19. TO TAKE MY HEART AGAIN.

There was a hole in Aurora's chest again... and again it was because of Killian.

When, two weeks after Mulan's arrival, Jour had appeared in her bedroom and she'd looked at his face, she'd immediately known that something really bad had happened. She hadn't even cried when he'd confirmed that her worst fear had come true. She didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be possible, Killian couldn't be... she'd refused to say or think about that word... but, no matter what she did or said, nothing could change the truth.

Killian was dead.

An accident, they'd said. She hadn't listened, not wanting to know the details. What did they matter? He was gone, he'd risked everything and had lost. 'He fought with bravery' her brother had told her, and the anger started to rise inside her: now that he wasn't there, they found out what she'd known since a lot of time before: that Hook was a good man, as brave as any other... But that couldn't either make him come back to her or the little human being that would never know its father. She'd felt how her hopes and dreams of the future had faded away. It was over. Everything was over.

She'd heard the voices of Jour, Mulan and Snow, but she hadn't paid attention to them. There'd come a moment when they'd faded away too and had been replaced by Killian's voice, telling her that he loved her, calling her 'spoiled princess' and comforting her after her travels to the Netherworld. Hate had silenced that voice forever. They could had had their happy ending, but certain people who'd thought they'd had the right to interfere in anothers' lifes had truncated it... and her rage burned inside her as fire... the fire of the Netherworld. He hadn't deserved to end up like that. Aurora would have wanted to run as far as she could, until her feet hurted so much that she'd have to stop. Anything was better than staying there... but she didn't do anything. She'd just stayed like that, unable to move a single muscle, as an ice princess.

.

The night had fallen as it did everyday, as if nothing had happened, as if the world didn't care about a lost life, a broken family or a broken future. And there she was, lying on her bed, without any intentions to get up, just looking at the walls with red eyes because of the tears. In the silence of the loneliness, she'd allowed herself to cry, cry until she'd felt exhausted. On her back, she heard how someone opened the door and walked towards where she was.

"Aurora, sweetheart" it was the kind and motherly Snow, addressing her the same way Killian had got used to doing when they hadn't even got together.

'Hello, sweetheart... come in'

Of course it wasn't her fault, but it still disturbed Aurora. The queen continued talking, obviously not aware of her friend's thoughts:

"I've brought you some food... There have been hours since the last time you ate" she said, putting a tray on the nearest table. Another memory: their first day in Neverland... more pain. Neverland... just them two and their freedom. A happiness which felt so distant now.

Aurora sat down on the bed, helped by Snow.

"Eat what you can, alright?" she said. The princess nodded and didn't say anything. The silence filled the room for many seconds.

"Aurora, I..." Snow hesitated "I know you're strong enough to come through this, but you also know you won't be able to make it alone... If there's something you want to talk about, I'm here."

"Killian once told me that I was much stronger than what one could see at first sight" she couldn't help recalling all those memories. Snow hugged her and, under the protection of her arms, Aurora started to cry again. The queen stroke her long hair.

"Listen, you've got a part of him inside you, and it's the most intimate posession you could share with him" Snow said. Aurora looked her in the eyes. "Your daughter."

"He wanted a boy... it was like a competition for us... and now I don't mind... losing it." she stumbled. How stupid that issue seemed to her now.

"Sssshhh" Snow hugged her again.

"It's so unfair... he didn't deserve anything of this." Aurora said. "He wanted to live."

"I know, I know" the queen didn't know what to say. Which words could heal a broken heart like hers? "But you have to show me that strength he once saw in you, alright? He'd want you to do it, and you know it, so you can cry as much as you want tonight, so tomorrow you start to fight again, for you three."

"How?" she simply asked. How would she live without him after the love and everything they'd shared? She'd got over many loses before (her parents and, during some time, Phillip and her brother...) but she felt so weak and tired that, for a moment she wished someone extracted her heart again so she couldn't feel anything anymore.

Wake up... come on, sweetheart... wake up.

She heard his voice again. That wasn't the solution and she knew she didn't really want it... of course not. But it hurt so much that she bursted into tears again, surrounded by Snow's arms, who hugged her until she felt so exhausted that fell asleep.

Being very careful, Snow placed her lying on the bed and, without making any noise, she got out of the apartment.

"How's she?" a female voice asked. When she turned, she saw Mulan standing on the corridor.

"Devastated" Snow answered. "She's sleeping now."

Mulan sighed and none of them knew what else they could say, too busy dealing with their own thoughts until Snow broke the silence.

"And Jour, is he blaming himself again?"

"I think so." Aurora's brother had been feeling guilty for not having helped her and Killian from the start and contributing to the tragic ending with that attitude.

"That's childish, he was the one who saved Hook's life after all... I'm going to talk to him. He can't hide from his sister, not now that she needs him." the queen said "Are you staying with Aurora?"

"All the night" confirmed the warrior "I'll make sure that she's fine and nobody disturbs her... It's the least I can do right now."

"Is that your sword?" Snow asked, looking at the weapon she hadn't noticed before.

"Of course. How would I protect her completely without it?" the warrior answered. Snow was about to tell her that she didn't think it would be necessary, but she thought twice and let it be.

"I'll come back to sleep here too." she hugged Mulan briefly and left her alone, standing where she was.

.

In the morning, when Snow had woken up, got ready for the day and left the apartment so Aurora could sleep for more time (she really needed it) she found Mulan sitting on the floor, staring at an undetermined point of the wall she had in front of her.

"You can go to sleep, Mulan." Snow said.

"No way." the warrior answered.

"Nothing's going to happen if you take a nap." Mulan shook her head. 'How stubborn she can be' Snow thought. "Alright, you're old enough to know what you do."

They sat together on the floor, leaning against the wall. They'd been just five minutes in that position when Jour appeared, walking towards them.

"At last you show up." Snow said, standing up.

"How's she?" it was the only thing that mattered to the blond.

"Still sleeping. She's had a bad night." the queen answered.

"I've been thinking..." he started "What would happen if we took her away from here? I mean, would it be dangerous in her condition?"

"I don't know, Jour" Snow answered "She's almost in her sixth month, but with such circumstances I think she'd better be checked by the doctor before we make any decision. Moreover, if you think about returning to our homes, the travel is really long. Maybe she won't be able to resist it."

"You're right" he simply said.

"Whatever we do, I think we should call the doctor anyway, just for safety" Mulan commented.

None of them spoke for some minutes, listening carefully to hear the noises proceeding from Aurora's room, but she seemed to be still sleeping.

"Didn't Eric have Hook's ship?" Jour asked.

"Yes, he does" Snow answered and, immediately, she guessed what the man wanted to talk about "No way, Jour, are you made of stone or what? It would be a torture for her to return there so early."

"It was just an idea" he excused himself. "I just thought that it would be safer to travel aboard it than on the road... I know it's been a lousy idea."

Snow took his hand.

"I know you just wanted to protect her" she said.

Mulan suddenly stood up too.

"She's awake" she said. Jour and Snow didn't know how she could have heard it when they hadn't.

Ignoring their intrigued faces, the warrior knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for an answer.

.

(two days later)

Forty-eight hours had passed without even having been noticed by Aurora. She was having dinner with her brother and Mulan since Snow had gone to send a letter to David. Her brother and her friend looked at her discretely many times to make sure that she ate everything. The doctor had said that she and the baby were fine and that, in a couple of weeks, the risks of having a miscarriage would have disappeared completely. That had been the only time Aurora had smiled since they'd known that Hook had died. She hadn't been able to avoid thinking about him almost every minute of every day. Snow, Jour and Mulan had tried their best to distract her as usual, and she was really grateful for those efforts, but she just couldn't stop remembering him. And everything around her contributed to that; everything reminded her of Killian.

Jour looked at her sister's dish one more time and, after having checked that it was less full than before, he looked at his own one again, but he'd just done it when the three heard how someone was running quickly through the corridor. The door was opened and they saw a tired but surprisingly happy Snow standing on the doorstep, trying to catch her breath.

"Aurora" she said, breathing heavily "Aurora, you won't believe it!"

"What?" the princess asked. It wasn't like she was interested in anything that could happen around her, but it had to be a really important issue if Snow was so excited.

"It's me who's received a letter from Charming." she answered. "I mean... it's not what I wanted to tell you."

"But what is it?" asked Mulan, who wanted to get down to business.

"He's alive! Killian..."

"What?" Aurora asked wide-eyed.

"He's alive" she repeated and the princess felt as if there were light in her life again, as if she were waking up after a really horrible nightmare. Her brother hugged her and Mulan took her hand, but she wasn't really aware of that. Killian was alive... she was unable to think about anything else since she was still trying to assume it. A kick from the baby made her return to reality "But how?" she finally asked.

"I don't really know. David just says that he was found still alive. He's really battered but he's going to recover completely. And honey, believe me, if Victor Frankenstein says it, is because it's absolutely true."

...

I hope you like this chapter. It's been inspired by the song 'The Lonely' by Christina Perri, which I obviously don't own, as I don't either own OUAT.

I'm not very sure about the grammar, so if you see any mistakes which hurt your sight, feel free to tell me and I'll fix them.

Thanks for reading!