Just sit back and enjoy the show with the cast! :D
When last we left Guy, he'd lost all his hope.
And burnt his briefcase at the end of his rope.
Then a noise, and he grabbed it.
There was something inside! A wild, scary beast! And nowhere to hide! This is it.
I'm done for.
I've lived my last day! Oh, don't be dramatic.
It just wants to play!
"How could you not know that Guy, Mr. Jenkins wouldn't hurt anybody!"
"Okay sure, Mr. Goat's can't climb."
Ugh! Priceless? Over here! Over here! Look! Look! Fetch! Whoa! Someone, please! Someone! Still going to Meepville! Can't hear that guy screaming!
"Did they actually say that?" questioned Michelle absolutely miffed.
Having too much fun here! Whoa! Whoa! Wait! Wait! Hold on! Hold on! Wait! Wait! I am not playing with you! Oh.
Oh! No.
Oh.
Oh! No, no, no, no! Oh! Why are there so many vases?
"That's going onto your record!" said Sam in a sing song voice, "Don't worry I'm sure Mr. Jenkins feels Very sorry, right Mr. Jenkins?"
Mr. Jenkins nodded his head giving Guy a big old sloppy lick. "Aaargh!" scowled Guy trying to flick off all the spit.
Still going to Meepville! Still going to Meepville! All right, buddy.
Take it easy.
I just wanna get you back in your briefcase where you'll Hello? Mr.
Am-I? Ugh.
Oh, no.
Stay! Please, stay! Hello? -I? Is everything all right? Thank you! We're fine! The room is neither on fire nor under water.
"Why would you say it like that?" scowled McWinkle, how were these the guys evading him. At least Sam would act more cunning. He was a smuggler after all he had to have some semblance of brain cells right?
Excellent, sir.
"They fell for it… why am I not surprised?"
We hope you're enjoying your executive suite featuring 17 rare and priceless vases.
Are those, by any chance, insured?
E.B piped up, "How did you even get an executive suite?"
"I use hotel rooms a lot, the rewards added up."
Michelle also had a question of her own, "And why would they have 17 rare and priceless vases?"
McWinkle shrugged, they were just stupid he susposed.
No! They're rare and priceless! Anyhoo, as a Quintuple Stainless Member, you are now entitled to a complimentary lullaby!
So, if you'll just snuzzle yourself into bed and allow me to tuck you in If you don't mind I sleep better standing up.
Of course, sir.
"We should stay there next time we have to book a hotel! So respectful!" cheered Gluntz to McWinkle.
It's our honor to serve you From Salamasond to Gree And many thanks for respecting Our no pets policy!
"Mr. Jenkins is practically part of the family." said E.B scratching Mr. Jenkins under the chin.
Now we bid you good morrow And hope to see you soon And just a quick reminder Checkout's at noon! Thank you so much.
You're wonderfully talented.
Oh No! No! Yes! Almost home, ! Hoo! Ooh! Junk mail! Sweet! Ho! Back flip! Whoa! All right, big fella, welcome to my place.
Michelle turned to look at Sam, "Uhm Sam, is there a reason you have all those posters around your house?"
"Huh what do you mean?" asked Sam, completely dumbfounded.
"It's just a little odd you want people to solicit and loiter." said Michelle.
"Oh. It's just another way to make friends, not that I need them, I have so many already!"
Michelle dropped the conversation after that.
It's just me here until now! Let me show you around.
Here's pretty much everything, but don't get too comfortable, because the two of us are hittin' the road! Sam thought his search for a buddy was about to end, because inside that case would be his new friend.
"I thought you said you had tons of buddies." asked McWinkle. The others stared at him curiously as well.
Sam I Am internally panicked, he didn't know how much longer he could continue doing this, "Erm, yes. Tons and tons of friends but they just don't get me you know! Not like Guy, or Mr. Jenkins!" He gave a little chuckle at the end, he hoped it didn't sound too nervous. Everyone seemed mostly happy with his answer though.
Now, who's ready for the first of many hugs? What the Oh! Huh? Oh! Where's the Chickeraffe?!
"It was for a good reason he was gone though, otherwise I wouldn't have met my best friend!"
"Stop calling me that."
Where is the Chickeraffe? Delay? What delay? No! I told you the animal must be here in Meepville by SnerzDay! Today is Vingsday.
Vingsday, Vongsday, Bangsday, Wingsday, Longsday, SnerzDay! Yes, I know I have a lot of other animals.
I have the most impressive collection of rare and exotic creatures in the entire northeastern quadri-sphere.
"Wait a minute." Gluntz said, "You said, only the northeastern quadri-sphee? That means someone has more than you, ha!"
"Shut your mouth."
Thank you very much! But compared to a Chickeraffe, these guys are all just a bunch of losers!
"Great guy." muttered Michelle disgusted she had to be in the same room as him.
Yes, you are! So, by sunrise on SnerzDay, there's going to be a new head on the wall, either the Chickeraffe's or yours! Can you dig it?
Well, I'm not gonna sugar-coat it. The Bigman sends his love! He said he appreciates our efforts and believes in us forever! Also he asks that I compliment you on your hat specifically.
McWinkle stared at the screen in confusion, it made it sound almost as if him and Gluntz were the villains talking to Snerz.
Gluntz, that was so sugar-coated, I'm gettin' a cavity.
Hey there, big guy.
What can I get you? One Last Job Special to go.
You got it, dear.
Wait! Last Job Special? You mean Yes, I'm retiring from the BADGUY game, Gluntz.
And my one last job is almost over.
What did the guard at the zoo tell us he found outside the Chickeraffe cage? Oh! A kite, a snorkel, and a pole vault pole! It was some of your finest intimidating! Only one place in Glurfsburg sells all those items.
Lem's House of Kites, Snorkels, and Pole Vault Poles.
Oh, poor Lem! Looks like the kite, snorkel, pole vault pole bubble has finally burst.
Hard to believe.
Only one customer this year, and his address is on this receipt.
One last job, Gluntz.
Let's go get our target.
- Destination: eight, three - Eight, three, five Are you writing? 8351 North Bluff Gluff.
- North, not South! - Yes.
And you're sure that's where he lives? The little man who ordered the green eggs and ham?
Oh, yes! Sam! That's right! You guys are Briefcase Buddies!
No! We are not Briefcase Buddies! Ugh!
Our grumpy friend Guy huffed and puffed up the gluff to tell Sam-I-Am that he'd had quite enough.
Sadly, Guy cannot hear me when I tell him, "Beware! Because the BADGUYS, in fact, are already there!" Hmph! Going somewhere? Um, not at all.
I mean, not here at least.
Why do you ask? Why do we ask? I don't know.
Why do you ask? We're looking for something.
Is this your house? This place? No! Why are you at this house if it's not your house? Mmm, technically, I think it's more of a vehicle.
How would you know that if it's not your house? Gotcha question! Woop, woop! You're killin' this, Winks! I'm aware.
"You can see just by looking with your eyes you idiot!" said Snerz with a dramatic eye roll.
Now, if what's in the briefcase is what we think it is, then you're in a lot of trouble.
Briefcase? What briefcase? Oh, oh! This briefcase! Nothing! Nothing's in here! This briefcase is just an unremarkable attache sold in most major stores.
By attache, of course, I mean briefcase.
You certainly seem to be saying briefcase a lot.
Briefcase? I mean, am I? I-I don't think so.
Not anymore than I usually say briefcase, which is very rarely.
Anyway, I'm sorry I can't help you with your case, - but I'm sure it'll be brief.
- A real brief case! Okay, look, this thing isn't even mine.
I took it by mistake.
"Oh why oh why did I get myself looped into this." sighed Guy, although it was half hearted in a way he enjoyed it and in other ways he just wished he could go watch paint dry.
Gluntz, net me.
Just stay still.
This won't hurt at all.
Who are you people? We're the BADGUYS! Yes! I've always wanted to say that! Oh, I'm gonna have so much to journal about tonight! Hey, hop on in! Come on! Let's skedaddle! Go, go! He's got my car.
Oh, my gosh! A fleer! We've got a fleer! Oh, that's right.
This was supposed to be your one last job.
You were ready to pack it up, but oh, boy, that is not happening today! Not yet! Not today! Uh, but, uh Aww.
Sam-I-Am had ruined McWinkle's big day.
He'd worked his last nerve and turned his fur grey.
"Oh dang!" said Sam with a snicker, McWinkle made a very rude gesture towards him.
What? Oh, nothing.
Whoo! Isn't fleeing fun? Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Oh, that was a close call, huh? But you are safe and sound right here in this car with me.
Yup! One 100% secure! What's going on? Who are those maniacs?
Oh, they're the BADGUYS. Thought they made that pretty clear.
Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't open that! Whoa! Oh, you let it out! It? This Chickeraffe has a name, you know. I just haven't decided on one yet.
So far I've been calling him Big Fella. But I'm also considering Chickpea or Guy Jr. Just spitballing. Although, Guy Jr. is the clear front-runner at the moment.
This could not be happening, Sam seemed to be just as much of an idiot as Guy, if he was failing at capturing them then what did that make him?
I don't care.
Would you please stop licking me?
Mr. Jenkins gave Guy a big sloppy lick.
Ugh, great work, Guy. You gave him a furball.
No, no! People will see it! It's fine.
Look at him! He loves it! Oh, Guy Jr. loves hanging his head out the window! Everyone's after this beast! Oh! If anyone sees it, we're gonna be in a whole lot of trouble! Trouble? Relax! I am a licensed Wildlife Rescuer! Those BADGUYS wanna sell the poor fella to a collector, whereas I have his best interests in mind.
McWinkle wanted to tell everyone how wrong that was but he couldn't because it would ruin the surprise or something, this made no sense!
Your mother must be proud.
Sam wondered for a second if when he found his Mom again if she'd be proud of him… probably not… but he could make it up to her!
Now, let me out.
Pssh, come on.
Where're you headed? Meepville.
Get out! I'm headed to the Big Meep, too! That's where I'm taking Guy Jr.
! So, what're you gonna do in the MVL, travel buddy?
I'm headed to Meepville to be a Paint Watcher.
Whoa! Watching paint dry? Fun! Fun, fun.
Fun, fun, fun.
It's not "fun". It's a solid, practical, fall-back profession.
solid! Not giving up on your dream at all.
Just let me out right here!
Hey.
I'm sorry if I wasn't super psyched about your new job, travel bud. You just struck me as the kind of guy who's destined for great things!
Well, I hate to disappoint you, Sam-I-Am, but I'm just not that kind of guy.
Okay, well, - you wanna exchange contact info? - Nope.
Then how about a hug goodbye? For the Chickeraffe.
Huh-uh.
Got it.
Not a hugger. I respect that. Then how about a nice handshake and some firm plans to meet up in Meepville, - just as soon as you get there.
"Can we hug now?"
"No!" replied Guy at the same time as his on screen counterpart.
- No!
"You're right that was a bad idea. I'm so glad we decided to become travel buddies the entire way."
"You guys have such a weird friendship." snickered E.B.
"We aren't friends."
"Ignore him, he's in denial!" said Sam clapping his hands.
Honey, don't jostle.
When the seatbelt feels like it's digging into your skin, that's how you know it's working.
Oh, I can't believe I forgot the safety poofs! Mom, it's smooshing my face.
"We can't get into any car crashes." said Michelle, "And if we do, we'll be protected!"
There.
Can you move? - No! - Great! Huh? Hit it over here! - Yes! - Yay! - Hey, nice shot! - Score! - Oh, gosh! - Whoa! Wicked match, kid!
Sam hopped up, "That looks so much fun! Anyone want to "
"I know right?" said E.B before lowering her voice, "I have an idea."
"I love ideas." said Sam, dropping his voice down to a conspiratorial whisper as well.
"Guy likes my Mom which is… odd on so many levels." said E.B with a shudder, she didn't dislike Guy or anything just the thought of her Mom dating someone seemed so foreign to her, "So if we can get them to like each other again, we can spend all day doing that."
"Yeah!" said Sam pumping his fist up, totally not looking suspicious, "Right after we get out of the pickle with the Goat."
"The who?"
Sam waved his hand toward the screen, "Oh right, you'll see if the story continues with us."
Meepville is gonna be super fun.
I promise.
It's a business trip, Mom.
You're only going to present your beans at the Snerz thing.
Oh, no! It's not just a thing! It's the SnerzDay Gala thing.
Plus, just imagine all the amazing sights there are to see in the big city.
Yeah! That's right! I heard they have a toy store there that's so big, it has a roller coaster inside! - Do you think we can go see that? - You bet we can! There's a great view from the SnerzCo Corporate Conference Room! Fully panoramic, extremely clean windows.
Trust me, you'll be able to see all the coolest things from a safe distance.
Sam gasped, "What's the point of seeing the world's biggest rollercoaster if you can't ride it?!"
"That's the same as looking at it through a picture." pointed out Gluntz.
Michelle paused, she had never really thought of it that way.
Huh? Oh! I'm saved! Hello! Please stop! Please?
Mom, look! Look! I think that guy needs help!
Help! Please! I need so much help! Come on.
Michelle felt like her face was on fire, it shouldn't really have mattered, but
Oh, thank goodness.
I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm stranded out here, and there's no one to help me, and I really need a ride to Meep-
When Guy saw Michellee, his face felt like fire.
Michelle had to hold back a laugh, she knew that feeling way to well…
She'd witnessed him wreck his beloved Self-Flyer.
- Mom, slow down! - Absolutely not! You never pick up hitchhikers on the side of the road, E.B, or anywhere else for that matter.
But Mom, look at him. The poor guy's stranded. I will not look at him because taking my eyes off the road would make a dangerous situation even more dangerous, plus the tenor of his voice clearly indicates that he's a deranged lunatic.
"Yes, a dangerous situation." said E.B sarcastically under her breath.
- I'm not.
- Or a drifter hoping to make us pawns in his treacherous ruse.
Also not.
And have you even considered the possibility that he's a felon?
"He is." said McWinkle.
"Hmph. Maybe to your organization." scowled Michelle, she didn't always agree with Guy, or even like Guy but that didn't mean she would abandon all morals to prove a point.
I'm sorry, but if you're passing on the whole giving me a ride thing, you mind finishing this out of my ear shot? Your judgments are very hurtful.
You're right! That was insensitive of me.
Anyway, good luck with the rest of your travel, ! - Mom, wait! - Buckle up your headbelt, sweetie.
I'm kickin' it into overdrive!
Mom, stop!
"That's overdrive?" asked McWinkle.
"I could walk faster than that!" declared Gluntz.
"We all could walk faster than that." added McWinkle. Michelle just gave them the silent treatment.
Chickeraffe Green eggs Annoying little man Annoying! Guy started to think he'd made the wrong choice.
Huh?! Hey, who said that? What is that voice? I'm your narrator, Guy.
This dude in your brain, and if you can hear me, you're going insane! Green eggs! Green eggs! Green eggs and ham!
"I'm not going to be able to sleep at night." said Gluntz, Mr. Jenkins nodded.
Green eggs! Green eggs! Green eggs and ham! Guy! Guy! Can you hear me, Guy? Hello! Who are you? What's happening? Show yourself! Rain! Oh, it's beautiful! It's refreshing! It's Oh! Ugh!
"That makes two of us, Guy are you sure my mother's original assessment wasn't correct?"
"Yes. I am fairly sure I am not a "lunatic."
It's all eggs! Guy! Hey, Guy! You look frightened, Guy! You look weak! You look Hungry.
Oh, hey there! Guess I must've made a wrong turn and ended up right back where you were. Weird.
"Yeah it was so odd! This really explains why you were acting so weird though, you had giant eggs chasing you around!" giggled Sam I Am.
Good thing I happened to grab some extra food and Bevvies, which I will just leave on the off chance you could use a little pick-me-up on your long, lonely journey to the ville.
Ah! Ick! What is this? - Hot chocolate? - Oh.
That is my bad right there.
See, I ordered a steaming hot chocolate for myself, and a frosty, cold, iced chocolate for you.
Ah! Oh, the hot chocolate feels great! You know, considering how chilly and cool it gets riding around in this heavily air-conditioned car all day.
"Did that Chickeraffe just blow an ice ball?" McWinkle could feel more of his hair turning gray by the minute.
So travel buddies again? Green eggs! Green eggs! Green eggs and ham! Fine, I'll come to Meepville with you.
Meep City! As long as that beast of yours promises to leave me alone! Absolutely! Do not worry.
Mr. Jenkins made a sad noise. "I take that back, you are a really good bird. Meanwhile that would be the beast." said Guy pointed an accusatory finger towards a befuddled Sam.
"What? What did I do?"
I'm an expert when it comes to dealing with wild Chickeraffes.
Ugh! Every time! Mmm.
Mmm.
Ew.
Mmm.
Hey, man! You gotta get in on this! I got enough for both of us! No! I will not eat them in a car.
Okay. That is an oddly specific stance to take on the matter.
"Yeah Guy, why so specific? Would you eat them here?" asked Sam somehow bending the laws of the universe and somehow having Green Eggs and Ham on him.
"No." grumbled Guy shoving him off the couch.
"What about on a train? You never said anything about a train." suggested Gluntz.
McWinkle added, "Or what about with a mouse?"
Guy just stared at everyone, when had this become an interrogation?
"In the rain?"
"Inside a house?"
"No way. Not going to happen. Nope. Nada."
Michelle pitched in next, "What about in a tree? Or a box? Or with a fox?"
"Th-That is so random!"
"Well so is you saying that you would specifically not eat Green Eggs and Ham in a car." retorted Michelle.
"That… That was just in response to the situation!"
"Ah." sighed Sam, "First lovers quarrel."
They glanced at each other and turned bright red. At the same time they said, "What? We aren't in love!"
"Mmm, sure." laughed Sam.
But I'm just gonna keep this edible joy right here for when you change your mind.
I've got a better plan.
Ah, good thinking, trav buddy.
You take a load off and get some shut-eye.
You are safe and sound with old Sam behind the wheel.
"Here's your first lesson." Guy said gravely serious, "Never. Ever. Fall asleep with Sam behind the wheel."
"Huh? Why?"
"I have no idea how he has a drivers license. Sam, how did you get your driver's license?"
"Uh, like everyone else?"
Hey, Guy! Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Morning, lazybones! Hope you slept well! Hey, do me a favor real quick and barrel roll out of the car when you get a chance, would ya? - Just tuck your legs and - Sam! What are you doing out there? Oh, out here? Well, we had to make a jump for it before the car hit that giant lake straight ahead.
"And you never felt the need to wake me up!"
Sam shrunk back, in reality he had been conflicted on whether or not to give Guy the warning, the mission would have gone more smoothly most likely, in the end he did and he was really glad he did. He was surprised Guy stuck around this long.
What lake? Oh, sorry.
It's just below the cliff.
Cliff?
Thank you for reading! If you have any reactions you want added just message or leave a comment and I'll add it in!