Considering

Ziva clutched her phone tightly in her hands. She glanced at the clock. Five minutes after four. She had just sent the text message revealing to Tony what her nightmare was about and she was honestly afraid. She had never felt so afraid in all her life, not even when she was captured by Saleem and not of anything, ever, in her whole memory.

She wanted to ask Tony to come over. She just wasn't sure it was a good idea. But, she knew she needed him. She needed him there. She needed to see his face and know that it was going to be okay. She trusted her experience with Tony that he wouldn't just walk away upon what she had just admitted to.

Ziva could picture his face. He would be angry. He would be angry at Saleem all over again and probably even her father for sending her there, but not at her. She almost felt like it was her fault. Yes, she had agreed to go and yes, she had hesitated. But she realized that it was Eli David's orders that sent her to Somalia and that he had known that it was probably a suicide mission or going to end in some torture. He had warned her that it might, but then had never given her a choice.

She had come to terms with the fact that it wasn't her fault and yet she still felt the remnants of that guilt. Could she ask Tony for his help with this? Could she ask for him to come over and comfort her right after admitting that? She didn't know. She was too afraid to even breathe. Her breaths were coming in very low and shallow and she sat like a statue on her bed with all her muscles clenched as she tried hard to control the uncontrollable shaking she was experiencing now.

She glanced at the clock. It was now ten past four. What was Tony doing? Why wasn't he messaging her back? Should she send him another message? What would she say when she had no idea what to do with all this.

Ziva felt tears coming into her eyes as she thought that Tony was failing her now, when she needed him most. She was breaking down and losing control. Feeling it slip away a little at a time. What if he changed his mind on how much he wanted to be there for her? What if he changed his mind on how strong she was? What if he changed his mind on whose fault it must be?

The questions flew in circles in Ziva's head, causing her to lose more control. Sobs were escaping her lips and she was shaking more and more violently. But, her phone vibrated in her hands.

Ziva's breath caught in her throat as her tears continued to work their way down her cheeks. She didn't want to read the message, but she knew she had to. She was terrified of whatever it was going to say.

Meet me downstairs in five. On my way already. Put your running shoes on. I know running helps you.

Ziva moved automatically, having a difficult time with the laces through her tears. She knew that she should have changed, but she didn't care. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was wearing a small tank top and small shorts. She didn't care. She needed to do what he told her. He sounded urgent.

But there was hope inside Ziva now. He hadn't forgotten about her and he hadn't run away. As a matter of fact, he was running right at her as soon as she opened the door at the bottom of her apartment. He placed one hand on either shoulder.

Tony took a moment to take Ziva in. She was shaking uncontrollably and there was so much fear in her eyes that he thought she might break in his arms. There were tears pouring down her bronzed cheeks.

Tony's expression turned to one of pain as he realized just how much Ziva was hurting over this nightmare and her past. He realized how terrified she was of telling him exactly what happened in Somalia. He knew now, and he hadn't gone the other way. He had assumed it before and hadn't gone away. He wasn't angry at all, surprisingly, but he was worried about Ziva.

He pulled her into a hug, holding her as tightly as he could bind his arms around her, locking her whole body into his chest and allowing his own tears to fall for her pain. When he sobbed, she held her breath and wrapped her arms around him, feeling the need to comfort his pain as well, even though she was fully aware that his pain was her pain.

Could she ask him for help with this? That was still the question on her mind. He was obviously willing to give it. And right now he was giving it without her asking for it. He knew what she needed and he was in pain because she was. It was terrible and wonderful all at the same time. She didn't want to put Tony through this, but she knew that he was willing to do it to himself.

"I am sorry," she whispered.

"You have no reason to be sorry, Ziva," he whispered back, stroking her hair lightly as they clung to each other as though their lives depended on that one hug.

"I... I did not want to hurt you," Ziva muttered as she pressed her face into his chest, not really sure how to react to her own admission of things right now.

"I only want you to… to heal, Zi," he muttered, pressing his face into her hair. "I want you to heal and learn that everything will be okay, without pretending anymore."

She nodded and squeezed him a little tighter. He was truly wonderful and he had gotten the meaning of her nightmare. He had seen the fear in her eyes. He had seen the vulnerability that she was feeling. He had known from farther away, too. He was too tuned to Ziva and what she needed and they both knew it. But, she wasn't afraid of that at the moment. She was comforted by it. She just wasn't sure if she should be considering getting used to this. But, she considered that she could possibly ask for his help in the future if he was willing to give it in her neediest times.

A/N – So, yes, we have another chapter, so soon. I had to write these two together, because they are in the same night and the words were in my head, so I had to put them down on paper. Here we see Ziva go through more emotions than every before. But, she is considering that it might be okay to ask for Tony's help. She is really thinking it out now that he is there to comfort her when she didn't even ask for it. And, wow! Tony just knows what makes Ziva feel better and just knows from across town that she needs his help and he comes over. I'm amazed at both of them right now. This is a huge step in the right direction. Let me know what you think!