Day 8 –Tony's Workshop
I woke up on a couch. For a moment, I didn't know where I was, but the memories came back to me in a downpour of information-hope…pain….love….I love Tony….with a gasp of pain I remembered. I loved Tony Stark, and he was still gone. I rolled over, tears running down my face silently. I had no energy to scream, as I wanted to, so I endured the pain of loving him-sob-and knowing he was still gone from me. I wanted to have all my things down here with me. I would stay here, in the workshop, surrounded by my good memories of him and endure. Endure the pain until he returned.
"God, Pepper. You look horrible."
I gasped in pain and recognition at that voice. His voice. I turned toward it. And there, in all his glory, stood Tony Stark. The immediate joy running through my veins, such a contrast to my familiar pain, was so strong; my energy came back ten-fold. I stood up quickly.
"Tony! But-how-You were supposed to be captured, in a cave in Afghanistan!"
He smirked.
"Really? But as you can see, I'm right here."
I pondered this. There was only one viable solution. I was crazy.
"You're not real."
He frowned, his eyes puzzled.
"Not real? How can I be not real? I feel real."
I sighed.
"That's the problem. You-the real you-is in a cave in Afghanistan, b-being tortured…."
My eyes started to well up again with unshed tears. The knife of pain started to slice its way through my heart, which felt like it had already been shredded to microscopic pieces, which proved that he wasn't really back, because if he was, my heart would become whole again, smooth and unblemished.
The hallucination Tony moved toward me, stretched out to put a hand on my arm. I recoiled, tears starting to slip down my face. I looked down, missing the look of hurt and confusion crossing his face.
"You are a figment of my imagination, a hallucination. I finally snapped from the pain."
He looked concerned.
"Pain?"
"The pain of you, the real you, being gone, and not being able to see you every day, smiling, the possibility that you might not make it…it tears me up inside. It causes me more pain than you could ever imagine. The fact that I love you makes it even worse."
A small smile crossed his face as I looked at him.
"You love me?"
I smiled back. It hurt.
"Yes, I do."
He laughed. I looked at him, a mixture of joy and anguish rushing through me. The tears still ran down my face.
"Since you love me, will you do me a favor?"
I looked at him.
"Anything."
Even though I knew it was a hallucination, it still acted like Tony, so why not?
"Kiss me."
I looked at him, but he was perfectly serious. He really wanted me to kiss him.
"Okay."
He leaned forward, and as he did, I could smell sandalwood, vanilla, and leather; the scent that was distinctly Tony. God, I had a really sick mind. Our lips met. They were as soft as I'd imagined. He kissed me softly, slowly. I traced his lower lip with the tip of my tongue. God it was so real! He pulled me in deeper; his warmth pressed against me, his scent caressing my nose….it was heaven.
When he pulled away, he smiled at me. Then he disappeared. I screamed as once more the pain took me.
Day 9- Tony's Workshop
I was afraid of seeing the hallucination again, but I stayed in the workshop. All of Tony's pillows that he had slept on, and the bedspread, were arranged on the couch. I slept in the workshop, working through the emails that had piled up about Tony's disappearance. I was in no state to call anyone, so I delegated the task to one of my staff, giving them information through email.
But once the necessary things were done that would last for a while, at least, I just curled up in Tony's bedspread and endured, wincing every once in a while as certain memories would hit me, and crying through it all.
Day 9-Rhodey's POV
I had decided to check on Pepper, to update her on what was going on with the search. As I came through the front door, I asked,
"Jarvis, where is Pepper?"
"She is downstairs in the workshop, Colonel Rhodes."
"I see. And how long has she been down there?"
"She has been there for 3 days, sir. The first night, she slept in Mr. Stark's bedroom."
Oh my God. This was worse than I thought.
"Thank you, Jarvis."
I went downstairs, pausing at the door to punch in my personal code. I could see Pepper sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a red blanket, with pillows all around her. When I moved closer, I recognized the bedclothes from Tony's bed. Oh God….
When I came around far enough to see her, I gasped. The normally polished red hair hung lank around her face, and she was pale, so pale, her face was sharp, angular, and she looked as if she had not been eating. But the most horrifying thing of all was her eyes. The bright blue was dull; the life was gone from them, as if she was dead. Tears slid down her face, never ceasing.
"Pepper?"
She looked at me. Her eyes were filled with pain, and anguish, her face impassive as she gazed at my face.
"Are you a hallucination too?"
She whispered, her voice, normally so bright, was hoarse, as if she hadn't talked in days.
"It must be, Rhodey can't be here, he's in Afghanistan, looking for-"
Her face crumpled, and she started to let out heart wrenching sobs, hugging one of the pillows to her. I moved toward her, and sat on the edge of the couch. She continued,
"You see, I must be crazy. The first hallucination was Tony. He talked to me like he really was him. It was so real. I explained that I went crazy from the pain, the grief, of him being gone, not knowing if he was coming back, of not seeing him, his face, his smile. I said that it tore me up inside. That the pain, the pain, was something you couldn't imagine. And that it was made all the worse because I loved him."
She cried harder, screaming slightly and shuddering.
"He- He smiled at me, than asked me for something, since I loved him. I agreed. He then asked me to-to-to kiss him. I thought why not? So I kissed him. It was wonderful. My mind is really sick, because I could smell him, his scent, and his lips were so soft- but when I pulled away, he was gone!"
She collapsed into herself, sobbing and screaming into the pillow. Her cries echoed in the room.
Yes, this was definitely worse than I thought.
I was frozen, horrified. I expected her to be worried out of her mind, and grief stricken, but this was bad. If Tony ever comes back, I will kill him for doing this to her.
A/N- new chappie! Hope you like. Will update soon, i promise. R&R, reviews are love! -K