So, I'm halfway through the story already and I'm still crawling at a snail's pace. Who thinks that I can be done in 10 chapters? *pause* Anybody? Nobody? Right. Time to kick this up a notch, don't ya think?
A Woman's Worth: Chapter Five
Elena's POV
"What's the deal with you and that Salvatore guy?"
The question startled me from my preoccupation of staring out the window for the last ten minutes in complete silence. Mason and I were in his car on our way back home from the hospital, neither of us in the mood to talk until his voice suddenly broke through the moment of peace, the only sound being the purr of his engine until now.
"Nothing, we're just friends, that's all," I replied carefully as I turned my head towards him. His lips were pressed into a hard line and a frown appeared on his forehead at my assessment of my newfound relationship with the man in question.
"You've known the guy for a week and now you're 'friends'?" Mason scoffed, shaking his head at me as if I was a young, naïve child who didn't know any better. Alright, maybe he had a point there in terms of the time frame to really know someone enough to consider them as friends, but I didn't get a bad vibe when I was around him. "I don't know what it is about him but I just don't trust the guy," he went on.
Of course not; he was accusing you of physically abusing me and wanted me to leave you. And, he taught me to throw a punch at your solar plexus so that you'd roll around on the ground a lot. "Why would you? You hardly even spoke two words to the guy," I said instead, preferring to ignore the fact that the feeling was mutual for Damon as well.
"And I don't need to talk to him to know that you shouldn't trust him either. What have you told him about what happened between us, huh? Did he ask?" His tone was suspicious as he threw a sideways glance at me, checking my reaction.
I shook my head hastily to put him at ease; I didn't want to create a scene after things were just getting back to normal again, especially within the confines of a moving vehicle. I didn't know why I was still feeling apprehensive about Mason and about our situation. I felt like I was walking on egg shells around him, waiting for him to lash out again. Then I reminded myself that he promised not to lose control like that again. He promised.
"He did ask but I didn't tell him anything. I mean, there was nothing to tell, right? It was an accident and you didn't mean to hurt me." It wasn't a question but more like a statement, one that I kept repeating to myself over and over again since my chest met the sharp edge of the console table. But saying it out loud then, somehow it didn't sound as convincing as it did in my head, but it apparently rang true for Mason.
"Yes, it was an accident and I'm glad that you've realized that," Mason agreed with a look of relief, reaching over to give my hand a quick squeeze before placing it back on the steering wheel. For a moment, I was completely distracted by my body's reaction to his brief touch; it was as if every nerve on my fingers was rejecting him and was about to fling his hand away when he lifted it. I didn't understand it, but I didn't have time to dwell on the possible reasons because he had continued talking while I was busy being distracted.
"….enough to know that he's bad news and that's why I think it's best if you never saw him again."
What? I didn't have to catch the beginning of that sentence to know that he was referring to Damon, but the thought of not seeing him again…it didn't sit well with me. He was the one who managed to lift my spirits and made me laugh while I was bedridden in the hospital. It was so easy with him, as if I'd known him for years rather than a week or so in reality. He was also the one who gave me the bear I was cuddling in my arms; Mr. Cuddles. I gazed down at the adorable stuffed toy and smiled to myself. It was amazing how much comfort and joy a little toy gave me, especially during the nights I would wake up from troubling dreams. He was my security blanket – of course I was talking about the bear, not…Damon.
Damon. Even thinking of his name made me warm up on the inside. I had come to expect his daily presence in my hospital room and actually found myself looking forward to it. He would appear at my doorway with a lopsided grin, and his crystal clear blue eyes would light up when he saw me every morning. Sometimes, Caroline would spend a few hours with us, laughing and playing silly childish board games, but other times, it would just be the two of us and we'd talk about anything under the sun. Anything, except for really personal stuff like his background and also, Mason. So, to think about not having that sort of bond and friendship again…I guess it was inevitable. I mean, I didn't even have his contact number.
"Yeah, I don't think I will see him again. He probably has other cases to attend to anyway," I said dully, shrugging my shoulders for emphasis that I didn't care either way, even if I did. Other than Caroline and Tyler, Damon had become my friend who was able to make me feel better about myself. I felt a twinge of loss when I realized that I would probably never see him again.
"Good, and while we're on the subject, I don't want you to see Caroline anymore, either. She's too much of a busybody, always insisting on sticking her nose in our business, and frankly I just can't stand her," Mason complained, much to my disappointment.
Fine, he had every right to expect me not to see Damon after witnessing our almost-embrace earlier, but to deny me my right to see my best friend? That was over the line! "Mason, you can't stop me from seeing Care, not when we're taking the same classes together and go to the same college. Besides, she saved my life, in case you've forgotten," I added indignantly, unable to believe my ears and his audacity to ban my only best friend from my life.
"How could I forget when she constantly reminds me of it every fucking day?" he bit out bitterly, his bad mood returning with a vengeance. "Whatever it is, Elena, go make a new friend - one that I'd approve."
Biting my tongue from a choice of snarky retorts, I returned my attention to the window, gripping Mr. Cuddles tightly as I stared unseeingly at the passing scenery.
Life went pretty much back to normal for the next few weeks at home. Well, normal as in fewer arguments, especially of the flying-off-into-rage variety. During the day, Mason would go to work while I resumed my classes and I'd stay home, worked on my assignments and keeping the house orderly while waiting for Mason to come home. When he does, we'd talk about any mundane matters we could think of except for the event that transpired on the evening of Caroline's birthday and the days I spent at Mystic Falls General that followed. We both pretended as if it never even happened.
To be fair, Mason was trying his best to be more patient as he kept to his promise to avoid alcohol altogether, while I tried to maintain peace by avoiding any mention of the two names that were constantly on my mind. I couldn't do anything about keeping in touch with Damon, but I really missed Caroline, to be honest. Sure, I'd see her during classes during the day and at times, I would humor her and have the occasional lunch with her and Ty. It was a conscious decision to pull back a little from her company, especially knowing that Tyler might inform Mason about how much time I had been spending with them after he made his feelings about Caroline very clear in the car that day. Mostly, I just wanted to avoid anything that could cause him to be angry at me again.
Which was why I was stunned and a little apprehensive when she caught up to me after our last class on a Friday, linking her arm through mine as she flashed a beaming smile at me, her code for 'I've-got-a-huge-surprise-that-you-may-or-may-not-like'. I've known her long enough to expect the latter when it comes to her surprises.
"I know you're probably super busy being a Stepford housewife to that monster you live with, but I'm kidnapping you today," Caroline declared in her usual jovial manner, firmly steering me towards the side entrance of the campus.
Knowing that my efforts were probably futile, I had to put up a fight anyway. "Care, I can't do lunch today. I need to get home and do some laundry and update my grocery list," I protested weakly, not looking forward to another afternoon of dodging her incessant questions about Mason and his 'twitchy palms'. By the way, that was how I found out about her latest obsession; Christian Grey, Fifty and Shady, or whatever the hell the books were called. Apparently, it was the latest craze that was taking the world by storm, one violent sex scene at a time. As for me, I wasn't the sort to read a story about some old tycoon who gets his jollies by beating the crap out of women more than half his age, at least from what I could tell of the title. I was strictly against any form of causing deliberate pain to women, even fictional ones.
"Oh God, Elena, since when did you get to be so boring?" my blonde friend questioned, rolling her eyes at me. Was I boring? I didn't even realize that I was. I guessed I just had enough excitement in my life to last me a lifetime. I liked boring; it was safer that way. "Come on, live a little! After all, you almost died over a month ago. You'd think that you would appreciate a little passion, a little adventure, and maybe even a little danger. Live on the edge…have lunch with us!"
Wait, what? "Us? Tyler's here?" I asked, looking around for her boyfriend to appear out of thin air as she dragged me towards the other end of the car park, where an unfamiliar car was waiting with its engine running.
"Not Tyler, but someone else who has been anxious to see you again," she said cryptically, and then I watched as the driver's side of the door opened, and out stepped the man whom I thought I'd never see again.
Damon.
Damon! He looked dashingly handsome, all decked out in his signature black shirt and jeans, with that perfectly fitted leather jacket adding to his already oozing sex appeal. I missed him, more than I cared to admit, but seeing him there, in the flesh, smiling broadly at me with a little twinkle in his eyes, I decided that Caroline was right; passion, adventure and a little danger was exactly what I needed right then.
Feeling a thousand times lighter than I ever felt before, I ran towards him.
Damon's POV
I must have been wearing a stupid grin on my face, but I didn't care because Elena was running towards me. Me! An enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders the moment I saw her with my own eyes, knowing that she was safe, and unhurt.
I had been worried sick about her the moment she disappeared from my sight at the hospital and it took me some time to stop pacing the length of my room, or Ric's living room, or Elijah's, waiting for news about her. Every time the phone rang, I jumped about a mile high, expecting to receive that dreaded phone call to inform me that she was hurt again or worse, dead. I was constantly hounding Elijah, calling him every so often if he had heard anything about Elena or Lockwood until he suggested that I asked her myself.
I couldn't call her because we never did exchange numbers, but I remembered that Blondie had left her contact with the hospital in case of emergencies, so I did some recon at Meredith's office. Okay, that was a fancy way of saying that I broke into her filing cabinet and pulled Elena's patient file out to get the number, but the point was that I finally had the means to find out how she was doing. So I called Blondie. Man, I had almost forgotten how the girl could talk my ear off, but finally, I got my answer; Elena was fine. She was spending less time with Blondie outside of college, but still, she was living, breathing and walking. After swearing her to secrecy about our phone conversation, I thanked her and hung up. Elena being safe was all I had to know.
Until a couple of days later. A lot could have happened in two days, and I had to satisfy my curiosity all over again, so I dialed Blondie's number again. Then again. And again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if Blondie had the wrong idea, that I was calling her to ask about Elena so often because I was secretly interested in her, but luckily, the blonde was only too happy to gossip about her friend. Turned out, she was as worried about Elena as I was, and since she couldn't talk about it with her own boyfriend - who got uptight and defensive whenever she even broached the subject of Mason and Elena - she was glad to be able to confide in me. In fact, she was the one who suggested this meeting, as a surprise for Elena, and I was only too happy to go along with her plan, as brilliant as all plans go.
So, there I was, standing beside my car, dressed to impress, waiting for the girl who had been in my mind every second of every day to hurtle into my arms as if we were long lost lovers, when I suddenly remembered the stupid, idiotic, uncross-able line that I wasn't supposed to cross with my 'charge'. So, just as she came within a foot from me, instead of opening my arms wide for a hug, I went for a handshake instead, which got her confused for a moment. We stood closely, awkwardly alternating between a handshake and an embrace and then I just decided to throw caution to the wind and leaned in with a light friendly peck on her cheek.
When I drew back, she was blushing all over and I wondered if I was as red as she was, judging from the heat that rose to my face. "Hey, beautiful stranger," I greeted softly, taking her in fully for the first time in weeks. She seemed different and yet the same. What was different was that she had color on her cheeks and she was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was still the same in the sense that she was still as thin and fragile looking as when I first met her. Well, at least she wasn't lying unconscious in a hospital somewhere.
"Damon," she breathed huskily, sending my carefully controlled emotions running wild. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me, and that was something, right? Perhaps she missed me, too. I wondered if she ever thought of me at all during the past few weeks. No, probably not. Why would she? "I've missed you," she said with a soft smile, and just like that, I was floored. Elena Gilbert freaking missed me! In. Your. Face, Lockwood!
"Me, too," I responded, feeling the burn in my cheeks as I kept grinning. My facial muscles were getting one heck of a workout but she just made me so ridiculously happy. And then another voice just snapped me out of the happy bubble I was in.
"Yay, me three! Glad that we're all back together again, like the Three Musketeers," Blondie chimed in as she wrapped me and Elena in an enthusiastic group hug. Three Musketeers? More like Three Stooges! I was just standing there awkwardly because of two reasons; first of all, I hadn't hugged Blondie before, and secondly, it brought Elena that much closer to me, with her arm around my waist and her scent invading my senses. I was already trying valiantly to maintain my professionalism with her, but now, with her body pressed to mine, and our arms around each other, it was all too much.
"Umm, let's all go for lunch, shall we?" I asked and quickly stepped back to reenter the driver side of my car, waiting for the girls to follow suit. As much as I would have liked to have some one-on-one time with Elena, I insisted that Blondie came along to act as chaperone because I didn't trust myself with her alone. The bond that we made during those one and a half weeks at the hospital was stronger than ever and that was precisely the problem. According to Ric, I had to care about her from afar. I knew it, my brain knew it, now I just had to convince my heart.
"I call shotgun!" Blondie yelled out and proceeded to skip and hop into the seat next to me, leaving Elena to take the back. Heaving a sigh of relief, I relaxed slightly and pulled out of the parking lot. I snuck numerous glimpses at the backseat, and at times, even meeting a pair of nervous brown eyes via the rearview mirror the entire journey as we headed to a quaint little family restaurant named 'Tony's' located at the edge of town.
By the time I pulled into a car park right in front of the restaurant, I had already memorized the shape and color of Elena's doe-like eyes. I don't remember it being that sizzling, our unexplainable connection during her stay at the hospital, but after a long time apart, it seemed to have grown exponentially to be not merely sizzling, but explosive. Crap, it didn't help to be confined in such a tight space either.
Hastily, I killed the engine and made a quick exit out of the car and made a beeline for the entrance of the restaurant, but the minute I walked in, I immediately regretted my choice of venue. The interior was dark with romantic lights with an old-fashioned jukebox at a corner that was playing some mood music, exactly the kind of place one would bring a girl to on a first date. I muttered a silent thank-you for Blondie's presence in an otherwise awkward situation I had somehow found myself in.
I waited until the girls had taken their seats opposite one another before I chose to take my place beside Blondie as Elena looked on with a puzzled expression. I watched her attempt to cover her disappointment by placing her bag on the empty chair beside her and then immediately burying her face behind the menu.
Okay, so it had suddenly become awkward between us, when it had been so easy and comfortable before. It was like I didn't even know how to talk to her anymore. What changed, I wondered. Oh, right; my stupid inappropriate crush on my charge. It was getting a bit too much, becoming a hassle to even start a decent conversation with her. I struggled to find a safe topic to start with, but I came up empty. Luckily, though, Elena saved the day.
"Oh right, I forgot to tell you that little Anna spoke to me," she said suddenly, her bright eyes peering over the top of the menu at me. My jaw must have dropped wide open or did some silly reaction because she giggled before she added, "Before I left the hospital, I went to say goodbye to her and gave her a hug, and then she talked!"
"You're kidding! What did she say?" I asked eagerly, my previous struggle with her disappearing completely following this latest development.
I didn't expect my question to stump her, but it did, causing her to frown slightly as if she had trouble recalling what a six-year old girl who hadn't spoken in months to suddenly start talking again. I spent so much time with Anna over a course of several months, even bought a scary redheaded doll for her, and I didn't even get so much as a peep out of her. Instead, my charge, who had seen the girl all of two times, had managed to charm Anna to the point where she started communicating? That was definitely the power of one Elena Gilbert.
"She said something about Mason, but I can't really remember what it was because I was too excited with the fact that she was talking again. That's a good breakthrough, right?" she asked, and I wasn't entirely sure if she was being intentionally vague or if she really was too distracted to hear properly. Either way, it was a major breakthrough and I was glad that it had happened on Elena's watch. A victim of abuse, choosing to connect with another…it had to have a positive effect, right?
The topic of Anna was exactly the ice-breaker that we needed to err…break the ice, so to speak. The rest of the lunch passed by smoothly after that, with Blondie joining in and contributing to the more comfortable atmosphere we had going on, like we had at the hospital. To anyone who was watching, we were just three friends who got along swimmingly, chatting and laughing about various topics while sharing a meal, but I was the only person who was aware that I was falling in love with one of them, and it was the one girl that I couldn't have.
* * * Abuse is a form of bullying * * *
We kept in touch after that first post-hospital 'date'. By the end of that highly enjoyable lunch, I had Elena's number and she had mine, so after a couple of days of practicing extreme self-control and trying to hold off from dialing her number, I gave in under the heading of 'concerned social worker'. What? I had a legitimate excuse – no, I had a legitimate reason for wanting to check up on her, since she was my charge and she was also, you know, pretty amazing, so I called her.
And we talked. It was epic.
In a way, it was a relief that I could have a one-on-one conversation with her without Blondie on another line, acting as a buffer because we connected on an even deeper level that way. No, we didn't have any phone sex or anything naughty like that; we just talked, about our hobbies, our family, our childhood – well, hers anyway, because I didn't really want to dredge up my past.
And then the next day, I was concerned again, so I texted her, and she replied, and then we had an amazing text messaging session instead. Over the course of the next two weeks, we had exchanged many phone calls and SMSes, even e-mails. I found myself constantly smiling like an idiot at my phone wherever I went, and also made the discovery that my iPhone battery didn't last as long as it used to. That was why I got into the habit of carrying around a charger with me; so that I would be ever ready for another one of our bonding sessions.
Our bonding wasn't limited to just mobile phone connections, though as we planned several outings together, with Blondie, of course. Only with Blondie around would I dare to meet Elena face-to-face. Otherwise, I'd probably stare at her a lot and drool. Or wrap my arms around her and never wanting to let go again. Or all of the above. She just brings out this protective and possessive side of me all the time.
The latest outing that we three went on was a visit to the hospital to see Anna. I had been visiting her on my own as often as I could, but of course, it wasn't as fun as when I had the two girls with me. It was always better when my dialogues aren't so one-sided, and so I appreciated the giggles in response to my jokes or the back-and-forth teasing when the girls sided with Anna to gang up against me. Being bullied by three girls has never been more enthusiastically received.
Even though Anna had been smiling and giggling throughout our visit, she never uttered a single word to us. I did notice, however, that she seemed to gravitate towards Elena more than even me. I supposed it was something the little girl could sense about Elena, a fellow victim of abuse just like her. It was adorable to see because Anna needed someone to look up to, and having Elena around would only help rather than to hinder.
As the three of us left the hospital, I offered to drive Elena home just to be polite, you know, but Caroline insisted to drive her, so I allowed it….this time. It didn't stop me from texting her all the way during the drive to meet Tweedle-Dee aka Elijah for some coffee. I didn't think that I'd ever wipe the ridiculously wide grin on my face until I received a phone call from the last person I expected to call with these dreaded words: "Elena's in trouble. There's been a murder. Hurry!"
Elena's POV
I knew the instant that I reached home that something was wrong - very wrong. I didn't know how to explain it but there was a weird vibe that I got. It could be my gut instinct sending warning bells to me or it could be a supernatural presence, the kind that makes your hair stand on ends, though I doubted that. The main thing that set me off was Mason's car out front. He was rarely home from work this early and it wasn't even after working hours yet. I was certain because I always made sure that I got home first before he does.
The house was quiet, too quiet, when I entered and I crept upstairs noiselessly in case Mason wasn't feeling well and was sound asleep in bed. The door to our room was closed, so I cautiously turned the knob and twisted it until the catch was released. When the door swung open, my heart thudded with fear when I saw his still figure sitting on the edge of a messy bed with a crumpled piece of paper in his hand. The room was a mess; paper bags and books strewn everywhere, pillows flung haphazardly, and the corner standing lamp lay broken on the floor. It looked as if a tornado had broken through the room, leaving nothing intact.
Frowning with confusion, I slowly approached him only to be frozen midway when his gaze snapped up to my face, his expression murderous. My first instinct was to run as fast as my legs could carry me, but my limbs wouldn't cooperate. Perhaps I was being silly; maybe he wasn't even angry at me. Maybe he received some bad news or a letter from a bank or something and he was just angry at them. Or maybe he got laid off by his company!
"Elena, would you care to explain why you lied to me?"
A shiver ran up my spine at his chilling tone, and I wondered if he had found out about my outings with Damon and Caroline somehow. I knew that he forbade me from seeing them again, but I didn't outright lie to him. I just withheld information, that's all. "W-what about?" I stammered, taking a cautious step back from his glowering look.
He didn't like that at all, as proven when he shot out of the bed and marched right up to me, waving the crumpled paper in front of my eyes. "This, Elena! I'm talking about you, lying to me about the person who gave you that fucking bear you're so fond of!" he yelled at me, throwing the paper at my face, making me flinch as my cheek felt the force behind his action. From the heavy feel of it, it was a card, not some piece of paper and it was now on the floor at my feet. "Pick it up and read it out loud."
With shaking hands, I slowly leaned over and reached down to retrieve the card, smoothing out the wrinkles as I did until I could make out the unfamiliar handwriting on the inside. "Dear Elena," I read with a trembling voice, "May this furry fella keep you company and provide you comfort during troubled times. Take good care of my little buddy aka Mr. Cuddles. Your friend, Damon."
I raised my head just in time to see Mason ripping the card out of my hands and tearing it to pieces before gaining on me, forcing me to retreat backwards. "So your friend was the one who gave you that precious little gift and you lied about it, huh? What else did you lie about? Have you been seeing him behind my back? Was that where you were just now? With him? Tell me the truth, you bitch!"
My back was against the wall by now, trapped and helpless with an unrecognizable man right in my face. My head kept shaking in response to his questions, guilt washing over me for my deception. The truth was that I had been lying to him. I was cheating on him with Damon. It was an emotional affair, not a physical one but it was still wrong. I was guilty of every single thing he was accusing me of, but I knew that I mustn't admit that I had continued on with my friendship with Damon, not after Mason had specifically told me not to. If he was an understanding man, I didn't need to hide the truth about Damon from him, but he wasn't; he was a jealous and possessive man, easily angered by deception and lies. So I kept piling on more lies, just to placate the situation. I had to convince him that I hadn't been in touch with Damon at all, if only to calm him down. Denial was my best bet.
"No, I-I was with Caroline. We went to visit the little girl at the hospital and then she dropped me home. I swear to you, Mason, I didn't keep in touch with Da – him," I quickly amended, not wanting to further aggravate Mason by saying his name. "You told me not to see him again, and I didn't! I-I've never seen that card before; I just assumed that Caroline gave the bear to me when I was at the hospital. Wh-where did you find the card?" I was physically quaking in the boots that Mason gave me as I cowered under his terrifying gaze, willing him to believe me.
It was working. I saw it in the way his body drooped a little and the way his eyes softened. The change was slight, but it was enough to give me some hope to cling to. I knew Mason well enough by now to know that he had returned to me, from some monstrous stranger with a fiery temper to the familiar loving man I have loved for two years. It felt like a Jekyll and Hyde moment there, not knowing which personality I had to face.
"It was in one of the paper bags we brought back from the hospital," he said, sounding somewhat mollified. And then it all changed again. "What were you doing with Caroline again? I thought I made it clear to you not to mix with her anymore. Are you incapable of following such a simple request?" he bit out, his hands now gripping my arms painfully as he shook me.
"I tried, Mason, I really did! I've been spending less time with her ever since I started college again and I've barely even seen her outside of class. But I wanted to go and visit Anna and she offered to drive me so-"
I stopped in mid-sentence when he flung me back against the wall forcefully, knocking the breath out of me as I gasped out in pain when my left shoulder connected with the solid surface. It felt like déjà vu all over again, a similar scene that happened over a month prior to this, in a different room of the same house, but the crippling fear, the uncertainty, the despair, it all came crashing back to me. I didn't think that I'd ever feel those feelings again, but there I was, with tears cascading down my face, my lips clamped tightly shut and my arms wrapped around my chest protectively as my eyes squeezed shut, bracing myself for the blow that I expected to follow soon.
But it didn't come. Thank God!
"So you went against me and got yourself a chauffeur, is that it?" he shouted, his voice dangerously close to my ear. "I expected more from you, Elena! I don't ask for much, but when I do, I expect you to do as I ask without putting up a fight! You know very well how that blonde bitch feels about me. You know that she has been trying to break us up since we started dating, and yet you don't see anything wrong with that! Well, it's time to test where your loyalties lie. I've given you a new life ever since your parents died; I gave you a college education, I gave you a roof over your head, and I even support you through everything you went through. We have built a life together but if this is how you're going to repay me, then I suggest you get out of this house and see if any of your friends would take you in. But once you're out of here, don't even think about coming back, so you make your choice right now; me or your friends!"
Right on cue, I heard my best friend's voice calling out my name from downstairs, as if she had magically appeared with the sole purpose of pushing Mason's buttons, like he wasn't angry enough. My eyes popped open just in time to see Mason swear under his breath with the foulest look I've ever seen on him as he scowled towards the doorway of our room. "Get rid of her! And clean this shit up by the time I get back," he ordered, gesturing to the mess of the room before he disappeared out through the door.
I stood there against the wall, trembling from head to toe at the thought of what could have happened, then I felt my legs gave out from underneath me. I slid down onto the floor just as Caroline entered through the door and I knew that I was in for another dramatic confrontation as soon as she spied the state of the room. "Elena, what happened?" she gasped, her footsteps stopping just inside the door.
I didn't see her reaction to the mess I was surrounded with nor the way her eyes quickly slid to me on the floor because I was too emotionally upset as I cried into my hands, my body shaking violently.
"Elena," she whispered gently as I felt her crouch down to my level, her fingers stroking my hair softly. "Did Mason hit you again?"
I couldn't answer so I merely shook my head and quickly unfolded myself to get back on my feet. Mason left me a specific instruction, and I wasn't about to ignore it this time. I paid no heed to Caroline and proceeded to pick up random objects from the floor, making my way to the fallen lamp and then I saw something that made me let out an uncontrollable sob.
Mr. Cuddles.
My beloved bear was headless and lying under some broken glass that came from what used to be a light bulb, white cotton spilling out from the jagged edges of its neck, a sign that its head was forcibly torn from the body and then tossed elsewhere, somewhere in the midst of the disarray. Crying in earnest now, I cradled the lower half of my bear to my chest and knelt down on the floor, oblivious to the scattered remains of glass cutting through my jeans.
"Oh God, he murdered your bear!" came Caroline's voice from above me. Then I felt her grab my shoulders roughly, and I recoiled when the action resulted in a dull ache on the spot I had injured earlier. "What else did he do to you, Elena? Tell me!" she pleaded, her hands pushing my wide vee neck of my shirt aside to inspect the tender spot on my shoulder but I hastily jerked away from her grasp before she could get a clear look.
"Stop it, Care!" I burst out, annoyed that she was still in my house for some reason. Why did she have to return to the house? Why did she insist to meddle in my private life when I clearly didn't want her to? Why did I have to fight with Mason over her? Why couldn't she leave me alone? "I'm fine. Now will you please leave so that I can clean this up before Mason comes home?" I requested calmly and emotionlessly, brushing the wetness from my face before I set what was left of Mr. Cuddles on the floor and resumed setting the room right again.
I heard a sigh and then Caroline was gone. I was surprised, to say the least, that it didn't take that much to get her to leave but I was glad that she had listened to me. It was just as well, anyway. I had to get used to not seeing her that much anymore…it would be hard on both of us at first, but at least she had Tyler and she was always better at maintaining her friendship with other college mates than I was.
I started to pick up the specks of glass on the floor by hand, preferring not to think of anything lest my emotions got the better of me again, so I just concentrated on clearing the room of debris, one little speck at a time. Hopefully, by the time I was done, I would be able to have a clear head to think about how I was going to make it right with Mason again. I had to. He was right; I owed him my life.
"Elena, stop cleaning up! You're tampering with the crime scene," Caroline exclaimed from the doorway, appearing yet again with her mobile phone in her hand. I really thought that she had left, but apparently not. It was so typical of her, ignoring my wishes, sticking her nose in where it didn't belong. I was about to object to her presence when she pulled me up to my feet and led me to the attached bathroom, pushing me to stand in front of the mirror.
"Take a good hard look at yourself, Elena. See what he's done to you," she ordered when I refused to lift up my head. I didn't have to look into my own reflection to know that I was a mess, and it wasn't time for vanity now. I struggled to get away, but she held me to the spot, forcing my head up until my eyes connected with a stranger's in the mirror.
Whoever it was that stared back at me, I didn't recognize her. Her hair was untidy, her eyes puffy and red, mascara smeared and shirt in disarray. She looked wild and crazy, as if she was about to fall apart at any second. The most noticeable mannerism was that she was shaking like a leaf. I wanted to comfort her, whoever she was, to wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be fine but I couldn't. I didn't know if everything would be fine. I wished that I had a time machine to travel into the future to see the outcome, but I didn't so I had to make the right choice for that moment and hope for the best. I hoped it would work out for the girl in the mirror, too. I reached out my arm towards her with my fingers outstretched to wipe the smeared mascara from her face but all I felt was the cold surface of the reflective glass, shocking me as I pulled my hand back. I looked around for Caroline but she wasn't next to me anymore. So preoccupied was I with the stranger that I didn't even realize when she exited the bathroom.
Suddenly, I heard some commotion from somewhere in the house and then male voices. I panicked at the thought of Mason's swift return when I hadn't even tidied up the room yet, so I ran out only to stop short when I almost collided with a man in my room, running in through the door. It was Damon.
"Elena? You're alive? You're safe?" his velvety voice near my ear sounded relieved as he wrapped two strong arms around me, gathering me into his embrace that made me feel safe and protected for a few seconds, before the guilt sets in again. But before I could protest, another man entered right behind Damon, and I was shocked to recognize his face.
"Detective?" I blurted out incredulously. I remembered him from my parents' case but I had forgotten his name. In fact, he was the one who had appeared at my parent's doorstep and informed me that they were in an accident. What was he doing here now? In Mason's house? Wielding a gun?
"You called the cops?" I asked Caroline in disbelief, struggling out of Damon's arms to glare accusingly at my former best friend whom I finally noticed was standing near the edge of the bed. Yes, former because a best friend would never betray me like that.
"I called Damon. He called for back-up. I may have overreacted a little, but look at the state of this room. Elena, you didn't see the look he gave me when he passed me in the hallway. That man is dangerous," she explained, without even the least bit of guilt for her betrayal.
"You claimed that there was a murder?" the detective asked in all seriousness, his eyes on her, obviously not taking his job lightly.
Oh, no! No, no, no, no! It was all spiraling out of control. First, Caroline had to butt in, and then Damon, but now the police were involved too? And murder? There was no murder!
Caroline nodded and gestured to the space beside her feet, where she had placed a pillow case over a lump on the floor. "Technically, it wasn't a murder but anyone who could tear the head off an innocent bear is surely capable of one, isn't he? Lucky I turned back to return Elena's phone that she left in my car! I tried my best to salvage the crime scene, but Elena got a little too eager to clean up, so I did what I could with the time that I had left, what with her going all emotional on me," she gestured to me as she stepped aside so that the detective could hunker down beside the lump to remove the pillow case. "Maybe you'll find Mason's fingerprints on it and charge him for assault or something. I don't even want to imagine what else might have happened if I had not walked in here," she said, her worried eyes on me.
I didn't even know how to react when I saw what the detective had uncovered; whether to laugh hysterically or to break down completely when I saw my bear lying there with a blue marker outlining its 'body', exactly like a scene from CSI. Damon let out a shocked gasp when he saw his gift to me, sans head, and then he wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders, causing me to wrench myself free again.
"Yeah, she doesn't like it when you touch her shoulders. I think there's a bruise there," my former best friend said while I gaped at her audacity. Before I could stop him, Damon had already pulled my collar down over my left shoulder, and I watched as his eyes widened with concern at first and then anger at what he found there. I couldn't see if I had a bruise there but I knew that it was tender, judging by my flinch when he ran his fingers lightly across the area.
Before, I would have been affected by his touch and concern, but now it just made me feel worse for betraying Mason, so I took a few steps away from him and rounded on all three of them. "I think you should all leave now," I announced, wearing my stern expression. "Please."
"Elena, you can't seriously expect us to just leave you here alone after what that monster did to you!" Damon argued, looking appalled at the thought. "Look at this place! He trashed a room and ripped the head off a stuffed toy in a rage and you're still not leaving him? You need to leave this house and you need to go right now! Stay with Blon-Caroline or anyone else, but you have to be out of here!" His tone was firm, but he was about to discover how stubborn I can be.
"No, I don't have to do anything! This is my home and Mason is my life, and the only reason he got upset was because he found that card you left for me in a paper bag. He got jealous and thought that I was keeping in touch with you behind his back, which you know what? He's right! He's absolutely right to be jealous, because I was hanging out with you and Caroline after he specifically asked me not to. I lied to him, so I deserved whatever punishment he gave me for it. I'm sorry you got involved in this but you've wasted your time… both of you," I shifted my gaze from Damon to the detective who stood motionless beside Caroline, their frowns identical.
"I don't need nor want your help, so please go before Mason comes back and finds you all here. I have a lot of cleaning up to do, as you can see," I told them in a clipped voice, more steady than I had expected and then I dismissed them from my thoughts as I moved around my bedroom, picking up pillows and books off the floor before finding the missing head of my bear hidden under my bed sheet. My heart gave a painful twinge as I held the soft and fluffy head in my hands, and then with extreme reluctance, I placed it down on the floor with the body, intending to sweep it up later along with the fragmented glass and other unwanted items.
"Elena, come on, you can stay with me as long as you want. Just pack your bags and come with us!" Caroline pleaded. "You saw what he did to Mr. Cuddles; next time, that could be you! I can't just walk away not knowing if you'll even be alive tomorrow, so please, let us help you."
"I think you've done enough, Care. You've been butting into my personal life for one too many times already, but this? This takes the cake, even for you. You showed up here, in Mason's home knowing full well how he feels about you. Then you stayed when I asked you to leave. And now you've called the cops on Mason?" I asked brokenly, tears falling freely once again at the thought of hurting Caroline, but it had to be done. I had to make it clear that this was the end of our friendship.
Damon stepped forward, holding his hands up on each side of him as if he was trying to negotiate for peace among us. "That's not -"
"Just stop! I don't want you here and I don't want to leave the only home I have left. Please, please, I beg of you. Please go before he comes back. I'm already in enough trouble as it is, so please don't make it worse by letting him find you guys here," I begged quietly, feeling all the frustrations draining out of me. I kept a watchful eye on the time; it had been an hour since Mason left and he could very well be back at any moment. My heart thudded with nervousness at the thought of it, and I was certain that my fear was evidently displayed on my face when the detective nodded and addressed the other two.
"We should go, Damon. Elena's right and she knows where to find us if she needs our help. Come on," he said and made his way out of the room before pausing to wait for dark-haired man to make a move.
Damon didn't. He just stood there, unmoving, staring at me with a helpless and tortured look, almost as if he wanted to snatch me up and carried me bodily away, even if I was kicking and screaming all the way out. Then he nodded slowly, accepting the fact that he couldn't do anything if I wasn't cooperating anyway, so he walked towards me and just when I thought that he was about to grab me and make a run for it, he bent down, picking up the two pieces of what used to be my bear. Then, he straightened up again to peer down at me through his impossibly long lashes, only to whisper, "You know I won't stop trying to save you, although I'm just realizing that it isn't from Mason but from yourself. Once you stop being so stubborn, you'll understand that the man you used to love is no longer there, so stop trying to find him again. In the meantime, be safe, Elena."
And with that, he was gone, pulling a sputtering and reluctant Caroline along with him, leaving me alone again in a chaotic world of my own doing. I didn't realize that I was digging my own grave by pushing away the people who cared most about me, the ones who were willing to sacrifice anything to keep me safe. I didn't know that I was doing exactly what Mason wanted; to alienate me from my friends so that I had to rely on him completely. He wanted my world to revolve around him and that was what he was getting.
I realize now that he probably did that so that when he destroyed my world, I wouldn't have the will or the strength to survive. I chose Mason over my friends, and that choice was the beginning of the end for me.
Yup, I killed Mr. Cuddles. Again! And Elena made the wrong decision. Again! I'm seeing a pattern here. I'm also expecting a lot of rants coming my way. Go for it.
My twitter: cgsa_cher
Thanks, Kristi (tukct81) for being supportive and caring.
To boothishot (Erica): I'm shouting your name from the rooftops, as promised. ;)