No one ever reads these. ;.;

Chapter Nine – Juxtaposed

"Kaiten!"

Obediently, a shimmering dome of blue chakra sprung into existence, its iridescence lighting up the gray dawn. He kept the protective shield up for twenty seconds, then stumbled out of it, grabbing a tree trunk to keep himself upright. His breath steamed in the chilly air. When he straightened, he had to lean his back against the tree once more, light-headed. He'd been at it for the past two hours, tiring himself out. Usually, he didn't start training until six in the morning, but the previous night had been rough.

Two days had already passed since his argument with Tenten. He'd not seen hide nor hair of her since then and was growing increasingly worried. At first, he'd been angry at her for presuming to know what he was going through. After calming down initially, however, he'd found that his anger had left him entirely. He might not have been furious with her, but he was still far too proud to go and beg her forgiveness. Besides, he'd reasoned, she'd also calm down and they could move on like nothing had happened. The way he felt then, pretending and moving on sounded like the best choice to make. He didn't want them to dwell on their fight. He liked and needed her company too much.

The next morning, however, Tenten didn't show up for their morning spar. He waited for over an hour, then decided to get some practice in anyway. He'd returned to the Hyuuga compound early, a little worried. Still, he knew that his Tenten didn't like to be fussed over, so he chose to stick by his plan. He was hoping that, by giving her space, she'd also forgive him.

He didn't realize how seriously flawed that plan was until he met Hinata that morning as he returned, worn and anxious.

"Neji-niisan?" she asked, stopping in her tracks and looking at him. The Hyuuga heiress had been on her way to meet with her teammates, but the sight of her cousin had thrown her off. "What are you doing back so soon?" she questioned him, her dark eyebrows furrowing together. Usually, Neji didn't return from his morning spars with Tenten until half an hour before lunch. That meant that he was hours early. His silence didn't reassure her, either. "Neji?" she prodded again, more firmly, and crossed her arms. He knew that expression – she'd not budge until she got what she wanted.

Silently, he let out a world-weary sigh. "Tenten didn't show up." he told her, knowing that the sooner he told her the truth, the sooner he could go to his room. Hinata's eyebrows only pressed closer together.

"She didn't show up? Why? Tenten never forgets your spars." she pointed out, biting her lip. Perhaps her friend was too sick to send a message, never mind get out of bed? From Neji's expression, however, she gathered that he already feared this would happen. "What did you do?"

The question took him by surprise, as well as the guarded, stern tone that accompanied it. At that moment, with her expression serious and her arms crossed, Hinata looked more like her father than ever before.

He couldn't escape her gaze, however, so just sighed again and looked down at the ground. "We fought last night. I was hoping she'd have forgiven me by now, but it seems I was wrong." he said softly.

You fought?" his cousin asked, her eyebrows rising slightly. "About what?"

This was uncomfortable, Neji decided. He found that, to his surprise, he didn't want to repeat what had been said as if, subconsciously, he knew he had been wrong. "We were sparring like usual but then she asked me how I was feeling... She.. She said she knew I was in pain and that she wanted to help." Hinata nodded, still frowning. "But then she started patronizing and coddling me, then pretended to know what I was going through. I snapped at that point and said she had no idea. Then we shouted at each other for a while. Then she left." he finished, still not looking at his cousin.

He looked up, however, when he heard a sharp intake of breath. It was the perfect movement; Hinata's palm collided with his cheek, causing his head to snap to the side under the force of her snap.

"You said what?" she shrieked, taking shallow, ragged breaths. He doubted he'd ever seen his sweet, gentle cousin so rattled before. Especially not with him. "How could you be so heartless?" she demanded, spots of color rising in her cheeks. "How can you say that to her, when you bothjust lost a teammate?" she demanded again, her shoulders starting to shake- she was that furious.

Neji blinked at his cousin, stunned into silence. When he realized she expected an answer, he brought his hands up. "But it's different! I-"

He was cut off as Hinata slapped him gain, on the other cheek this time. "I want no excuses! Are you an idiot?" she asked him. He said nothing, just shied away in case she wanted to slap him again. Besides, his muddled brain couldn't come up with something to answer back. "Tenten was just as cut up about lee's death as you were, you idiot!" she yelled, her voice rising dangerously. "She just held back the tears and kept a lid on her grief because she didn't want to lose you, too!" near the end, Hinata's voice dropped back to its normal volume and she gazed at him sadly. "You were so out of it, she bottled up her feelings so that she could help you through it. It's tearing her up from the inside, but still she hasn't let herself grieve. Because of you. Because you were blaming and hating yourself, and she couldn't let you do that." she said, now tears starting to rise in her eyes. Angrily, she wiped them away. "And you say she doesn't understand!"

"Hinata," he attempted to start again, his voice wobbly and his eyes soft and wide, "I-"

"No!" she cut him off before he could continue. "I don't want to hear another word out of you!" He could tell the fury was back, along with a heavy sorrow. "I don't even want to see you..."

With that, the Hyuuga prodigy could only watch as his younger cousin turned away, her long hair hiding her face as she practically ran away from him as fast as she could. He could only stand there, rooted to the spot and trying to digest everything that she had just said.

He missed her.

Even though it was something Hyuuga Neji hated to admit to himself, he missed Tenten greatly. He missed the adrenaline rush and excitement that sparring with her brought, the peace he felt in her company, the relaxation and companionship she offered him. He missed her threatening them with bodly harm whenever she was angry. Him and Lee.

The Hyuuga had fled the compound just as Hinata had done, unable to stomach her accusations. Every single one of them had stung deeply, simply because every single one of them was true. He had left in hopes of gathering his thoughts and shattered pride before facing his cousin again. After wandering the village's streets for half an hour, he'd withdrawn to a high roof in order to escape the curious and damningly knowing looks people threw him. He couldn't bear their mixed compassion and curiosity.

Really, he thought mournfully as he gazed up at the clouds, arms crossed under his head, I was so wrapped up in my own bloody depression that I didn't appreciate her enough. Losing Lee might've been so hard, but letting myself wallow helplessly cost me even more... How could I have not seen how much pain Tenten was in herself? How? I might deserve to suffer, but she shouldn't. I was supposed to be the strong one! Yet... All I've done is let myself become another burden for her, when she already has enough to deal with...How can I face her when I was such an ass? No.. She's probably better off without me. Just like Lee was. I failed them both.

Another heavy sigh escaped his lips as he opened his eyes again, staring up at the sky. The light had begu to slowly fade as the sun began its slow descent into the west, bathing the clouds in soft shades of pink and gold. Another time, Neji would have privately admired their beauty. Now, he just wasn't in the mood.

"Don't sigh – it ruins the mood." came a voice suddenly from his left and Neji jumped, sitting up into a startled sitting position. He had to blink twice to get the web of moisture out of his eyes before he recognized Shikamaru. The Chuunin was lying down about two feet from where he had been lying just moments ago, gazing lazily up at the sk.

"When did you...?" It wasn't often that the Hyuuga was lost for words, but it seemed to be happening more and more lately. Times were changing. Or, perhaps, he was.

"About twenty minutes." Shikamaru answered his unfinished question, not at all fazed by the Hyuuga's defensive and unnerved demeanor. "You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't notice me. This is where I usually sit and watch the clouds. But you looked too comfortable to move and, since the roof's big enough, I didn't bother you." he added unnecessarily. In truth, Shikamaru had come there on a mission, but Neji didn't need to know that.

So much for my chakra-locating senses.Neji thought and sighed again, then lay back down. He felt slightly uncomfortable with Shikamaru there, but there wasn't much he could do about it. As the two fellow ninja fell into silence, Neji returned to his previous thoughts. He must have sighed again, because Shikamaru turned his head to the side to look at him. The Hyuuga looked incredibly burdened by something. It didn't take a genius to figure out what.

"What else could you have done?"

The question surprised Neji, who turned to glance at the spiky-haired young man that lay almost a meter away from him. Pulled out of his thoughts, he was unsure what the Chuunin meant. "Excuse me?"

"What else could you have done? On the mission?" Shikamaru repeated wearily. Neji was sure the phrase 'what a drag' was passing through his mind. However, the question demanded an answer, one that Neji found he didn't even have to think about.

"Anything. I could have done anything to save him." he said, teeth gritted together. This was a topic he didn't want to discuss, especially not now that he'd hurt Tenten. He couldn't bear the thought of another shinobi criticizing him, for he was sure that's what Shikamaru would do. He regretted his incompetence enough without others pointig it out to him. He was a lousy captain.

"Is that so?" Shikamaru remarked challengingly, though his voice remained calm and tranquil. "Because from what I heard, there wasn't much more that you could have done."

Now Neji was beginning to get angry. Why did everyone keep trying to tell him that when they weren't there, when they didn't know how badly he'd failed his team? Why did they keep coddling him, as if he weren't a Jouning that could take the blame for his mistakes?

Before Neji could get into a bigger stir, Shikamaru interrupted his inward tirade. "Have you gone over the mission again?" he asked calmly.

"Yes." came the growled reply. Instinctively, Neji's eyes narrowed at the young man, as if ready to activate his Byakugan.

"Then tell me what happened." Shikamaru challenged him, turning so that their eyes met.

Neji was almost bursting with anger, but he forced himself to calm down and growl out the words. "After we destroyed the base, we began to turn back towards Konoha. On our way, some scouts had set up an explosive trap that separated us so that they could fight us tête-à-tête. After I finished with mine, I went to help Tenten, since she was closer. I could tell Lee was still fighting. But... by the time we got to him..." His voice broke off and he fell silent, clenching his jaw.

"So what more could you have done?" Shikamaru asked him after leaving a small pause. "Did you know there were more enemies?"

"No." came the unwilling reply. "They weren't within y divination when we arrived and we didn't see a single trace of them."

"Exatly. And, once the bomb blew, did you take your time in dispatching your enemy?"

"No..."

"And, did Tenten need your help? Could you have just gone to Lee?"

"No..." he added, even more grudgingly. "If I hadn't gotten to her, Tenten would... she'd also be dead." he said, shuddering violently at the thought. Though Shikamaru noticed, he chose to pretend he hadn't seen it, just like the Hyuuga's moist eyes when he'd first noticed him. It had been very hard for Neji to say the words, but once he did, he feltpeace starting to settle in him. Shikamaru smiled slightly as the Hyuuga began to relax.

"Exactly my point. If you'd done anything differently, you might have saved Lee, but lost Tenten. When you went to her, Lee was still fighting. You had no reason to go to him, when Tenten was in imminent danger. You didn't choose between them, you simply helped the teammate you thought needed you most. Besides, Neji, both Lee and Tenten are Chuunin now. They'd hate it if they knew you thought of them as your responsibility. You might be the team leader as a Jounin, but you're in no way in complete charge of them. They can take care of themselves." Neji said nothing, looking at him with wide eyes. "So, to conclude, I see no logical way how you could have done anything to save Lee. Not with an outcome you'd have liked, at least. Anyway, I better get going. Suppertime." the Nara said, getting up abruptly and dusting his leggings off. "See ya." he said.

"Goodbye." Neji murmured as the shinobi leaped off the rooftop. His sudden departure didn't faze Neji so much as his words had. E ran over their conversation in every way he thought possible, but he couldn't think of a different answer to his friend's questions, nor of any other way to look at the situation. He fought with his inner guilt long an hard, trying to blame himself, but he could no longer find a way to do it. He still struggled for countless minutes before, finally, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. His hand,s that had een balled up into fists in his lap, relaxed and wrapped around his knees. The tension in his shoulders was released as he took another deep breath.

He was at peace.

It was already dark. The sun's light was only a distant memory as Neji walked down the street, each step heavy in the silence. The civilians had long since gone to their houses and even Konoha-nin were scarce at that hour. Neji didn't mind; he craved solitude in that moment to keep himself focused. Even the slightest distraction could serve as an excuse to back down from what he had to do. He knew it wouldn't be pleasant. It might even turn violent if Tenten was in a bad enough mood. Despite the dangers, he knew he had to make peace with her and beg her forgiveness.

Though he tried to walk slowly, he was soon in front of her door, having climbed the two flights of stairs to her apartment. He raised his fist to nock, then pulled it away, abashed. Part of him wanted to turn away and flee. The other part of him cursed his cowardice and straightened his spine. He wouldn't let his teammate down. Right now, he had to ignore his pride and say what he really felt, both about her and their situation.

Swallowing purposefully, he knocked on the gnarled wood three times and stood his ground, ready to dodge any projectiles or weapons Tenten might throw at him.

When the door finally opened, however, he wasn't ready for what he met.

Tenten stood in the doorway, a wrn shawl wrapped around her shoulders. She had dark shadows under her eyes and her hair was hanging, matted, down her back. The way she hugged herself drew attention to the weight she'd lost. When he met her eyes, his heart almost broke at the immense sorrow and pain that was buried deep within her chocolate irises.

The two teammates regarded each other for a few wordless moments, then Neji stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around her fragile-looking body, letting the door close behind him. He stroked her hair soothingly as she hugged him round the chest, sobs working their way up and tearing themselves out of her mouth. He only held her as she shook with the force of her crying, holding her securely against his chest.

"Sh... it'll be okay." he whispered, meaning every word. They would be okay. He'd make sure of that.

A/N: Last chapter coming up! Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me so long. I'm sorry it took me a month to update- this was harder to write than I'd ever imagined (also, writer's block and procrastination).

Please, look forward to the next and final chapter, In Peace we Rest.