Chapter 53: Nim's Dark Secret
"It was midsummer thirty years ago and I was hunting in the woods near West Harbor," Nimbrethil began and then stopped when Bishop gave her a funny look. "What?"
"I had forgotten how much older you are," Bishop shrugged. "So this happened before I was even born and you've kept it to yourself all this time?" Seeing her nod he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have to live with the memories he had for that long and shivered. "I'm glad I'm not an elf."
"Yes, the long memories of elves are both a blessing and a curse," she told him. Seeing his puzzled expression she explained. "Barring death in battle, I can expect to live for at least 500 years, if not longer. We can recall any moment in our lives, if we wish, both the good and the bad, and these memories don't fade with time like they do for others. Imagine being able to recall perfectly the way you felt after your first kiss, even if say 300 years had passed. The same is true for events like what happened that summer."
"Is that what those memories Sand suppressed were like?" he asked, feeling horror creep up inside him.
"No. Becuase of how young I was, the memories are not as clear and sharp," Nimbrethil stared off into the distance for a while. "I was still techinically a baby when it happened even though I was about five in physical years."
"Duncan said he remembers your mother, so he must be much older than he looks," Bishop smirked.
"Duncan is a half-elf," she replied. "They don't get the long lifespan of the elves but do live longer and age slower than humans. I believe Duncan to be somewhere around 100 years old or so, and he can be expected to live to age 200 easily. To humans they are an elf, to elves they are human. Many of them are loners and outcasts, not reallly belonging anywhere. It is one of the reasons an elven-human pairing rarely occurs, for any children born of such a union are constantly at odds within either society. But," she raised a hand to forestall any more questions, "we're getting off track here."
Bishop nodded. "One more question though," he said. "How do you deal with the bad memories if you can't forget them?"
"You learn to lock them away in your subconscious mind," Nimbrethil answered. "They cease to have any affect on your day to day life, but sometimes things occur that brings the memory back. They are more likely to come back when we sleep, for that is when the barrier between the conscious and subconscious is weakest."
"That's what your nightmares are about then?" he asked quietly.
"It is one of the causes yes, though there are others," she answered just as quietly. "I believe that is why Daeghun is the way he is. He spent his youth adventuring and watched many of his companions die. After a while, if there are too many bad memories, you get so used to locking them away that it becomes impossible to be open anymore. Sand is even older than Daeghun and he worked for Luskan. I can only imagine what haunts his sleep." She sat quietly pondering that for a few moments.
"So what did happen that summer?" Bishop finally prodded her to continue her story.
"During the spring and summer months Daeghun would travel to other villages and merchants," she continued. "He would see if there was anything needed and gather what news there might be. You see, he was an excellent hunter and highly sought after when special items such as bear pelts or deer hides were needed. The value of these items is determined by the condition they are in when received, and Daeghun was particular skilled at collecting them without damage. I usually went with him on these trips, but that summer I didn't feel like it, so I stayed home and spent the time improving my own skills. I was out hunting rabbit one day when I stumbled upon the carcass of a wolf that was missing its pelt. At first I thought it had died of natural causes and someone had found it and taken the pelt. Upon closer inspection I saw a wire snare around its neck, embedded deep in its throat. That's when I knew that someone had killed it specifically for its pelt. I felt anger shoot through me at the senseless killing of the animal."
"Wait, you said that Daeghun hunted animals for their hides at the request of merchants," Bishop interrupted. "That didn't upset you, but this did?"
"Let me explain," Nimbrethil held up a hand to settle him. "When Daeghun and I hunt animals like that, we don't just do it for their hide, that is only what we give the merchant. We have uses for every part of the animal, the most obvious one being the meat, which we cure, smoke and store away for the winter months. In his home village, the wild elves prize jewelry made from the teeth, hooves, and paws of animals. The guts of the animals can be used to make stringed instruments. The larger bones are burned, along with the offal, and then ground up to be mixed with other materials, making an excellent mulch for fertilizing gardens. In other words, very little of the animals we hunt is discarded. Plus, we only take what is absolutely necessary to fulfill the order. Usually 3 or 4 animals is all that is needed."
"I see," Bishop was impressed and it showed. "I never gave a thought to what happens to the rest of the animal when people hunt them. I'm guessing though that this wasn't the case here."
"No it wasn't," she growled as the anger she had felt came rushing back. "The animal had been dead too long for what was left to be of any use, so I left it for the scavengers. The next day I found another wolf and knew that some human was poaching in my woods."
"How could you know it was a human, and not another elf?" Bishop protested.
"First off, I knew that there were no other elves in my neck of the woods, but I knew that humas from nearby villages often hunted there. Also, of all the races, it is humans that usually have so little respect for nature that they take what they want and leave the rest to rot," she snorted. "As a whole, the human race is arrogant and destructive. The only elves I know of that can match humans in wickedness are the drow. These two races take what they want, when they want, with little regard for how it might hurt or inconvenience others. Wood elves, wild elves, and others who depend on the wilderness for their survival take only what they need and always with a regard for the time of year. For example, wolves mate in winter with the cubs being born in the spring. These cubs are not old enough or strong enough to survive on their own until at least the fall. That means that we don't hunt wolves until at least that time of year. Hunting them in midsummer puts the pups at risk which puts the wolf population at risk. Wolves eat deer and rabbit mostly and keep those populations under control. Nature is a delicately balanced thing and wanton destruction of any part of it endangers the whole. Druids, even more so than forest rangers, strive to maintain that balance for our survival depends on it."
"So you were angry not only because of the waste of the animal but because it threatened your way of life," Bishop stated.
"Yes and it is what led me to do what I did," Nimbrethil replied. "I found a total of six carcasses: two young males, three young females, and and older male. I started following the trail of death and on the fourth day found the camp of the hunter. My father probably could have found him sooner, but I was still learning my craft," she told him. "I saw him there in his camp, a lone human hunter, sitting at his fire drinking and laughing to himself about how rich he was going to be from selling the pelts. I felt the anger inside me burn hotter at his audacity to come into my woods and take what he wanted so he could make himself rich. So I moved back into the woods to wait a while until he had had a little more to drink. The fool thought that he was the only one around so he was not on his guard and easy prey for someone like me."
"That's twice now that you said my woods but you don't own them really," Bishop pointed out.
"I don't mean it in the way you're thinking," she replied. "They are my woods in that they are where I acquire the things I need. That means that I also have a responsibility to care for them and protect them from such threats." She waited to see if he wanted to say anything else and then continued the tale. "So I decided to set a trap for the hunter and then lure him into it. Having been around nature all my life, I learned to mimic it in such a way that he thought he was chasing a deer. Having been drinking and being careless of where he stepped, he was easily caught in the net I had made of vines and covered with leaves. I watched for a while in the shadows as he yelled and tried to escape. But Deaghun had taught me well and I knew he was doomed to fail. When I finally entered the clearing and he saw me, he called out for me to help him. I took great pleasure in disabusing him of that notion," she snickered.
Bishop saw the anger in her eyes and heard the disdain in her voice and shivered. He knew he was seeing what that hunter had seen that day and it was chilling. "When did he realize that you were responsible for his predicament?"
"It didn't take long at all for him to realize it, despite the amount he had to drink," she laughed darkly. "I cut the rope that held the trap off the ground and then dragged him back to his camp. Once there I pointed at each of the pelts he collected and told him he was going to pay in blood for each wolf he had killed. He started swearing and cursing at me, calling me all kinds of horrible names. After a while he stopped and then began begging for mercy," she said derisively. "I said to him, 'I will show you the same mercy you showed these animals'. All the blood drained from his face and he began to sob and beg some more. It was pathetic really," she snorted.
"What did you do to him?" Bishop whispered through dry lips.
"I bound him hand and foot and then strung him from a stout tree limb," she continued. "Then I sat down next to the fire and got out my skinning knife to sharpen it. I had planned to just kill him and then leave his body where it could be found with a note attached to warn others of the penalty for poaching in the area. I was merely sharpening the knife to terrify him, to try to make him feel some of what those wolves felt when he trapped them."
"You said that's what you had planned?" Bishop asked quietly, not sure now if he really wanted to know.
"Yes," she nodded. "As I sat there the woods suddenly fell quiet. Even the hunter fell silent at how still the trees around us became, for the wind had died completely. I heard the rustle in the bushes long before the hunter and jumped to my feet, bow at the ready. Then, as I stood tensed and waiting, the most beautiful white stag I had ever seen stepped into the light of the fire. I lowered my bow, more in surprise than anything else. Then a she wolf and two pups appeared beside the stag and I knew that something special was taking place," she said softly, a note of reverence in her voice. "Then the stag spoke to me in my mind and I fell to my knees."
"What did it say?" Bishop asked. He could see and hear the wonder in her eyes and voice and a little tingle ran up his spine.
"The stag was no ordinary animal," she told him. "It was the embodiment of the god. 'I am Solonor Thelandira, daughter of West Harbor. I have watched you these many years and know that you follow my ways even though you know me not. You honor me by honoring the woods you hunt. The she wolf with me is the mate of the older wolf this man has killed. She asks for vengeance from me and so I ask it from you. Make his punishment fit his crime.' I suddenly felt light headed at this, for even though I knew of the different gods, I hadn't yet decided whom to follow. Daeghun followed Rillifane, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do so as well. I knew what Solonor wanted from me but I was unsure if I could do it."
"Are you saying that Solonor asked you to what, skin the man?" Bishop asked incredulously. "You really think it was Solonor who told you to do this?"
"I know you choose not to believe in the gods Bishop," she said sharply. "I can even understand how you came to believe that they don't really exist for there was very little in your life to show you otherwise. But they are real and they do reveal themselves from time to time."
Bishop heard the cold anger in her voice, directed at him this time, and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, please go on," he said softly as he looked away.
"Solonor saw my doubt and spoke again," she continued. " 'Let my anger fill you, use my strength for this task. Give us the vengeance we require and you will have my favor for life. With my help you will become unmatched in the arts of hunting, archery, and hiding, to the point where you will surpass even your foster father someday. Take the human's hide and let him feel the pain he caused before he dies.' "
Bishop paled and whispered, "You skinned him alive?" When he saw her nod he felt his stomach churn. She had been right that what she had done was not worse than what he had done, but it was almost as bad.
"I could smell the man's fear and saw the terror in his eyes as he realized what was going to happen," she said quietly, the haunted look once more in his eyes. "I did what was asked of me as Solonor watched. I closed my ears to the man's screams, basically shutting myself off and concentrating on the task at hand. When it was over, Solonor told me to take his body to where others would find it. Before I did though, Solonor left his mark on it so those who found the body would know by whose order it had been done. When I returned to the camp, Solonor was waiting for me. He told me to burn everything that was there before I returned home. Before he left me he gave me a symbol of his favor to carry with me. He told me that whenever I needed his help to call upon him and it would be granted. Then he disappeared and the woods returned to normal. The she wolf was still there and nodded at me before turning to leave. One of the two pups though ran over to me and jumped into my arms to lick my face before following his mother," she smiled slightly at the memory. "Since that day I have followed Solonor. I noticed the change almost immediately, for my accuracy when I hunted or practiced shooting at targets was better than it had been. Even Daeghun noticed the change, but didn't ask me how it came about. He merely nodded when I said I had been practicing harder and left it at that. It was not until some years later that we discussed the different gods again and I told him I had chosen to follow Solonor. Even then, I didn't tell him the why or the how of it. I had managed to shut the memory away and refused to dwell on it." She fell silent, staring at the ground as the memory of that summer washed over her again.
"This symbol you say he gave you, may I see it?" Bishop asked after a while.
Nimbrethil opened a hidden compartment on her belt and pulled out the amulet and handed it to him. She knew he had a hard time to believe and hoped that in time he would realize how wrong he was. But it was hard for people to change and she didn't expect it to happen right away, if at all. "As you can see it is oak wood, and is carved with a silver arrow with green fletching, his symbol."
As Bishop took it he felt a tingle go up his arm and the amulet seemed to hum faintly with some kind of power. It was obviously enchanted and it looked very old. Suddenly a desire to believe welled up in him, but he forced it down. Nim could believe in this all she wanted, but one amulet was not proof. "I don't know what to think about what you told me. But I know that you did what you felt was right and necessary. Who am I to judge your actions? If you tell me that you were following the orders of the god you follow then I believe you. At least I know how you can understand that sometimes we do things not because we want to but because we have no other choice."
"Since that day, there have been other instances where I was called upon to perform a task, but none of them were as haunting as that one," she told him. "Maybe some day you will have seen enough to believe in the gods again. Solonor is an elven god, but he does occasionally accept humans as followers too. You are a ranger and a hunter, exactly the type of follower he looks for. Be warned though, the gods do not go out of their way to show you they exist. You have to be open to the fact that they do exist and be alert for signs they might give you."
Bishop nodded but in his heart he doubted the truth of her words. He didn't doubt her, but never in his life had he seen any kind of favor from any god or goddess. He never took anything on trust or faith for that led to disappointment in the end. "Thank you for telling me," he said simply and gave her a little smile. As he watched, she closed her eyes like she was meditating. When she opened them again he saw the haunted look and the anger were gone from them. "You just shut the memory away again didn't you?" he asked and saw her nod. "I wish I could do that sometimes," he muttered darkly.
"I could teach you, for it is not something that only elves can do," Nimbrethil told him and laughed at his look of surprise. "It is simply a mental skill that anyone can learn to do if they want to. Elves have to learn it otherwise our heads would be a minefield too dangereous to wander into."
"Yeah, if you think I can learn it, I would certainly like to try," he replied. "Perhaps now?"
"No, for it is already getting late and we need to get back," she answered and got to her feet. "Let's go, I have to have that talk with Duncan and then I'll have to decided what to do about the others."
Bishop thought about the story she told and then about what she might say to Duncan. He shivered a little and was suddenly very glad that he wasn't on her shit list. He could almost feel sorry for the others, but they deserved everything that was coming to them. They had put themselves above everyone else and now they would reap the rewards of what they sowed and he had a feeling they weren't going to like it. He didn't think they were going to like it at all and suppressed a snicker before hurrying to catch up with the elf. She never ceased to surprise him with what she knew or what she was capable of. He was glad they talked for they had gained a much better understanding of each other. Though why that was important to him he wasn't sure. As he fell into step beside her she gave him a smile and he felt his heart turn over a little. Returning her smile, he grabbed her hand and together they returned to the Flagon.