Hi, just wanted to say that after re-reading the chapters I've noticed that I really have been mean and dismissive towards Dimitri and Rose, but please note that I'm only doing it because I'm writing from Adrian's point of view! I love Dimitri and Rose, I think they're awesome!

So please enjoy chapter 8!

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The water felt hard and cold against my face as I held it down in the filled up sink. When it eventually became hard to breathe I had to struggle to keep it down there. My lungs screamed for air, but my heart craved the water. In the water my tears remained unseen and the water would wash them all away.

I had not meant for any of it to happen. When it had, it had felt like I was being pushed aside in my mind by someone else. Someone aggressive. Someone mad.

Flashes of the incident kept filling my mind, reminding me of what I'd done. They had come frequently, during the couple of days I'd been conscious. Every five minutes or so they always ended with the same image; the one where I'd gained a moment of clarity, the moment where I'd discovered Rose's crumpled body and the moment where the love in Jill's eyes had been replaced by mere resent.

I didn't want to pull my head out of the water. I wanted to leave it there, let the water make its way through my throat into my lungs. And while the water slowly would fill them, my life would at the same time be drained away in the same cruel pace. It was what I deserved, after all.

"Adrian? Are you in there?"

There was a loud splash as I raised my head out of the sink and gasped for air. With quite some difficulty I managed to not collapse on the tile floor of the bathroom. I desperately wanted to, but the voice who called on me from the other side of the door left me without a choice.

"Yeah" I coughed. "I'm here."

The door opened and Daniella Ivashkov entered. She bore her usual designer clothes and jewellery, but her hair had lost all its elegance and lustre and was not in its regular bun. Her eyes were bloodshot and the rings under them were dark. My poor mother did not look so beautiful anymore. She had been busy staying by my side.

She gave me a vague smile and handed me a towel which I silently accepted. "So, did the water fresh you up? " I nodded. "Good. Though, you might want to take it easy with your head, I know Lissa healed it, but you can't be too careful."

I scoffed as I passed her and went into my bedroom. "Yeah, I don't think that's what to worry about in my head. In case you haven't noticed mom, I'm crazy."

This was too much for her and I couldn't blame her for bursting into tears. All those hours waiting for me to wake up and then being in stuck in this room with me (I wasn't allowed to be outside of it until I was proven to be stable) just to hear me refuse medication that would help against the insanity I repeatedly reminded her that I had.

"Mom, please, relax."

"How am I supposed to relax, Adrian? I never wanted you to have this…this power…this curse. When I found out I knew it would just be trouble! But what I don't understand is why you won't take the medication! What harm would it do?"

"We already discussed this, mom. I have a new ability, and until I find out how to use it, I'm not gonna go taking some pills."

My mother took a deep breath and braced herself to keep from shouting at me. Her aura was still raving mad, though. "Adrian, just because you had a stupid dream that was slightly similar to what happened the other day doesn't mean you can predict the future."

~o~0~o~

The hills of were a prosperous green and a single oak, its branches dancing in the wind, stood before me. On the left side of the tree was a swing and on the swing sat Lissa. She gave me a worried look. Great, she's not only interrupting my sleep but she's doing it to lecture me.

"Please, don't get mad ok. It's just that Jill has been begging me for days to check up on you," she said. "And we are all worried about you, Adrian."

"Yeah, well you don't have to. I'm fine."

"Adrian, she knows," Lissa said plainly, calling my bluff. Not that I was trying my best to be convincing, but still…"Jill was there when you attacked Rose, she knows that you're not fine and she knows that you don't want her to visit you."

I avoided looking into my cousin's eyes, all she said was true after all. No way, I would let Jill see me after what I'd done, especially after what I could have done.

"Adrian, she's my…She's my sister, my baby sister. And right now she's doing that thing that she does when she's pretending to be ok, but on the inside she's pained. I've seen her do it ever since we found out we were related. And now she's sad because her crush is avoiding her. You can't do that, Adrian. You can't play with her like you do with all the other girls."

"Will everybody, please, stop saying that? And besides, you really don't know your own sister, do you?"

I could see how Lissa winced at my remark. "What do you mean?"

The right side of my mouth twitched. "Well, if you did, you would know that your sister is the most caring creature there ever was. She's probably sad because she thinks that I'm suffering after what happened, and"- And that I'm avoiding her because I don't want what happened to Rose to happen to her-"and not because I'm avoiding her."

"I don't need to be lectured by you about dealing with under aged girls." The vampire queen retorted. "And not about anything else either for that matter." She gave a sigh and took my hand.

"Look, Adrian. I understand how you feel about using the medicine, I've been there. But the thing is I was never a danger to anyone else the way you are right now. Instead of keeping it all inside and blaming ourselves the way Sonya and I did, you take out your angst and anger on others. Maybe it's different for men and women or something, I don't know.

"What I do know is that we can't afford worrying about Robert Doru and you at the same time."

"I'm not taking some pills, Lissa. I've quit drinking and smoking for a reason, so I'm not gonna start popping pills too. I'm an addict, it doesn't matter what it is, I get addicted. So, no, I won't do it."

"Will you at least wear a ring? I'm not fully skilled enough to make it real effective, but at least it will help to drain the darkness away."

"I'll think about it."

I could see her opening her mouth to argue about what there was to think about when she suddenly stopped. "Eddie's waking me up."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

Lissa shook her head anxiously. "No, I hope not. He would only wake me up if it's really important. But he's supposed to guarding…" Lissa froze and looked at me, her eyes wide open. "Adrian, if you touch her-"

I never got to hear what Lissa was going to do, because a knock on the door drew me out of her Spirit-dream. With sore eyes I found my way to the door and against all screaming, sensible parts of my body (and I admit, they're not many) I opened it.

The first and only thing I saw was her. The green eyes, the wonderful round cheeks, her soft lips and that curly hair. She had a desperate look on her face and I couldn't help but embracing and draw her in for a kiss. She responded to it and after a few mesmerising moments we parted and looked into each others eyes.

I smiled at her and waited for her to respond to that as well. But instead, she slapped me.

~o~0~o~