I shivered, the cold running down my spine and settling underneath me. I felt the concrete surrounding me, the softness of the dirty pillow that lay beneath my head and the frosty air that blanketed the room.
A flash of light passed through the bars, a floating ball of light bouncing on the walls. I watched it, reached out for it, but it darted from my touch, illuminating the cell around me.
"Macy." My name. I jumped from the space on the floor, grasping the bars before me and suddenly my body vibrated with pain. I met the cold floor with a thump, a gut wrenching scream tumbling from my lips and echoing down the walls. The pain shooting down my veins like fire in my skin for what seemed like hours.
"Please." I rasped.
"Macy." MOM, and she screamed.
(SONG: BETTER- KHALID)
I inhaled a deep breath as my body shot upright in bed, my hand clutching my chest as I adjusted to the room around me. I immediately felt around me, convincing myself I was in fact still at Hogwarts, albeit not in my own bed, but somewhere slightly better and comfier. Draco's soft snores of sleep met my ears as I found him tucked under the duvet facing the other way, he stirred in his sleep. Light poured through the windows telling me I had gotten through the better part of the night, thought my body was thick with sweat and hot and stuffy after what I'm sure was a night of tossing and turning.
I carefully crept from the bed, craving a shower more than ever to wash away last nights nightmares. I let the water calm my manic brain as I leant my head against the cool shower side, the musky scent of Draco's body wash reminding me of last nights memories and the happiness that resided in them instead. It was almost breakfast time and I knew I was due for a story time to my disappearance to Pansy and the rest of my cohort. I sullied out of the bathroom to find Draco still sleeping peacefully, smiling at his hair in a messy mop on his head after a big night.
"Malfoy." I half whispered. Usually I just yelled at him, but it seemed...like a softer route was something I should have considered now that we were...dating. "Malfoy." I tried again, but his eyes stayed shut.
"Draco!" I yelped. That lasted long. He stirred as a groan sounded from his mouth.
"M." He sounded, sleep still laced in his raspy voice. "Most people would wake someone up nicely, gently even, you know, like a whisper or-."
"Tried that." I retorted, a smile growing on his feature, his eyes staying shut, still enveloped with sleep. "I'm going to breakfast. Are you coming?"
He sighed, his back flexing as he stretched and returned back to his sleeping position.
"I'll meet you there." He mumbled. I wavered for a moment, rocking on the ball of my feet as I pondered on saying goodbye. Thankfully, Draco narrowly blinked an eye open, his gaze dragging down me before closing again. He let out a soft laugh.
"No Macy. You don't need to kiss me goodbye or anything." He chuckled and I let out a deep breath.
"Thank god. Got it, have a good- Bye." I got out and raced for the door.
I passed by my dorm to change into some fresh clothes and quickly rattled off my night to Mom in a letter, I could stop by the owlery between classes.
A sunday was much needed after such an eventful night and I was glad to have the day off to relax. The dining hall seemed to be in a cheerful mood however, students gathered in their groups no doubt catching up on the festivities of Starfell.
Pansy caught my eye as soon as I walked in, her alarming stare telling me I was in for explaining. Sometimes I found it hard to differentiate her from a best friend and a helicopter mom.
"Macy Shaws! You missed out on starfell!" A scowl formed on her lips as she spread her hands on the table. Blaise rolled his eyes besides her giving me a one over as to say, well what did you expect.
"Aren't you the one that said it was overrated?" I raised an eyebrow as I sat opposite her and she cowered back down.
"Yeah, well...it was actually kind of beautiful so." A soft smile played on her face and it made me feel kind of warm inside that Pansy saw the beauty of it.
"I take it you had a good night then?" I asked as I reached for the toast, glancing to both Blaise and Pansy.
"Perfect night. Now are you going to tell us about yours?" Blaise pushed with a questioning expression. Honestly I wanted to keep our little night locked in a box with a key only Draco and I held in our minds. But I knew my best friends wouldn't settle for that, let alone the fact that Draco asked me to be exclusive with him now. I had in two minds that maybe Blaise would have known, then again, who am I to know how deeply Draco and him talk.
"Well...Draco and I had a really good night actually." I tried to hide the massive smile that was growing on my face and shoved some toast that was burnt to a crisp in my mouth. I bet the kitchen elves were probably taking out their labour on us. Hermione was still trying to push the whole SPEW movement on us.
"That's it?! A good night!" Pansy yelped with a disappointing stare.
"Well you can hear all about it from Draco's mouth." I hmmphed, and decided that maybe he should be the one to tell everyone, I didn't know how many people he wanted to tell about our little midnight ride considering the enemies he had tallied up, I wouldn't be surprised if someone overheard and reported us to Dumbledore.
"Ugh. Fine." Pansy conceded and glared at me anyways. She scanned the room for several minutes until she finally spotted Draco's silver hair across the crowd making his way over to us. Honestly I couldn't have felt more tired and exhausted from last night, yet he looked like he'd slept for a week straight, fresh out of a bath with his perfectly pristine clothes. I glanced down at my comfortable leggings and oversized hoodie and thought maybe I was the lesser of the two. No doubt Draco had too many enemies to count, but he was also the stock standard bad boy type that most girls in my house swooned over, and I could totally believe that they would snap me up and feed me to the sharks at any moment, especially now more than ever. I sure as hell was glad at that point that Angel was still in the hospital wing.
I watched as he stomped heavily over as he always does, his simple stride attracting the stares of most students anyways. Most out of fear, and some out of adoration, which I never really understood, but here I was...dating him. I turned back to Pansy who was now frowning towards the entrance, and followed her gaze to where Draco had stopped in his tracks to converse with a girl I couldn't seem to recognise.
"Is that Lola? My god, she's back." Pansy let out, her eyes widening. Lola. I knew the name and my heart sunk a little.
"Holy shit. Didn't she do 2 years in Norwich?" Blaise responded.
"Yeah. On some kind of transfer. Apparently she specialised in classes for animal care, the type that they have over there." Pansy stood slightly to get a better view.
My thoughts wandered, my heart beat increasing as I watched Draco reach an arm up and follow her to a seat at the table.
"Who cares why P. She's back."
"I don't really remember her." I blurted from my mouth, my tone sounding more venomous than I intended.
"Are you sure? Cause I find it hard to believe anyone can forget a girl that looks like that." Blaise chuckled and Pansy smacked him on the arm, his bread flying from his hand and sailing across the table.
"God do you guys only think with your dicks!" She scolded and I turned my attention back, my gaze attempting to see over the sea of students.
"Calm down P." Blaise said lazily. "Go scold that tosspot sitting with her, they were pretty much dating at one point."
I didn't say anything, but I think my uncontrollable facial expressions were enough to shut Blaise up, since Pansy was burning holes in his skull with her eyes. I felt hot and stuffy, and uncomfortable even, all of a sudden. A strange kind of fire burned in my chest and in my head that I could only place as mere jealousy. I reeled my memories back to years ago, and trying to place a time that Draco was with her, maybe I just didn't pay much attention to him due to my pure hatred, but the more I thought about it the more images of Lola and her luscious blonde locks plastered in my head.
Calm down Macy. He's just sitting with her. My internal monologue was going crazy at this point, trying to convince myself it was nothing, because it probably was and he was probably just surprised to see her. I mean it wasn't like they would have broken up beca-
"Does it matter, they ended it because she moved away?" Blaise said sulkily, and it was enough for my brain and the wicked she devil inside me to snap. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from them at that point, and I wasn't sure if the sweet and considerate girl inside me cared really. I felt another kind of emotion wash over me, the kind that felt begrudging and bitter towards Lola and the way she swept up Draco with so much as a wave. Surely he would say something, I mean it almost seems like simple conversation. But the way she was dragging her hands down his arms and tussling her hair told me otherwise.
I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and my hands become stiff with annoyance.
"M?" I snapped my head back to Pansy who was clicking her fingers in my face.
"I'll be right back." The words spilled out before I could stop them, and in a second I was on my feet. My gaze squared in on the two of them as I made a beeline. My breathing quickened as I stopped behind a row of students, Dracos attention purely on Lola, his smile growing on his features as she placed a hand on his leg.
(SONG : JERK- OLIVER TREE)
I felt sick, physically sick, like I was going to hurl out my insides at any moment. But more so I felt angry, angry that Draco was doing absolutely nothing to stop her and her wandering hands. Clearly I had not even crossed his mind considering that he hadn't even realised me standing their like a sad puppy dog. I took another step forward, fury growing inside me, and then I froze. Stiff as I watched in high def as he reached forward with a delicate hand and tucked a stray piece of her bright hair behind her ear, she blushed as he held her stare for just a moment, and I knew that smile. That gaze. Those ocean eyes that could hold you captive so easily. And he was doing it now. With her.
I cleared my throat as I stepped into their space. Both their heads whipping towards me in what looked like surprise. Draco dropped his hand instantly, the other one running through his hair. God I could smell him from here and it was not doing wonders for the wounded heart inside me. Lola stared at me blankly, albeit not removing her hand from Draco's leg, he straightened up and took in a breath. He didn't look mad, nor happy to see me. Blaise was right, she was stunning, which only made me feel worse about how horrid and crazy I probably looked.
"Lola." He started. "This is Macy, uh- my friend. You remember Lola M. She left a couple years ago?"
My heart dropped to my feet, my head swirling with embarrassment and humiliation, as I blinked down at Draco, no doubt a glare in my features. I quickly composed myself, not wanting the anger and hurt to spread on my face in front of a crowd of students. I looked at him again, but he seemed completely complacent, and retired to the fact that he knew he just lied and didn't care anyways. Like last night meant nothing to him, like I meant nothing to him.
I forced a smile onto my face, I'm sure fuelled by the anger which was no overriding the pain.
"Hmm Lola, doesn't ring a bell." I looked in her direction, Draco stiffening in his seat. "Sorry. It's hard to keep track of all the girls that Malfoy here likes to fuck. I think you would have lied in around...i dont know, maybe 113th girl? I wouldn't know the number now, it's been years right?"
Both of their eyes widened as the exchanges glances, and honestly even with all my Draco insulting experience, I felt worse than I did before. I felt stupid, hurt, embarrassed and angry. Draco clenched his jaw, contemplating wether to retaliate or not. A grimace growing on his features. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, so I turned on my heel and stomped from the dining hall, wiping the furious tears that welled at my eyes. At that moment I was too angry to be hurt, and that felt better then. I turned the corner down the hallway, footsteps echoing well behind me.
"Macia!" I heard Draco growl, and turned to see him just stop short of the entrance to the hallway. If I ran, I could probably lose him. I had never felt so much hurt or anger caused by him, not the years of bullying or torment, not any of the rude remarks or shitty pranks. No this was worse.
I yelped as I ran head first into a chest of black. My nose smacking their front. I knew that smell. And I knew the familiarity of the hands that grasped my sides.
"Macy. Are you okay?"
Hal's green eyes burned into mine with concern, as I watched him glance from me and behind to where I'm sure Draco was now fuming.
"Hal." I breathed.
"What happened ?" He let out quickly and I grasped his arms, the rage and fire still burning out all the feelings I thought I knew and trusted about Draco, and in that second my mind flashed with an idea I knew I would so horribly regret later, even though it would make me feel better now.
"Hal. Kiss me."
His eyes grew with surprise.
"What?" He looked down at me and back to Draco.
"Kiss me." I pressed, and he swallowed. I blinked up at him, and he shut his eyes for a moment before giving me a small nod. In a heartbeat, Hal's lips were on mine, and his hands circled my waist as he pulled me in for what felt like a kiss filled with emotion. I kissed him back, although a pit formed in my stomach that told me this just didn't feel right. It didn't feel right at all.
I pulled apart and Hal's face was full of disappointment. A muscled feathered in his jaw as he glanced back over behind me.
He swung an arm up to gesture and I followed his gaze.
"He's gone. Mission complete." He muttered as I turned back to indeed see the hallway empty. Not a doubt in my mind told me Draco was absolutely enraged, but at that point, I had realised just what I had done. And not to Draco. But to Hal.
"Hal-."
"Don't M." He said softly, shaking his head with such despair in his eyes I couldn't catch his gaze. "Do me favour okay, stop playing with my emotions." He whispered, and my chest fealty heavy again. The guilt washed over me with heavy crashes of regret. Seeing Hal so torn and me knowing just how he felt about me and using him like that. I felt disgusting and horrible, I felt for the first time what it feels to do the things Draco does, and that was not the person I wanted to be.
"I'm sorry." I breathed, but he held a hand up, and pressed his mouth into a line.
"Save it Macy. I don't want to hear it right now." And he stepped aside and continued on down the hallway.