Brat

13-year-old Yappy Obi is at it again as he deals with the aftermath of his interaction with another apprentice.

Posted - February 2021

Obi: Master, I think I deserve an apology.

Qui: For what?

Obi: Have you met Padawan Nattis?

Qui: I have not. I don't make a habit of meeting random padawans. That's your job as a padawan, Padawan.

Obi: Ah, what?

Qui: Think about it.

Obi: Okay, so, you have not met her. You should. She's a brat.

Qui: You want me to meet a bratty apprentice. Why?

Obi: So you can appreciate me.

Qui: But you are a brat.

Obi: True, but not all the time. And I'm not lazy and I know how to get out of bed on time and make myself a meal and to not talk back to my master... okay, well maybe forget that last one.

Qui: You are punctual and you can fend for yourself.

Obi: Are you proud of me for that?

Qui: No.

Obi: Why?

Qui: Those are basic human and even non human tasks. If you could not do those things, well, then I'd just drop you off to live with the Hutts.

Obi: Those giant brown slug creatures? I thought they were dangerous gangsters.

Qui: They are.

Obi: Oh, okay. Um, No need to go there. You don't have to be proud of me for getting out of bed on time. I'm good.

Qui: And the point to this conversation?

Obi: That I am better than Padawan Nattis?

Qui: And the reason you dragged me onto this conversation?

Obi: You're the only one in the room?

Qui: Obi-Wan, what do you want? And if you say hug, I will be dropping you off to the Hutts.

Obi: She's a brat, Master. And she's mean. When she talks, it's all about her. Look at me! Listen to me! I think... oh wait. Forget that last part too. Moral of the story, I can function as an adult. She cannot.

Qui: Adult is a strong word, Obi-Wan.

Obi: I can function as a human?

Qui: Well...

Obi: Fine. I can function as a thirteen year old.

Qui: Debatable, but all right. Why are you concerned about her?

Obi: She irks me.

Qui: Why?

Obi: She does all these things and her master lets her get away with it. Her master enables her.

Qui: How do you know this?

Obi: I've seen it.

Qui: Are you spending your time harassing a master and her apprentice?

Obi: Harassing is a strong word, Master.

Qui: Are you stalking them?

Obi: Define stalking.

Qui: Obi-Wan. Hutts. Soon.

Obi: Fine, okay. Jeez, what is your weird obsession with the giant slug people anyway? I was not harassing or stalking. I was simply observing.

Qui: I've seen you observe. It's involved and loud. Did Padawan Nattis see you?

Obi: She did and I told her to stop being a whiny impudent child.

Qui: How did that go?

Obi: She punched me in the face and stormed off go tell her Master D'att.

Qui: That explains the black and blue coloring starting to show on your face. So, she told her master what you did?

Obi: I'd didn't do anything.

Qui: You engaged in name calling simply because she irks you.

Obi: So, yes, I did do that. But padawans annoy each other all the time. It's who we are. What we do. That doesn't excuse her for being a spoiled brat.

Qui: A spoiled brat now. Interesting. Do you not have enough studies? Have I gotten soft with my off-mission lessons for you? Did you need me to embarrass you in a sparring session again?

Obi: Um, yes, no and no. I think. I have enough studies. You have not gotten soft. And I feel no need for you to kick my butt in sparring.

Qui: Yet you have time to engage in this nonsense and to get punched in the face.

Obi: It hurt.

Qui: Why did you not dodge her punch? Have you forgotten all your basic Force lessons?

Obi: I wasn't expecting it. Although she did growl at me before she did it. Probably that was a warning.

Qui: You think so?

Obi: Master, I do believe I've made an error in judgement.

Qui: She is no longer a brat?

Obi: No, no, she is that. And she is still enabled. But she can hit like a baby rancor. Also, she's not pleasant to be around. She brings me down and I don't have time for that. I'm a happy kid. So, maybe I'll just let her her grumpy and spoiled in peace.

Qui: Wise decision.

Obi: You think so? Can I get a...

Qui: No hug.

Obi: Damn.

Qui: Just walk away. If she is indeed as you say, at some point there will be a wake up call and it will be not be a pleasant one. Are we good? Did you need to see a healer about your eye?

Obi: No, I'll just suck it up and deal with it.

Qui: Good.

Obi: I'll be the mature one.

Qui: Finally.

Obi: Master, are you sure I shouldn't get a hug for that?

Qui: I'm sure.

Obi: Okay, but maybe one day.

Qui: Yes, I encourage you to dream.

Obi: Okay.

Qui: Are we finished now?

Obi: Sure?

Qui: Good, we have a mission to ready for.

Obi: I'm ready.

Qui: We're being paired with another Jedi team for the mission.

Obi: Oh, I like that.

Qui: We are being paired with Master D'att and Padawan Nattis.

Obi: Master, that's not funny.

Qui: I am not being funny. I am being serious.

Obi: Of all times, you pick now to be serious?

Qui: I am always serious.

Obi: Right, thinking about myself. Okay then. Well, I should probably um... ah... hmmm.

Qui: You should probably learn to either keep your mouth shut or defend yourself from the fast punching padawan.

Obi: What if she whines and pouts on the mission?

Qui: Be the better person, Obi-Wan.

Obi: That's hard for me. However, if you hugged me...

Qui: You get through this mission without being punched in the face again, and we'll discuss the possibility of a hug.

Obi: Without being... I can do that. Deal! You'll be sorry, Master. And you'll be hugging me.

—- (one day later) —-

Obi: Master, does my right eye match my left now?

Qui: It does. You are very color coordinated.

Obi: Didn't hurt as badly this time. I dodged her first swat. She nailed me with the follow through. I should probably brush up on my hand to hand combat training.

Qui: You probably should.

Obi: I guess the Force isn't good for everything.

Qui: Sometimes it pays to be quicker than your opponent, Force or no Force. Other times, it pays to just ignore the so-called brats and allow them to fester in their own issues.

Obi: When did you get so wise, Master?

Qui: Do you ever listen to a single word that I say?

Obi: I do. But you say a lot of words and it's hard to know which ones I should retain and which are just you trying to pawn me off on someone else.

Qui: You say far more words than I do.

Obi: I do not.

Qui: You do.

Obi: I do not.

Qui: You do.

Obi: I do not.

Qui: You do. Stop it!

Obi: You see? It's easy it is to get dragged down into pettiness. Now you know how I got punched in the face twice by that bratty padawan.

Qui: She's not the first person to want to punch you in the face. She's just the first one to not ask my permission first.

Obi: I'm that popular?

Qui: Unfortunately.

Obi: Master, should I change my ways?

Qui: That would be advisable. If you want to live until your desert life begins, of course.

Obi: You know about that?

Qui: You've mentioned it a time or two... or forty-seven.

Obi: Oh. You're okay with it then? The jerk kid you adopt, the tattooed guy slicing you up, the jerk kid going nuts and killing everyone, me going to a desert to hang out with a bunch of Jawas, and you as a blue ghostie until the jerk kid finally puts me out my misery?

Qui: Sounds reasonable. Be glad the bratty padawan isn't there.

Obi: Ah, now there is something. Thanks, Master. That makes me feel better.

Qui: Good. Go find dinner for us so we can rest up for day two of the mission. And if you go near Padawan Nattis, well... don't go near her. Or, if you do, duck. One of those two options should work. You can't control her attitude, you can only control yours.

Obi: So, be my usual self and don't worry about her.

Qui: Yes. But again, be prepared to duck if you are your normal self and you end up in her vicinity.

Obi: Just to be safe. Got it. You're always looking after me, Master.

Qui: Yes, that's what I'm doing. It certainly is. Absolutely.

Obi: You're trying to convince yourself, aren't you?

Qui: I am. Failing at it too. Please go away now.

Obi: Dinner?

Qui: Dinner.

Obi: I'll be back!

Qui: I will enjoy my time while you are gone.

Obi: Hey!

END