14. HOPES AND FEARS.

Killian had walked so much that he thought he'd end up digging a tunnel, but he just couldn't stop. Who would? How he'd felt before receiving the news was nothing compared with how he was feeling then. In ten minutes, his frustration had risen until reaching levels he didn't even know a person could feel. Frustration for not being with Aurora, for not knowing how she was and, when he thought about how she could be, his desperation grew: she was surely alone and more scared than he was, and maybe her health problems, which now could be named pregnancy symptoms, were bothering her again. How desperately he wanted to help her to deal with them, maybe he wouldn't be a great help, but he'd be there, doing his best to comfort her, to spoil her as much as he could, as a princess like her deserved. And the Netherworld issue... he got goosebumps when he thought about what would happen if she traveled there again and there wasn't anyone to wake her up. How would it affect her? How would it affect (or had already affected, which scared him more) the baby? The baby... he wasn't very sure about how he felt about becoming a father. He'd never thought about having his own child, the most close to that thought had been when he'd found Baelfire in Neverland and he wasn't even his biological son. Moreover, he was fourteen, so the difference between him and... 'and mine' he thought, was huge. He couldn't deny being afraid of that perspective, but, although there had been only ten minutes since he'd discovered the existence of that little being and his body was filled with fear, he'd already developed an instinct of protection towards him/her. He knew he'd do whatever it took to protect the only reason to live he had: Aurora and now the baby too. His family, the one he'd thought he would never have.

He had to do something, but what? He was unable to think clearly. All he could do was waiting, but he wasn't the kind of man made to wait until a solution to his problem came to him. No, he was made to act, and being like that, like a locked animal, made his anxiety rise together with the frustration.

'She'll be fine' he tried to calm himself 'the brother is an idiot, but he seems to care'. It was useless. He kept walking furiously in circles, with his desperation as his only companion.

.

"Snow!" he called her just a second after seeing her taking care of the trees, near her castle's door.

"Jour" she whispered, leaving her gardening tools and walking towards the young man who was approaching her too. She'd been really surprised when she'd met him in Storybrooke months before and found out who he was, but she'd assumed the role of being his guide, specially with those issues concerning his kingdom. He was so untrained (and their respective kingdoms were next to each other) that they'd developed a good relationship.

"A queen taking care of the garden?! he asked.

"What can I say? I'm an unusual queen" she laughed."So, what can I do for you?"

"I need a big favour" he answered with a sparkle in his eyes. "Could you or David take care of my people while I'm away?"

"Where are you going?" then, she seemed to understand "You know something about your sister, don't you?"

"Yes" he smiled widely "Well, it's not much. I don't know where she is now but prince Eric has to know something."

"Eric? Why would he?" she asked.

"It's a long story, I promise to tell you later, but I have to go and look for her personally. If you help me..."

"Of course we'll do it." she said with an encouraging smile.

"I owe you" he replied, really grateful.

"You don't owe us anything. Just tell us when you find her. By the way, what will you do when it happens?"

"You'd say if I find her..." he thought she'd made a mistake.

"No, I know you'll find each other." She corrected him, who looked at her without understanding. "Believe me." he nodded.

"I don't know what I'll do. I think I'll be so overwhelmed... and about..." he hesitated "well, If what it's said is true, maybe I'll give him an opportunity."

"Deep down, he's a good man" she made a pause "Come with me, we have to arrange everything" she took Jour's arm and leaded him inside the castle.

.

The letter was longer than he'd expected. Jour hadn't been able to help telling Snow everything that crossed his mind on that stressful morning. With a sigh, he tied the paper to the pigeon's leg and watched how the bird flew towards the horizon. He returned to the castle and went straight to his sister's apartment.

Aurora was in her usual position, sitting on the bed and staring at the landscape she could see through the window. She didn't even look at her brother when he came into the room. Her mind was too busy processing everything which had happened in the last hour. She was trying her best to look calm, but she was terrified. Becoming a mother was scary enough, but, moreover, that wouldn't be a normal pregnancy: the doctor had told her that, after having checked her and taking into account everything that she'd been through (specially the Netherworld), it was almost a miracle that she hadn't had a miscarriage ('But is the baby fine?' she'd asked, feeling a kind of fear she'd never experienced before,'It seems so' had been the answer) and the (quite high) risks of having one were still there, so she had to follow all the doctor's guidelines if she wanted her child to live. And being alone made it even more complicated. She wondered if someone had told Killian (probably not) and if the new situation would make that stupid king and her brother think twice about their love.

Jour broke the silence:

"How are you?" he asked.

"What do you think?" was her cold answer. She was upset with him because of his attitude towards Killian.

"Aurora, I know this is hard but..."

"You have no idea." she interrupted him. He didn't insist and changed the subject.

"William has agreed to let you stay here until travelling is safe enough for you. I'll stay with you as well, to take care of you."

"Thanks, but I don't need it. Believe it or not I can take care of myself."

"Aurora, I do care, you're my sister and I love you. After all these years, do you want our reunion to be like this?" she noticed the desperation in his voice.

"Of course I don't" tears started to fill her eyes. "But why don't you want to help us? Killian's a good person, believe me. He compensated what he'd done in the past and hasn't done anything after that."

"There are things about pirates you don't understand."

"I understand more than you think... and he's not a pirate anymore."

"A pirate will always be a pirate... and now that I've found you, I don't want you to be in danger because of him."

"If you gave him an opportunity..."

"You won't leave the subject so easily, will you?"

"I'll leave it when you understand" she answered very firmly.

"Save your energies for someone more important." he said, looking at her stomach. "Have you eaten everything?"

"I have" she answered, showing him the empty dish. "It has taken me almost an hour but I've done it." her brother smiled.

"Well done."

"You behave as if you were the older twin." she said.

"I'm just taking care of you."

In that moment, she realized that she couldn't be mad at him. He was her long-lost brother and, now that they'd found each other, she wanted their relationship to be the same as when they were little. Of course she knew that he cared about her, but she needed him to change his mind as far as her relationship with Killian was concerned. She had to do something to make it happen, but what? She felt lost and just wanted to be with Hook again, to be free. Why was it so difficult to understand?

"I know. But, Jour, if you want me to get better..." she tried again.

"You'll get better when you rest and..."

"You know what I'm talking about" she replied. "He can't be locked up, that's ridiculous."

"Aurora..." he warned her. "Not again."

"At least, if you know something, tell me how he is."

"I didn't see anything special when I saw him." maybe he shouldn't have said that.

"Jour, what do you mean? Have you seen him, have you talked to him and haven't told me anything?"

"Well, it was a short talk after all. Nothing important."

"What did you tell him?" she insisted. He wanted to leave the subject, but he had to know that she didn't. Of course not. "Didn't you let him explain?"

"I just gave him the news." he answered looking through the window.

"So he knows" She whispered. She didn't want to imagine how he was. Alone in the dark and knowing that. The worry about him filled her body. "Change the subject" she said, breathing heavily "because if you don't, I'll punch you." He gave her an incredulous look. "What? you don't know what I'm able to do now."

"And you still don't know where I have been all these years." he replied. She shook her head. With all the events of the day, she'd totally forgotten all the questions she wanted to ask him.

"Why?" was the only word she could articulate.

"Maleficent wanted to kill me." he started. "I don't know exactly what made our parents do it, but they decided to fake my death and hide me with a woodcutter's family as if I were one of his sons. I've lived in a cottage in the middle of a forest. You know the queen of that place, Snow White."

"Snow? Have you talked to her?" she couldn't help asking.

"Yes, I have. She's taking care of our kingdom right now. But I'll explain you that when the moment comes. I grew up as a happy boy, but I never forgot you. When our parents died... well, I don't want you to think about that now... no stress, remeber?"

"Continue" she said.

"And then the curse came and I became John Cyrus, a simple teacher. When I regained my memories I looked for you, but you weren't anywhere. I was so worried..." he made a pause, thinking about the best words to follow with "well, you don't know what happened in Storybrooke after the curse was broken, so I'll get down to business. I discovered Snow'd been with you here, but I didn't have the opportunity to speak to her until she came back from Neverland... with two people I'd never seen... and without you. Then, I told her who I am and she told me that she didn't know where you were, that you and... the pirate separated from the group. I spoke with Phillip too." the room remained silent for a moment "But, as the only member of the family there, I had to take on the throne and think about our people."

"Speaking about our people, how much survived and why?"

"Well... there are just a few families. They were in another kingdoms when everything happened and as long as there are people who want to live there, the kingdom will last."

"Wow, you speak like a king" he smiled, and continued:

"When everything was ready, we came back here and I started to look for you again. I had no idea about where you were, so I sent men to all the kingdoms. One of them saw you in King Nicholas' one, but when they were going to contact you, you were gone. Then, you returned and disappeared again. I'd gone to look for you there personally when I received the message."

"And what's Snow's role in this?"

"She and her family have been supporting me since the beginning. I trust them. They've taught me and helped me a lot. They asked me to tell them when I found you."

"And have you?"

"Of course. I've just sent a letter to Snow telling her everything. They surely want to see you."

"Aren't they mad at me?" she asked, a little light of hope starting to shine on her mind. If they had forgiven them, they maybe they would help them. Snow and Charming always did the correct thing.

"Of course they're not." she seemed lost in her thoughts, so he decided to end with the conversation. "You must rest now... and so I do." he kissed her forehead. "You'd better take a nap." she nodded. He smiled to her and left the room.

.

A month had passed. A month without seeing each other, without knowing what would happen to Killian. They had no news. Aurora missed him terribly and wished so desperately he would be there with her (with them), to scape, to return to the Jolly Roger and start again far away from that damn kingdom and from a world that seemed unable to understand their love. At least, she had a new hope: Snow, after the last time they'd seen each other, seemed to have understood and was going to help them. She would appear in one of those days. A couple of weeks before, Jour had received a letter from Snow which also contained a note for her: 'Dear Aurora, I'm going there as soon as I can. Maybe Emma will be able to come with me. Take care of yourself and don't worry about anything but you and your baby, we'll solve this.'
That wasn't the only letter she'd received: on those days, Eric had sent his own one too: 'It's all my fault. If I had known the king was so paranoid about pirates I would've never sent you there. I'll send a message to my father and I'll go to see you as soon as I can'. And, again, it ended with a 'Take care'

Her health had improved: she didn't travel to the Netherworld anymore and felt less weak or tired, but, in spite of having passed her first trimester, the risks were still there, although that little thing seemed to fight for its life as much as it could. It reminded her of its father. She was still terrified, but had started to feel happy too and to imagine how the baby would be. If only Killian could be there... she'd tried to convince her brother many times, but he'd change the subject immediately or pretend that he had to go.

Because of that improvement, she was now allowed to take little walks in the gardens. After being shut in for many weeks, it was the best part of the day and her brother was always with her then. During one of those walks, when they were returning inside the castle, they saw a dust cloud in the horizon. After staring at it for some minutes, they discovered that it was caused by a man who, riding his horse, was cantering straight to the castle.

She would have recognized that horse and the man who was riding it in any part of the world. He was Phillip.