Chapter 19: Farming with Farmer Fred
Half an hour later, after receiving my quest scroll from Farmer Fred, I came back with all of my money put in the bank (making a total of 155gp in the bank) and a trowel, a pitchfork, a watering can full of water, a seed dibber, a rake, and a spade in my hand. Farmer Fred had prepared a small amount of grass in the corner of his back garden for me.
"Now, let me tell you about farming," Farmer Fred said. "Farming is when you grow your own food and crops for whatever you need them for. Like, for example, you could grow a field of cabbage to eat, or to sell. But, you need several tools to farm.
"First, you will need compost. Just put lots of food scraps and earth and weeds in a compost bin, wait an hour for the vegetation to rot and you have compost. You need compost to keep the plants healthy. Also, you need water to help your crops grow. That is why I collect water. I pour the rainwater in the watering can, or if it is the sunny season when it doesn't rain, I fill it with tap water." He gestured towards the rainwater barrel, which was full, probably from the storm yesterday.
"You know, it is the middle of July at the moment, but the other day we got one of the worst thunderstorms there has ever been. And the weather isn't looking too good now," Farmer Fred said, pointing up at the grey dismal clouds in the sky. "The newspaper is going to have a field day today. Three-headed dragon appearing, white dragon killing three-headed one, a rock golem nearly destroying Lumbridge, the master thief spotted near shop, and if a storm comes, there is going to be another pile of news. Well anyway, back to farming," Farmer Fred said briskly.
"First, you need to upturn the weeds, put them in the compost bin, and use your tools to put the soil away in a pile. Then, you need to get a seed. I went to Draynor market to buy some potato seeds. You can buy seeds, but you can also get seeds by planting a plant, then taking the seed from the fully-grown plant." He got a small brown sack from his pocket. He opened the sack, and gave it to me. I looked inside. There were a handful of brownish seeds inside. Farmer Fred gestured towards the grass.
"Use the rake with the grass and weeds, and uproot them. When you have done that, put them in the compost bin," Farmer Fred ordered, pointing to a small wooden bin. I got my rake, and scraped it against the grass, leaving some weeds and grass remaining. Dirt splattered my leather boots. I scraped up the rest of the weeds and grass, leaving a clean patch of soil. I plonked the weeds and grass in the compost bin.
Farmer Fred handed me a bucket of disgusting, smelly brown earth-like stuff. "That is compost," he said simply. I grimaced. I hated it, it was smelly and I didn't understand how it was meant to help the plants grow. "You are supposed to spread that on the clean earth, to decrease the chance of disease. This is why you need the trowel." I couldn't help laugh. It was supposed to protect the plants from DISEASE? It was more likely to spread disease!!! I got the trowel, and put some compost on it. I knelt down, and spread the compost over the soil.
"No, no, not like that!!! Like this!!!" Farmer Fred snapped, snatching the trowel and the compost off me. He upturned the compost all over the soil, and then used the trowel to spread it. I nodded.
"Now, the soil is weeded and treated with compost, now it is time to plant the seeds," Farmer Fred smiled. He handed me the sack of potato seeds. I picked up my seed dibber, and put a potato seed in the seed slot. I put the end of the dibber in the soil, and pulled the handle. The seed was shot through the end and into the soil. The top of the seed was just barely visible. I went to plant another one next to the first one, when Farmer Fred said, "No, you only need three to plant a whole field!! So, one will do for that small patch of grass!!"
"Right, now it is time to water your crops. Get your watering can," said Fred. I picked up my watering can, and went to the rainwater barrel. I plunked the can in, and pulled it back out when it was full. I shuffled to the crops, and sprinkled water on them. I sprinkled, and suddenly a drop of water fell from the sky onto my head. I stopped watering, and looked up. IT had started raining.
"Quick, get inside!!!" Farmer Fred yelled. Then suddenly, the clouds split, and it began pouring. I heard a crack of thunder go through the sky. I ran inside.
"I guess you don't need to water your potatoes now," Fred said shakily. I nodded. "Well, now let's learn about storing your tools for future use. Tool leprechaun, come here!!!" Fred ordered. There was a small puff of green smoke, and a man had appeared by Farmer Fred.
This man was very small. He had wrinkly skin, and a short orange beard. He wore green overalls, and was holding what looked like a small wooden box.
"Aye, 'tis a fine day, to be sure," said the leprechaun in a strange accent. Farmer Fred rolled his eyes me behind the leprechaun's back.
"Could you store Mainiac97's tools for me, mate?" Farmer Fred asked him. He spotted me and my armfuls of tools. He jumped with glee.
"That's what I'm here for!" he said. He was about to take my tools and my empty bucket off me, when Farmer Fred stopped him.
"Have this first," he told me firmly. He handed me ten buckets of compost, and a larger brown sack. With a look inside, I saw it was full of different seeds. The leprechaun snatched my tools off me, and put them in his wooden box.
"Just ask me if ye be wantin' yer tools," the leprechaun said, before disappearing with a puff of green smoke.
"They are called tool leprechauns," Farmer Fred told me. "They live to store people's tools. It saves a lot of people inventory and bank space. But, they can't store seeds, so that you'll have to keep. Now, let me tell you something while your plants are growing."
"You are welcome to use my farm anytime you want. If you need eggs, you only have to help yourself. If you need milk, you only need to get a bucket and milk my dairy cow. If you need tools, I'm sure I can let you borrow mine. But, if you need to buy new ones, I can sell you some, but at a price. If you need seeds, or compost, or plant cure (to cure diseased plants) I can sell you some. If you want to grow something, but haven't got the time to look after them, I will look after them for you. If you need a place to stay, then I can pull out the spare beds for you and your friends. If you need dinner, I can cook you some of my wonderful home-made onion soup."
"Would you really? Oh thank you Mister!!" I gasped.
"Fred is my name, I don't accept mister," he said gruffly.
"What kind of things can you do with onions?" I asked.
"Well, there are lots of things," Fred said. "Well, firstly you can cook with them. You can cook garden pie with them, for a start. And you can cook onion soup. To make the soup, you will need four onions, one potato, one cooked chicken, a bowl of water, and a cabbage. You need a cooking level of 30 before you can cook onion soup. And I think you can cook a complicated dish called pasta with it. I'm not sure how to cook pasta, though. I think you need a cooking level of 85 before attempting it.
"Another thing you can use onions for are potions. That is the reason I grow onions. That crate of money was given to me by a rich mage who wanted my entire onion field. It's easy to grow again, really. I sell the onions at a low price to magicians, who are grateful in return. If you ever need onions, come to me. I'll let you have them for free. Help yourself to onions when you need them. Aggie the witch in Draynor village uses onions to make dye."
"Well, it is getting 5:00pm and onwards. You might want to consider staying for dinner. Have you got any friends that would like to stay here too?" he asked kindly.
"Yes, I have a friend called Osrie1, but he said he wanted to go mining," I said. I chuckled silently at the thought of him in Lumbridge mines, running for cover.
"Well, it is his fault he didn't stick with you, I guess you can go looking for him afterwards," said Fred. We heard a crack of thunder, and then we heard thumping from out front.
"Excuse me," Fred whispered, going towards the front door. He opened the door, and closed it behind him. But then I heard a new voice. It was cold, heartless, and evil. It made my heart feel like ice, and it felt like a chill was creeping up my body. It was a voice of pure evil.
"Flee from me, Farmer Fred!!!" the voice cried out.
"Help me!!" The voice of Farmer Fred came. I heard screaming, high cold laughter, and muffled thumps. I ran outside, but all I saw were a pack of chickens and the cow. It was raining down hard, but I didn't care, farmer Fred was lying on the floor, several deep gashes in his chest.
"That chicken……attacked me," he croaked, pointing towards a large, fat chicken. Its feathers looked ruffled, and it looked bigger then the other chickens. It looked me curiously.
"Are you okay Fred? It's just a fat chicken," I said, uncertain of what to believe. The chicken had an aura of menace around it, but it was probably an affect of the weather.
"Then explain who was talking in t-that voice," Fred said.
"I don't know, don't I?" I retorted. "Now, let's get you inside." I grabbed his hand, and helped him up. I opened the door for him, and he stumbled inside. I turned to look at the strange chicken, but it was gone. Curious, I followed Fred inside, wondering what had attacked him.