Chapter 28: Dark Thoughts
Nimbrethil furiously walked through the crowded streets, heading for The Flagon, all the while contemplating the events that had transpired. Lord Nasher didn't think her behavior was befitting a squire eh? Well too bad for him, she was who she was and she wouldn't change just because someone had slapped a title on her. The one bright spot of the whole day was that now she wouldn't have to go hunting Lorne, he had come to her. Unfortunately, being confined to a limited area such as the tourney grounds was a big negative for her. She didn't have the strength to go toe to toe with Lorne and she knew using her bow would be chancy at best. Lorne was fast and agile and the only thing that had saved her in the past had been the fact that he couldn't climb to the top of the trees because of his weight. She would have to think of something that would give her an advantage, but at the moment she was too pissed off to think clearly.
When she reached the Flagon she headed straight for her room to get out of the dress. Considering what had happened, she would have been better off wearing her armor after all. Slamming the door behind her she started trying to remove the dress, but the buttons down the back seemed to defy her deft fingers. With an angry hiss, she yanked on the back of the dress and heard the buttons pop and fall to the floor and finally she was able to take it off. Tossing the dress into a corner she hastily donned her armor and felt instantly better. This was who she was she thought as she looked in the mirror. She was a ranger, a creature of the woods, not some court toady. She had cunning and stealth, she had keen senses and quick reflexes. Lorne was a bully who had always used his size and strength to intimidate others. Rarely did such people bother learning other ways to fight and that might just give her the edge she needed, if she could think of a way to take advantage that is.
Realizing that she was hungry she headed out to the common room to get a bite to eat. As she entered and headed toward her usual table, she saw her companions fall silent and eye her warily. Sitting down she signaled Sal to bring her an ale and tilted her chair back to lean against the wall. As her ale arrived Shandra came over and sat down, looking at her with great concern.
"Nimbrethil, I know that you want to see Lorne pay for what he's done and so do I, but I don't think you should be the one to fight him," she said quietly.
"Why do you think that Shandra?" Nimbrethil asked just as quietly. "Because Lorne is almost three times my size? Because he hates me as much as I hate him? Because you think there's no way I'd survive against him?" With each question her voice rose in volume and increased in viciousness.
"All those reasons," Shandra answered in exasperation. "Lord Nasher said you could name a champion and I think you should. No one will think less of you if you did."
"No, I would think less of myself if I allowed another to fight in my stead," Nimbrethil retorted. "I will not hide behind others like Torio and Garius. I don't know exactly how I will win, but I'll think of something."
Seeing the determined look on the girl's face Shandra sighed and said no more for it would be pointless at this time. Maybe after a night of solitary contemplation she would be more amenable to the idea. Getting up she walked over to Sand's table and sat down across from him. Casavir and Duncan both came over and looked at her questioningly.
"She's determined to fight Lorne herself," Shandra said and saw a look of horror cross Duncan's face.
"She can't mean that, she just can't," Duncan hissed. "Lorne will tear her to pieces, she's no match for him. We must get her to see reason," he finished and started to turn away.
"Don't Duncan, not right now," Shandra put a hand out to stop him. "She's angry and you know as well as I do that when she's like this nothing we say will convince her otherwise. So sit down and leave her be." She watched as he struggled with the impulse to go and talk sense into the girl and then reluctantly sit and stare at the table top. "She will be spending the night alone and maybe when she's had time to calm down she'll be more reasonable." This last comment produced a snort from Sand.
"Do you realize what you just said woman?" the wizard asked. "Nimbrethil be more reasonable? I did not realize you were a comedian in your spare time," he snorted.
"You didn't think you'd ever see her in a dress, but I managed to get her to wear one, so anything is possible," Shandra retorted.
"So what do you plan to bribe her with this time my dear?" Sand asked sarcastically.
"Sand is correct Shandra," Casavir spoke up. "I do not think the same tactic will work a second time. She is allowed visitors after the first part of the ritual, and I intend to go to her and offer to champion her, even though I know she will refuse. We all know how she feels about others trying to protect her. She may have learned much since she left West Harbor, but I think this part of her will never change. She will always want to fight her own battles even though she knows that she might lose."
"That is the stupidity of youth Casavir and we must convince her of this," Duncan scoffed.
"Some might consider it stupidity," Casavir nodded. "Others would call it courage. In her case I think it is more personal than that. We all saw the mutual hatred she and Lorne shared, and I hope that she's not choosing to fight Lorne out of revenge. However, Shandra is correct that perhaps she will be reasonable after she has had time alone to think. She is stubborn but not stupid."
"I hope you are right," Duncan said after a while. "Losing her now would be like losing Esmerelle all over again. I couldn't live with that," he whispered and then got up and hurried off to the kitchen to find something to occupy himself with. The others stared at him not knowing what to say or do to make it easier for him.
Nimbrethil watched her uncle head towards the kitchen and looked back towards the table he had been at. Sand should know how exceptional her hearing was for he was an elf, but apparently it hadn't occured to him that she might overhear them. So they thought that she was being stupid or seeking to fight Lorne for revenge did they? Well maybe the revenge part was true, but the real reason was more complicated than that. She had never told anyone, not even Daeghun, how many times Lorne had sought her out. She had never told anyone about the nightmares she had had about the man. This was her chance to put those demons to rest and to get revenge for all those who had been victimized by Lorne, including the helpless creatures like Thorondor. It was not courage that made her want to do this. In fact she was terrified of facing Lorne, but she would never let anyone see that. However, if she chose a champion and her champion failed she'd end up dead as well. She couldn't allow that to happen, ever, so she had no choice but to fight him. She would just have to figure something out. Looking down at her half finished meal, she realized she had lost her appetite and decided to grab her weapons and head on over to the Temple of Tyr. As she headed to her room she looked over and saw Bishop watching her from his usual place in the shadowy corner. There was a strange expression on his face and she couldn't be sure what it was she saw there. If she didn't know better, she would say it was understanding or maybe sympathy, but as both seemed to be out of character for the man, she figured it was a trick of the light. Dismissing the notion, she decided to ignore him and concentrate on coming up with a strategy for fighting Lorne.
In her room she grabbed her swords and bow, and tucked her daggers into her boots. She also picked up her maintenance kit for her bow and her sharpening stone. She would ready her weapons while at the Temple. Working on her equipment was very calming for her and would also boost her confidence, knowing that everything was in top condition. She glanced at the place where the dress had landed and felt a momentary twinge of regret for ripping it like she had. Then again, she wouldn't ever have a need to wear something like that again so she supposed it didn't matter. Walking over to the dress she picked it up and ran her hands over the fine material. She had to be honest with herself and admit that she had like the way the others had reacted to seeing her in the dress. What would life have been like for her if her mother or Shayla hadn't died? Would things have been all that much different than they were now? Sighing she bent down to look for the buttons that had popped off the dress and once she had gathered them all, she laid them and the dress on the bed and stood looking at it. There was no sense thinking about what could not be changed. Her life was what it was and all she could do was move forward with it. Hopefully, she would win tomorrow and then maybe she would be able to escape from all this and go back to living her life the way she wanted to, instead of the way others thought she should.
Deciding to avoid the others, she slipped out the window and headed for the temple. As she walked she barely noticed the noise and the smells that so often bothered her, for her mind was occupied with thoughts of what would happen if she died tomorrow. Would Duncan truly be unable to live with her loss, or was that just his usual, overly dramatic reaction to things? What would happen to Daeghun if she died? He might retreat even more from those around him and become like the wild elves he had been raised by. She also wondered what effect it would have on the others who hung around. Would they care at all or would they be off about their own business like the past few months had never happened? Then her thoughts turned to Thorondor and she wondered what would happen to her closest friend if she didn't survive. The falcon and her shared a bond that allowed them to feel what the other felt and hear what the other thought. It was likely that if she died he would die too and that thought alone made her lift her head and walk more purposefully. If for no other reason, she had to survive tomorrow for Thorondor's sake. Even if no one else needed her or cared, he did and she would not let him down. She would fight Lorne and defeat him, for herself, for Thorondor and for all those whom Lorne had vicitimized, no one else mattered. Not Nasher and certainly not Neverwinter. Nasher and this city didn't need her or truly want her. Thorondor did and she would fight for him.