamant about something, Mum pretty much becomes a brick wall. "Draco, don't tell me how I feel! I'm angry with you both, and you and I are definitely going to discuss this later. If Isobelle wants to be an adult, then she can hear what I have to say."
It's funny when Mum only wants to acknowledge my age when it works to her advantage. I'm not going for that. "I don't want to hear it."
Mum ignores me. "If you're as grown up as you say you are, then you should at least be able to take what I'm saying into consideration. It's time you quit putting everything you wanted above everyone else. I'd have assumed you'd have realized what sort of trouble that-"
"Quit," I say again. I feel myself growing seriously angry with Mum, so angry that it's beginning to scare me.
"Hermione," Dad says calmly.
Mum seems to just be getting started. "Isobelle, you only think of yourself. You don't mind causing problems because it isn't ever you who has to deal with the consequences-"
"That's bullshit and you know it!" I scream, taking a large step toward Mum. "I don't ever have to deal with the consequences? Because of what I did, Scorpius fucking hates me! Because of what I did, Holden left me! I kept Ron being back from Rose, and I know she's still upset about it! It was my fault Scorpius and Rose were even able to write to their parents! All this is my doing, and I sure as hell didn't come out any better for it! Don't tell me about not having to deal with consequences, because that's you!"
Dad grasps my arm, holding me back. "Don't speak to your mother like that," he says flatly. His tone makes it sound like he's beyond given up on me.
How am I in the wrong in this situation? "She's yelling at me! She's blaming everything wrong that happens on me! Apparently, everything is my damned fault! Mum blames me if it rains, and she still blames me if it doesn't!"
Dad doesn't answer. Is he turning against me, too? I thought he was on my side about this, but apparently not. No one's ever on my side about anything.
"Isobelle, there's no need for you to shout-"
I shake my arm out of Dad's grasp. "I understand what's happening! The two of you are plotting against me! You always have been! This is some sort of plan, isn't it? What are you trying to do to me? Tell me!" I demand, glaring at both my parents. They only stare at me blankly, as if I'm the mad one.
Dad glances at the door as if he wants nothing more than to leave.
"I want an answer! If you're going to be against my, you can at least be honest about it!"
Mum's facial expression changes and I know that I've caught her. "No, Isobelle, that's not-"
"What are you trying to do? You're trying to make me feel bad about being with Simon, aren't you? And you want Scorpius to hate me! You just want everything to go badly for me, and you want me to be alone for the rest of my life! You're punishing me!" I scream. I don't understand why my parents are doing this to me. Why do they hate me so much?
"I told you to stop yelling at her," Dad mutters to Mum under his breath, as if I can't hear them. "See what you've done. I don't have the patience for another episode."
Mum sighs and purses her lips. "Isobelle, your father and I aren't turning against you. You simply cannot behave the way that you do, and this counts as one of those situations. Is that clear?"
Mum's calm voice is annoying the hell out of me. Just two minutes ago, she had no reservations whatsoever about yelling at me. "Just leave me alone!" I snap. "I'm going to my room!"
I turn around, and Mum makes a sound of protest.
"Hermione, just let her go," Dad says. I'm sure he's not only trying to avoid an argument, I believe he no longer cares to argue with me.
I go upstairs, completely upset. Why does it seem that nothing's able to go my way? I can't even trust my own parents. Just when I think I'm doing well for myself, something bad always happens to me. I'm beginning to think that's just how things are.
I glance up as I hear footsteps coming in my direction. Mum and Dad are downstairs still, and Scorpius is in his room, isn't he? I suppose not, because I'm looking at him right now.
Scorpius and I lock eyes. His face is expressionless and it looks like he hasn't combed his hair the entire time he's been in his room. "Scorpius," I say, hoping he'll be at least partially willing to speak to me. That doesn't seem to be the case. "I thought you were staying in your room?"
"I'm going outside to think," Scorpius mutters, looking past me instead of at me.
"To think about what?" I ask dumbly. I just want him to talk to me.
"What do you think?" Scorpius retorts harshly, brushing past my shoulder. "Don't talk to me."
"I'm sorry," I apologize, making Scorpius stop in his tracks. "I didn't know. I feel just as terribly as you do."
Scorpius wheels around and his face is red with anger. His grey eyes look more intense than I've ever seen them. "No, you don't! You hated my mum, and that's why you and Dad did what you did! You didn't even think about me!" He growls. "No one ever thinks about me!"
"Scorpius, that isn't true. We didn't want you to become someone like Astoria. Scorpius, I understand that she's your mother, but-"
"But you don't care about her because she isn't your Mum," Scorpius finishes angrily.
That's nowhere near the truth. Even though it didn't last long, there was a small period of time where I did care for Astoria and I was somewhat happy to have a step-mother. Astoria ruined that, not me.
I shake my head at Scorpius. "Things happened in this family that you don't even remember. If you did, maybe you would stop being so hard on me. I thought you finally understood what Astoria was really like," I say, referring to her last visit a couple weeks ago.
Scorpius doesn't seem too happy about me pointing this out. "You still could have told me! No matter what, you and Dad were wrong! I wouldn't care if my mum was a bloody Death Eater! I'd still deserve to know her!"
"No, there are some things that you just shouldn't know for your own good!" I argue.
"That isn't fair! I deserve to know a lot more than you!" Scorpius protests, his eyes boring into mine.
"How so?"
"I act my age!" Scorpius answers. "And I don't do stupid things that cause more stress for this family than we already have! I wish you would grow up. I heard you yelling downstairs like you always do! I wish you would quit going around acting like you're so great, because you're not! You're a sodding basket case!"
Scorpius' words hit me like a ton of bricks. You never truly know how someone feels about you until they're angry with you.
"Scorpius, I never wanted you to feel the way you do about me. You have to believe that I've never tried to do anything to hurt you. You're my little brother. There's no one on this planet more important to me than you," I assure him.
Scorpius brushes off my apology. "Well, you did hurt me. That's all you ever do is hurt everyone. I don't know why people still act so surprised about it."
"I don't do it on purpose! I wish I could take everything back that I've done to make you hate me so much! Scorpius, you were the last person I believed could ever turn against me! Maybe I don't show too often anymore, but I love you a lot!"
"You don't love anyone but yourself," Scorpius corrects me, shaking his head. "I know that now."
He presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek and glances over his shoulder. I think he's checking to make sure we're alone. When Scorpius faces me again, I can see how hurt he truly is. Everything about him looks broken, as if he wants nothing more than to fly into my arms and cling to me the way he used to when he was only five years old. No matter how much he wants to, I know he won't let himself. Things are different now.
"You can't honestly believe that. Scorpius, you can't," My voice is breaking, and I know by now that it sounds as if I'm pleading with Scorpius. I don't want him to turn out the way I did, or the way Dad did, and I see it happening more and more every day. Slowly, Scorpius is losing hope for everyone. He's setting himself up to belief that everyone he allows himself to be close to will end up failing him. If he doesn't stop, he won't ever be able to.
"Yes I can, and I do. You put yourself before everyone- before me. You weren't supposed to give up on me! You weren't supposed to ever leave me!" Scorpius reminds me harshly. I can finally see the tears pooling in his eyes. It's a pain and relief at the same time to see him showing some emotion.
"I know, Scorpius, I know. I should have been there to help you through everything. But I checked out, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't even notice it happening, and if you resent me for not being the sister I could have been, I understand. I just don't want you to," I admit. It would hurt me beyond repair if anything ever happened to ruin my relationship with Scorpius permanently. I couldn't bear it. There is nothing I wouldn't give to make Scorpius happy.
Scorpius' hands are shaking. "I don't want to be mad at you either, but I can't help it. Dad never listens to me anymore, and I know Mum is getting uncomfortable around me, so I thought the only person I could go to was you. But you turned on me, too," he says quietly.
I never knew that Scorpius' problems with Mum and Dad went beyond Astoria. I didn't know that he felt truly detached from them. I should have been there for him to tell me all of that. It was my job as a sister to make sure Scorpius had someone to talk to, and I failed him miserably.
"Everyone turned on me, too," I whisper, starting to cry as well. "Mum, Dad, Holden, you. Scorpius, somehow I think you and I let go of each other."
I don't know if Scorpius is taking my statement too literally, or if he's just overcome with emotion. He lunges forward and wraps his arms around me in a desperate hug. Scorpius buries his face into my robes and lets out horrible, racking sobs. I know he's been holding them in for a while, so I let him cry. Besides, he'll be less concerned with me crying as well.
I run my fingers through Scorpius' light hair. I haven't seen him behave this vulnerably for years. He hasn't been allowed to. Dad has always made Scorpius behave with such an adult exterior; it became easy to forget Scorpius is still just a little boy. Scorpius and I both had to deal with situations that we couldn't have possibly been expected to handle for the age we were. Hopefully, we'll learn greatly from them in the future.
"I love you," I whisper to Scorpius, my voice still shaky. "I promise to start being there for you again, all right? You aren't alone. I don't want us to fight like this again."
Scorpius doesn't say anything. He only nods his head against my shoulder, and I take that as him agreeing with me. I kiss the top of Scorpius' head.
Scorpius' crying subsides and eventually turns into smaller sniffs. "Scorpius, look at me," I say quietly. Scorpius takes his head off my shoulder to look at me with those sad eyes of his. "I want to tell you something, and I want you to remember it."
"What is it?" Scorpius questions, frowning slightly.
"Sometimes, things don't go the way we plan and people hurt us, but that doesn't mean everyone you ever meet is going to hurt you. You have to forgive people, Scorpius. Especially family. If you don't, you're going to find yourself so much more alone than you really have to be," I tell him seriously. I never understood that until now. It took Scorpius for me to realize that some difficult relationships really are worth saving.
"Okay," Scorpius nods. He looks rather ashamed to have been crying in front of me now. "I don't hate you really." It's sad that I can count the number of times Scorpius has said that to me.
"I know you don't."
Scorpius looks at his shoes, and I can tell he's a bit upset about his behavior. I won't hold it against him, because we both have a lot to change.
"You almost left me, do you remember that?" Iask after a long pause.
Scorpius shakes his head. "When did I do that?"
"It was a long time ago. Grandmother and Grandfather asked you to live with them permanently, and you said yes."
I can tell by the look on Scorpius' face that he doesn't remember a word I'm saying. "What stopped me?" he asks.
"You said you would have missed all of us," I tell Scorpius. "Me, Dad, Mum, Rose, and Hugo. Your- Our family."
"I would have," he realizes, thinking about it. I know I haven't exactly been there for Scorpius as much as I could have lately, but I'm still grateful to know he was at least there. Things could have been much different.
I give my younger brother a weak smile. "You made the right choice to stay. You're not getting away from me. You know that, right?"
Scorpius nods, and I think I can see him smiling too. "Yeah, I know. I love you, Belle."
*(A/N: Sorry for the long while it took updating. I tried to show a bit of much-needed evolution of Belle and Scorpius' character, and bring back that strong relationship they had in the first story.
- Sorry for the angsty chapter. I've been in the mood to write some angst lately, considering I'm in a pretty Scorpius-y mood right about now. I've been trying to write an original story –that was the only thing I was looking forward to doing this summer- but things just aren't working. It frustrates me to no end see all these great encouraging comments from you guys, and then when I try something on my own, it feels like I'm not living up to anyone's expectations. It just sucks to feel like you're failing at something you really enjoy and want to take seriously, and don't know why. I don't know, I'm just at a loss, I guess. Nothing seems to be working in my favor at the present. Enough of my horrible rambling…
~Regardless, thank you all for being lovely loyal readers and sticking with this story! Leave a review and have a great day… or night…
