The Nightmares Change
Ziva woke very confused. She shook her head. She had been home from Paris two weeks and had a nightmare every single night; sometimes multiple times during a night. Tonight, however, was different. She shook her head again and looked over at the clock. It was midnight. She had only slept for a couple of hours. She frowned.
Ziva recalled her nightmare perfectly. Normally, they were of the majority of her time in Somalia. They were of the beatings, the questioning, the torturing, the other stuff, but never this. This was very different. This was when the bag had been removed from her head and instead of finding Tony there, she could see her father's face. He had been holding a knife and laughing, telling her that he finally broke her ties with the American's and Tony wasn't going to rescue her.
Ziva realized after a minute that there were tears in her eyes. She knew why they were there. She realized what was causing these tears. But, she didn't know if she could do anything about it. She curled into a ball and allowed her tears to flow. She wished Tony was there, but decided that it was better not to disturb him. He was probably out with some girl or at some bar. It was a Friday night after all, and she would be the only person in the world trying to sleep at this time in a Friday night.
Ziva pulled out her phone and typed in a message and read it four or five times before hitting send.
Just tell me you are okay. Zi.
She placed the phone beside her feet on the bed and continued to hug her knees. She wouldn't ask Tony for comfort and she wouldn't ask for anything more than if he was okay. She continued to allow her tears to flow as she waited and waited for a response. She wondered what was taking so long, realizing that he was probably busy at the moment, and hoping that he was alright. She just needed to read a text message saying he was alright.
Her phone buzzed silently beside her. She glanced at the clock. Though it had felt like forever, it was only two minutes before she received an answer. Perhaps he was not busy.
Yea. I'm fine. What's up?
She smiled and wiped her tears from her eyes before typing in the next message. Tony was okay. That was all she needed to know. She was calming down as read the text message one more time before sending off her reply.
I was just worried about you, that's all. You know how Friday nights are.
She chuckled to herself. She was lying to him a little. She was worried about him, yes. But, this had nothing to do with a typical Friday night and this had everything to do with a nightmare. She wondered if he would see through her façade or not.
Her phone buzzed beside her and she grabbed it quickly and opened the new text message from Tony.
Friday nights aren't what they used to be, Zi. I'm fine. You had another nightmare, didn't you?
She sighed heavily. She didn't want to answer that question, though she could picture his face. His eyes would've lit up with understanding as he said this and he would have reached out to hug her, comforting her from whatever horrors her sleep held for her. She decided that she needed to be honest with him.
She opened a new window and typed out another message to him. She was half-satisfied with her answer and half-terrified of what he would say next.
Every night, Tony. Every night. I am fine now, though.
She placed the phone next to her cautiously, dreading the next time that it buzzed. She was comforted this time by his words. It was just so strange to have a nightmare about someone telling her that he was dead. Tony couldn't die! It wasn't an option. She wouldn't have it, at all.
Her phone buzzed and she rushed to get it, but hesitated in opening the message from him. When she finally did, she smiled at what it said.
Thank you for being honest, Zi. It means the world to me. J
She was glad he didn't offer to come over. He must have known that her reaching out in a simple text message was a huge step for her, because she had never done that much before, no matter what her nightmares contained. She also knew that he had to be curious as to what her nightmare was about if she was texting him after having one, to see that he was alright.
I know. You're welcome. J
Ziva put her phone back on the bedside table and laid back down in her bed. She wasn't going to sleep. She was going to read. She didn't want to re-emerge herself into a nightmare that had just ended. She didn't want to hear those words again. They scared her and made her need to text Tony. She felt so far out of control by doing that, but so comforted by him, no matter where he was or what he was doing. She needed to think this thing through.
Why had her nightmares suddenly shifted to worrying about Tony? Or rather, worrying about losing Tony? Why was she finding herself texting him without even thinking about it, when it was obvious that she wasn't in Somalia and no one had harmed him? She shook her head and emerged into a book. It was an escape that she could have for tonight. Perhaps this was a one-night thing to worry about.
A/N – Yay! Another chapter's done! Here we have Ziva waking up from a nightmare about losing Tony and not understanding it at all. Notice that we've been back from Paris for two weeks. There's been nothing happening between the two for these two weeks. They've only worked together. But, she's losing him in her dreams and not understanding it and finding herself text messaging him to see if he is okay. For Ziva, that's huge! She doesn't reach out to anyone. She usually internalizes everything. Please leave a review about what you think!