Chapter 30: Venting of Anger
Casavir paused in the doorway to watch the elven girl pacing, noting that she seemed to be so deep in thought that she was unaware he was there. Of course, it was possible she knew it was him and was choosing to ignore him. However, he didn't think so and that was mainly to do with the tension he noted in her posture. Only a fool would not be nervous about the battle to take place in a couple of hours and she was no fool. He had decided to come right before the battle in the hopes that she would be at her most reasonable. In the months he had accompanied her, he had come to know her strengths and weaknesses and the setting for the Trial by Combat was definately against her. Her bow would be nearly useless and her physical strength was not enough to match swords with the giant Lorne. Hopefully she would realize that by now and would allow him to champion her. He took another step forward and was about to speak when she stopped her pacing and her head whipped around. For a brief moment he saw a look almost of panic in her eyes and then the cool mask she normally wore slipped into place.
"I can't say that I'm surprised to see you here Casavir," Nimbrethil said, her tone one of annoyance which puzzled him until he heard her next words. "I am surprised that I didn't hear you approach before now."
"You were very deep in thought my lady," Casavir responded and saw her frown turn to a scowl and quickly corrected himself, "Nimbrethil." He had forgotten for a moment that she hated being addressed like a court noble.
"I know why you have come Casavir and the answer is no," she stated flatly and waited for him to present his arguments.
"Nimbrethil, I have travelled with you for some time now and I speak to you as a friend," he began as he walked forward to stand in front of her. "Neither I nor any of your companions would ever question your courage or your honor, for we have all seen how well you fight. But surely you must realize by now that this fight and the setting for it is heavily in Lorne's favor. You are allowed to choose a champion, just as Torio has, and I am curious why you refuse to do so when it is the wisest course of action. I assure you that if you allow me to champion you I will see that justice is done."
"Casavir this is not a noble duel, it is a fight to the death and Lorne will not abide by the rules of fair play or gentlemanly conduct," she countered. "I know that he will use whatever means are necessary, including stabbing someone in the back in order to win. Would you do the same? Could you ignore the knightly code you swore to as a paladin and not show mercy or compassion to your enemy? If you fought him and managed to bring him to his knees would you be able to kill him then and there when he is at his most vulnerable?" She waited for him to answer and saw him hesitating, almost as if he wanted to answer yes but was struggling to do so. "I know that as a paladin you wouldn't lie."
"I honestly cannot say if I would or not," Casavir answered and saw her nod. "You swore a similar oath Nimbrethil, remember?"
"You know as well as I do that it was merely done to keep me out of Luskan hands and set the stage for the trial," Nimbrethil's eyes narrowed. "You didn't really think I meant to uphold the knightly code did you?" She saw him shift uncomfortably at her words. "I assure you that I will do whatever is necessary to win and honor be damned. I tried to do things the fair way and look where it got me? If I had known that Torio could call for a Trial of Combat then I would have skipped the whole trial. Proving my innocence at trial was Nasher's idea, not mine, and you, Sand, Shandra and the others all played along."
"The trial proved to the citizens of Neverwinter that you were innocent, an important point you choose to ignore," Casavir felt irritation rising in him and tried to push it back.
"I hold no allegiance to this city or its citizens and quite frankly I don't care one bit what they think," Nimbrethil snapped. "I joined the watch because it was the only respectable way to gain access to Blacklake. The only reason I came to this city at all was because my father sent me here. If I had had a choice I would never have set foot here in the first place." She started pacing again as all the resentment she had been feeling since she arrived started coming to the surface. "I don't belong here! I belong out there, in the forest. That is my home, not this city with its dead stone and wood. I am sure that most people in Neverwinter, including Nasher, could care less whether I live or die so long as it keeps Luskan from attacking them again!"
Casavir waited silently, knowing that to interrupt her would cause her to bottle up these feelings again. He had expected an outburst like this to come, but not this soon. He knew, despite her hopes to the contrary, that Lord Nasher would not release her from her oath until she had served whatever purpose he had in mind for her. The whole business with the shards and the deaths of the noblemen pointed to a larger threat. Until that threat was identified and dealt with she would not be free to do as she pleased. She needed to get these feelings out in the open so that they could be dealt with and, as the saying went, there was no time like the present.
"Even if you had known ahead of time about the Trial by Combat and decided to skip the trial, the result would have been the same," he stated. "You would still have ended up here preparing to fight Lorne. And while you might not set store by the oath you swore, Lord Nasher does and he will hold you to it should you prevail. That being the case, proving your innocence to the people is of great value to you whether you realize it or not."
"What benenfit would that be," she snorted. "Please, enlighten me."
"The shards and Garius' involvement in your current troubles point to an as yet unknown threat to you and Neverwinter," he told her. "As a squire and having proved your innocence you will have access to resources that otherwise would be unavailable, such as the favor of Lord Nasher. With it you would have the freedom to pursue the mystery of the shards in your own way and in relative safety. Without it, you would be left to your own limited resources and your own devices. It is foolish to reject help in such a matter, no matter what form that help takes, and you are not a fool."
Nimbrethil stared at him, not sure she believed him or not. As she stared at him she realized that yelling like she had seemed to ease some of the tension in her. Without being aware of it, the tension of the past couple of months had begun to wear on her and now she felt as if she had been relieved of an unseen, but heavy, burden. Still, whether what he said was true or not, it didn't change the fact that she had a difficult fight ahead of her and she knew she needed to settle down and get her emotions in hand. It was pointless to continue arguing with him for his beliefs had been ingrained over a lifetime and he couldn't change them any more than she could hers.
"I can't concern myself with what may or may not happen on the morrow," she stated more calmly. "I have to focus on the coming battle and time is running out."
"Maybe you are right and the people of Nevewinter won't care if you live or die," Casavir told her just as calmly. "However, I do and so do the others. We are your friends and we want to help you. Why are you refusing to do the smart thing and name a champion?"
Nimbrethil sighed and turned away, gathering her thoughts and trying to find a reason that would satisfy him and yet not reveal more than she wanted to. "Lorne made my life and the lives of others miserable. He deserves to die for what he did in Ember and for all the other innocent lives he either ruined or tried to ruin. I have no problem carrying out that sentence. I have not allowed others to fight my battles in many decades, and I don't intend to change now. If I named a champion and that champion failed I would die anyway so I will face him myself. I will live or die by my own skills and wits, no one else's."
Casavir had known that this would be her answer and, short of knocking her unconscious so she couldn't fight, he would have to abide by it. So he decided to just give her advice and tell her what he knew of knightly combat. Whether she heeded his words or not he couldn't tell, for she had managed to make her face into the emotionless mask he was used to seeing on her. He was about to give her further advice when they were interruppted.
"It is time," Sir Nevalle walked into the room followed by Sir Grayson. "Torio and Lorne await you on the field." He was only mildly surprised to see Casavir here and merely nodded at the man and addressed Nimbrethil further. "Lord Nasher wished me to convey the importance of the coming battle, both for you and for Neverwinter." He saw her eyes narrow and gritted his teeth. She was the most stubborn, ill-mannered squire it had ever been his misfortune to know, but he had to obey his lord's commands. "Fight Lorne and defeat him and you will keep Neverwinter from sharing Ember's fate. Lord Nasher has promised you your own lands and a noble title if...,"
"He can keep his lands and his titles," Nimbrethil interrupted. "I fight Lorne for myself, my friends and the helpless creatures of this realm. I don't want or need any reward. Now, if you don't mind, let's get this show on the road."
Nevalle saw Sir Grayson was about to say something and held up a hand to forestall him. He knew that the elf hadn't wanted to become a squire and anything the knight said would only incense her. However, he had seen that while she may scorn such things, she unconsciously followed the knight's code, albeit in her own way. He had heard all about her deeds since she had come to the city. She did what needed to be done when it needed to be done. She defended the weak and the helpless and she never ran from a fight. She had all the qualities that a knight required but she shied away from anything that smacked of nobility. He had known a couple of rangers in his time and had seen similar reactions from them. It seemed to be a flaw, if one could call it that, inherent to those who followed the ways of nature. What was more, she was a wood elf and he had never heard of one of their kind accepting noble titles or rewards. Hells, she was one of only two wood elves he had ever seen in the city, the other being her druid companion. She would require the same kind of delicate handling as a wild horse or she would bolt the first chance she got. For now it was best to let the matter drop and worry about such things after the fight with Lorne.
"I will lead you to the arena Nimbrethil," he nodded and turned to leave, expecting her to follow. He saw another protest forming on Grayson's lips, probably due to the fact that he had not addressed her by title and discreetly shook his head at the man. He would just have to explain things later to him. Grayson was a valiant knight, but he held too rigidly to the rules and regulations that knights and squires followed. He had not the flexibility to deal with situations such as this and not for the first time Nevalle had to question the wisdom of Lord Nasher choosing him. He was a favorite of Nasher's but Nevalle felt he was all wrong for someone like Nimbrethil. He would have to discuss this with Lord Nasher and see if a better choice could be made at the first opportunity.
Casavir watched Nimbrethil go with a heavy heart. The only thing left for him to do was pray to Tyr to grant her the strength and skill to overcome her opponent. Turning to the statue in the room, he bowed his head and offered a short prayer. When he was finished, he made his way out to the arena to find a good seat from which to observe the battle. He kept silently praying and hoping that he had not seen the girl for the last time.