Thank you to all my readers that have so far enjoyed this story. ^_^ Updates might be coming faster from here on, as I'm really going to enjoy writing the following chapters. I even have one of them pre-written, so I hope you're looking forward to it!

Competition Notice: For those of you who're quite observant, I've buried a cookie in the story. The first one to find it will be awarded either with being sent three future chapters before they are posted for everyone to read or he/she will be able to suggest a scene he/she wants to see featuring the Naruto characters. The scene will either be written into this story or a separate one-shot. This competition starts as of now and will run during the entire fanfic.

Disclaimer: I do not own the universe of Naruto, nor do I own its characters.

Chapter Four: Unbearable Anguish

It was cold. A slight breeze rustled through the trees, creating a soothing melody. Rain clouds had gathered, blocking out the sun and casting gray shadows on the silent, black-clad people that had gathered below the pending storm. Eyes were downcast, staring at the hard earth beneath their feet, or at each other, giving and taking solace. The wind spiked up, chilling the mourners, but no one complained about the weather. No one made a move to head home, where they would be safe from the coming rain.

In truth, Hyuuga Neji would have had it no other way.

Pearly lavender eyes gazed up at the storm clouds, a passive expression on his face. The heavens reflected his heart at that moment: stormy and bleak, without a sliver of hope or warmth. He felt cold, cold to the bone, and distant. People shot him worried, curious or sympathetic looks, but he knew none really understood what he was going through. Not even Tenten. The kunoichi was standing by his side, face wrought with grief. Her hair wasn't tied in her usual twin buns, but instead hung loose around her shoulders. Neji wasn't even in the state of mind to admire his teammate's beauty.

Though he would never admit to it, Hyuuga Neji preferred the stormy skies because he'd have no one, not even Nature, being happy during his teammate's funeral.

A warm hand slipped into his and he knew even without looking that it was Tenten's. her slender fingers intertwined with his own. He realized she was shaking slightly. He squeezed her hand gently, giving her no other sign that he was even aware of her. His eyes had turned away from the heavens and were staring now at the memorial stone where his friend and teammate's name had been carved.

Rock Lee.

Feeling as if tears were going to rise, Neji looked away, towards where they had dug the grave. His coffin had been placed inside, and now they were covering it, burying him. Covering everything that had been him.

The two ninja were frozen in their respective positions for what felt like hours, but in truth must have only been minutes. Suddenly, Neji jumped the most frightening noise he'd ever heard came from behind him. Dragging his eyes off his dead teammate's prone form, he turned around in exhaustion, brandishing a kunai, to be met with an appropriately terrifying sight.

Tenten had fallen to her knees, arms and head on the ground in front of her. Her entire body was shaking violently as she cried like a keening bird, each sob almost wrenched out of her tortured form.

Neji stood rooted to the spot, thistle eyes wide as he stared at his comrade. He'd never seen her cry before, never mind wail and clutch at her own hair like that. The sick feeling in his gut vanished suddenly and a tight knot replaced it. With a superhuman effort, he reigned his own pain and grief aside, walking slowly towards Tenten and grasping her by the shoulders.

"Tenten." His voice was soft, frail. It frightened him even more, but his next effort didn't do much to ameliorate his tone. "Tenten… Get up. We have to leave." A sob answered him. "Come on.." he continued, begging her. The little control he'd gathered in the moment of need wavered and threatened to fail him, but he knew he had to do this. "We need to get him back to Konoha." He told her in a soothing, quiet voice, heaving her to her feet despite his own injuries and fatigue. Even though she was still crying, he pulled her into a rare hug, holding her tightly. At first, she didn't respond, but then her arms went around him to clutch him tightly. She cried into his shoulder for several minutes before he withdrew and wiped her eyes, effectively streaking dirt across her cheeks. "Come on." He repeated, hoping she'd follow. Though fresh tears replaced the previous ones, the kunoichi nodded, wiping them away herself. She had a blank expression on her face, much like his own.

Neji simply nodded at her and walked back to their fallen comrade, grunting as he heaved the dead shinobi onto his back. Lee was just as heavy as he was, if not more with his leg weights. Neji didn't remove them, however, knowing Lee would have liked them with him. Instead, he made sure to close his eyes then, with a look at Tenten, he began to lead the way back to Konoha.

Neji blinked as he tried to suppress the painful memories, memories he wished he could forget. He was sure they would haunt him for the rest of his life, both during his waking and sleeping moments. He couldn't close his eyes without seeing Lee's white face, purple shadows starting to form under his eyes, those dead, glassy eyes…

With a jerk of his head, Neji attempted to shake that image out of his head, his jaw clenched. A low grunt escaped him, despite his best efforts, drawing the worried looks of Hinata and Naruto. His cousin had positioned herself away from her team and close to Neji, hoping to comfort him should he require it, or simply show quiet support. Her lavender eyes were filled with pain, but also worry. Worry for him, Neji noted without any emotion whatsoever. The knuckleheaded ninja, on the other hand, briefly met his eyes, then looked to the side. Just as unemotionally as before, Neji noted how Naruto was suppressing any sparks of anger. Instead, his bright blue eyes were downcast, staring at the hard ground.

Behind him, Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulders, but made no other move. The silver-haired shinobi was discretely watching over his rival's students, worried about how he was going to break the news to his friend that his protégé had been killed in action.

Neji didn't care about the others around him right then. To him, all their words were empty, useless. They didn't know what it was like to lose a teammate, a teammate you were supposed to be responsible. A teammate whose life was in your hands. Despite himself, Neji was sure that it was his carelessness that had led to Lee's death.

It's all my fault. He thought, staring as the last spadeful of dirt was thrown and leveled over the wooden coffin bearing his friend, still clad in his favorite green spandex suit and leg warmers.

The run back towards Konoha was the hardest thing Neji had ever done in his life. The weight on his back burdened him both metaphorically and literally, a weight on his body and conscience. He wouldn't allow himself to think about it, however, and instead focused on keeping his remaining teammate alive.

Tenten.

He kept the kunoichi running in front of him, where he could see her. He could see how her shoulders were slack, but he was grateful that she still found the strength to put one foot in front of the other, like he was doing.

Their exhaustion was great, though, and soon he had to call them to a halt. Tenten turned and gave him a look that almost made him melt; the desperation and pleading in her eyes, longing to keep moving, made him wish he could allow her to burn herself out. As they were, however, they couldn't go any further.

"We'll only stop to catch our breath." He promised her softly, setting Lee down gently and crossing his arms in his lap. Looking up at her, he sat himself down and beckoned for her to go to him. Mechanically, she obeyed. Her movements were fluid and robotic, like his. He sighed and placed his arms around her shoulders as she sat down beside him, pulling her closer against him. Tenten's arms snaked around his torso again, but he was glad that she didn't cry. He couldn't stand to see her cry again. The sight had only made him despair.

Despite his words, the two drifted off into a troubled slumber for two to three hours, each waking up every few minutes. They didn't let go of each other, aware that they both needed any support the other had to offer. Tenten noted how distraught Neji looked in sleep; his face was chalk white and his mouth pressed into a tight line, eyebrows furrowed. It made her feel guilty for not allowing him to grieve, for forcing him to take on the burden of their situation alone while she was paralyzed, helpless. She didn't do anything, however, just buried her face against his chest, holding back her tears as she caught a glimpse of Lee.

Neji woke to find her like that one and a half hours later. For a moment, he was confused, then the weight of their reality came crashing on top of him, making his shoulders hunch. He clutched her to him, burying his face into her hair and inhaling her scent. He took deep breaths to steady the shaking in his body, then woke Tenten with a gentle shake. "Come on. We have to go." He told her softly, helping her to her feet, then bearing the weight once more.

They arrived in Konoha as the sun was setting.

Tired and battered, with tear streaks through the dirt on their faces, the two Leaf-nin arrived at the gates to the Hidden leaf Village, scarcely believing they made it. They paused outside, staring up at the Leaf emblem carved into the wood above the gates, neither having the courage to enter their home. Neji was the first to brace himself and take the first step into the village, making the guards look up and stare at the two battered ninja. Their various wounds were poorly taken care of and had bled in several places, but what drew their attention was the lifeless hulk of a Green Beast that the Hyuuga was carrying. Both guards rose to their feet, but Neji didn't even pause, walking past them without a word. Tenten was by his side, her face stony.

In silent agreement, the two teammates headed straight for the hospital, where the med-nins would take care of their friend and prepare him for what was to come. Neither even gave a thought to reporting to the Hokage. The mission lay, deeply forgotten. The streets were quiet at that hour, but people were still about. Many stopped and stared in awe and revulsion as the pair walked down the roads, gawking at the corpse they were carrying. Tenten was aware of louder noises approaching their way from their left, but didn't turn to look until someone called their names. She stopped walking, Neji following her example only several steps ahead. Neither turned, nor said a word.

Naruto rushed over, holding three dango sticks in his right hand. His was grinning as he called their names, but froze in his tracks once he saw how they looked, Lee's prone form on Neji's back. Instantly, he dropped the dango and rushed to them, looking distressed.

"Bushy-Eyebrows! What happened? How did he get hurt?" he demanded, not understanding why both members of Team Gai were avoiding his eyes. "Don't just stand there! We have to get him to Granny Tsunade! She'll fix him up in no time!"

"No." Neji said softly, looking in the opposite direction of Naruto. His tone seemed arrogant to Naruto, aloof. It only enraged the Nine Tails' Jinchuuriki.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" he growled, moving towards him to take the body off him. "Whatever it is, Sakura-chan and Granny Tsunade can take care of it! Don't be such an idiot-"

He was shocked and surprised as Neji spun suddenly, kicking him straight in the stomach as he went to touch lee. Naruto was sent skidding backwards, but managed to keep his balance. His angry expression changed into a confused and surprised one as he saw the look on Neji's face: pure sorrow and rage. The emotions were so strong in those usually blank, lavender eyes that the boy just straightened, not making another move to approach.

"What do you mean, Neji?" he asked again in a softer tone, his eyes really taking in how the three-man squad appeared. Tenten was still standing stock-still, several cuts and injuries all over her body. Her eyes were staring at the ground in front of her, mouth pressed into a tight line. Her hair had begun to escape her buns, but she didn't seem to care. Neji was in no better shape, but his expression betrayed his strong emotions. "What do you mean, Neji?" Naruto repeated, this time more loudly. His voice tensed, eyes widening as realization started to dawn.

Neji glared at him angrily, furious with the ninja in front of him for forcing him to admit something he could barely understand himself, that the cold body he was carrying would stir never again, would never strike another Nice Guy pose, would never smile…

"Lee's dead." He stated in a cold, flat voice, his anger draining away. He straightened and looked away from the blonde shinobi, away from Tenten.

Naruto's temper returned and, with a snarl, he grabbed Neji by the robes on his chest. "What do you mean, dead?" he demanded. "Why? Why did this happen? Why didn't you help him?"

"Don't touch me!" Neji yelled, taking several steps back. The anger was back, as well as a deep rooted pain. "What happened to Lee wasn't his fault… It.. it was-"

"Don't you dare say it was Fate!" Naruto yelled, cutting him off. Tenten flinched, staring up at the two arguing men in front of her. It was so surreal to her, that the two could argue at a time like this. She looked to Neji, frightened of his expression. Frightened for him.

As Naruto made to grab at him again, Neji screamed and gave him another mighty kick, infused with the little chakra he had left. As naruto was sent backwards, he slumped, seemingly completely drained. The anger had left him again, leaving behind only churning pain and misery. If his previous and current state had frightened Tenten before, it was nothing compared to the terror his next words brought her.

"It was my fault…."

The Hokage now stood in front of the freshly covered grave, looking down at the stone that had been placed in memory of the shinobi killed in action. "Rock Lee: The Green Beast of Konoha. May the Power of Youth Never Fade." Neji knew Tenten had selected that epitaph, but he didn't find any solace in it. The kunoichi by his side stood straight and strong, watching with dry eyes as were idol gave a farewell speech for their fallen comrade.

As Lee's teammates and last people to see him alive, Neji and Tenten were supposed to be the first to walk up to the grave and leave their offerings. Neji only blinked as the Hokage left her own wreathe of flowers, bowing towards once in front of the grave. Neji hadn't even realized the burial was over. It took a warm tug at his hand for him to look down at Tenten. Her warm, brown eyes were filled with sorrow, but a resolve he'd never before seen in her.

"Come on, Neji." She told him softly, squeezing his hand. "We have to go to him." She coaxed, tugging him along behind her as she walked forwards towards the grave. Neji followed her mechanically, the two leaving their flowers and bowing. No one rushed them. Everyone watched as the two young adults said their separate goodbyes to their fallen friend. After five minutes, Tenten gently led Neji back to the others, standing with him. She hadn't let go of his hand, still, holding it securely.

Together, they watched as the rest of their comrades paid their respects to Lee, each telling him something different as they said goodbye. Naruto looked dejected as he laid a single flower on the grave, Sakura had tears in her eyes, Ino was mute, Chouji was quivering… Tenten noticed all their reactions, feeling closer to her fellow shinobi in their moment of grief. Beside her, Neji didn't notice a thing, eyes still staring at the grave. The weight in his chest hadn't left him when they'd deposited the body in the morgue. Instead, it had grown so much it was now choking him, squeezing the very life out of him.

As the funerary rites were over, the crowd started to thin gradually. Some of their comrades seemed to want to come and talk to them, but Sakura shook her haid and suggested no. Hinata seemed the most torn out of them all, looking worriedly at her cousin. Tenten's eyes met her and she shook her head as Neji pulled her into a hug, resting his head on her shoulder. She could feel him shaking slightly and, in reflex, put her arms around him. "I've got him." She mouthed to Hinata and the girl nodded, leaving them alone. Soon, the two were the only ones in the graveyard.

Neji let go of her after a few moments, turning back to the grave. Aabove them, they heard a crackle of thunder, but neither paid it any attention.

"Neji…" Tenten choked as her friend fell to his knees in front of Lee's grave, staring desperately at the flower-covered dirt.

"I failed you…" she heard him whisper softly and her heart broke. She allowed him several minutes to himself, then walked up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. She took a deep breath, steadying herself for what she knew she had to do.

"Come on, Neji." She coaxed him softly. "It's time to go home." When he didn't respond, she knelt down by him, turning his face to look at her. She quavered under the force of his gaze, of the misery and self-loathing she could detect in them. "Neji," she tried again, "We must leave." Wordlessly, he nodded and allowed her to help him to his feet. "Come on, now. I'll take you home. Now it's my turn to take care of you." She added in a low voice, taking his hand and steering him slowly towards the Hyuuga compound. Both were silent, both were brooding.

It started to rain.

Author's Note: Finally I found out how to add those horizontal lines. , I shall turn and edit previous chapters to include them, hoping to make reading them a little easier. That was quite enjoyable to write. ^_^ Warning: it doesn't get much happier from here on.

This is where the real plot begins. (And, for you romantics, this is where the eventual Neji/ Tenten begins).

Please look forward to the next chapter, Grayness of the Soul